Saving Grace
by Minnionette
Summary: Trapped in a quagmire of suspicion after a mission's disastrous results, Sakura misplaces her sanity. What else can a mere pawn in a game of theft, sabotage, and scientific experiments do? Here, the dead speak. KakashiXSakura & minor KibaXSakura
1. Chapter 1

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Bob made me do it.

ADDITIONAL NOTES: Flashbacks are done in italics. And, yes, these flashbacks are quite long sometimes.

* * *

The tiny vials, each no larger than the thumb of a man, for certainly her hands were smaller than most and therefore not a good comparison, were filled with liquids that changed crystalline color when viewed from different angles. They were lined together in the blue velvet-lined box like so many gaily-attired ninjas eagerly awaiting orders, all accounted for but the six missing indents on the lower left corner. The ornate kanji for her name and occupation were scribed across the lid of the box, the buckles a gleaming brass and the lock new. She had the only key, but the scratches around the keyhole were quite informative.

Someone had been in her supplies.

Someone had stolen her goods.

It was more than someone taking the knife already plunged her chest and twisting it. This was like packing salt and lime into her fresh wounds and _grinding_.

Sakura's lips pursed and her brow wrinkled as she pulled a notepad from the pocket of her gray fatigues. She flipped through dog-eared pages, her eyes scanning names and dates, until she reached the pages marked for Schedule II drugs. Under the entry for methercyclinamphetamine were only a few lines, since she so rarely used it.

#1: 1/24, Yamanaka I – concussion, 4 broken intercostals, punctured L lung

#2: 4/07, Takahashi, T – shattered R humerus, est. 10% blood loss

#3: 6/11, Kobayashi H - collapsed R lung, 40% damage to L medial aspect thigh.

#4: 6/11, Tanaka, G – L paralysis

The entries were written neatly, although the upper corner of the first name was smeared with a dark brown substance that flecked away when she absently scratched it with a chipped thumbnail. None existed after #4. Each time Sakura was forced to use what Naruto facetiously called "SupaBoostas" to give severely injured ninjas something to dull the pain, increase reaction time, and flood the body with adrenaline, she had always been sure to mark down when, where, who, and what for. Methercyclinamphetamine was harsh on the body and usually worsened the damage already accrued. It was to be given only in dire situations when the alternative of going without threatened to be far more disastrous. The medical council had been trying to pull its use for the past three years, but there was nothing that could fill its place.

But two in her personal supplies were missing, against all reason and wonder. Schedule II. Easily abused; quite addictive. An amphetamine, which made everything worse. Sakura could recall only a half-dozen med-nins trusted enough to keep a number amongst their personal supplies, and she was one of them.

Someone had destroyed the good faith and deep trust Tsunade had placed in her.

Chewing on the bottom of her lip, Sakura turned to the loose-leafed pages that lay beside the box and wrote down the batch number and the amount missing. It was at the bottom of an already-long list, and just another thing to take note after her searching. She wasn't too sure how long she had been searching; time was an unmoving as Sasuke's determination, and she had lost track. All she knew was the driving, unrelenting need to know _how much_ and, even more importantly, _why_.

"Surely," a voice said from her left, "you had enough information to present your case of sabotage and theft oh, six pages and twelve hours ago. Perhaps even twenty-four hours ago?" Sakura didn't need to look at the voice to know it belonged to Kiba. She didn't need to see him leaning nonchalantly against the wall, his arms crossed before his chest and a twisted smile on his face that hinted of fang and wicked humor.

"You know me," she whispered as she closed the box and set it carefully on top of the stack of other supplies. "Careful and complete."

"Do I," he said sardonically, "it's in your job description."

Sakura looked up sharply, a prickly retort on her lips, but all that stood to her left was a shelf of IV equipment and a coat rack. She saw her reflection in the mirror; what skin wasn't covered with abrasions and purplish-black bruises was pale. Dark rings circled beneath her slightly-unfocused eyes while a thick bandage was wrapped around her head. She had a migraine, an invasive pressure in her skulls that seemed like a vise opening outward, but she was ignoring that. Her entire body was stiff and aching, and no doubt she was in far more pain than she realized. Thank the heavens for this lovely thing called morphine, for which she had a very legitimate prescription.

With a shrug of her shoulders, she resumed her investigation.

oOoOoOo

_Sakura had checked her medical supplies the night before, when she had received the orders to accompany Kiba's team on an information reconnaissance/hostage rescue. The Hokage fully expected the hostages to need medical help, since their captors were well-known for their cruel captivity. She felt no need to double-check her medical supplies as she added supplies that didn't ordinarily accompany the med-nin's kit._

_Sakura rummaged through the medical cupboard's cabinet, signing off for each case she grabbed. Pain medications, antibiotics, several packs of syringes. With a wince of regret, Sakura also grabbed a contraceptive/abortion kit. She scanned the contents of the cupboard, mentally cataloguing what she currently possessed to every possibility. Just because she always felt surer of herself when she was over-prepared, Sakura added more bandages and syringes. _

_It took only a few moments to secure everything in her backpack before she locked up the cabinets and backed out of the storage room. She locked the door behind herself and started down the hospital's hallway. She bumped shoulders against a newly-graduated med-nin, Watanabe Haya. Watanabe gave Sakura a nervous smile. Sakura smiled back with more self-assurance. _

_Her steps echoed through the pristine white halls that smelled slightly of disinfectant and newly waxed floors. Sakura had walked these halls many times for the past eight years. Four years had been spent learning what she needed; two training under Tsunade, two in medical skills to get all the technicalities Tsunade always assured her she could pick up without a problem. The last four years she was either leaving the hospital from a mission's results, or entering for preparation of the next. Sakura could recall with clarity the first dozen or so missions after her graduation, but they all started to blur altogether after that, each becoming like the next, only with different faces and different injuries._

_The only way she could tell the difference was the scars. Due to her higher skills and aptitude for healing, Sakura often accompanied the more skilled ninjas on the more dangerous missions. Only a select score of ninjas had the skills and experience needed for such missions, and the faces never really changed; they just faded into the backdrop of memory, and it was only by the scars they bore on body and soul that she truly recognized them. Each scar for an adventure; each adventure with a mishap; each mishap cared for by her hands and her skills. _

_Now she was outside. The weather man had said there was an 80 percent chance of sunshine; Naruto declared that meant the weatherman had a 20 percent chance of being correct, and then insisted she bring an umbrella. _

_Naruto, Sakura realized as she lingered beneath the curving eaves, had been 100 percent correct. It was only a small shower though, a little sprinkling that left a mottled pattern on the dusty roads and beads of crystalline moisture on the faded foliage. No need for the umbrella; it wasn't as if she'd have enough time to take a shower when she arrived at her flat. Kiba had a habit of having the team assembled and ready to depart at the ungodly morning hour of four. _

_Sakura's steps were quick and sure; not a movement was wasted as she weaved an awkward pattern through Konoha. The rain stopped falling half-way before her hair could become more than a little damp. She nodded her head in passing at those ninjas she had treated before. Most of them she had been called to help in emergencies that exceeded their skills or knowledge, she being near their position at the time. Some she had been on missions with, but none who would be accompanying her tomorrow. _

_The eight years had passed quickly. Eight hours would be gone in a blink of an eye …_

oOoOoOo

When all was said and done, Sakura's panic levels had gone so far off the deep end that she had reached that state of mind, that sense of zen, where everything was crystal clear but the soul as fragile as the situation. It wasn't just her own supplies that bits and pieces were missing from, but also three other med-nins she had chosen to randomly search, all four supply closets, and the stores in Hinata's office.

"Makes you wonder," Kiba said from where he sat cross-legged on the ceiling. The light from the near-by bulb threw no shadow.

Sakura's bound right arm had begun trembling when she finished cataloguing. Sakura tilted her head back and took a deep breath to calm her nerves. The ocean of panic that threatened to drown her was still for a moment, but anything could send a tsunami crashing down on her. Only the pain that was so invasive and so prevalent ground her to the world and kept the events from washing her from that desperately-clung precipice.

"I mean, what's the point to stealing these drugs when they mean the difference between life and death?" Sakura bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, but Kiba continued blissfully onward. "It would have to be another med-nin. They are the only ones with keys to everything. Even the suppliers don't have access to your personal kits."

"But neither do other med-nins."

"Hinata."

"She wouldn't."

Kiba remained silent at that. With her free hand, Sakura clumsily folded the paper three times, and then tucked it into her sling. She scooted her chair backwards before standing. At the movement of her chair, Akamaru, who was curled up beside the closed door, looked up from where his head rested between two massive paws. She paused for a breath at the doorway, leaning against the jam with her eyes shut tight against the suddenly sweep of vertigo.

"Breathe through your nose; it might help," Kiba said helpfully.

"Who's the med-nin here?" Sakura asked through gritted teeth. Her white-knuckled grip on the doorway tightened. She pushed away, straightened her shoulders, and then dragged the door open. "Let's go." Kiba dropped from the ceiling and landed soundlessly on the floor behind. He fell into step with Sakura, continuing his monologue of suspicions. Having listened to it from the moment she had stormed from the hospital, prescriptions clutched closely to her chest, Sakura had grown quite used to Kiba's companionship.

She _should_ wait before telling Tsunade and the council. She _should_ get some sleep because she had been running for what seemed an eternity, since the caves. Since –

"No," she said out loud against that line of thought. Akamaru came up short with a small growl. "Ah," she said as she rested her hand on his head. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." She made her way to the stairwell. Each step seemed like she was dragging her feet through molasses, or at least Naruto hanging on her legs, begging for another date. Good grief - give in one time, present an inch, and Naruto will run amok with a few miles. Sakura shouldered her way through the doors. Gripping the railing with her good hand, which rolled and curled beneath her touch, and Akamaru trailing at her heels, Sakura inched down the stairs, one painful step at a time. Four steps from the top, she cried and arched her back as sharp pain lanced from the base of her spine through one buttock and twined downward to her ankle.

"Hey, slowpoke," Kiba said at the bottom just before the door. His hands were tucked in his pockets as he gazed up at her with a frown of concern. "You keep pushing yourself like this, and not only will you hit the wall with a dull splat, but the wall's going to crumble and collapse on top of you!"

The remaining stairs before Sakura blurred, warped, and then suddenly gave out from beneath her. Sakura screamed as she plummeted downward, jagged spikes with gleaming green points rising from the abyss. One spike slit open her leg from ankle to buttock, pain throbbing in fresh waves and blood streaming like a waterfall to wash away the stains of disease and impurity. She fell downward, and marveled at her blood gushing over Kiba, washing away his own wounds and losses until the only color that remained of his self were the dark lines indicating where he stood.

"Sakura!" Kiba's white arms stretched across the abyss and looped themselves around her waist as if made of rubber. His face was suddenly pressed against hers, a bandage strapped across his mouth and a kunai buried to the hilt in the socket of his ruined eye, darkness lurking just beyond.

"I'm sorry!" Sakura cried, flailing against reality. She reached up and yanked the kunai free, only to find that the weapon had morphed into a forehead protector in her hand, and two eyes, unmatched and widened in surprise, staring intently at her. "Oh." The sharingan caught her attention for a moment, whirling around like a spinning coin of ruby, and then she jerked her head, startled back into her wits once more at the sound of her name in a voice that was not Kiba's.

"Sakura, haven't you gotten any rest?" Kakashi asked in concern. "You're so exhausted you're falling over your own two feet."

It took a moment for Sakura to realize that Kakashi was holding her up, one arm hooked around her waist, her body pressed up against his own for balance. He wasn't even supposed to be up! "Why are you out of bed?" Sakura demanded hotly. The simmering flash of anger she felt awoke something perceptible and familiar within. This was familiar ground; she could handle difficult patients who ignored orders. "You sh-shouldn't be moving around with your wounds!"

One silver eyebrow went upward languidly. "And what of you? I fulfilled _my_ forty-eight hour observation."

"Nor should you be doing any physical labor! Lifting greater than ten kilograms is a no-no and – and – forty-eight hours?" Sakura's vision blurred and skewed. Light ricocheted from Kakashi's sharingan, and his face shattered into a kaleidoscope of pale colors and bizarre shapes. Oooh, pretty.

"Sakura, we've been in Konoha for seventy-six hours. Have you gotten _any_ sleep?"

"Hah!" A small weight fell upon Sakura's shoulder, and she turned to look at it. A mini-Kiba the size of her fist sat upon her shoulder, a pair of feathered wings sprouting from his back and a halo crookedly perching on his mussed hair. "See, if you had gotten to bed when I told you, then your old sensei wouldn't be scolding you."

"He's not scolding you," Kiba said from the other shoulder, and she turned her gaze upon him. A pair of lopsided horns peaked through his hair. He seemed to be leisurely swinging a forked tail. "At least, not yet. Give him three more sentences." He held up four fingers.

"Sakura," said Kakashi again, pulling Sakura toward him. "Off to bed you go."

"I can't!" Sakura tried to pull away before she realized that Kakashi was picking her up. With a squeak of dismay, she dropped his forehead protector, sending it bouncing down the stairs, and grabbed his arm firmly with her good arm. In a mere moment he had gently set her on the ground beside the exit door. He snapped the door open and propped it still with a firmly-planted foot.

"Don't make me toad-march you to the hospital for _your_ forty-eight hours of observation," Kakashi said as he stooped and grabbed his forehead protector. "I'm not supposed to be doing any physical labor, remember?"

"Wh-what? Oh."

"There," said the horned Kiba. "You see? In order for Kakashi to be a good patient, you must do as you're told."

"But what about all your work?" asked the winged Kiba. "What if he steals your hard work? All those hours spent finding out what's missing to be presented to Tsunade and the rest of the medical council, and he could take it! Don't put it past him, you can't trust anyone except Akamaru."

"Here now," said the other Kiba with a snarl as he jumped to his feet. "Are you calling Kakashi a liar? Sakura's own sensei wouldn't do that to her!"

"Oh, you say that _now_." The winged Kiba waved away the protest with a flippant hand. "We also said Sakura's own teammates wouldn't betray her. And look at what happened to wuzhisname - a bloodthirsty avenger with a poor sense of sanity!"

"Sasuke?" Sakura asked helpfully, bemused at how her split conscious had mixed up their roles of bad and good; she wondered if they realized they missed the memo.

"The poor boy is merely misunderstood," the horned Kiba said. There was a moment of thought among the three.

"Are we talking about the same Sasuke?" the winged Kiba asked with a bewildered expression. Sakura wondered the same thing herself as the ground moved.

"No!" She grabbed the most stable thing within reach, and found it with Kakashi's vest. The ground stopped moving, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. She found the bickering between Kiba and, well, Kiba to be woefully familiar, and while her chest ached with something greater than physical pain, it was also a comfort that spread over her panic-stretched nerves like a soothing balm.

"Ah, Sakura?" Kakashi asked. Sakura jerked, sending the two Kibas tumbling from her shoulders.

"Yes?" she asked, peering upward, past his eyes, past his hair, into the ceiling that was fading away into a clear midnight sky.

"Come rest."

"Not yet." She tried to push herself away from him. "There is something I must yet do. Th-the council must know of my f-findings before it's too late."

"Sakura, you'll do everyone, including yourself, more harm."

"I, I can't."

Kakashi sighed, and suddenly looked wearier than she felt. The pain in her chest increased; what sort of med-nin was she, to be so difficult? She was always complaining of how no one listened to her, but the example she held up for herself was _what not to do. _ "A compromise," he said at last as he rubbed his temples. "I'll take you to the lounge where you can catch a quick nap on one of the couches."

"Oh." That, she thought, was a fairly reasonable compromise. "Just a qu-quick cat nap," she said.

"Just," he confirmed. He carefully wrapped one hand around her elbow and steered her through the doorway and down the hall. _Step step clack. Step step clack_. Sakura looked around for the annoying clack that followed trhem. The floor beneath tilted her into Kakashi. He stopped as she stopped; both reasserted their balance. Her eyes trained on the floor, Sakura caught a glimpse of a long, slim tree growing beside Kakashi. How odd.

After a moment, she pushed away from Kakashi. "I'm all right," she said assuredly. He studied her for a moment, his sharingan once more hidden behind his forehead protector.

It took them a fair bit of time to navigate the hallways, Sakura leaning against Kakashi more and more often, little Kibas clinging to her feet and chanting, "Faster! Faster!" in squeaky voices. She didn't even notice when Kakashi led her into a room and was pushing her against a couch.

"Sakura, you must bend your knees," Kakashi said with a glint of humor in his eyes. She glared at him suspiciously as she forced her stiffened joints to unlock. She sank onto the couch, and then screamed and flailed her arm when the cushions rose up to engulf her. The couch! The couch was a Sakura-consuming monster!

"S-Sakura!" Kakashi grabbed the flailing arm and held it steadily in his hand, his grip strong and sure. Sakura took a deep breath and held it, focusing on the hand as a lifeline. Her vision became amazingly clear, after being skewed and blurry for so long. She could make out every line and scar on the back of his hand; could trace the web of blue veins that spread across the back, noticed valleys and tiny hairs. She could faintly imagine the pulse of blood through arteries and arterioles, and instantly her mind knew which ones to cut that could cause death if no one interfered with its bleeding. Instantly, she felt ashamed of herself for such thoughts; this was the anchor that kept her head above foam and cloth, a teacher, a friend, a fellow fighter.

Slowly, the cushions receded back into place. She lifted her eyes from Kakashi's hand and met his own, filled with worry as he studied her face. "Don't let me go," she whispered with a shaky voice, her own desperate clutch upon his life, his stability, his past and his future and his all, the only thing that kept the vast ocean of panic from sucking her under into its murky depths.

"Never," he replied softly with a firm nod of his head.

"Good." Carefully, without releasing Kakashi's hand, Sakura leaned to the side and swung her feet up to the couch. Her weight rested against her bound arm, but the dull ache was nothing compared to the deep, settled ache in her pelvis and the slicing pain that pulsated from buttock to ankle. A blur of red entered the range of her vision. Sakura's gaze focused upon it, and Akamaru came floating into view, every hair of his fur etched in sharp clarity.

"Get some sleep," Akamaru said in Inner Sakura's voice. For the first time since she had started her search, tears welled up in Sakura's eyes.

"Why did you leave me?" she asked Inner Sakura. "Where are you when I need you?"

"Sleep," Inner Sakura said more firmly, Akamaru's muzzle moving with each word. "All will be clearer in the morning. I shall stay here with Kakashi and guard you against rabid cupcakes."

"I fear no cupcakes!" Sakura declared bravely.

"Oh, believe me, these rabid cupcakes are no ordinary confections." The dragging weight spread from her legs to her chest and then her eyes. With a wicked cackle, the weight invaded her eyelids, and Sakura embraced the darkness that came after.

* * *

**Author's note and glossary**

#1: Drugs are divided into different "schedules" based completely off of how addictive/dangerous the drug is. Schedule V drugs are the safest by way of toxicity/overdose/side effects, and are usually available over the counter (OTC). Drugs included in this schedule would be aspirin, ibuprofen, Tums, etc. Anything else not a Schedule V must be obtained by prescription. Schedule II drugs are the most lethal/addictive/dangerous, and are often tightly monitored by more than just the doctor. Examples include any of the amphetamine/amphetamide drugs. Schedule I drugs are drugs that are highly addictive, incredibly dangerous, and are illegal as hell to own - like heroin. Marijuana is lumped under this category as well, and I won't go into that, because people don't need to see me up on my soap box.

#2: Methercyclinamphetamine does not actually exist; merely note the last part of the word though.


	2. Chapter 2

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Bob made me do it.

* * *

_The first greeting Sakura received when she arrived early was from Akamaru, who bounced to his paws, wagged his tail eagerly, and then pulled the usual Ah-hah-I-am-a-heterosexual-male-bask-in-my-manly-manhood-rorrw stunt._

"_Eeeeee!" Sakura raised a fist, thought better of striking someone who was supposed to be her teammate, and then roughly pushed Akamaru's head away from where the nose was longingly sniffing her nether regions. Kiba, from where he sat, pointed and laughed at her discomfort. _

"_Your dog should have better manners than that!" she told him firmly with a disapproving shake of the finger. _

"_Are you kidding?" Inner Sakura asked wryly. "This is _Kiba's_ dog we're talking about." Sakura had to concede to that, though her pride was more affected than anything else. _

"_Ah, what're you complaining about?" Kiba asked as he snapped his fingers and beckoned Akamaru to his side. "That's the furthest any guy's gotten with you since the last time Naruto tried to sneak a kiss." _

All too true_, Sakura reflected with just a touch of bitterness (although there was the half-blind drunk who had erroneously goosed her when she tried to help him from the gutter last week). Here she was, an attractive and talented young lady who should have the world beating at her door, and the most she got from any male was Akamaru's animalistic tendencies, and Naruto waiting to ambush her from behind a potted plant for a date. Why that silly boy still hadn't gotten over an adolescent crush was beyond Sakura, but she supposed she should be flattered that no matter what happened or what she said, Naruto still considered her to be his closest friend. _

"_You're…" Kiba's face scrunched up in an unhappy frown. With exaggerated care, he pulled his sleeve back and scrutinized the face of the watch bound to his right forearm. "You're early." Sakura stuck her tongue out at him, feeling too tired to care about being unprofessional and so childish. _

"_I was late once – and for a perfectly good reason, I might add – and you expect it to become a bad habit? Do I look like Kakashi to you?"_

_Kiba grinned suddenly at Sakura. He dropped his left hand to Akamaru's head as the dog licked his chomps. "I'd rather be _corrected_ instead of just _being_ correct."_

"_Besides," Sakura continued as if he hadn't spoken, "if you thought to leave a little later in the morning, people who ordinarily arrive late would then arrive on time."_

"_Alas, you have discovered my secret!" Kiba cried in faked dismay as he slapped his forehead. She blinked in surprise. _

"_Secret? What secret?" _

_Kiba sat against the high wall, facing outward from the fort to the forest that stretched beyond. When dawn came, the hills would light up as if created from spun gold. In the darkness before the dawn, the hills were as dark and smudged as the fort. Kiba rubbed his back against the wall and looked outward. "I always tell people to be here in what is actually a half-hour earlier than I expect. That way, when they think they're actually half-hour late, they're on time." He glanced sideways at Sakura, who was glaring at him in dawning realization. "You are very early. At least an hour." _

"_I see." _

"_Take a nap," Kiba declared flippantly. "You'll have at last a half-hour of rest before anyone else shows up." He folded his hands behind his head as the rest of his lanky body fluidly relaxed, legs outstretched and crossed at the ankle. Huffing, Akamaru turned about in a circle and then laid down, his head on the curve where the thigh met the knee. Kiba absently rubbed behind the ears. _

_Sakura looked around at the section of the walls the team was supposed to meet. There wasn't exactly a selection of comfortable places for which to sit, so she opted to plop down beside Kiba, placing her backpack with its supplies on the ground beside herself with more care than she handled her own body. With a cheeky smile, she twisted her upper body until it rested against Kiba's shoulder. She could feel the definition and outline of the heavy muscles, could feel them ripple and flex as he crossed his arms. _

"_This is my shoulder you're learning again," he said with a low growl._

"_Oh, I don't mind in the least. I figured out long ago that cooties were a myth." Kiba snorted. One arm snaked around her waist and tugged her even closer. With an exaggerated sigh, he slid the other arm across her thighs and snuggled up against her side._

"_I suppose I can allow you," he said snidely, "but only because you're warm and," here he poked her deltoid muscle with a frown, "softer than the floor itself. But not by much. At least you smell good. Do you use apples in your shampoo?" They sat beside one another, shoulder to shoulder, thigh to thigh, Kiba's fingers lightly pressed against the curve of her hip and the flat contour of her lower abdomen. Most ninjas were now reluctant to get close to their workmates, even casually, due to the ruckus involving Gai, one of his students, and a still-pending sexual harassment suit. Knowing well how emotional and open Gai was, given to randomly hugging people when the mood and moment called for it, Sakura thought the whole thing was just a big hullabaloo over nothing. A person shouldn't have to be a long-time skilled med-nin to know that a simple touch was a powerful medicine in so many different ways that conventional drugs could never hope to emulate. _

_Because of close and personal contact with canines, personalities and boundaries shifting and blurring until it seemed that the dogs were human-like and the humans were dog-like, Kiba and his clan were often generous with physical contact, but it wasn't sexual. It was as natural as scratching to reach out and touch someone, usually to offer and show comfort, support, friendship, and trust. It was done in the same manner and characteristics as their dogs, and any who faulted them for it would also have to complain about the fleas. _

"_You don't have fleas, do you?" Sakura asked suddenly. _

_Kiba's face scrunched up as if he had bitten into something extremely bitter when he had been expecting a sweet. "Akamaru and I keep ourselves well-groomed, thank you very much!"_

_Sakura couldn't help but giggle at that. "Sounds like a personals ad." She glanced sideways at him. "Not another secret of yours, is it?" _

"_The fleas? It's not as if we have to use collars to keep them away, not when powders work so well _plus_ the blackmail on Shino so—" _

"_No, silly. The personals ad." _

_Kiba rolled his eyes. "I noticed they're only for people looking for partners of the opposite sex." _

"_Oh. Too bad; half of your interest will never be achieved, at least through personals ads."_

"_No worries. As long as I have Akamaru, the whole world is grand!" _

_Sakura pulled her knees close to her chest. Kiba shifted, lifting his one arm from her thighs and draping over Akamaru's head. It must be nice, Sakura reflected, to be satisfied with only one simple possession or person. The world may mean less, but it's made all the more better because there is no greed, desperation, or perverted desire to gain the near-impossible. It gives a person the chance to slow down and appreciate existence, whether it be one's own, or someone else's, or no one's. _

_Sakura yawned. Kiba grinned. "Want to take that nap?" _

_Rest is important, she knew that. There had been a full week of school spent on studying sleep and its healing effects. "I think I will," she said, resisting the urge to rub her eyes. She settled against Kiba, trusting him to be her eyes and ears, watching and wary against threat and harm. _

_When he moved from her, pulling his arms back and the muscles in his shoulders tensing, Sakura opened her eyes and sat upright just as someone jumped over the wall behind them and landed with a soft thump of padded shoes against rock. Ochi Haruki was well-suited for a long journey, if Sakura recalled correctly; he was easygoing and had a simple manner that allowed him to be pleasant company even in tight situations. _

I_f Ochi thought his leader's behavior with Sakura unbecoming, nothing in either voice or manner hinted of such as he greeted Kiba with a blank voice and bland words. Bland __**was**__ a good way to describe the man – it was also the only way to describe him; he had nondescript lank brown hair, nondescript brown eyes, and a simple face that was neither unique nor remarkable. He could disappear into a crowd, and it would be the person beside him, or behind him that his watchers would notice. Ochi made an excellent spy and had worked on his own until Kiba decided to build what he called a crack-shot team._

_Kiba nodded his head in acknowledgement, and Akamaru summoned enough energy to thump his tail against the floor once. Ochi silently settled himself not too far away from the group, his backpack propped up against the wall as he crouched beside it. He folded his arms and appeared to be studying the cracks in the floor. The first time she had been assigned with Kiba's team, Sakura had been bothered that one of the teammates seemed to want nothing to do with her. She didn't realize until later that this was simply a habit of Ochi's; if he neither spoke nor did anything, there was no behavior she could link to him._

_It was sad, really. Ochi would leave so little of an impact in the world; she suspected that his death would be as nondescript and as bland as he was in life. _

_Sakura broke away from her thoughts and glanced at her watch – eighteen minutes had passed since she had arrived. Smirking smugly, she nudged Kiba and showed him the face of her watch. He rolled his eyes and shrugged, as if to say, "That's life." _

_However, it was forty-two minutes later when Gina actually appeared, half-dragging her pack as she sucked down a steaming cup of black coffee, grimacing at the flavor and heat and looking ready to bite the first person who spoke. Kiba silently rose to his feet. Taking it as the signal to go, Sakura and Ochi also stood up, shouldering their packs and looking at him for guidance._

_Kiba stared outward, over the open hills. The sky was just beginning to lighten up, blotches of lighter blue stood in contrast, circling above and beyond until it finally melded into the darker velvet of midnight. He was silent with his hands on his hips, Akamaru scratching an ear and looking bored. When Gina finally finished her cup of coffee, crammed the Styrofoam cup into a pocket, and pulled her backpack on all the way, Kiba finally turned to face the team._

"_You know the drill," Kiba said with a no-nonsense frown that would broach no conversations or questions, "remember the mission, success is priority at the cost of your own life if need be, but if you can run away to live and fight another hour, do it, yada yada yada. However, this time it's not about us or our enemies. This time, it's about the hostages tucked away in those mountains, tortured maybe, in need of medical help. You all know I'm of the mind that a med-nin can take care of him– or herself, but Sakura is the one who will be treating them; _she _is our precious cargo. Thus, if our first priority is to reach and retrieve the hostages, our second priority is to see to it that Sakura gets there alive and in a large enough piece to do the things she needs to do." He looked at Ochi and Gina. Ochi nodded once; Gina yawned and waved her hand._

"_Yeah, yeah." Gina could be as rude and temperamental as Kiba. Her hair, tucked back in a sloppy ponytail, was only a few shades darker than Ochi's, but her eyes were a noticeable shade of aqua-blue. Gina was one of the few rare kunoichi who suffered few qualms trading sex for information on spy missions if it came to that. Between she and Kiba, they covered four areas of interest and/or preference (five, if one believed the rumors about Kiba and his clan). Besides, Gina had told Sakura snidely on their first mission together, she was getting up there in years, so it wasn't as if she had much time left in life to worry about her reputation. "Keep Sakura alive. Get to hostages. Sure." She yawned again, and stared blearily at the lightening colors of dawn, as if to accuse it for not giving her a few extra hours to sleep. The darkness was as cruel to her features as any light could be. Gina had the sort of faded beauty of someone who had been long-abused by time and events, wrinkles at the corners of her mouth and crow's feet at the edge of her eyes, furrows in her forehead, and eyes that were tired and disgusted with life._

_Kiba turned to where the wall curved in the distance. He whistled and raised his hand. In the distance, a piece of darkness detached itself from the wall and waved its arm. Taking it as the signal they could move out, they leapt from the wall, three team members and a dog following after their leader. The sun would rise, and they would keep on moving. _

_They would not reach their destination until the sun set._

oOoOoOo

When Sakura stirred awake, she became aware of a cold numbness that settled in her lumbar, and a numbness of a different texture in her arm, more due to her weight upon it for an extended period of time. She blinked her eyes, once more dismayed to realize her vision was still skewed. A clamp of steel bit into her unbound hand, too tight for her to move against. She raised her head and stared at the clamp. The cold gray of its chain trailed from where it disappeared into her flesh to the mangled stump of Kiba's right forearm, chain blending into bone, ragged bits of dying flesh still clinging to the shriveled muscles. He smiled, though it wrenched her heart to see it; some thoughtless soul had stitched his lips together.

Then he grinned, and the stitches pulled free from his top lip. "You reek like a pig!" he declared brightly, leaning forward in his seat.

The flash of indignant anger had Sakura sitting upright and reaching with her bound arm to grab Kiba by the neck and strangle some etiquette into him. "What did you say?" she demanded with gritted teeth, her bound arm extending from her chest only as far as it could in its straps.

Kakashi blinked in surprise. "I asked if you still felt fatigued." He cocked his head and regarded her with a detached curiosity, almost as if he didn't want to get involved, but since they were in the same room he'd ask anyway. It was belied by the worry shining in his exposed eye. "Sakura, you've been acting very odd with this whole mission."

Sakura looked down at the clamp around her hand. There was no clamp and no chain; Kakashi's hand, larger than her own, engulfed her hand with a firm grasp. His knuckles were white and his hand cold. Sakura looked up into Kakashi's eye and smiled. He stopped speaking, his eyes wide and a fleeting expression of shock where his face was visible. "You didn't let go," Sakura whispered, leaning toward him. Kakashi didn't move; he continued to stare at her with the odd expression. She smiled shyly and turned her face from him. "Everyone else lets go, but you didn't. You still held on." A surprisingly sharp ache settled in her breastbone as she said the words and her eyes fell upon Akamaru, who was curled up on the floor with his back pressed against the couch. One ear twitched at the sound of her voice and his tail thumped twice before stilling.

"Sakura? Sakura." Kakashi pressed his free hand against her jawbone and applied light pressure, forcing her head to turn until eye contact was made. "It's important to hold on to treasures and not let them go." He studied her face intently; she could feel the sting of tears in her eyes, unshed, but it only made her vision worse. "I find that one's grasp on the world is one of the greatest treasures in reality," Kakashi said softly. Sakura's eyes flickered.

Just beyond Kakashi's shoulders was Kiba, who leaned against the opposite wall with his hands tucked behind his head. He was chewing on a blade of grass, rolling it between his teeth and frowning at the green tip. "Listen to the man," Kiba said around the blade. "It's going to be the password phase for the medical council." He nodded his head at his own words, and then melted into the wall, leaving only an impression of the tattooed triangles ever-present on his cheeks.

"Now." Kakashi carefully worked his hand free of Sakura's. The movement in both his hand and hers was stiff, their joints reluctant to move after remaining their position with pressure for some time. "I find I must make a strong recommendation to forego the medical council and see a doctor about your health first; I awoke you because—"

"No." Sakura's voice was firm and she clenched her jaw, silently daring Kakashi to continue challenging her. "I must see the medical council; this is too important for me to wait on it any longer. Lives have been lost because of this. Besides, I've already seen the doctor." She scooted closer to the edge of the couch, and then stood up so suddenly that her chest brushed against Kakashi's face. A little more stiff and moving with more caution than she, Kakashi reached for the cream-colored walking stick propped up against the couch and also stood.

"Let me accompany you," he said.

"Don't do it!" A mini-Kiba with shocking pink hair and Inner Sakura's voice appeared on the tip of Sakura's nose. "Don't do it! He'll take the secret away from you! He'll take away your hard work and say you made it all up!"

Rising from the floor like a flower bursting from spring soil and growing upward, Kiba snatched up the mini-Kiba/Inner Sakura hybrid in his fist. With a flourish of his hand and a look that said _After you, _he stepped to the side of Sakura.

"I'll keep this one busy," Kiba assured Sakura. "I was looking for some fishing bait." The mini-Kiba/Inner Sakura hybrid in his hand exploded into a shower of red sparkles. It took Sakura a blank moment to realize that the red sparkles were crystallized blood drops.

"Oh." It was a tiny sound, but Kakashi still gave her a look of concern. She followed him meekly out of the room and down the hall, leaning against his sturdy side. She told herself it was only because he was so concerned for her, and that it was good to stroke the male ego and make them think that they were being a help rather than a hindrance.

"Yeah, yeah," said Kiba, who was striding ahead, "and the world is square." Inner Sakura, Sakura was sure, would have had something witty to reply with, but Sakura was drawing blanks. There was a layer of cotton over her brain; she knew she had to tell the medical council about the medications. Tsunade would have received her report by now, would have called Hinata, Shizune, Peko, Kishi-san, and Kuro together to discuss everything. She was only to present herself to Shizune, who would call everyone else together to listen to Sakura's results.

But … There was a piece of the puzzle missing.

Sakura's eyes slid sideways to Kakashi, who was concentrating on putting one foot ahead of the other and keeping her on track. She could tell he was frowning from the wrinkle in his brow, the narrowing of his one eye. What did he do? Did he do something when he was asleep? Maybe – maybe he did something to make it difficult for her to think.

Sakura turned her face from Kakashi and tried to look unobtrusively over her shoulder for Akamaru. Kiba said Akamaru would protect her. The knot of worry in the pit of her stomach loosened when she saw Akamaru trailing behind, tail wagging gently with each step. Akamaru would bite Kakashi if the man did anything; yeah, give him something nasty, like rabies –

_No!_ Kakashi would never hurt her! He was her teacher; he had been protecting her since she became his student eight years ago. There were just some things that you never let go and, just as a mother never stops mothering, a teacher also never stops teaching and a protector never stops protecting.

Sakura's free hand tightened into a fist. She wished she still had something sturdy in which to anchor herself, something to grip and not let go, knowing she didn't _have_ to let go. Up ahead, his back to them and hands stuffed into his pockets, Kiba shuffled along. She watched as he moved further and further ahead, shrinking out of view and out of life.

They came to a corner, and as Kakashi led Sakura around it, something dark swung into her face. Sakura fell backwards with a gasp, her free hand flailing to protect her eyes, and nearly knocking over Kakashi. The dark shadow swung away; Sakura forced herself to focus upon the grisly scene. A body was slung from the ceiling by a rope, the noose tight around the neck. When the body swung about, Sakura stuffed her hand into her mouth to suffocate a scream. Gina's face was bloated purple and her eyes seemed half-popped from her head – wide and white and so filled with fright. The tip of her black, swollen tongue protruded between cracked, bloodless lips.

Ochi hung from the ceiling by a barbed hook forced through his abdomen, intestines threatening to spill out. He was trying to cut Gina down with a butter knife, but the fraying rope kept repairing itself. He finally looked down at her, and spoke in a voice as dry as autumn leaves blown across a dusty road, _"Sakura. Help us."_

"Sakura?" Sakura shook her head at Kakashi's worried voice and looked down, squeezing her eyes shut. The image of Gina strung up and dead from a long struggle without air was burned into her retinas. In her mind's eye, she could see the body swing back and forth like a pendulum. Kakashi gently grabbed her by the shoulders and squeezed. "Sakura, what is wrong? Open your eyes."

Sakura shook her head and refused to answer – she was not going to cry, not going to cry cry cry cry. A sob escaped her lips. Too late; no, not before Kakashi. He was strong for her so she had to be strong for him, for someone. Taking a deep breath, Sakura opened her eyes and lifted her chin bravely. Both Ochi and Gina were gone, but she still heard the whisper of _Sakura. Help us. _ Kakashi nearly had his covered nose pressed against her own.

"Sakura, you are not feeling well," he said carefully.

"Don't let him say no!" Akamaru called with Inner Sakura's voice. "Don't let him stop you, because once they stop you you're dead! Dead like a burnt-out light bulb! You can't fix burnt out light bulbs; they can only toss you out. And then what will you say when Ino mentions that you're as bright as a burnt-out light bulb?"

"I have to do this," she told Kakashi with a shaky voice. She felt something brush against her hand, and she looked down to see that Akamaru had moved himself into her reach. With a gentle smile, Sakura scratched him behind the ears. "Sorry," she told Akamaru, though it was addressed to Kakashi as well. "Just a little longer, and this will be done." Kakashi looked ready to argue, but when Sakura started to walk away, he fell into step beside her and remained silent, undoubtedly against his better judgment.


	3. Chapter 3

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Bob made me do it.

* * *

They met Shizune in the hall while the med-nin was supervising a few medics in the allocation of supplies. When Shizune saw Kakashi and Sakura arrive, she left the medics with a curt command to finish their orders. Then she silently led the way to an empty conference room.

Sakura looked at the chairs with some trepidation, remembering how the couch had tried to eat her before her nap. Shizune gazed at Sakura with a worried frown. "Have you been to see the doctor?" she asked Sakura. Sakura nodded wordlessly. When she realized that Shizune was waiting for her to explain, Sakura sighed and brought out the small bottle of liquid morphine she had tucked in her bound arm, besides the paper that listed all missing medicines.  
"I saw her when I got back, and he gave me an oral solution of morphine sulfate at a dosage of ten milligrams per milliliter." Sakura gave the bottle a shake; she could hear the contents in the bottle splash. "But I need to have a clear mind, so I won't take my next dose until this meeting is over."

Shizune looked at Kakashi with reluctance clear on her face, and grew more worried-looking when he shrugged and moved stiffly to pull a chair out from the table. He looked expectedly at Sakura. "I need to stand," Sakura replied. "I – I think I slipped a disk, so it's best if I stand. Less pressure along the spine."

"Then you shouldn't even be up," Shizune declared. "You should be at home resting, with someone to wait upon you hand and foot. And a closer examination is needed if you 'think' you slipped. You're good, Sakura, and you know your body better than anyone else does." There was an underlying edge of warning beyond Shizune's words, but it escaped Sakura's grasp.

"Don't!" Akamaru growled from where he sat beside Sakura, looking up at her and sounding like Inner Sakura. "Don't let her stop you! She'll take the evidence and leave you with your trousers down and having to explain why you're mooning everyone! Be firm and do not let her remove your clothes! I always did suspect that one of being a lesbian, anyway."

Since that sounded like something Kiba would say if he were drunk – or sober, come to think of it – Sakura gave Akamaru a withering look. He whined and curled up at her feet. "But _everyone else _says she's a lesbian. You can't trust lesbians. They have a bad habit of cuddling a person to death." (+)

Sakura turned her attention back on Shizune. "I can't. This needs to be done before I can rest – before I can _be_ at rest."

Still looking unhappy and ready to protest again, Shizune nonetheless bowed her head and departed to fetch the other members of the medical council. Sakura reached a shaking hand out to the back of the chair and leaned against it. Her back ached, and her spine felt ready to snap in half from the weight of her problems and the mysteries piled on her shoulders. They needed to go to someone stronger than she, someone whose shoulders were wider and more muscular.

Sakura eyed Kakashi's shoulders and wondered if he wouldn't mind shouldering her burden. It wouldn't be too much to ask of him, wouldn't it? After all, Kakashi had an oh-so-fine pair of shoulders if she did think so herself. Mmm. "Kakashi?" She marveled at how the sound of his name – any sound, really – rolled from her tongue and dropped into the air like sand sliding through fingers.

"Hmm? Sakura, sit down." Kakashi worked his fingers beneath her own and pried them from the back of the chair. "You're swaying, and pressure or not, I think it would do you more damage to wind up with your nose pressed against the floor." More gently, he carefully steered her around and made her settle into the chair, and then pulled another up to sit beside her.

"Kakashi."

He looked at her expectedly. Sakura felt something bump against her body, a jarred feeling that ran up the length of her legs to her hips. She looked down to see Akamaru pressing his nose against her knee, tail wagging vigorously. "Ah, poor boy," Sakura said with a soft voice.

"Did you just call me a boy?" As far as she knew, Akamaru had never spoken to anyone except Kiba and his clan. Inner Sakura had somehow swiped his vocal cords and was using Akamaru as some odd medium.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Sakura told Akamaru with a frown.

"Shh. We mustn't attract the attention of the rabid cupcakes."

"Or the lesbians, I suppose." Sakura made a show of looking around, and then immediately regretted it as it sent a lancing pain down her buttock that had her arching her back and clawing at the arms of her chair. The chair's arms melted away from the chair and came up to wrap around her torso. The cloud of crackling sparkles that filled her vision and hearing buzzed softly, but she was only concerned with the flashes of color. If she could reach into that cloud far enough, maybe she could catch a soul winging its way free of this misbegotten world…

oOoOoOo

"_Here you are," Kiba said as he squatted in the underbrush beneath the long-needle pine, his green flak jacket easily blending into the surrounding shrubbery. Gina was swearing softly beneath her breath somewhere off to Sakura's right; apparently she had gotten entangled in a bramble bush, then tripped and fell into a batch of stinging nettle. All in all, Gina probably considered it just the crowning achievement of a day that had begun all wrong. Sakura knew that somewhere, somehow, someone - most likely when they reached their destination - was going to receive the full brunt of Gina's frustrations. _

_Who ever said that being a ninja wasn't therapeutic? _

_Ochi crouched on his heels, his hands lightly resting upon his knees and his eyes focused upon Kiba. Kiba frowned unhappily until Gina finally managed to join them. She had long, bloodless scratches along the length of her arms that blended with the surrounding rising red rash. Sakura wordlessly reached into her pack for an ointment. They didn't need one of their fighters to be occupied with scratching an invasive itch instead of covering the backs of her comrades. As Kiba spoke Sakura deftly dabbed a small bit of the ointment on Gina's arm. Gina cast her a grateful look before vigorously rubbing the ointment into her skin._

"_We're here." Kiba had cleared the forest ground of any grass and leaves a little earlier, and was now using the free space to make a crude drawing. "Here is the entrance of the cave. Here is the mountain. From the direction of the wind, sentries are posted here, here, here, and here. Ochi and Gina, I want you two to take out the sentries without alerting the main guard. Sakura; you, Akamaru and I will head for the main entrance. Since this is only a holding cell, the main guard shouldn't be too large. Leave them to Akamaru and me. Follow behind us, close enough that we can hear you're near, but far back enough that you won't get caught." He looked around expectedly, and though Sakura had only been with the team for a few missions, Gina and Ochi were familiar enough with the routine that they asked no questions._

_Kiba, still crouching, held up three fingers. "You have a three minute head start. Good luck," he added quickly. His two subordinates silently leapt into the trees and disappeared, each heading in a different direction with different targets in mind. He silently counted off those minutes, ticking the seconds with a finger tapping consistently against the hard muscles of his thigh. Akamaru sat patiently on his haunches, head turning to catch scents drifting in the wind. Sakura checked the straps on her bag, assuring her goods' safety and security. _

_When Kiba finished tapping his finger, he and Kiba stood simultaneously and looked expectedly at her. He grinned suddenly. "How's about a kiss for good luck?" he asked with a wicked glint in his eyes. _

_Sakura raised her nose in the air. Any tension she felt in her shoulders had disappeared at his humor. At least, she _thought _ it was humor; it was difficult to tell sometimes with Kiba. "Hmph. No. But I will give Akamaru a scratch for good luck." She motioned her fingers at Akamaru who, with a wag of his tail, approached her and lolled his tongue as she dug her fingers into his thick fur. _

_Kiba pouted._ _"How come he gets all the attention?" _

"_I admit that he smells, scratches himself in obscene areas, and is hairy, but then so are most two-legged boyfriends I've had," Sakura said. "You lot don't have the same excuse as Akamaru does." Akamaru poked his nose where it didn't belong and wagged his tail suggestively. "And you all like to go for the hips," Sakura growled, pushing Akamaru's head away. "Do that again," she warned him in a _sotto_ voice, "and I'll rip your tongue out. Once was one time too many." _

_Akamaru slunk back to his master, tail between his legs._

_Sakura could feel her heart pounding dully in her chest. She understood, from experience, what was going to happen next, and she could feel her heart rate quickening, though not as fast as it had in past missions; Kiba was keeping her from tensing up and going into a panic mode. Each breath she took was still calm and regulated. Kiba flashed her a toothy grin before gathering his strength beneath and then leaping up into the tree branches above, Akamaru following at his heels. Sakura waited for half a dozen heartbeats, and then hastened after him on the ground. _

_Most ninjas approached above-ground level, preferring to use tree limbs to mask the sound of their movement. Most ninja patrols thus paid little notice to the ground level. Kiba and Akamaru would cover Sakura on the ground, and she could cover them on the tree limbs. _

_They approached the cave at top speeds, their surroundings a blur. They operated without thought, dependant upon their senses and subconscious to react against friend and foe, reflexes tempered with skill and intuition that never touched upon the here and now. Thoughts came trailing behind, contemplating what could be done differently should a similar situation ever arise. There was no time to think; few situations afforded a person time in which to survive or at least come out partially intact once having had unbidden thoughts. Emotions were carefully tucked away in a darker part of the soul, for it wasn't easy to take the life of another person. _

_Yet another reason for thoughts not to exist; thoughts expressed emotions, emotions beget hesitance, hesitance brought death._

_The good always died young, the best first. _

_Sakura was still trying to figure out how Naruto managed. She supposed one could afford generosity when there's a chunk of endless chakra stored against all comprehension in one's bellybutton._

_The woods were silent as the cave mouth loomed, becoming larger in vision the closer they approached. Sakura's ears caught the uncertainty of Kiba's feet as he faltered on one tree limb, before leaping to the ground. His pace slowed, and then he was beside Sakura, matching her stride for stride as their footsteps blended into one solid sound. Akamaru continued his own acrobatics amongst the trees, ready to detect oncoming enemies from the treetops. _

"_It's too quiet; there are no guards," Kiba said with a low growl. Sakura said nothing, concentrating on her surroundings. It was quiet, but it could mean the guards were within the caves, hidden in the complex array of tunnels and caverns. "And I can't smell Gina or Ochi anywhere."_

"_Withdraw?" It wasn't a question asked of Kiba very often; he was as notorious as Naruto for charging headlong into his missions without much heed to surrounding dangers. _

"_No. Be ready for send an outside signal though." With an explosion of strength, he jumped clear of the ground and back into the trees, all the while gaining speed. Sakura felt her mind slowly shut down, and her senses scattered to factor in her position with her surroundings. She saw Kiba and Akamaru enter the cave first, saw the flash of cloth swallowed in the darkness. _

_Somehow, they managed to separate. She couldn't stay at their heels when the cave's tunnel split. Having lost sight of them the moment she plunged into the inky darkness, she made a split decision to follow the well-worn path. Her breaths were loud and harsh to her ears as her headlong pace slowed. Her heart pounded; in the empty stillness of the tunnel, she could sense thousands of tons of earth pressing overhead, ready to collapse at any given moment. She would never be found; no one could ever truly say what happened to her for, without a witness, there would always be doubts –_

_Sakura pinched the flap of skin between thumb and index finger. The prick of pain chased away the sense of disorientation with which her mind was becoming bogged. She reoriented her bearing to her surroundings, took note of her location, and continued doggedly down the tunnel. If Kiba wasn't ahead, then she could always retrace her steps or, for that matter, _he_ could come looking for _her. _After all, she wasn't the one whose sense of smell was developed even beyond a nin-dog's capacity. She shook her head against the muddling thoughts and continued her way down the tunnel._

_She didn't have a light to by which to guide herself, so she closed her eyes and concentrated on the sounds and how they bounced from object to object. Each one told a story of space and placement by tone and pitch. Inner Sakura rode on the recesses of her mind, a watchful entity that could think and analyze in ways she couldn't afford. People said it was a bad sign when there were two opposing personalities existing in the same body; the capabilities a single human mind had difficulty enough being constrained by the body – two human minds couldn't fit, by any reasonable comprehension._

_Sakura and Inner Sakura didn't _oppose_ one another. They were in accordance with each, harmony and agreement creating a bond that kept reality woven together. Having been together as long as both could remember, the loss of either would be devastating, like losing a leg and an arm, and probably a kidney or two. It was times like this that they were most appreciative for having an extra person; let Inner Sakura be the one to watch Sakura's back. Sakura only had to concern herself with getting from Point A to Point B. _

_Quickly, the tones of her steps against the rough stone changed, and she opened her eyes to see a faint green lighting ahead as the tunnel opened into a cavern. The light reflected off the stalactites and stalagmites, creating insidious shadows that looked like creeping enemies. Sakura pressed herself against the wall, and then jammed herself between two large stalagmites. She forced her breathing to slow and listened beyond the roar of blood in her ears. Inner Sakura, too, turned her attention on their surroundings, and two minds together sifted through the details, discarding many as mundane, and only a few as significant. _

_There was a rustling ahead, like the soft whisper of clothes being rustled as the wearer paced; the shuffle of leather or cotton against stone, like shoes dragging across the floor. The sounds of breathing would be too faint to detect, so Sakura tightened the straps on her pack and moved from stalagmite to stalagmite, using the natural stone spike-like formations to hide herself. _

_Here, possibly, were the hostages. It was far back enough in the undergrounds they could be considered secure, but she couldn't be positive. Even if they were the hostages, Sakura had to secure the area before she could treat and/or evacuate, whatever was most needed. There were only supposed to seven missing; five female and two male, and of those females, three were young girls between the ages of nine and fourteen. _

_Sakura finally reached an area where the reflected light was the brightest. She listened closely to any movement, but the sounds from earlier hadn't changed. Bracing herself against a possible attack, Sakura carefully peered around the stalagmite and craned her neck to look beyond. There were cages. And in the cages were –_

_She dropped back behind the stalagmite, a frown marring her face as she tried to compute what she saw._

"_Get closer," Inner Sakura said with a vicious poke at Sakura. With a nervous gulp and a steeling of nerves, Sakura slipped around the stalagmite and approached the cages. One, in particular, drew her horrified attention._

_No, no, this was not possible. _

_It had been an outfit one of the family members had described their eleven-year-old daughter dressed in when they last saw her. The green silk with ornate maroon stars embroidered upon the Mandarin collar and sleeves. The matching maroon ribbons twisted into a fancy up'do, and the gold bracelet on the left wrist. The tearful parents had even supplied a picture of their daughter when she first wore the outfit, cherub face turned to the camera lenses with a smile that could cast light upon the blackest of souls. _

_Sakura slipped back behind a stalagmite and quietly vomited. _

_The gold bracelet had been too small for the wrist, and the clawed hand had undergone extensive tissue necrosis.(+) The clothes were split at the seams from having a massive growth explode from the inside, pressing beyond allotted size. The maroon starts had faded, blended into the old blood that seeped from eyes, ears, nose, and mouth of something that had once been a young girl going out with friends on her birthday, but was now a massive, twisted, bloated organism that now only vaguely resembled a human._

_Wiping a hand over her mouth, reveling in the distinct stench of hydrochloric acid, Sakura forced herself to look upon the face of something that had been changed by inhuman and incomprehensible means. There are times in a person's life when one just knows; the person did not have prior information, the person didn't even start with a suspicion, but looking created an overload of too much information. Comprehension occurs within a flash at the synapse, and all is made far too clear. It's not an event that happens often, but Sakura recognized it for what it was, and she cursed it. _

_ These creatures had once been their hostages._

_But if sent to rescue humans, what does the mission become when there's nothing human left to rescue?_

_In the silence of the cavern, dimly lit by an unknown source of green light, a voice spoke that threatened to shatter the shreds of calm Sakura desperately held to herself, already fragile from the assault by sudden comprehension:_

"_It's been eight years. Surely you haven't maintained a naivety to be repulsed by this?"_

_Sakura closed her eyes in a wince, and then opened them. She forced her gaze from the creature in the cage to another cage where a specimen restlessly paced back and forth, clothes torn and the ragged bits of flesh surrounding it. All that was left of that creature's humanity was the watch that cut into the flesh of the left … paw? Yes, a paw, and a leather shoe that hung onto a clawed back paw by a single strap. A shadow sat hunched upon the cage's top. It moved like quicksilver over the top of the cage from the shadows and to two arms lengths within reach, where light shone onto features that were older and more jaded than she had last witnessed. _

_There had been times in the past eight years that Sakura had thought she hit rock bottom; she always surprised herself when she found she could pull herself up and over the edge, even if she needed a nudge or push from Inner Sakura, Kakashi, Tsunade, or Naruto. "There are some things," her voice cracked and she winced at it, "that still continue to shock or repel me." She looked into sharingan eyes, not fearing what she may discover, though even that should still be a shock in and of itself._

"_It has nothing to do with naivety, Sasuke-kun, but rather my humanity."_

_

* * *

_

**author's notes and glossary:**  
Necrosis is tissue death. When the blood supply is cut or strangled off (as in the case of the laces and the too-tight shoe), the tissue dies without the oxygen and other nutrients needed to maintain life. This process can happen very slowly in healthy people, or extremely quickly in those who are not - such as the elderly or those with diabetes. A common form of necrosis is gangrene. Once the damage is done, it is irreversable.

Akamaru's opinion of lesbians are his and his alone, and in no way reflect that of the author.


	4. Chapter 4

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Bob made me do it.

* * *

"_Humanity," Sasuke repeated as he turned sideways to face the caged creatures and languidly crossed his arms before himself, "and what is humanity?" The disdain on his face was clear as he surveyed the creatures, disgusted at their presence and arrogance etched in every line and every curve of his body. _

_Red flashed around the edges of Sakura's vision, and she barely squashed the suicidal impulse to reach out and strangle some sense into her former teammate. Eight years gone and he hadn't learned anything about looking beyond his own nose at other people? **Gimmee a break**_,_ she thought viciously._

_Inner Sakura relished the anger, and gathered it close to her like a mother hen would her chicks. "Tell him to go jack off somewhere else; we have people to attend to – such as they are, I suppose," Inner Sakura added with uncertainty. Unbidden, Sakura looked at the others. She still couldn't accept that something had gone wrong; she wanted to believe they weren't really human, and she wasn't even sure that they had been in the first place, but... Her eyes shifted back to the bracelet and the dead limb. _

"_There's nothing left to attend," Sakura said. "But I will try." She started forward to one of the cages, but Sasuke's arm shot out and she bumped into it. It held steady, a warning against treading further. She stared at his straight arm, a tanned cloth encasing the limb that swirled upward into his shirt. He wore a clean and simple getup of a shirt and forest-green trousers held up by a looping belt. She could not see weapons hidden anywhere on his body, but she wasn't the best at detecting them, and she was sure that there was no weapon she could find as advanced and sophisticated as Sasuke in the sum of his skills, physical fitness, experience and sharingan. _

"_There's nothing left," he said blankly, any expression on his face cast in shadow._

"_How do you know?" she asked. "Are you responsible for their state?" _

_He looked at her, and she boldly stared back into his eyes, daring him to hypnotize her. If Ino's mind-control technique could not work on her so long ago because she had an extra personality, then he couldn't put her under (maybe; there weren't too many sharingan-users with whom to test this theory). But there was an emptiness in his eyes, just a blankness that held no emotion, recognition, need, desire, or acknowledgment; nary a flicker of life. Where had the driving, beautiful passion of his gone? When had he just… died? _

_He turned from her, stiffly dropping his arm and taking a step forward. "They should all just die." She saw his hand flicker, too fast for her eyes to follow, and then immediately heard the clunk of the metal hitting flesh and bounding from bone. A sudden squeal of pain, like a stuck pig, echoed through the cavern. Sakura followed the sound and saw green silk wriggling, and then a bloated face rising, blood leaking around the eyes and nose, as the creature thrashed and clawed at the protruding blade of a kunai buried in the base of its neck. _

_Sakura whirled back to face Sasuke. She could feel the muscles in her neck and face tighten, her heart rate quicken. His features appeared sharper in her vision as her pupils dilated. He stared back boldly with his sharingan, and she felt a jolt run through her entire body. She could feel the floor moving further away as his red eyes loomed closer in her sight, until her world was consumed with the comma-dotted red field that paralyzed, poisoned, strangled life away slowly—_

_Inner Sakura reared up and out and gave Sasuke's sharingan a mighty thump that resounded through his entire soul. _

_He wheeled backwards, human emotions fluttering in his eyes for the first time – shock, surprise, and even a hint of anger. They stood apart further now, each evaluating the other across the small distance. There was a stubborn tilt in Sasuke's chin that Sakura knew all too well. He wanted to know how she did it, but his pride prevented him from asking. She smiled smugly in return, hoarding the jewel of information to herself._

"_Score!" Inner Sakura cried, shaking her inner booty triumphantly. "Whoo hoo! Naruto can't stand against me! Sasuke can't stand against me! Behold the strongest female under the age of thirty in the Hidden Village of the Leaf! Who's da woman, eh, eh?"_

"_Sakura," he said, his voice as flat as she had been before puberty, "don't. If you have humanity, don't sacrifice it to this."_

"_Why would you care?" she shot back angrily. She fluidly moved into a protective stance. If she had to fight Sasuke to protect these people, so be it. It was her responsibility to heal, but in her old companion there was nothing that would be given willingly to cure. Naruto has said, some years ago, that Orochimaru was dead and Sasuke stayed away - not in shame, of course, but to fight his inner demons. _

_ It would appear that Sasuke lost.._

_He cocked his head thoughtfully to the side. "I **don't** care."_

"_Then why do you stop me?"_

_He blinked slowly, as if the reason had never before occurred to him. "Because I have nothing better to do?" _

_Sakura lunged at Sasuke, one fist poised in the air as she smoothly yanked her pack from her back with the other hand and tossed it safely to the side. He dodged her first strike without raising his own defense, and then blocked her second with a raised left arm. The force of her blow sent him skidding across the cavern floor, up on toes and leaning forward to preserve balance, arms swinging limp at his side. Again, human emotions flashed through his eyes – ah, yes, who would have expected puny little Sakura with the wide forehead and admittedly excellent chakra control, to have all the force and strength of a raging bull elephant? – and Sakura locked in on it with an intensity that would have shocked her had she been analyzing. She wanted to see those emotions. She wanted Sasuke to feel pain, anger, and surprise. She wanted to wrap the emotions around Sasuke's neck to wring some sense back into his head. _

_She wanted him to be human once more, to feel the passion of life. Like a black hole, he sucked up other people's lives and energy, and didn't, couldn't, let it out for himself. She would not have him do that to these creatures. _

_With as much strength as Sakura had, Sasuke was quicker, more agile, and he could predict her movements with the sharingan. Anyone else and Sakura would have simultaneously created a genjitsu to trap him, but Sasuke's sharingan would see through that. Sakura instead concentrated on creating a pattern with her movements. Sasuke smiled and folded his fingers together for a technique. _

_Up hopped Inner Sakura with a low thrust of her own that would have crushed Sasuke's arm were it not for the fact that a rather large stalagmite suddenly leapt in her way. _

_Shattered pieces of stone flew and, as she turned to face where she was sure Sasuke had gone, something hard and pointed slammed into the curve of her lumbar. The force of the blow sent Sakura headlong into one of the cages. The bars snapped, and she hit the opposite bars with a wave of pain that centered all her attention on the point of her back. Dazed, Sakura looked up in time to see a beast lunging at her, teeth snapping and strangled moans filling her hearing. _

_Inner Sakura took over, more resilient against the pain, but more uncoordinated and less graceful that Sakura. Sakura watched from afar the creature that snatched her head between two massive paws and slammed it against the floor. Rather than jabbing at the joints, Inner Sakura jerked a kunai from her pouch and plunged it into the bare, soft abdomen. _

_Features that were already distorted twisted even more; eyes widened and tongue lolled, then a high-pitched keen from its ragged throat filled the air. It was a tortured, garbled voice, one that had been abused by too much screaming. In the rattle of dying sounds it created as it flipped over, limbs jerking sporadically and thick blood with a pungent odor gushing from the ragged tear, Sakura thought she heard a human cry of, "Bless you." _

_She took over, ignoring the shooting pain that lanced from back to heel. She wanted to cry in disbelief as Mistress Death claimed the creature, and its features became slack. She forced her gaze away so she wouldn't have to bear witness. The sounds of her headlong smash into the cage and the dying beast's cries had upset the other creatures. They cried out in their own voices, garbled sounds that may have been pitiful attempts of trying to speak a language they no longer understood. _

_Beyond the ruins of the cage she stood in, two figures grappled silently, nearly equal in strength and speed, prophecy versus chaos, sharingan versus animal. Sakura painfully stood, suddenly aware of more than just her back. Her shoulders, and her face, and her hands ached – a blur of fur and snarling teeth launched from the darkness at the wrestling figures. One ducked, and the blur struck the other full on._

_Kiba straightened with some effort and glared as Sasuke rolled under Akamaru and slipped away like oil on water. Akamaru retreated to his master's side as Sasuke leapt to the top of one of the cages, one leg tucked beneath him and arms hanging at his sides as he glanced from Sakura to Kiba. _

"_Fine then," Sasuke said, his voice carrying above the restless pacing and screaming of the captives, "waste your humanity on those who cannot maintain their own." He disappeared in a typical cloud of smoke-like chakra. _

_Sakura limped over to Kiba, who dropped to one knee and clenched Akamaru's fur in white-knuckled fists. Ever practical, Sakura assessed him as she approached. Kiba's shoulders were heaving from gasps of air; unordinary for someone with his level of physical fitness even given the brief struggle against Sasuke. The right side of his shirt was drenched with blood, and it looked to have made a fair bit of progress on his trousers as well. He had been bleeding for some time then. _

_Without saying a word, Sakura turned her path to her pack and snatched it up by its straps. Since Kiba was bowed over Akamaru, she kept a wary eye on their surroundings as she hurried closer. Sasuke couldn't be the only guard in the caves, although he may just be the best fighter. _

"_How bad is it?" she asked as she crouched at Kiba's side, lifting his shirt and peering at the wound. The light was too poor to get an accurate idea, but –_

"_Poison." Kiba lifted his head and tilted it backwards, opening his mouth and drawing in great breaths of air. "That one stuff that was forbidden by every ninja in the country? The stuff that makes your lungs melt?" _

_Sakura's arm plunged into her bag, fingers searching desperately for her Schedule drugs and needles. "Are you sure it's the Wilting Bane?"_

"_I smell it. I reek of it, in fact," Kiba added with a wrinkled nose. "It's coursing through my blood and I can't escape that." _

_Sakura's trembling fingers finally emerged with her kit. It was a slimy poison that had always escaped her comprehension. When she couldn't extract it without ripping someone's lung tissues out as well, she had instead looked into creating an antidote. She hadn't, but someone else did, and it was to that she retreated. There was a cord hanging around her neck with the keys, usually kept neatly tucked in her bra. She managed to find the right key the first time, jammed it into the lock, and flipped the lid open. She was already reaching for the antidote; it was used rarely – only twice since it was developed. She grabbed the vial from its spot and lifted it from the kit into the faint light. Right time, right patient, right dose, and right route. All vital in decreasing medicinal mistakes that could be life threatening._

_All, she knew with a sudden jar to her thoughts, meant nothing with the **wrong medicine. **_

_She knew where what every medicine in the kit was, knew where each vial was located, the strengths, side effects, recommended uses, and recommended dosages of the vials' contents. She had painstakingly memorized every difference with the vials; weight, color, odor, texture, so she would never mistakenly use the wrong one - she could identify what she was using even when she couldn't see. Even common medicines not located in her kit she knew in the same thorough manner._

_With a heart sinking past the stone layers of the cave to the molten middle of the planet, Sakura knew the vial that held Kiba's hope was filled with normal saline solution. _

_Sakura had the sense of mind to place her kit down gently, rather than dropping it in shock and haste. She uncapped a needle, drew in 20 cc's of air, and then stuck the needle into the vial. She pushed the plunger, then drew back solution. Out came the needle; she unscrewed the tip and tossed it into the darkness, not caring about proper procedure of needle disposal. She pooled the needle's contents into a cupped palm and raised it to her lips for a taste. The creature's blood was smeared in her hands, but she ignored the stomach-curdling flavor in favor of the contents. _

_Her worst fear was confirmed; it wasn't the antidote. _

_The needle dropped from her shocked hands, and Kiba looked up in time to see her yank open the kit's lid and rapidly scan the contents, fingers frantically running over everything, lips moving silently to list the extent of tampering. _

_SuperBoostas missing. _

_Wrong colors for her opioid analgesics. _

_Four different vials had wrong amounts, she was sure of it. _

_Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. _

_Sakura dropped the kit to the floor and looked into Kiba's eyes. "I'm so sorry," she whispered in horror, struggling not to cry, not to wail in shame for what she had done. If it would do any good, Sakura would have willingly beaten her head against the thickest stalagmite she could find. She had checked all the supplies she signed out from the med room, but she hadn't checked her own personal supplies. She had assumed they were the same since she refilled from her last mission; they were hers to use, not anyone else's, so they **shouldn't **have changed. They were **hers ** to protect and guard, and she had failed miserably at the price of someone's life and trust. _

_She should have double-checked! Triple-checked! _

_Sakura drew in a ragged breath, feeling a sob edge its way close. There had been missions when she couldn't move from fright, but all those times seemed like nothing as it took more than courage to look Kiba in the eye. "I am so sorry, Kiba. I don't have the antidote. I failed you." _

_He closed his eyes at that and slouched forward, then opened his eyes as he straightened, finding renewed strength from some well deep within. Sakura flinched, expecting disappointment, anger, accusation, anything in his eyes that justified her tempest of guilt._

_There was a tender resignation in his expression as he managed to free one hand from Akamaru and reach out to Sakura. Bloody fingers brushed against her forehead as he pushed some stray hairs from her skin. He leaned forward and touched his forehead to hers. "Is it your fault?"_

"_I should have checked! It was my responsibility as med-nin and—"_

"_Shhh. Shhh." Kiba pressed his hand over her mouth, and then planted a chaste kiss on the tip of her nose. "If you didn't deliberately remove it from your kit, then I fail to see how it's your fault." _

_She waited until he had dropped his hand. "You would tear into any other med-nin stupid enough not to double-check!" _

_Since the poison flowing rampant through his bloodstream was liquidizing the delicate tissue of his lungs, Kiba must have been in pain. Although more painful, ripping his lungs out would be a death more kind. The look he gave her nonetheless had the steel and strength of an advanced Jounin with a reckless spirit easily matching Naruto in sheer, undiluted pigheaded stubbornness. "Sakura, I **know **you aren't foolish enough to be as careless with your supplies as a wet-behind-the-ears med-nin newly graduated and nervous enough to piss himself if Akamaru growled." _

"_But **I **was careless!"_

"_Sakura" Kiba still had the strength to grab her by the shoulders and give her a vicious shake. Maybe it would rattle sense into her brain. "**You don't fuck up like that**!"_

"_I did!"_

"_**You don't**!" _

"_But—" She was crying against the shakes, her teeth rattling and her sobs hitching. "I've killed you! I- I didn't do it properly and I killed you! You're going to die because of me!" _

_Somewhere he stopped shaking her and just hugged her tight, trying to protect her against her assailing fears and guilt. Hands occupied, senses blocked, and off-balance all because he insisted on comforting her, he exposed his back and wounds to potential enemy attack._

_Sakura felt the hammering of his heart with his heaving chest pressed up against her own. She felt the tremor of weakness in his arms as he grasped her tightly, refusing to release her to whatever punishment she could devise for herself. "Do not fall apart on me, Sakura." She felt the ebb of her emotions pushed back with his passion; not reduced or diminished, but instead cauterized free and placed somewhere that she would be able to return to when the time was right. "Gina and Ochi are missing, I had to send the signal." He was whispering in her ear between the struggling gasps and heaves, his nimble fingers kneading the bruised flesh of her back, pressing against pressure points and poking chakra lines to ease tension and stress. "I don't know where the enemy is; I was attacked from the back by a single person. It was a suicide attack on his part, but he won in the end by the poison on his blade. No one else is around! Caged creatures, bottles and implements and graphs stored in a room. Gas being released—"_

_That got her attention. "What? **Gas**?"_

"_I smell it. It's faint yet, not strong enough to affect us. _You'll _ be able to smell it then, when it does. Give it time to reach us, but I know it's already permeated the way out."_

"_What sort of gas?" _

"_Dunno the name of it. Can't remember it. I recognize the smell from another mission a few years ago. It drove the Chuunin I led crazy from hallucinations and paranoia. I caught a whiff of it, just enough to get some temporary effects, and it's not a pleasant gas." He stood up, pulling her with him but still kept his arms around her. "One Chuunin thought his right hand was out to get him, so he hacked it off with a kunai. Apparently that wasn't enough, because he killed himself when he tried to dig his eyes out." _

_She glared at him, seeing absolutely no reason for being told such gruesome details. He gave her his fang-filled grin, complete with a flash of Kiba-arrogance that spoke, 'yes, as a matter of fact I _am_ as good as I think I am.' He tugged her to the back of the long cavern, past the cages with their restless, crying occupants, the stalagmites, and the faint green glow. "We keep moving away from the scent. Maybe there's a way out here." They paused only long enough for Sakura to quickly make a bandage from Kiba's shirt for his wound – a deep gash across his ribcage that parted both skin and muscle._

"_What sort of effects did you feel from the gas?" Sakura asked as she worked, trying to take her mind off of how useless it was in the end. _

_Kiba shuddered and muttered something about how he would never look at cupcakes in the same manner again. "Fear the rabid confections," he told her solemnly. "You think eating a cake isn't so bad, until the cake has tried to eat you back." Then he grinned as if he had made up the story on the spot, except she never could recall when he ate sweets after that mission._

_They continued on in silence. Kiba stared at the creatures in the cages, shaking his head in wonder and dismay._

"_How did they manage to do this?" he asked Sakura as they passed the last. _

"_I don't know. But if they use that gas and that poison and Sasuke, I shudder to think what else they may have." _

_Kiba stumbled, and she grabbed him by his belt. "Sasuke?" he asked, a soft hiss in his voice as pain radiated down Sakura's back and legs, but she paid no heed because at least she could continue to stand and walk. _

"_You mean you have no idea who it was you grappled with earlier?" _

"_Oh, I knew that was Sasuke, all right, but _this _isn't something that **Sasuke **would do." _

"_And running off to Orochimaru in a bucket was? Please, Kiba." He didn't have anything to say to that. With Akamaru trailing quietly at her heels, Sakura hoisted Kiba on her back._

"_In the great grand scheme of things," Kiba said conversationally, his head resting on her shoulder, "there seems to be something perverse about this." She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. They had given up being wary of enemies, so Sakura depended solely upon Akamaru for warning. "Not that I'm a chauvinist pig or anything like that, but it doesn't feel right to be carried by the girl."_

"_The **girl**," Sakura muttered through clenched teeth, "has been the winner of the Konoha arm-wrestling contest for the past seven years." _

"_Pshaw! By default only!"_

"_Huh. Like you or anyone else have even bothered to challenge me in the last four years." Sakura couldn't help but silently admire Kiba's bravado, the way he put on a valiant front to the pain and the fear and the crouching closeness of his own death. In his own way, he was trying to help _her _ along. The dead are gone forever, but the living must carry on in their stead. She needed the help more than he, and they both knew it. _

_They continued through the cavern, creeping along the rough walls until they chanced upon a little door that nearly blended into the rock. It was Kiba who noticed. _

"_Smells of cleaning supplies," he commented with a pointed finger. She yanked the door open to see it crowded with janitor supplies. She kicked out the brooms and pans, and then pulled Kiba and Akamaru inside of it. They made small talk as Sakura stuffed stale cleaning rags into the cracks in the door jam. She finally settled back on her heels and looked across the small space to Kiba. "What do we do now?" _

"_Better run." The closet couldn't afford them anything more than a few gasps of air free of any gas, and Kiba huddled against the corner. Blood seeped slowly through his fingers where he had them pressed against the bandage. It didn't afford anything, not even comfort; except she told him he looked fine without his shirt and he had wagged his eyebrows suggestively, saying, Don't you remember those old games where a couple would be left in a closet to do anything they wanted to ten minutes? Eh? Eh? Good times, they were. Let's recreate some of them!_

"_I won't run." Sakura looked him resolutely in the eye, Akamaru growling lowly and expressing his own opinion at abandoning his master. Kiba reached out and touched Akamaru's head, and the dog fell silent. His expression was one of tender love as he ran his fingers through Akamaru's fur and Sakura's heart tore to bear witness. "I won't leave you here in your last moments." _

_Kiba smiled, his face lighting up with gratefulness. "I'm glad; I never wanted to die alone." It might take less than twenty minutes before his lungs finally liquidized; he would asphyxiate before that happened, passing out when the oxygen saturation in his blood dropped too low, and only then would he die. By then, maybe the gas that permeated the tunnels would have dissipated enough that she and Akamaru would make it through to carry his name to the monument. _

"_Have you-" she hesitated; she didn't know how she could ask him if there was anything he would like to talk about before he died, any messages she could take to anyone, but this seemed too final. She was no stranger to Mistress Death, but Sakura, typical of the female sex, could be green with envy toward her own, and Death was no exception. She squeaked in dismay as Kiba moved suddenly from his corner to where she sat. He dropped at her right side and snuggled close, reminiscent of how she had done just so earlier as they awaited the rest of their team. _

"_Mmm." She could feel the cool clamminess of his skin as he slipped his left arm around the back of her head and pressed his bloody hand against her cheek to turn her face toward him. He had already lost too much blood to retain warmth, and his touch seemed to draw upon her warmth, her life, as if it was the only way he could still cling to this side of eternity. Kiba buried his face in the crook of her neck and his right hand tightly grasped her wrist. Sakura didn't know what to read in his body language; everything about it cried of intimacy of a level beyond sex, beyond limitations of the flesh. The souls that dwelled beneath the surface of their skin were rising up and entwining with one another to form a tenuous bond._

_Kiba lifted his hand from her cheek, swept her hair back, and planted a dry kiss where the neck met shoulder. "You reek," he began, his voice husky with pain as he lifted her wrist up, "of pheromones." He licked the inside of her wrist, and the hot wetness was utterly foreign to to her. "I love a woman's scent," he said lightly. His words were difficult to understand through his labored breathing, and she could hear the gurgling liquid at the edge of his voice, sloshing in his chest cavity. "Ah yes, I also do love a man's scent, but there is something special about a woman's. Hers is one that is more alive," he pressed his lips against her shoulder, and it was oddly comforting like a hug, except with lips instead of arms, "more arousing." He lifted his head and a puff of air brushed against the shell of her ear. "It evokes things in me I consider animalistic; a lust too feral to belong to a wild young man." He licked her wrist again. "And yours is exotic like Gina's, although not as strong. You are subtle and soft, working your way around the senses and burrowing into the mind before it has the chance to erect defenses. When it wraps itself around me, it makes the pain more bearable. It's like a spot of sunshine in a winter storm that freezes my flesh."_

_He dropped her wrist, and then wrapped himself further around Sakura, pulling her closer onto his lap, both arms circling her shoulders and his face pressed into the back of her shoulder. The position of her body sent a lancing pain through her leg and a numbness that started from the iliac spine and spread downwards to the back of her heel, but she would not complain. Kiba needed companionship, and she needed closure, and they converged together for a single moment as delicate as the scent of cinnamon in an autumn breeze. Each was a comfort and a refuge for others. She was there for Kiba's last moments, and he was there to help her transition beyond. _

"_I," said Kiba softly, his voice muffled, "have never regretted anything in life. Except," a flash of his old humor appeared in his voice, "never getting the chance to tell you how much I liked your breasts." She could feel her face turn beet-red, could feel his leer against her back. "A pretty pair, your girls. Mind if I touch?" She saw his fingers wag suggestively._

"_Absolutely not!" she declared hotly._

"_Oh, I get it. Look, but don't touch. Right. Not what you said last time."_

_She felt a flash of guilt. "Well. If you _really _ want to, I suppose. I never, you know, said anything that time, anyway." She mentally blew a raspberry at Mistress Death; nyah nyah, Kiba is dying with his boots on and his hands where they shouldn't! _

_Kiba stirred against her back, and straightened enough to prop his chin on her shoulder. He pressed his right hand against the hollow of her throat where she could feel her carotid pulsating. "Your pheromones always spike when I say something embarrassing," he whispered in perverse delight. "I shall miss that." His hand trailed down her chest, the inside of his wrist brushing against her nipple as he ran his fingers over her sternum, her abdomen, and then rested on the inside aspect of her thigh. "You can almost block out death's stench," he said softly. His hand stayed, and he remained as he was, chin on shoulder, his other arm wrapped around her, until his life bubbled away. _

oOoOo

Sakura lay upon the ground, staring up at the pristine white ceiling. Her head was pillowed in Kakashi's lap, his hands massaging her scalp. Under any other circumstance, Sakura would be purring and arching under the touch like an overindulged cat, but she was too busy digging through the cotton that covered her brain. The cotton kept coming back and covering everything, but she was making the valiant attempt.

"What on earth is she doing on the floor?" someone demanded from somewhere. Sakura might have heard Tsunade reply curtly, but she ignored that. Here, she was safe. Someone else was watching out for her, so she could afford to struggle through the cotton. She had to present a case to the board, so best to do that with as clear a mind as possible.

Memories flashed through her eyes. They wove themselves into events taking place in present time. What was real, and what was fake? She was used to having voices in her head; used to arguing with them and even losing. She could smell, hear, taste and feel everything. How could it not be real? Were her memories of the past wrong? She had felt Kiba die, had had to leave him behind, but she still felt him near. It somehow cheapened the worth of his memory and their friendship to dismiss this feeling as a fake, as a projected hallucination of a drugged mind.

But the more she thought back, the more something was off.

Kiba, she realized just then, never lied. He hadn't put on a brave front or masqueraded his dying feelings. He had met Mistress Death with arms wide open, as brash and as aggressive as ever before. There had been no bravado; only an intense sincerity that refused to be hindered or masked. Kiba had died just as he had lived, and only now did she realize that. Somehow, he was still poking her from where she had left that cold body in the closet.

Sakura turned her head in Kakashi's lap and glared up at him. His eyebrow went up in mild curiosity. Such calm, such serenity. She reached up and brushed the tips of her fingertips along the outline of his jaw. He was always steady, and she basked in it, marveling at how still brooks often ran deep. She had surrounded herself with chaos – she had chased Sasuke, then she allowed Naruto in her life, and along elbowed Kiba who loudly demanded attention. Somewhere along the line, Kakashi had become a refuge from all that, and now she submitted herself to the order.

_Would you haunt me from the grave? _ she wanted to ask him. Instead, it came out, "Why can't the dead stay dead?"

The look of understanding he gave her was so profound that her breath was stolen, probably sucked away by some distant black hole. Well, he needed it anyway, the heartless bastard. "I have found," Kakashi replied softly, "that there are more ways to live than just being alive."

"So a person can live even when dead?"

She felt a weight settle upon her chest, resting over her heart. She lifted a hand that felt limp and weak and touched the weight, tracing the contours of fingers and nails. "They live here." Kakashi's eye seemed to be pleading as he patted her. "And as long as they live here, then there is more of your life to share, making burdens easier to bear."

"What do you do when they're alive?"

"Appreciate them for all they're worth, because you lose that chance once they're gone."


	5. Chapter 5

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Bob made me do it.

* * *

Sakura stood before the council, leaning heavily to the side that didn't hurt. Her lower back and the side of her leg were inflamed and she wanted to wriggle from the agony, but she didn't allow any traces of it to bear upon her visage; it was her intent to remain strong, be forthright, and present as clear a case as possible. She looked from person to person, not allowing herself to dwell on any one member – not even her master, the Hokage Tsunade, who was seated at the far end with her arms crossed flat on the table and a look of dawning horror becoming increasingly clear. Kiba, with an insolent, carefree grace, was seated on the table between Tsunade and a council member whose name Sakura couldn't recall. He slouched at the shoulders and swung his feet free, watching her keenly.

Shizune stood at her weak side in fear that Sakura would collapse again. Kakashi stood at her other side, Akamaru between them and pressed up against Sakura as the dog regarded the council with barely-disguised contempt and malice. Most of the council had looked annoyed and bored when they filtered in and seated themselves at the long table on the dais of the room. One had spoken against Kakashi's presence, saying that this was a matter for medical ninjas and that Kakashi was not qualified.

Sakura had quelled the urge to ask that particular council member when was the last time he had been on the field with a team. Most of the med-nins had retired when their team use was phased out five years before Sakura became a Genin, and while they readily agreed to be apart of a board to oversee the new wave of med-nins that Tsunade demanded, none had returned to fieldwork.

Kakashi had merely looked at the member, an awkward silence lengthening until the member seemed to wilt beneath the heavy-lidded stare. Kakashi then told the person, in a voice that would broach no argument (and, Sakura noticed, to which both Tsunade and Kiba nodded their approval), that although Sakura's message was the business of the council, _he_ was concerned with Sakura. The two were part and parcel, so they were likely as not stuck with Kakashi as well until Sakura could be whisked away and tucked into a bed for badly-needed rest and relaxation.

"If she needs it that badly," someone else muttered, "then she ought not to be here."

Sakura had leveled a dirty look upon that unfortunate council member. "Missing and/or tempered medications is a serious matter, one that means life and death. I have already lost a teammate and a dear friend; I don't want anyone else to know that loss, for my duty is preserve life. I admit that it was my fault and I accept full responsibility for my carelessness and neglect in checking my personal supplies — mine, which no one, not even Tsunade-sama herself, had access — but it shouldn't have happened. That does not discount there is a serious problem afoot. These supplies shouldn't even be missing. One or two supplies, perhaps, can be attested to human erring from carelessness or not paying full attention. However, the extensiveness of what I found suggests it to be deliberate."

Since that seemed as prudent an opening explanation that Sakura could give, she had removed the paper from where it was tucked in her sling, unfolded it, and then read aloud. She glanced up now and then, her eyes moving passively from face to face, gauging reactions to the presentation. Only Tsunade looked deeply worried; others were thoughtful, a few were angry, and some who still looked nothing more than bored.

"Selfish bastards," Akamaru said in Inner Sakura's voice. Sakura stumbled over her reading, cast a glare upon the mutant dog, and then resumed. One of the bored-looking members seemed to sit up a little straighter then. "Look at them," Akamaru continued scornfully, "uncaring, unresponsive. Too long they've been from the field, and they do not realize the depths of their ignorance. Probably can't even recognize what most of the medications are."

Sakura stuttered to a halt once more, and bit her bottom lip in concern. Was Akamaru right? Should she explain what the medications were? Would it have a better impact if they realized that schedule II and schedule III were being tampered with, that someone was running amuck with highly addictive, highly volatile drugs?

Kiba leaned forward. "Sakura," he said softly, "if it isn't broken, don't fix it. Just continue with what you're doing, or someone will take notice." With that said, he looked at the council member who had been bored, but was now regarding Sakura with narrowed eyes and pursed lips, fingers tapping impatiently against the wooden desk. Sakura dropped her gaze back onto the paper, and resumed once she had found her place.

When she finished, she gently folded the paper into threes and handed it over to Shizune, who crossed the room and handed it to the Hokage. She returned to Sakura's side, and they waited for any response that would be coming. Kiba was gone, having jumped from the table and disappeared underneath with a cheeky grin – probably to look up Tsunade's skirts. Lucky for him that he was dead; Sakura shuddered to think what would happen if Tsunade were ever to catch him.

Sakura found her interest drawn to the council member Kiba had watched. She had seen the woman before; her white-blonde hair was drawn back into a harsh bun, the planes of her face very pointed and her cheeks gaunt. She was wrapped deeply in several layers of impeccable clothing, a single ring adorning her index finger. She now leaned back in her chair, regarding Sakura with an expression that Sakura could not understand, try as she might against the heavy fog that was settling upon her mind once more. There was a reason why she hadn't taken her morphine yet.

A few members asked questions, mostly of a possible timeline pertaining to when the drugs had gone missing, how long could it be before anyone beside Sakura would have noticed, the possibility of this going on for a longer versus shorter amount of time, and who had access to them.

"The community in part does," Sakura explained, glancing at Tsunade for guidance. "There are some missions that demand a smaller force of one or two ninjas, and a med-nin doesn't typically attend any team fewer than three ninjas _and _there is medium risk for serious injury. Most ninjas can come and fetch simple first aid kits, some medicines for pain and bleeding, and antibiotics. Some missions require more than just that, but everyone is expected to know what may be needed. They have the trust and the responsibility to keep track of the supplies." Sakura stopped as she noticed a small child with unruly, thick brown hair toddle into the room.

"We," said Tsunade, seeing Sakura's pause as a chance to leap in with her own information, "have a ledger that ninjas are required sign with their names, ranks, and list of medical supplies."

"I hadn't checked that," Sakura admitted as the child wandered across the room toward her. She glanced at the members, but no one had noticed. The child had a finger pressed against the corner of his mouth as he peered long and hard at the people seated before him. Since Sakura didn't seem to be paying any attention to them, the council started asking Tsunade questions concerning storage of the drugs, what was available to ninjas, and how the supplies were accurately tracked. Sakura glanced sideways at Kakashi, who watched everything with a bored expression, and Shizune, who was listening to Tsunade and nodding her head as the Hokage answered.

"Haruna-kun," said the blonde council member whose interest in Sakura hadn't waned once it perked, "what brought this search about? Under what circumstances would you have known to search for these missing medicines?"

Sakura glanced from the child to Tsunade. She had given her report to the Hokage, but whether the report was classified or not was up to the other woman to decide. Seeing Sakura's questioning expression, Tsunade nodded her head sharply. The other council members fell silent. "I was on a hostage-rescue mission with Inuzuka Kiba's team," Sakura began. "I shan't tell you how or where it went wrong, but Kiba was poisoned with the Wilting Bane." There were gasps from some of the council members, while others merely looked puzzled. "For those of you who do not recognize it, the poison is a toxin that specifically targets alveolar tissue, breaking the cells into a, a sludge would be the best comparison."

The woman frowned as Sakura struggled to remember her name. "His lungs melted."

"Yes." _And I held onto him to the very last,_ she thought as she felt her gaze drawn to the child who still faced away.

"You should have had the antidote."

Sakura winced even though there was no reprimand in the woman's voice; instead, only an impartial coolness colored the tone. "Yes, ma'am. I should have had a ten-dose vial in my supplies. It had been there originally when I restocked my supplies after the mission I did before this recent one. However, I hadn't checked them before I left, and I failed my team." _I killed Kiba, as much as that poison did._

This renewed the questions the members had for Tsunade, and she waved them quiet to allow for only one at a time. Sakura went back to studying the child.

"Do you still have your kit?" the woman asked. Sakura's eyes flickered over to her.

"No. It was left behind at the mission site due to the unexpected circumstances." The woman sat back into her chair, her lips pressed together disapprovingly. A med-nin did not ordinarily leave kits behind.

It had not been an ordinary situation Sakura had escaped, even by her rather twisted current sense of normality.

The child wandered sideways to Sakura. She couldn't see the child's face, and couldn't really guess at the shuffled sex or age, not when the light cast oddly and the child was always just angled away, no matter how close Sakura was approached. When the child stood within reach, Akamaru snarled. "Stay back!" Sakura dropped her hand upon Akamaru's head, trying to calm his rising hackles.

The child stayed turn from them, but spoke in a sotto voice that had no distinct gender. "Looking at them, do you sometimes think that it's really worth the trouble to grow up?" The child turned then, and Sakura was instantly aware of who she faced.

"Oh, Kiba!" The child grinned wildly, his fangs quite prominent because of their proportion to his relative size. Not that he hadn't had a big mouth back then, if she correctly recalled the Terror of All Things Girly #4. Sakura squashed down the mourning that was suddenly coupled with a maternal instinct to reach out and cuddle Kiba, to protect him against the miserable fate that had stolen his desire, energy, ambitions, and life. The child approached Sakura and grabbed her hand. She felt his grip smear, but ignored it as she traced his face with her eyes. The innocence she had expected wasn't there, since a sense of mischievousness greatly masked such.

"Sakura!" the boy cried. "Did you know that you fail?" Then he grinned, and a fat, white maggot wriggled its way from his mouth. Sakura's hand shook as she pinched the maggot between her fingers and pulled it free. Kiba giggled, and she realized that his skin was bubbling. When she reached out to smooth the bubbles away, white maggots burst out of his skin. He fell backwards from her with a gasp, arms failing and giggles becoming gurgles of pain.

"No!" Sakura fell to her knees and slapped at the maggots. The hand Kiba grasped was bloody, and maggots clung to her own flesh, like greedy leeches. "Stop! Stop!" Someone was calling her name and hands were grasping at her, but Kiba was convulsing, as if something gigantic was trying to worm its way from his body. Someone grabbed her arm, but she threw that person over her head without a second thought. Akamaru was screaming that she should have used pesticide, because this doesn't happen when things are clean. Someone else was laughing in the background, great hysterical laughs that the sound of which sent chills coursing through her.

The maggots clung to her own skin and began to burrow. Fire ran through her body the moment they broke through the protective barrier. She slapped at them, rubbing and scratching and pinching the horrible insects to protect herself. Someone tried to pin down her arm, but Sakura easily grabbed the person and threw him or her across the room to join with the other. They didn't see her struggles – what would they know about her pains?

The child-Kiba was at her knees, and she saw his body disintegrate, flesh drying up, bones crumbling. She scooped up the body, clutching it close to her breast. Amongst the laughter she chanted his name. Something warm and hard pressed against her body. She caught Kakashi's scent, and it was the only thing that prevented her from throwing him off. He made indistinguishable murmurs as he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pressed her face against his chest to still her cries. The laughter died, and the realization that _she _had been the one laughing sent a horrible sensation spiraling down her broken spine.

The tears started to fall. _Damn hallucinations! _But little child-Kiba felt so real in her arms; she could smell the decaying flesh, could feel the burn of the maggots, could see how quickly she was losing him. _The gas! Damn that gas! _ It should have been gone from her system by now, and she knew she wasn't mad.

How could this be _not_ real? How could she be denied certainty, stability, the sense of knowing where to find the truth?

"Oh, Kiba!"

oOoOoOo

_Sakura felt the last bit of chakra disappear, like a spark of fire smothered with a thumb. She pressed her hands over his and rocked gently, mourning silently in the few moments of stillness. She had never noticed the force of his personality until now, when it no longer filled the closet or seeped into her pores like an inescapable scent. She felt a heavy weight press against her thigh, and didn't need to look to know Akamaru had retreated to her for comfort. _

_When her hand brushed against Akamaru's rough fur, she started to sob. Three minutes was all the time she allowed herself before resolutely rubbing at her runny nose and blurry eyes. She wiggled her way out of Kiba's stiffening grasp, and then planted a kiss on his cold nose. The body would have to stay; she didn't know when anyone would be back to grab it for a proper disposal, if at all. _

_Unsure of how to speak to Akamaru, she stood by the door and patted her thigh. Akamaru was instantly on his feet, tail and nose poised as he stared intently at the door. "Ready?" she asked. Akamaru stared resolutely at the door; she supposed that was the best response she would ever get. Pain radiated from her coccyx across her buttock and down the lateral side of her thigh. She could feel the pain throbbing like a living poison that wrapped its way around her knee to her ankle. She closed her eyes and drew in deep breaths, trying to distance herself from the pain. The less focus it held, the more she could concentrate on external stimuli. Opening her eyes once more, Sakura squared her shoulders, yanked the door open, and dashed out into the murky darkness. She ran down the length of the cavern, Akamaru close at her heels. Her steps echoed, and she caught sight of movement. Shadows darted, and she froze with her hands in fists. _

"_Those are our shadows," Inner Sakura said, a desperate note in her voice, "we must move quickly. Let me watch for dangers." Sakura managed to relax her left hand, but her right hand tightened. With a nudge from Akamaru, she fled._

_When she hurried through the cavern that held the cages of creatures, she stumbled in horror. Most of them were dead, having torn themselves apart, limb from limb, driven mad by the tainted air. Her vision swam, and Sakura watched as the bodies mutated, flesh twisting and bones rearranging, until they had become patchwork humans, one being the sum of other different wholes. Feeling her stomach heave, Sakura pounded across the cavern floor, weaving around the towers of stone reaching from the floor skyward. She heard the click of claws against stone, and she looked down at her side to see Akamaru hurrying along. Sakura's gaze returned to her pathway, and she skidded just before she entered the looming mouth. _

_Scrambling wildly backwards, she nearly lost an ankle as the great jaws closed, teeth grinding and gnashing. She thought she heard Akamaru squealing in pain beyond the teeth, where he had hurried on before she stopped. She glared at the mouth that was essentially the entire corridor of the cavern. How clever to have it disguised. Cracking her knuckles, Sakura punched a stalagmite through at its base, and then swung the stone column like a pike. She skewered the mouth with it, and great gobs of black gel spilled from the wound. As the mouth opened to scream, Sakura dropped the stalagmite and slipped through the teeth. Her arm caught the edge of a tooth, but her skin was like steel and would not be ripped. _

_Sakura exploded forward and continued through the cavern. Images of her surroundings shattered into kaleidoscopes of meaningless jig-sawed pictures and sounds. She slammed through several stalagmites, shattering them upon impact, and staggered punch-drunkenly from each before resuming her reckless pace. _

_She burst from one set of shadows into a cavern pooled with soft light. By the time she reached the other side of the cavern, the pictures had rearranged themselves into meaning. Sakura skidded in the splattered blood and slipped. Her elbows banged harshly against the stone floor, but she lunged back to her feet in an instant. _

_Oh look - a finger! Someone might notice it missing. Sakura bent and picked it up, marveling at the length and shape, noting how it had been raggedly removed just below the second knuckle. She glanced around and spotted other body parts. At the point they had been removed, the flesh was unevenly serrated. There was a clothed arm. Inner Sakura was strangely silent, as if stunned at the scene; Sakura only felt a mild, detached curiosity that scared her more than her findings. Bloody bits of rent flesh; jagged shards of bone; splashes of coagulated blood. Eventually, she found what she was looking for, although she hadn't realized it until her eyes settled upon a decapitated head surrounded by loose, bloody clumps of hair. _

_Silently, Sakura reached down and grasped it by the few strands remaining, and lifted it eye-level. The bloated face, twisted from so much pain and anger, was barely recognizable. But when the eyes blinked and the mouth opened, words dropping out like raindrops from a rooftop, Sakura nearly dropped the head like a hot potato. "Sakura, why aren't you running?" Sakura stared silently, and the face frowned. "You must get the hell away from here before it's too late! Our names must be carried to the monument!" _

"_Y-yes." Sakura gulped, and then set the head upon the ground with a gentleness that a dead body couldn't appreciate. "Yes, Gina. I will." Shadows leapt from the corners and wrapped themselves around the head, cries of protest strangled off. Sakura stumbled away, her pace quickening as she found regained her center of balance. Flashes of gold whipped past her as she hurried on, like so many watchful eyes. Sakura felt the skin along her spine prickle as she felt predators surround her._

_Akamaru was long gone; Sakura couldn't think of the last time she saw the dog, but she hoped that he was able to fly beyond the trappings. When something large lurched into her pathway, Sakura leapt over it and was struck from behind. She tucked herself into a tight ball as she rolled from the impact, and then straightened out of it as her momentum slowed. A stalagmite blinked its slanted yellow eyes at her as it straightened with a grating groan of petrified bones being unbent. _

"_Silly Sakura," Sakura said softly to herself. "You shoulda watched out." Another stalagmite moved to her left, and she fell back into a protective stance. A sudden flash of movement in the corner of her vision had her whipping around on her leg; pain suddenly lanced through her hip and made the leg buckle beneath its lightening-quick blow. The stalagmite only missed smashing her head because of her sudden drop, but it retaliated rather quickly for being made of stone. _

_Sakura leapt to her feet and met blow with blow. The stone shattered, large chunks flying through the air to strike the other stalagmite. They staggered beneath the barrage of their fellow creature, screaming their protest and pain with deep baritones. Hand pressed against her lower back, fingers searching desperately for a pressure point that she knew was there but couldn't find, Sakura hurried away. She dodged other stalagmites that came to life, only twice smashing into them when they rose up in her way. _

"_Silly, silly Sakura," she ribbed herself, "you do not have time for this." The caverns twisted and she took turns as they branched off, always heading right, because right was the right way to go and left was crooked and narrow. Darkness surrounded her like a suffocating blanket, but she battered at it to push it from her way. Damn stuff; like cotton and fluff. Fluff that filled her brain. _

_She kept moving against the darkness, because her body was possessed by something other than her other self. Inner Sakura was gone, a mute being swallowed up by this complete lack of light. No guidance. Perhaps Inner Sakura had been her protector against the phantoms, a substantial being that chased away time-traveling ghosts and meaningless words that now encircled her round and round until they all fall down. Ashes. Ashes. Dust to dust. _

_Eventually, she just stopped breathing, because in the darkness there was nothing but phantom voices telling her to head for the light. There wasn't any light to head for, but she followed what she could, knocking against stone and rock, blindly reaching out for something that did not reach back. _

oOoOoOo

She was sitting in her bed, the covers at the end while the sheet was drawn up and bunched at her waist. She couldn't remember how she got here from the meeting, but it was her bed in her home. Something settled on the mattress beside her, and she turned to see that it was Kakashi rolling over to stretch out, one leg crossed over the other, a hand behind his head. He had taken his vest and top off somewhere, as well as his boots, but Sakura wasn't so much interested in what was below his knees as she was in what was above his waist. Sakura mentally cheered at the sight of Kakashi in a simple white wifebeater that hugged every curving muscle, his dog tags gleaming dully in the light.

"What are you doing?" Sakura demanded, half delighted at sharing her bed with a fine picture of masculinity, and half horrified at sharing her bed with a, well, fine picture of masculinity. She briefly wondered how she managed to get from her clothes into her pajamas with her face scrubbed clean and hair pulled back for the night. She didn't know quite what she personally felt about it, but her body decided being tingly in naughty areas was a very appropriate response, yes indeed.

He opened the one eye that wasn't covered. "I hurt too much to go to my place, and you wouldn't want to sleep in your lumpy chair, now would you?"

No, she wouldn't, even bearing in mind that she shouldn't _have_ to sleep anywhere but her own bed.

Which seemed perfectly reasonable to Sakura. Not, of course, that she didn't mind Kakashi sleeping with her (all tingly naughty parts aside), but she was a ninja; there were more than a few people she had to bed down with on the road to conserve heat, and then there was that whole unexpected fiasco in the whorehouse with Kiba needing a " quick cover, you only gotta pretend, for crying out loud - quick screaming about your virtue being compromised 'cause you stopped smelling like a virgin three years ago anyway and besides, I have it on good know-how that that clumsy clod knew as much about pleasuring a woman as a rock does" against enemies searching suspicious rooms that, when she wasn't too embarrassed to recall, had been the most exhilarating experience she had ever had.

Thinking about it though, she felt her face turn red and cursed herself for even remembering when she had sworn she would forget. She turned her face from Kakashi, drew her knees up, and rested her chin upon them. Kakashi sat upright to give her a gentle backrub. "I suppose," he said in a sleepy voice, "I should give you something as payment for use of your pillow."

_Rub **me**_! _Rub **me**_! the tingly parts sang in delighted harmony. _Oh, hush up_, Sakura firmly told them.

"Hmmm." She giggled and wiggled her toes. "You're the first to ever do that. Usually I have to give the backrubs." Akamaru, for instance, always got a rub. It didn't matter where or what they were doing; there was always someone who could spare a pat or a scratch.

Sakura relaxed into his touch, strong fingers kneading tight flesh, until she felt a tenseness that had existed since the beginning of this entire fiasco just melt away, leaving her supple and soft like bread dough.

"I'm sorry." She startled to hear the soft words spoken, and forced herself not to tense up. "That was the first I heard of how Kiba died. It was not an easy way to die."

Sakura sighed. Kiba still didn't feel dead. In fact, if she could make a guess, the man was probably hiding beneath her bed, rooting Kakashi on in his massage. The pervert. See if she ever did anything nice for him again in a bordello. "When is there ever an easy way to die?"

"Actually," there was a hint of evil amusement in Kakashi's voice, "you _haven't_ heard about _that_, have you?"

Her interest piqued. "Heard about what?"

"There were these three young men, just recently graduated, who decided they would going to tour all the liquor factories in the country, see? In one of the factories they stood in the scaffolding, overlooking the vats of beer and the conveyer belts with all the bottles." Sakura made a face; she wasn't much of a fan of beer, preferring sake herself. Whoever the tasteless idiot who decided to import it became quite a rich tasteless idiot, appealing the mass of other, well, tasteless idiots. "One of the friends leaned too far over the railing, and somehow or another — I've never been able to glean how — he fell into one of the giant vats."

Kakashi was silent for a moment, his hands moving from her mid-back to her shoulders, pressing and rubbing against chakra points. _Low-er! Low-er! _chanted the tingly parts like an annoying cheerleading squad. Any moment now and they would break out pom-poms. "So?" Sakura asked as the rest of her gradually became aware of how close Kakashi was and started to chant in unison with the tingly parts, "What happened?"

"The manager, who had been with them at the time, shooed the two friends into a waiting room, explaining that he and the other workers would remove their friend promptly. When he came back some time later, he had a sad, drawn look on his face. 'I'm sorry,' he told the two young friends, 'your friend drowned.' The two men mourned their friend, and then one said, 'Do you suppose he suffered much?' 'Likely as not,' replied the manager with a small shrug. 'He managed to climb out twice to piss before diving back under.'"

"That — that's it? That's horrible!" Half-choking, half-laughing, Sakura snatched up a pillow and felt justified in thumping Kakashi with it.

He grabbed the pillow from her hands and tucked it behind his head as he laid back. "I imagine it was a rather great way to die."

"What? Drowning in enough alcohol to kill any brain cells off before the lack of oxygen got to you?"

Kakashi said nothing as he flipped onto his side. Sakura sighed and reached over to lamp at her bedside. Nibbling on her bottom lip, she leaned over the edge of the bed, scooped up the bedding, and peered into the dark depths. Nope; no Kiba. She pulled herself upright, turned off the lamp, and then snuggled under her bedcovers.

Kakashi wasn't a bad bedmate, all things considering.

He only stole the blankets twice.

And the tingly parts grumbled unhappily, _Ah, rats!_


	6. Chapter 6

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Bob made me do it.

* * *

_The darkness lingered on forever, and Sakura felt that she was caught in its web, never to be released. Her hands traced the stone, always moving, but her feet had stopped. She couldn't remember what light must look like, except it wouldn't be so, so, so completely lacking in color. It was, she tried to think, bright, and pretty, and warm. Yeah, that was it. _

_Her feet kept moving, toes knocking against walls of stone. They certainly didn't feel like walls of wood; wood was softer, more yielding. Stone shattered because it was so brittle. At least the ceiling did not come down on her head like another giant mouth. Perhaps they already had. Maybe the reason why she was trapped was because the darkness was swallowed her like some greedy beast with an unceasing appetite. Eventually, the pain in her back that radiated down her legs crippled her movements. When she no longer had the strength to drag her leg beneath, Sakura sank down to the ground, curled up in a ball, and hid her face. _

oOoOoOo

"_Sakura?" A hand gently caressed her bare upper arm, and she sleepily shrugged it off. "Sakura." The voice took on a hint of humor. "There are far more softer things in the world to sleep on than the rocky floor." _

"_I'm not sleeping," Sakura said into the crook of her elbow, "I'm dead." _

"_Yeah? I'm deader than you and you don't see _me _ sleeping on the floor." _

_Sakura uncurled herself carefully, looking up into a soft glow of light. Kiba crouched down beside her, his mouth twisted in a wry smile. "And you lost Akamaru." He shook his head. "How is it possible to lose one of the best tracking dogs this side of Konoha?"_

"_You're dead." _

"_Yes. I do seem to recall going through that whole process. Did you know that King Enma looks suspiciously like the Third? 'Tis true. Swear on my mother's grave." _

"_Last I heard, your mother was of excellent health. And if your dog is one of the **best**, then how'd he lose me?" _

_Kiba's face scrunched up and he wrinkled his nose as he thought. "Damn you women and your logic." Sakura reached out to touch him, the tips of her fingers following the line of his face. She felt a force like skin, but no warmth or detectable texture._

"_Why are you here?" _

_Kiba gave her a pointed look. "Why are **you**?"_

_She pouted. "No fair answering a question with a question." _

"_No time to be answering a question, really." Kiba firmly gripped her wrist and tugged her to a standing position. "You must keep moving. The gas permeates the air and you are getting deeper into the tunnel. By the time you are clear of your confusion, you will be so far lost in these tunnels that you'll die of dehydration or stale air before anyone finds you, if at all. Go the other way."_

"_This way?" Sakura stumbled off to her left._

"_Your other way." _

"_This way?" _

"_No. **This **way." In his usual brisk manner, Kiba grabbed her elbow and spun her in a different direction. She squeaked in dismay when she felt him grab what wasn't available to the public._

"_Wazza big idea?" she demanded, wrapping her arms over her chest._

_Kiba grinned unabashed. "Just making sure you're paying attention." She stumbled along, content to be led when she didn't know how to get anywhere herself, but certainly in the mood to gripe about how being dead changed nothing at all. Kiba emanated a soft light that really didn't penetrate the darkness. It was, however, easy for her to follow, and follow she did into the belly of the beast. Eventually, they passed the pilosphincter, and Kiba led her up the esophagus. _

"_Are you **sure **you're dead?"_

"_Of course. How else could I possibly lead you through this maze without bumping into walls?" Kiba asked._

"_It could just be a vivid hallucination, on my part." _

"_Nonsense."_

"_I imagine that's what my hallucination would say."_

_Kiba opened his mouth to refute, thought better about what she said, and then closed it. "Did I complain before about women and their logic?" _

"_Yes, you did. Although you are a very good hallucination, so you can stay and be hallucinated. I won't protest."_

_"Gee. Thanks. I guess." _

_Sakura stumbled over something, falling to her hands and knees and shredding the skin on the rough floor. She felt behind her and came upon something indiscernible in shape, but with sharp corners and jagged edges. It felt like a block of stone, and immediately the moving stalagmites that she had shattered came to her mind. She dropped the block abruptly and desperately scanned her lightless surroundings. More of them may be hidden in the dark, and she couldn't see them._

"_Sakura, we can't dilly-dally." _

_Kiba was with them. His soul should be winging its way to those great Dog Kennels in the sky, but the evil stalagmite monsters had captured it. Sakura stumbled away from him, knocking her elbow smartly against the solid side of the cavern. She felt her lower arm go numb and her fingers spasm, but she ignored it._

_Looking exasperated, Kiba crossed his arms and glared at Sakura. "Now what?" he asked in irritation._

"_You're Kiba."_

"_No, really? I hadn't noticed before."_

"_You're leading me to them!" Sakura found another large block of stone, oblong in shape, and she hefted it at Kiba. It passed through him, and the look of exasperation on his face became concern. "You're one of them! They can't have me! I won't let them! I – I have to get back to the monument. Gotta c-carry your name." Because his name was all she had left of him. The memories were only apparatuses of color and shapes in her mind, and memories weren't truly trusted. Memories could be shaped, changed, and created from nothing, because they were electrical and chemical signals in her brain, easily manipulated and created. Memories were just as potent as hallucinations, and maybe if she had nothing to do with either, she could be free._

_Kiba cursed the gas in the air colorfully, and then approached Sakura carefully, holding his hands up where she could see them. Sakura flinched and pressed herself against the wall as she started to hyperventilate, her chest aching from misery and confusion. Kiba smiled gently as he reached her side and crouched down. "You look like a bitch with her tail between her legs, roughly disciplined for something she hadn't done," he said not unkindly. Sakura cowered down, shielding her eyes from his soft glow and struggling to capture and sit on her whirling, jagged thoughts that were spiraling out of her control. _

_Her intelligence had always been her crowning glory. If she lost that, if she could no longer discern between what was real and what was illusion, then she could no longer be Sakura. She was reduced to nothing, only an it: nameless, featureless, nothing more than a rambling creature that wandered outside the cages when it should have belonged with the other misshapen monsters. Dead, dead, **it **ought to be dead, gutted by Sasuke's knife because **it **was merely an animal, and good humans put animals out of their shame and misery. _

_Sinking down beside the wall, mussing his hair in frustration, Kiba studied it and frowned thoughtfully. "Sakura?" he asked._

_**It **didn't answe as emotional walls collasped, leaving nothing but gut-wrenching sobs. _

"_Damn it. If I was still alive, I think I would be beating my head against the wall. I can't even drag you out of here." Kiba nibbled on the bottom of his bottom lip for a moment, eyes focused on a far-away object that only he could see past the darkness, past the walls, past eternity. The sobs became less violent, the tears dwindled, and slowly it relaxed tensed muscles. As if sensing the shift to a more calm state, the glowing man focused his eyes upon it, then slowly stood and approached. _

_It tensed suddenly, frightful and panicked. The glowing man stopped and stood still. Softly, he began to hum, and when it had become used to his voice, he began to speak indecipherable syllables. When it had relaxed once more, he took another step closer. The glowing man approached carefully, always allowing it time to become used to his increasing closeness and voice, until he was finally kneeling beside it and gently petting the pink hair, crooning softly. Once overwhelming and unfamiliar, the person was now a calming comfort. _

"_Sakura," he said softly._

_A name. Yes. Animals could have names; they could possess identities. It could submit its will to him, let him become to owner of its body. With a whimper, it tried to enclose itself around him, but he was unsubstantial; nothing more than a incorporeal being. Humph. At least this one __had a body and could feel. _

"_Sakura. What is my name?" _

_Kiba. His name was Kiba. Everyone knew that. The man was Kiba, and Kiba glowed very prettily. _

"_Say my name." _

_No. Kiba was Kiba - he was the glowing man. Everyone knew that. It had no reason to say his name._

"_Please." _

_No._

"_Please."_

_No!_

"_Please?" Then, with a toothy smirk, his hand, suddenly corporeal because it suited him, slid expertly through layers of protection, and squeezed_

_Something snapped. It was as if something had been burrowing through the thick layers of its mind, broken through whatever had been holding it back. It rose end on end, majestically like the phoenix borne from the flames. It rushed forward, sparking at the tongue, firing the muscles, and flaring from the fingertips._

"_KIBA! DAMN IT!" _

_Kiba rolled backwards with a laugh, dodging Sakura's mighty slap. "But you said I could meet the girls! You said so yourself! It was a shame to neglect one after meeting with the other. I was merely **renewing **my acquaintance!" _

"_That—! I was — that is…!" Sakura pushed herself upright, and tried to snag the single moment of clarity that she had grasped, when all the world made sense and she knew who she was and who Kiba was and, more specifically, what Kiba should **not **be doing in relation to her. Maybe it was all a clever trick by the stalagmites, or maybe not. She hadn't seen any genitalia on the stalagmites, so they may know nothing of reproduction. Whatever was happening, the urge to escape was clawing the pit of her stomach. She stared at Kiba as his mirth died and he studied her. She opened her mouth to speak but the words disappeared, stolen by some unknown monster. _

_Sakura whimpered and made a furtive gesture with one hand. Kiba nodded. "Right. We gotta get out of here before that happens again. Come on, Sakura, my sweet of the pale twin globes of, um, plump flesh that, uh, this sappy poetry bit is harder than I suspected." _

_Sakura glared at him nonetheless as she carefully stood up and followed after Kiba as he drifted down the tunnel, contemplating different euphemisms for breasts. _

_Dead or not, some things just never change._

oOoOoOo

Sakura awoke gradually, rising above the different stages of sleep with each passing minute, becoming aware first of herself and then of her surroundings, before she finally opened her eyes and looked around. Not truly comprehending, Sakura lifted her good arm above her head and stretched. Sleepiness slipped away, and awareness begot comprehension.

Looking around, Sakura saw sunlight streaming through her half-covered window. The bedding around her was rumpled; the blanket had been tossed back on the other side, the indent in the pillow the only sign that she had had company last night – completely platonic, of course, she hastily told herself, because while Kakashi may be chronically challenged and quite skilled at ignoring people, he was a gentleman.

Sort of.

At least, more of a gentleman than Kiba. Which, truth be told, wasn't all that hard to achieve.

_We need less gentlemen in our lives_, the no-longer-tingly parts complained.

Rising, Sakura clumsily dressed herself in an old pair of sweatpants and a tank top large enough to push her sling through the armhole, reasoning that she had every reason to be sloppy. There was only a dull ache in her back and leg, easily ignored as she used a hair band to push her hair from her field of vision, and then went to her kitchen in search of something to eat. Someone was seated at her kitchen table, quietly enjoying a steaming cup of tea.

"Oh." Sakura stopped up-short when she recognized the older woman from the medical council, white hair done up once more in a severe bun. The woman set her tea down and folded her hands over the tabletop, silent and patient. Sakura tried not to be obvious as she desperately scanned her surroundings for anyone – Kakashi, Kiba, even Akamaru – but knew with a sinking heart that she was alone with someone before whom she had visibly broken down. "May I help you?" Sakura finally asked timidly with a formal bow, awkwardly aware of her sloppy appearance and the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra.

The woman waved her hand, and then smiled a smile that lit up her face, but could do nothing for the coldness that lingered in her eyes. "Do sit down. There is no need to be so formal in your home this early in the morning. I have some tea prepared for you," the woman added with a nod to the teakettle resting upon Sakura's table.

Feeling self-conscious, Sakura seated herself and watched as the woman poured a cup of tea and pushed it across the table to her. "I also took the privilege of bringing you some chicken noodle soup." The woman gestured to the pot that sat simmering upon Sakura's kitchen stove.

"Ch-chicken noodle _soup_?"

"Yes. I've heard that it is quite good for feeding the soul as well as the body from some travelers who came through many years ago. Of course, I used ramen instead of noodles, but at least it has chicken in it."

"Oh." Sakura took a sip of the tea; it had a strong, spicy flavor to it that she instantly did not like, but drank anyway because the woman had taken the effort to bring it along for Sakura. It would have been rude to ignore or refuse the tea.

The woman shrewdly watched Sakura for a few moments, and then leaned forward. "I shan't linger upon empty words or polite nonsense, Haruna-kun. I came to speak to you about your findings two days ago."

"Two days?"

"Yes. You have been asleep that long."

"Oh. How long were you waiting for me?"

The woman waved her hand irritably. "No need to ask or to answer. Haruna-kun, you surely realize how detrimental it was for others to see you fall apart, laughing like a maniac, reacting violently towards others, and babbling nonsense of a child melting in your arms."

Sakura stared at her reflection in the teacup. It was shattered by the little waves created from shaky hands.

"It is very difficult to take your findings and report seriously when there is so much doubt regarding your current state of mind."

Sakura gulped her tea down to be rid of her shattered reflection, and then set the cup down with more force than it warranted. She stared numbly at the tabletop as the woman silently refilled the cup.

"Naturally, we shall look further into your findings to confirm them for ourselves, but we must look elsewhere because even your findings are doubtful."

Sakura's head snapped upright as her face flooded with sudden warmth. "What are you trying to say?"

The woman regarded Sakura silently, and then gestured to the tea. With a noise of annoyance, Sakura gulped it down. A line of pain was threading its way down her leg, starting from hip and curling around until it reached her heel, throbbing in time with her quickening heartbeat. "I am saying this," the woman said finally, "that there are those who believe you may have tampered with the files you searched through to support your claims."

"_What_? That's nonsense! My friend died and I will not have—"

"Not all believe that," the woman said coolly, her soft voice undercutting Sakura's protests. Sakura fell silent, lips quivering in outrage. "Your sanity may be questionable, but not your honesty." Stung, Sakura clasped her hands together under the table to control the violent tremor that had begun, trying to will it away. "These worries were brought to the Hokage-sama. It was also suggested that, due to how," she paused for a moment, as if searching for a polite-enough word, "fragile your mind is currently, you should see a specialist."

"You want to send me to a shrink," Sakura said bitterly.

"Yes. It is, of course, for your own good. You are becoming a risk to yourself and to others."

"I have harmed none." _The crushing blow - screams, betrayal, drowning in oh so much guilt when realization finally came, too late, too late - no no no nononononono- _As if sensing the chaotic rolling of Sakura's thoughts, the woman studied Sakura with piercing eyes.

"Not yet, no. But there is a chance that something terrible could happen, and we must avoid that."

Sakura traded one set of horrific thoughts for another set. "Do you realize how detrimental that could be for my career? Ninjas must have a strong psychological profile."

The woman gave her a cool glance as she stood up. "At this point, you don't even havea career." She walked over the stove, spooned the soup into a bowel, and then sat it and a pair of chopsticks beside Sakura. She crossed her arms over her stomach as she stepped back and looked down on Sakura. "Eat up. You'll need your strength for trials yet to come."

Without waiting for an answer, she departed from the kitchen. When the door softly clicked shut behind, Sakura lifted her head to the ceiling. Tears streaked down her face, leaving bright red trails on her skin. Trapped, with nothing left. Banned from her work, Sakura would no longer be trusted with the lives of other people, with the supplies that saved lives, or with the medicines that helped so many. Her knowledge and skills would be locked away inside her head, and she was left with nothing else in life. Gone; wasted; deplorable.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

"I should have died with all of you," Sakura told the ghosts that crowded her mind.


	7. Chapter 7

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Bob made me do it.

* * *

Sakura wandered that day when she could move freely without pain. It took several fairly large doses of her morphine to numb the pain in her back, but she drew a reluctant, crooked line as what she was willing to take to numb her soul.

Sakura picked up various knick-knacks, then set them down again when she realized she didn't know what she wanted or meant to do. She tried to dust, but she couldn't find anything suitable. She occupied her time and skills by watching the walls, trying to observe the rate of speed in which paint peels.

It was, she realized after the first three hours, a very _slow _rate.

Time, like one of Konohomarou's jumbo Infa-Stretch rubber bands, stretched into infinity. Seconds were like minutes; minutes like hours; hours like a moment stuck forever in time, endlessly looping one end into another until Sakura realized she was cornered like a wounded dog, trapped with her tail between her legs and no way out.

In Sakura's paint-peeling observation, she watched as the walls slowly disintegrated beneath the rising tide of time. Gone, they were, like so many other things. Mortality was a fragile existence, and all but Sakura were Time's unsuspecting victims. Images crowded at Sakura's mind, kept only at bay the unwavering white of the paint. Funny how the wood it was slathered upon became old and brittle, blown away once it became dust, but the paint stayed.

It was the only reassurance Sakura had. This paint - it existed, like she. If it went, then surely she would also go. What else did she have left but this white paint? Boring; dull; monotonous. It spoke well of her future, really, and, come to think of it, of her past mistakes.

She _really _should have gone with the egg-yellow that Ino had suggested when Sakura had spent a summer renovating her home.

A voice eventually penetrated Sakura's world, drifting in when she was just beginning to suspect that all was lost. "Ah, this is where you've been hiding out." Sakura turned slowly toward the voice, wondering in amazement that she still had a body and that it was still capable of movement.

Naruto crouched behind Sakura, his blue eyes blinking in confusion as he studied her face. He frowned suddenly, and Sakura had a wild vision of Naruto and Kakashi standing together, one with a rolling pin and the other with his hair in foam rollers, both complaining about how Sakura had stayed out past her bedtime and that she was grounded henceforth until prior notice, or she reached the age of seventy-four years - whatever came first.

"Sakura-chan," Naruto said carefully, his voice dropping to a near-whisper, "how've you been holding up?"

"Kiba is dead," Sakura said, as if that alone could explain her crumbling world.

"I know. I read the report you gave Tsunade." Naruto was silent for a moment, brow wrinkling and relaxing. Sakura reached out and took his face in her hands; he jerked in surprise.

"You have questions."

"Yeah."

"You've heard what everyone else is saying."

"Well, sure. They're so _loud_."

"But you don't want to upset me by asking."

"Not really." Naruto smiled gratefully at Sakura for broaching what he had been reluctant to ask, and then a look of guilt crossed his face at the same time that Sakura realized that Naruto wanted to offer her some comfort instead of making her face the bitterness of reality.

Sakura dropped her hands and folded them in her lap. "Did you speak to Kakashi?" she asked.

"Nuh-uh. I just got back from my mission; we all of us heard about the results of yours before we even made it back, so I went straight-away to Tsunade since they last heard you were in the hospital." Naruto's hands clenched into fists as he hunched over. His hair was longer than usual and there were dark circles under his eyes. If he had followed the timeline correctly, then he and his team were not due back for another six days. How hard had Naruto pushed himself and the others to rush back to a friend in need?

Sakura felt strangely warmed over by Naruto's presence. She had dreaded seeing him when she discharged herself from the hospital because of the similarities between him and Kiba, but Naruto was an endearing part of her past and present. No matter what went wrong or right, no matter how Sakura was feeling or what she was doing, there would be Naruto as a friend, companion, and teammate. As annoying at it might be to have Naruto latch desperately to anyone who was too slow to run away from his friendship (or infatuation, to Sakura's ever-continuous dismay), it mattered, because _she _mattered.

"Naruto, it's been-"

"No matter what," Naruto cried suddenly, leaning forward and grabbing her shoulders, "I believe you!"

One pink eyebrow rose. "I have your undying faith?"

Naruto nodded, his expression desperate and strained. Sakura silently wondered what, precisely, was being said about herself to have Naruto so wound up. The implications sobered any good humor she might have found in Naruto's discomfort. It took her years to build a good reputation, and so delicate it was to be so thoroughly destroyed in just a few days.

Shaken to her core, Sakura yanked her mind away from that line of thought. The world was spinning at her fingertips, but she couldn't reach out to stop it. The ghosts were crowding at her mind again, mumbling words flitting past her hearing as regret stirred, if-only-I-had, what-if, should-have, would-have, could-have all clustering about. Sakura snatched up Naruto's hand, seeking refuge in his sturdiness in the same manner as Kakashi. But the reality of his hand seemed to mutate, with fur sprouting beneath her fingertips and nails elongating.

Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her grip, breathing deeply with pursed lips as she tried to force the feelings away. But a person can hardly ignore gravity when shoved from off a cliff -

Naruto yelped in pain. "Sakura-chan!" Her eyes popped open and she focused on his face, where he gave her a nervous grin. "Despite what I said about trusting you, I admit there has always been a bit, um, suspicious regarding your strength."

Sakura stared in confusion, mind jolting to a screeching halt as she tried to realize what had changed so suddenly. With his free hand, Naruto helpfully pointed at where she had his hand clenched between her own. "You are one of the few people with the strength to break the bones in my hand."

"Oh!" Sakura relaxed her grip but did not release him. She laughed, and the sound caught her off-guard when she realized it was free of hysteria, just like when Kakashi had told her of a good way to die. Her surroundings were _silent_. She could hear her and Naruto's breath, the wind outside and the annoying jay that had laid claim to the tree beside her house. _But that was all she heard. _Her doubts, worries, and ghosts were silent.

Sanity, Sakura realized with a heady rush that bordered on orgasm, was golden, just like silence. She leaned forward suddenly and planted a sloppy kiss on the end of Naruto's nose. His eyes crossed for a moment, and then Naruto placed his hand behind his head and laughed.

Sakura watched his face, delighted in the changes blossoming in her surroundings. She could taste it, spicy and sweet like cinnamon. It had no name, and she could not identify it, but there was something there that she had missed and had recovered.

"It feels good to see you smile," Naruto said with a suspicious twinkle in his eyes when his laughing subsided. "When I came in, you looked so dead. But now you're alive."

"Yes. One of us." Thinking of Kiba, Ochi, and Gina sent a lance of pain through her breast, but it did not detract from all that Sakura was experiencing. If anything, it was another positive contribution.

Naruto's expression hardened. "How long are you going to beat yourself up about this?"

Sakura dropped her gaze. "I had a responsibility-"

"Ah, fuck responsibility!" Sakura's eyes widened at Naruto's angry expletive and she leaned backwards from him, as if his volume was bowling her over. "You can run yourself round in circles and into the ground when you always chase what you cannot change! Kiba had his own responsibility. He knew the risk involved with missions, with being a ninja. We all do, Sakura-chan. Death. That's it. And to tear yourself apart with this - this doubt and this guilt is an insult to him and the others!"

Sakura jerked as if Naruto had slapped her. He stopped yelling, but his expression did not change. He pulled his hand from her grip and then moved, quickly. His strong arms enveloped her in a fierce hug, pulling her close as if Naruto was trying to shelter her from herself. She was her own worst enemy; if only she had done what she had been taught. One single mistake led to monumental changes that reshaped her world, spiraling events beyond any sense of control, out of proportion and beyond her reach. So much that she had fought to gain for so many years was lost so easily.

She buried her face in Naruto's shoulder and cried. "Why?" she asked him. "I'm so insignificant!" His arms tightened around her, and she felt his chest swell with air to protest, but her questions came tumbling out of her mouth because they had to be said, pushed by that strange exhilaration for which she had no name. "I'm just one single person in the whole wide world! Why was the one thing I neglected to do - why did it have to be the _catalyst _to so much destruction? Why, Naruto? Why?"

"Sakura-chan." Naruto petted her hair with one hand while the other stroked her back. She heard the confusion in his voice, and suddenly, fiercely, realized that she didn't _want _the answers to her questions. She didn't want to know if there was past mistakes, insignificant by themselves but came together to form a mountain, which had led her down this path. She didn't want to know how much responsibility she concurred; how far-reaching the destruction would be.

It wasn't just her life that was ruined.

Sakura's mind snapped, shattering as her thoughts and doubts snowballed one another, each compounding the ones that came before and strengthening those following after. The strange exhilaration that had made her feel so alive was being crushed beneath the weight, ground underfoot like an ant beneath a boot heel. How far-reaching were the repercussions? She, insignificant; but others - how many others were touched and, one by one, ruined? She followed its widespread, like a cascade of dominos toppling over.

All it took was one.

_She _had been that one.

"Naruto!" She grasped him suddenly, desperately, wondering if he was the next unsuspecting victim or - or - Kakashi!

_twisted, pain - no no - no strike! Crunch snap - bone splintering beneath her fingertips, the wide-eyed surprise of someone who knew betrayal but hadn't yet comprehended the full brunt of the pain my god what did I do I'm so sorry I need to kill you so I won't hurt no stop -_

"I did it. M-my fault." Sakura yanked herself from Naruto, scrambling backwards as he stood with his mouth open, arms hanging empty in the air, hurt and confusion playing across his face. If she had angrily kicked a puppy seeking praise for fetching a newspaper and inadvertently shredding it with its teeth, its emotions would not have been any more different from Naruto's. Naruto took a step forward and Sakura clawed at her hair and face, trying to escape this treacherous body that had so thoughtlessly destroyed the spirits of so many innocent human lives, then screamed until her throat was raw.

Naruto grabbed her arms and she flailed, knocking them both into walls and causing the foundation of the house to shake. He persisted as only a man possessed by a demon could, chakra not human flaring at his fingertips as he exerted inhuman strength against her superhuman body. Frenzied chaos wrestled with berserk mayhem, gorging upon each other and strengthening into monstrous proportions that would tear asunder a continent.

A wolf howled in the light of the full moon while the cow leapt over it. The dish and the spoon eloped, leaving the poor fork to wonder if the spoon would have stayed if the fork had only been genuine silver, instead of just pewter. Tides rose and fell, smashing into one another, and they were like gods, whose fight created a cruel, but beautiful world in which life, if it struggled enough, could flourish.

But one god held back. _She _sensed it - there was a vulnerability opening up, and she lashed at it. Why? Why, she didn't know - only that she had to escape because there was pain and there was hurt and _she _was doing it and she had to stop herself, because no one else would.

Naruto ducked beneath her swing and scrambled backwards out of her reach. Off-balance, momentum carrying her, Sakura spun on her foot and was tripped up by a lump of fur. Pain exploded - someone was flaying her back and leg open with a red-hot iron, and who was screaming like a mother forced to watch her beloved child beaten to death? She had to rescue her baby! But what was this? Who had the _balls _to pin her to the ground when she needed to reach out and save the baby? She was a skilled med-nin - she could give, preserve, and maintain life but someone was sucking away her skills until she was nothing but a dry husk and - and - and -

A rough, wet tongue slathered at her collar and swept up over her chin, her open mouth, her runny nose, her wide forehead, and into the pink hair. "Needs ketchup," Inner Sakura muttered thoughtfully. Sakura, gasping for breath, turned her face in time for a wagging tongue to invade her ear. With a grating shudder, Sakura's mind began to rearrange itself, fitting poorly at the jagged edges, splintered parts with no place to go lying about her, light leaking through the cracks. In the very center was black. Outside the black was a ring of ruby red in which commas lazily swirled around.

Sakura slowly reoriented herself to her surroundings. Kitchen floor - intact, her back pressed against it. Ceiling - it would need patching, if that bit of blue sky above her was any indication. Kakashi peering at her with concern, his forehead protector shoved up to expose his sharingan, both eyes wide with concern - hey, that wasn't part of her normal scenery, but both eyes were a lovely shade of unmatched colors, so why not. One of these days, she really was going to yank that mask off to see what lay beneath, but not right now. She ought to savor the scenery.

"Where are my dishes?" she asked suddenly, feeling a wave of empathetic pain for the fork. Poor little guy, neglected and ignored for being so different... Her throat ached and her voice came out as an abused croak. Naruto's head popped into her line of vision, and she wanted to push it away because his eyes weren't mismatched colors.

Naruto grinned, but it was strained and could not wipe away the lines of worry around his mouth and under his eyes. "You will be happy to know we missed the cabinet of your mother's fine bone china!"

Kakashi's eyes narrowed slightly and he looked up from Sakura to Naruto, who contrived to look guilty. "Yes," said Kakashi, his voice level and relaxed, "and Sakura's kitchen is also now the attic and a person will have to go up the stairs to reach the basement."

"Oh, is that all?" Sakura pushed Inner Sakura/Akamaru away before she could be slobbered all over. She suddenly felt embarrassed to be licked in front of Kakashi. "I thought that maybe the dish ran away with the spoon."

Both Naruto and Kakashi looked at her with concern now, a sadness haunting Kakashi's eyes and frustrated helplessness filling Naruto's face. With a sigh, Kakashi carefully extracted himself from where he had tangled arms and legs with Sakura, and tenderly braced her torso as Naruto helped Sakura sit upright. She gritted her teeth at the pain, tears stinging her eyes. Morphine. _Gimme the potent narcotics and nobody gets hurt, 'specially me._

Kakashi took Sakura's hand in his own and pressed the other against her chin, forcing her gaze upward. She didn't want him to see the tears. She wanted to be strong, because that was what ninjas were, and that was what men needed their women to be for them. "I'm sorry," she told both of them. "I'm s-so sorry!"

Surprise flashed across Kakashi's face, and he glanced sideways at Naruto for information. "For what?"

As she cried, the words came tumbling out once more. There wasn't any of that exhilaration to help speed them along. Only the confusion on her friends' faces brought the words forth as she told them what happened from the moment she and Kiba separated at the caves. She had destroyed their lives - one way or another, sooner or later, it would finally reach them. The very least she could do was tell them how she had done it, because there was nothing she could ever do to possibly repair the damage.

Sakura babbled about what was in the report, giving what had been an objective, impartial report life in the same manner that Doctor Frankenstein had animated a patchwork corpse. She spoke of things that never made the report, like Sasuke, because she didn't know where to put him and had decided that the information was too delicate to be mentioned in any form except face to face in a secluded room, which she did mean to do with Tsunade as soon as she discovered where her drugs had disappeared, except now there never seemed to be the opportunity or time to see Tsunade.

Sakura didn't really know if what she said made sense, but she told them anyway, leaving nothing for chance. Protection she might have had was ruthlessly stripped away, and her feelings were laid bare with the tale.

After all, how did someone make the stalagmites come alive and hunt her down? Gas? Posh. Gas this, gas that. Sakura knew she saw what she saw, and if one part of her account was undermined because of a chemical substance in the air known for hallucinogenic effects, then how could she prove the other parts of the tale? (Here, Kakashi and Naruto exchanged a look loaded by so many different messages and implications that what little strength Sakura had remaining would have been snuffed out if she had had still the ability to process information two different ways, or at least process information with one half while the other ran her body and mouth.)

And Kiba! That man had the _nerve _to die on her - fine and well; she could accept that death was the nature of the business - but coming back? And back? And back some more? And _again_, like some, some, well, like Naruto really, because Naruto was the best example she could think of someone who had no concept of not giving up or surrendering.

Naruto squawked in protest, but the cool look Kakashi sent him made Naruto cross his arms and sulk about that he knew exactly what surrender was, because that's what the other people did. To which Sakura solemnly pointed out what was precisely her point, and see - right here! There was Kiba just as she had illustrated, leaning against the cabinet where her mother's fine bone china was stored and looking all the world like he thought she was a lunatic.

"Well, _shit_, can you blame me?" Kiba asked dryly, hands spread wide in defeat.

"You shut up," Sakura snapped irritably, ignoring another loaded look that passed between Naruto and Kakashi.

"They don't believe you," said Inner Sakura/Akamaru. "They're going to haul you away to the loony bin where you'll live out your life wearing coats that the healthcare staff are too incompetent to dress a person in correctly."

"They mean to do that," Kiba told Inner Sakura/Akamaru.

"I may be a dog, but even _I _know which way a coat is supposed to be worn."

Sakura turned her eye on Inner Sakura/Akamaru. "And you - don't even get me started on you!" Because Inner Sakura was the other half of her mind, and somehow they were ripped asunder, leaving the ragged remains trapped in Sakura's body raw and bewildered at the rapid changes in her world. Perhaps that was why reality was falling apart, Sakura explained matter-of-factly to her wide-eyed audience, because when she said she lost her mind, she really _had _lost her mind - okay, _half _her mind - kinda like how Naruto lost that village he was supposed to protect and boy oh boy, was it ever just as embarrassing!

Her self-esteem was now nonexistent, trampled beneath the growing realization that all of this was because of what _she _had done, and in the end there was nothing left for her in which to return. All she had was a wide forehead. Who would want that?

As she babbled, Kiba slumped forward, and then slid down the surface of the cabinet as if he had lost the will to stand. His expression was crushed, the light in his eyes dying as he looked like a man who had gazed upon the face of his doom and, numb with grief, was resigned to it without a fight.

In the corner of Sakura's mind, oddly detached as were the other shards that didn't quite fit into place, there was a growing sense of horror. _Stop digging_, the horror pleaded, _it starting to look like a grave. _But she persisted onward despite the warnings, feeling that maybe, if she dug deep enough, she could create a tunnel to escape whilst everyone lingered at the top, scratching their heads in confusion.

When Sakura came at last, trailing to the part of her tale where she met Kakashi, her voice and words faltered. A knot in her throat threatened to strangle her as she floundered helplessly in the rising tide of panic. If she only had that exhilaration! It gave her the strength before, but it was gone, and she had lost whatever had made her speak.

"Oh!" She pressed her hands against her temples and shook her head, crying as both Kakashi and Naruto jumped to pry her hands from her head lest she crush her skull. "What was it?" she asked the world. "Why is it gone and why does it leave me feeling so _dead_?"

Kiba slowly lifted his head. Sakura jerked in surprise at the tear tracks on his face. "That?" he asked with a hollow voice. "Oh, Sakura, _that _had been _hope_."

oOoOoOo

_Kiba led her to the top, but he wavered in her vision, in and out and in and out as different faces and voices took his place. Some were helpful, others hindering; all clamored for her attention. She didn't recognize them at first, didn't know why they knew her or why they had to come for little, insignificant Sakura who was alone in these endless caverns._

_Slowly though, their words began to make sense, and her memories stirred at their faces. That child had been a unfortunate casualty one so-and-so mission that she was too late in rescuing. That person she didn't know from which mission had been a person she had struck down, because there were very few things as stark as a crushed skull, and she had always hated herself for such an unclean death. There was a teammate who had fallen behind and no one looked over the shoulder to check, least of all Sakura. _

_**We are your failures,** their message said in so many different words and accusations, the tones of betrayal, hurt, and hatred searing her ears. **You let us down.** _

_Kiba flickered amongst the other ghosts, always silent and his gaze sad as he watched her struggle alone. Another failure like so many others, he did not join the cast of hecklers. Why? She had killed him too. See, his chest was unmoving though she heard liquid splashing in his cavity, and there was that ugly gash in his side that parted skin and muscle. But he remained silent and remained just ahead of the others._

_Sakura struggled past the ghosts, but their whispery appendages tugged at her clothes, poking at bruises and pinching scratches. Little hurts that could not be compared to theirs; it was their right, Sakura felt, that they could do this. Their right to her wrongs - her atonement. Purification through fire was usually the quickest, albeit most painful._

_But Kiba did nothing. She was left alone to battle, but he stood apart from the pack. As she approached the head, he turned his back to her and resumed walking. "You were my greatest mistake," Sakura said when she realized why he stood where he stood._

_Kiba whipped around on his heel as if he had been struck from behind with a bolt of lightning, and he gave her an affronted look. "What? What the **fuck**?" _

_"All of them," said Sakura, looking at the other crowding ghosts as they chanted, pushed, moaned, poked, and pinched, "all of them are people I failed. You, I failed the most spectacularly." _

_"Woe, wait a minute here! Aside from it being the _best _night **I **ever had in a whorehouse - oh, you mean **that **so-called failure." Kiba angrily pulled at his hair before squaring off against her. "How many times do I have to tell ya - the **fuck** that this is your fault! If you had deliberately pulled shit, like forgetting your medications and laughing it off with a shrug and a, 'Ah, well, we'll try again better next time,' because you were a flaky airhead with more concern for her nails than the state of someone's gut wound, because you became a med-nin because of some misplaced, glorified adolescent daydream of fame and fortune that had no place for the fear, the courage, the concern, the protective strutting mother hen that I've seen you as, yes it would be your fault, you stupid bitch! But you're not a stupid bitch and you're not a flaky airhead, because you are a protective strutting mother hen capable of beating up Akamaru when he accidentally wanders too close to your chicks!" _

_Sakura stumbled backwards in surprise at Kiba's temper. _

_"Sakura...!" Kiba rubbed his face with his hands and pushed his unkempt hair from his eyes. He looked uncertain with himself, which was foreign to Sakura because Kiba had always been someone so comfortable in his own skin._

_"Sakura," Kiba said again, softly, "I don't know what the gas is doing to your mind. I know that it's next to impossible to fight the creations that come from the chemical and electrical signals being scrambled like eggs in a pan. **I **have been there. And I know that you are so raw right now, and as strong as you are, I am at awe that you can still stand and still have the trust to follow me." _

_He extended his hand out to her, palm turned upright and fingers curving invitingly. "You **do **trust me, don't you?" His eyes begged her as he stood rigid, reaching out for more than just confirmation._

_Sakura stared at the hand in dismay, and then timidly reached out. Her fingers brushed against the surface of his hand, fingertips lightly following the creases in his palm. "Yes," she said. _

_His fingers curled over hers. "Good." They walked hand-in-hand, Kiba leading her out of the darkness and the endlessness, ghosts sulking in silence as they trailed behind. Numbness stole over Sakura's mind as she followed Kiba. Her entire world was focused upon putting one step ahead of the other. Up. Down. Up. Down. Monotonous, unchanging, but as steady and as serene as the line of Kiba's back, slightly twisted because his arm reached behind. _

_Sakura saw the light, and as they approached the cave's mouth, sunshine streaming through, she felt her heart lifting from where it had settled in the pit of her stomach. Then it leapt wildly into her throat as a shriek emitted the cave, sound bouncing from wall to wall and piercing Sakura to her soul with its pain. _

_"Sakura!" She dropped Kiba's hand and whirled around. In horror, mouth open and vision blurring, Sakura watched as Gina's head bounced down the cave, the bloody string of vertebrae trailing after and rattling with each slapping thunk. Gina's eyes rolled in her head, searching. Her skin was bruised and lacerated from the constant impact of bounding off the ground. It whipped upright in the air and hovered before Sakura's face, the eyes old and jaded, reflecting a resentment to the world that had shaped her into what she was: a woman who sold sex for information, fulfilling the roles of so many others because it was not a popular position. She had been a proud warrior at one time, young and beautiful and alive. But body and soul suffered degradation as filthy acts piled upon one another, the actual experience of sharing and bonding with another human being buried beneath an ever-increasing disdain and numbness. _

_"I was close to ruin," Gina cried, her voice thin and wailing. "He **saved **me! You wouldn't understand, you don't know what its like to exist in puss and blood and filth, nowhere left to go! You couldn't understand what it's like to have someone lift you from that, clean the stink away, and bring back meaning that was forgotten! You wouldn't know! **And you stole that from me! You stole that and I have returned to that filth!** Why, Sakura? Why? We trusted you!_"_ Gina's head rolled in the air, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she wailed her misery. Sakura shook her head in silent denial, her body trembling from a storm of emotions that were whipping inside her chest. The ghosts clustered around Gina, soothing and petting her skin and vertebrae. _

_Sakura shrieked as something touched her arm. She darted from it blindly, and slammed into the cave's wall. It trembled as fine cracks appeared in it, but Sakura barely paid it any heed as she pushed herself around, hands flattening against the stone as she sobbed in fear. _

_She saw a hand stretching out to her, and she reached out and grabbed it, twisting it as rage suddenly snapped alive. How _dare _they act as if they were the only ones wronged, the only ones who were hurt! How _dare _they think they were the only ones who had the right to make accusations! _How dare they how dare they how dare they! Her_ kit had been tampered with! _Her_medications had been stolen and switched! _She _was as much a victim of them, her honor hanging from her soul in tattered shreds as the trust placed in her responsibility lay scattered in ashes at her feet. _

_The yelp of pain fueled her anger. Something slithered in her belly and Sakura was overwhelmed by the changes she felt taking place in her body. She was bloated with child. Her breasts were heavy with milk. There was a hideous creature growing in her womb that was sired by misery and being fed by panic. She wanted it terminated. She wanted to thrust a long-handled kunai up between her thighs and skewer the ugly beast. It was nothing more than a tumor that fed upon her, leeching off her body and destroying her life for the sake of its own._

_**No more. She would have no more!**_

_The trembling in her body ceased as she straightened upright and faced the enemies that ambushed her then and there. She fought against the ghosts, slamming and screaming her anger at them. Something tall and lean among the ghosts was slipping and sliding out of her reach, repeating her name over and over in a calm manner that must to be stopped. She wanted to crush the throat the name arose from, wanted to make it stop because it was only just another accusation for something she had no control over. Let them bear the responsibility of the part they played in their own fates; she was just another simple person, insignificant in this wide world. Why did she have to bear the weight of everyone else's sins?_

_Duck, block. The eel was as skillful as it was slippery. Mockety mock. See what I can do and you can't? Oh no! She couldn't - _wouldn't _have that. Sakura lunged one way, changed tactics and movement in mid-air, and slammed into that slippery eel. Something rose to block her strike and, as she caught sight of one dark eye widening in surprise, she punched down, hard. She felt the bone splinter beneath her fingertips, the layers of heavy muscle tissue above it crushed, before she heard the sickening crunch. The rage withered into a sharp pain as she recognized something that tore her heart in two. _

_Betrayal. He would not be submersed in the full brunt of the pain until it finally penetrated his brain. The shattered femur - trust that had been unexpectedly shattered by a cold-blooded blow dealt in white-hot rage - **which hurt the most?** Sakura wondered in despair._

_Their momentum carried them outside the cave's mouth, tumbling down a sharp slope that jarred her back and leg and oh, someone was flaying her alive again with hot hooks and her heart bled from its two halves and sorry and gods, gods above! Have mercy! They both hurt hurt hurt so much and she hurt and he hurt and her back oh, her heart - oh, oh, Kakashi!_

_Mercy!_

oOoOoOo

Sakura found a refuge in Kakashi's arms as she clung to him, face buried in the crook of his shoulder, his shirt soaked from her cascading tears and ragged sobs. He cradled her gently, rocking his upper body and massaging her back with his hands. This was her order; this was the calm amidst the bedlam. Here she was safe, because no matter what she did, Kakashi was at her side. He may not always protect her, but he trusted her. She could smash the trust under heel, burn it to ashes, scatter the remains to the tempest winds, but he always had more where it came from. Nothing she said and the actions she performed could make him flinch or wince as Naruto or others did. Steadfast. That was what she needed.

Naruto and Kakashi spoke to one another, their voices low and strained; clear-spoken, the words still rang sharp with anger.

"What the hell...!"

"She's fragile."

"Fragile like a baby in a rocker that was yanked up by a giant wave. What has anyone done about this?"

"What can they do? No one believes her."

"I believe her, and so do you."

"Sakura, regardless of whether or not she was drugged or gassed, has never been the sort to make up fantastic stories to garner attention or for any other reason. Not even as a young girl."

"_Fuck_, I know _that_."

"Language, boy, language. There are ladies present."

"Sorry, Kakashi-sensei. But there had to be _someone _there. Didn't you see anything?"

"I received and answered a signal of emergency from Kiba's wire. By the time I arrived at its incoming location, I found myself embroiled in a bitter battle of strength with an ally, one who was fighting unseen demons, Naruto. I was in the right place at the right time."

"How right could it be?"

"If there was ever a time she needed a friend, it was then, Naruto. People who cling by a thread never deserve to be alone, and yet it is because they are alone that they hang by that thread. In their struggles to save themselves they often inadvertently strangle themselves."

"I wish - I wish I knew who was responsible. What is reality and what is fiction in her story, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Everything."

"But stalagmites coming alive to fight her? Twisted creatures? The searchers at the caves found _nothing_."

"She doesn't know that yet."

"She has to know."

"There is someone who could confirm her story. Someone who is a better ninja than either she or Kiba."

"_Sasuke_."

"From the sounds of it, Orochimaru and Sasuke have been involved."

"_No_! Not Sasuke!"

"Naruto, these changes in a human's body are a specialty of Orochimaru's-"

"No! Kakashi-senshi, Sasuke would _never _allow it."

"We'll never know, though. Sasuke hasn't been seen for eight years and when he doesn't want to be found, he isn't."

"Oh, he _will _be."

"Naruto, where are you-"

"You're gonna have to trust me, like Sakura-chan."

"Sakura isn't prone to hare-brained schemes that would normally kill innocent bystanders if it weren't for your awe-inspiring luck. _And _fast reflexes."

"And Sasuke is an arrogant ass, but at least he's an arrogant ass who doesn't fiddle with human lives, Kakashi-sensei."

The words were merely useless noise. This was all the meaning she needed. Kakashi did not cast blame, and he gave no false reassurance. He was honest to her, and made her honest with herself. When her reality was splitting apart, and her entire world was rearranging itself in accordance to hallucinations and illusions and false pretenses, that unerring honesty was what she most desperately needed.


	8. Chapter 8

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Okay, actually it was Demeter1 who made me do it. Well, she didn't make me, make me. This is actually a Christmas fic I've been writing for her.

NOTES: I would just like to say that while this story can be rather angsty and dramatic most of the time, Sasuke is one of the least angstiest characters to make an appearance. Yes! Our runaway!emo should have more appearances like this more often! And also: **WARNING!** There's some stomach-churning descriptions of torture in this chapter.

* * *

In a valley uninhibited by human life, virgin in both its pristine atmosphere and surroundings, and seemingly a mere memory of an ancient civilization, watched over carefully by two enormous statues standing side by side and separated only by the thundering falls, nature existed peacefully. Harmony was the sense in the air, for this was a place where the troubled of heart came for comfort; where the savaged soul was soothed into serenity, where-

"_SASUKE! SAAAAAAAAASUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEE! You arrogant, low-lying, ungrateful, dead-beating, unpleasant, miserable, egotistical, depraved, haughty, cross-eyed, freaky, pessimistic, disgraceful defect best known for being a lowly m-"_

"Your volume and vocabulary have increased since the last we met. I'm impressed you haven't managed to repeat yourself."

"-inion...?"

"Ah, but given enough time, I'm sure you would have to."

Naruto whipped around and glared at the figure that was slowly lifting itself over the statue's edge from where it had been sound asleep in the curving shell of one ear. Naruto took a step back as the disgruntled figure slowly approached him, outlined in sunshine but cast in shadow, tottering between alone and lonely.

"And I'm not, nor have I ever been, cross-eyed. I resent that very much. Itachi, now, _he _might have been cross-eyed, since he currently uses, of all things, a seeing eye dog." With a snort, Naruto flung his arm wide and pointed.

"Ah hah! I'm _finally _taller than you!"

Sasuke stumbled off-beat for a second before quickly recovering. There was a cool dignity about the way he crossed his stiff arms before himself, planted his feet wide, and regarded Naruto with detached disdain. Neither man fell into a fighting stance or reached for weapons. The last they had met face to face atop these great statues hone from stone, faces of men they could guess at but neither wished to confirm, they had fought a battle neither could really consider finished. Perhaps it never would be, no matter how many times they squared off.

But this, Naruto knew, was not about either of them this time. This was not about the male egos jostling each other back and forth, nipping and growling in the war to see which was bigger. Moving quietly at the same time in an unspoken agreement, eyes still warily regarding the other, they folded their legs beneath them and sat down. Sasuke propped his arms on his knees and forced his fingers to knit into a bridge upon which he rested his chin. Naruto knelt, his hands clasped firmly on his knees, fingers tapping unconsciously to the rhythm of his heart.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked, his voice barely rising above the roar of the waterfall.

"You got ears in the most unexpected places," Naruto replied. "I think I saw Kabuto slinking about the local market yesterday, so you tell me."

"Kabuto was at the local market because tomatoes are in season. Your manners _stink_, Naruto. For answering your summons, courtesy indicates you explain yourself."

"Prick," Naruto growled. Sasuke's eyebrows arched and he thrust his chin upward, as if to say _Yes? And what are you going to do about it? _"It's about Sakura-chan."

The chin dropped thoughtfully. "Ah."

"Ah?" Naruto's hands squeezed in anger as he leaned forward. "AH? That's all you have you say?"

Sasuke turned his gaze from Naruto, face expressionless and eyes empty. "There is nothing more I need to say. She doesn't want my help; I daresay I would be considered far more a hindrance than a help because, as Kabuto overheard it said between two washerwomen chattering about the whispered word from the hospital, Sakura is having back problems and I distinctly recall landing such a blow."

"It's not her pain. She's - she's insane." Naruto's words were hisses, an undercurrent of anger drawing them out sharply. Sasuke said nothing and his face was still expressionless, though his back became suddenly rigid and his fingers twitched. Very little of what Sasuke said or did was random; it was all carefully calculated so nothing could be used against him, but the slips of control - Naruto could count the number of all he had seen in the past four years and still not run out of fingers on the first hand he used.

Some could say Sasuke was free, if they knew he was no longer with the Hidden Village of Sound that he systematically dismantled, board by board, nail by nail, person by person, with his bare, barely obedient, hands over the years.

If he ever got around to reading that book Ino had loaned him with the strangled hope that maybe, just maybe, it would _culture _Naruto, Naruto would say Sasuke was chained to a cliff, his liver and heart consumed daily by an eagle, then regenerated nightly. Sasuke's control was paramount; he walked a staggering line between maintaining and losing control to the monster clawing constantly at the carefully mounted bars within his mind and body, the mind-transfer jutsu five years old and always chancy misstep away from completion.

Naruto knew that Sasuke would understand Sakura's predicament far more clearly than he ever could, because there is no better understanding than that which is gained from experience. But whether Sasuke's reaction was from shock or sympathy, Naruto could not say.

Naruto could recognize the slip in control, but he couldn't garner meaning from it.

"She's trapped." The words were still soft, but no longer a hiss. Naruto bowed his head and studied the stone, wondering who had carved it and whether it was done by hand, tool, or jutsu. He could see Sakura's face in his mind, see her frightened eyes and darting gaze, the coiling tightness of her body, the wilting of a brilliant spirit. "She's trapped within this illusion, but it's not genjustu. She's being consumed by an anti-reality, and I- I can't stop it. I don't know how. I don't know what's tearing her apart! She told me that she sees things and hears things and feels things that aren't there, but are! To her, they are as real as my speaking to you, or you on this stone."

Naruto's hands slowly curled into white-knuckled fists. "Sakura-chan said that half her mind was stolen by Akamaru, and that Kiba has the audacity not to stay good and dead. She doesn't mean that like she's upset that Kiba is around because she really care for him, you know, but that she had always thought Kiba to be a competent person and just how clumsy can a person be to screw up his own death?"

Naruto looked up in time to see a familiar smug smirk slipping across Sasuke's lips. "Don't comment to that," he added frostily. "Decapitated heads are speaking to her and dead bodies hanging from ceilings, and actual reality is morphing into this _anti_-reality. Sasuke, do you realize how paranoid she is? Her emotions flip-flop so much that I feel like I'm at a convention for PMSing women! And don't comment to that _either_."

Naruto momentarily fell silent, but did not expect an answer. "I can't pretend to understand what she is going through, and I can't imagine what it is that she needs right now to make it stop. What if I make it worse? What if I push her over that edge?"

"Naruto," Sasuke sighed a sigh most common with those exasperated with having to explain the why of something that was otherwise so incredibly simple, "what do you expect _me _to do - form a support group with Sakura and call it A Few Crayons Short?"

"No." Naruto grinned at the sarcasm. Sasuke sat upright and painfully untwisted his fingers. His arms fell slack to his lap like dead limbs being released from their bindings. A shadow crossed over Sasuke, fleeting enough that Naruto cursed his rampant imagination. Naruto easily imagined Orochimaru superimposed over Sasuke and had nightmares of what might be such a bastard borne of such a mating; he didn't need the nightmares plaguing him right now when he was trying to be tactful in speaking to Sasuke.

Bah. There had to be a reason why tactfulness was so close to tacky in the dictionary. "No," Naruto said again as his face became serious, "I need to pinpoint what _you _had to do with this."

Sasuke's pupils dilated wide and his breath hitched in his chest. Twice in one meeting; that had to be a record for both of them that Sasuke could be shocked. Naruto sometimes thought of Sasuke as a desert: bland, unchanging, nondescript as only a sea of sand could be. But there were changes, Gaara once explained to Naruto; a person just had to be familiar with it in order to read all the different subtleties that caused that sea of sand to shift and morph. It sounded like a good metaphor to Naruto, who really didn't give a damn about the desert, but had learned how to read the shifting subtleties in the stillness that was Sasuke.

Naruto saw the anger and resentment in Sasuke. Naruto knew how to read the thinning of lips, the slight tension that changed Sasuke's careful posture ever so slightly. There was a wealth of information Sasuke's body gave away as the cogs turned, but Naruto was positive that it was always intentional.

Well, _almost_.

"We met in the cave and fought," Sasuke said. The hesitation in his voice was one of a person trying to recall details that, at the time of occurrence, had been ruthlessly deemed unnecessary and purged from memory. He cocked his head to the side as his eyes narrowed slightly. "There were cages filled with creatures."

"Human experiments. You weren't mentioned in the report, but Sakura-chan seemed to insinuate that she believed you had something to do with it."

Sasuke's dark eyes flickered momentarily and Naruto waved his hand in exasperation. "But you wouldn't," Naruto declared with the child-like conviction of one who believed - and the world be sorry for anyone who dared to contradict. "Did you know that another team was sent to the caves after the report was filed to confirm details and recover Sakura-chan's fallen teammates? There wasn't anything to be found. No cages, no bodies, no people. Argh!"

Naruto viciously raked his fingers through his hair. "There's all these people who are saying Sakura-chan isn't reliable, and what a wonder that is because she was always such. A. Good. Girl." Naruto wasn't too well with carrying off sarcasm, but the volume of his voice rose a few notches with his last sentence, then dropped to its normal level. "It's destroying her. No reality. No reputation. No future as a med-nin. They won't let a nutcase work in delicate situations or be given responsibility. The only thing Sakura-chan's got going for her are the facts that Kakashi confirmed the fourth-code signal with Kiba's reception at that very area, and that the disappearance of one of our best teams without any trace can't explained by anyone but Sakura-chan."

"Kiba," Sasuke said thoughtfully, "Sakura was often on his team. His body was not to be found?"

"Nope. Neither hair nor hide of the other team members were spotted. Well, no, that's a lie. Akamaru, thankfully still very attached to his hair and hide, was found with Sakura-chan. But otherwise it's like a cleaning service went into the place and did a number on it." Naruto kicked a toe against the stone surface. "Kiba said one time that she was the only med-nin that smelled pleasant. All the others smelled like piss and disinfectant." They stood together in silence, each caught up in the enormity of their situation and the bittersweet memories of yesteryear. "Neh, Sasuke? There were humans in those cages like Sakura-chan said there were, right?" Naruto did not doubt Sakura when she said she had seen something. Unlike others, he believed that what she had seen at that time was not the production of a hallucinogen.

Naruto wanted to know if it was truly a horrible scene that Sakura had detailed in her near-hysteria, if it was far worse than what her original, dry, medical-worded report indicated.

"There were no humans." Naruto stiffened at the sudden nothingness in Sasuke's voice. There was nothingness in his dark eyes as well, and Naruto wondered all of what Sasuke had witnessed when Orochimaru still existed in a separate body. "There was nothing human left of them. Cognition, emotions, memories. These leave imprints in people, Naruto, but the imprints had been wiped out. There was nothing to rescue, and trying to save them would have been like chasing a mirage." A mocking smile flitted across Sasuke's lips. "I daresay they were even deader to the world than I. They were nothing but beasts, their souls wrenched from their bodies like some morbid sacrifice to blood-thirsty gods. The outsides were patchwork monsters, the human body used as a blueprint by someone with an imagination and ingenuity that could rival only one other man's." With a smile that mocked himself, Sasuke lifted one arm and pointed a shapeless finger at his forehead. A moment passed, and then his arm dropped as if he no longer had the energy to hold it aloft.

You aren't dead, Naruto wanted to say.

I wouldn't give _him _the satisfaction, Sasuke would have replied with just a glimmer of masochistic glee.

"Did seeing them do anything to Sakura-chan?"

"No more than seeing me." Sasuke thrust his chin out again, as if daring Naruto to accuse him of being the catalyst that quickened Sakura's ruin. "She was shocked; but she was calm and quick with her decisions."

Naruto smiled like a father hearing undue praise for his daughter. "She's not prone to panic like she was when we were Genin, our Sakura-chan," he said fondly.

"She was equally calm when I appeared." Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment. "I asked her how she could have maintained a naivety that was repelled by what dwelled in those cages. It had nothing to do with naivety, apparently, but rather her humanity - or so she told me."

Naruto studied Sasuke. "Which surprised you," he guessed.

"What _surprised _me," Sasuke replied with a hint of testiness, "was her maturity."

"You didn't see her grow up," Naruto said with fondness.

"Neither did you, gallivanting across the countryside with a man world-renowned for being a pervert."

"His books aren't that bad," Naruto muttered.

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You've actually read them?"

"They have a plot!" Naruto declared defensively as he crossed his arms before himself. "Besides, he made me a beta reader." He carefully didn't mention how his own hand-written reports often needed (so totally _not _gentle) guidance from Sakura.

The flash of disbelief on Sasuke's face was brief, but it was enough for Naruto to start laying bets that temperatures were rapidly dropping somewhere in hell.

They were silent, each dwelling on his own thoughts, a sense of companionship growing from their discussion of familiar people. It lacked heart though, the sense of trust of two people sharing some portion of their lives with one another because sharing was a human trait that allowed large bodies of otherwise self-obsessed creatures to get along and build communities. Naruto supposed that tossing a few insults would help facilitate that feeling, but he wasn't here for male-bonding. "If you and Sakura-chan saw those creatures, what happened to them?"

"The evidence was removed," Sasuke said with his you-are-a-simpleton-god-_why_-must-I-explain-this-with-one-syllable-words? voice.

"No, really? And here I thought they had searched the wrong caves. Knew I shoulda asked if the team had taken the left fork in the path instead of the right."

"Naruto, you don't do sarcasm well."

"This isn't-"

"What did her teammates look like?"

Naruto huffed, not seeing the point to the question, but decided to humor Sasuke anyway. "Well, there was this one who was big and unpleasant of expression. He had these really big canine teeth," he pulled at his lips to expose his own, "and these funny purple triangle tattoos," he dug his fingers into his cheeks, "and he smelled like a dog. Probably because he always hung out with them." Then he grinned as Sasuke glared.

"Did one," Sasuke said softly, his words carefully paced, "have simple brown hair, nondescript and just - I can't describe him. There was nothing truly unique about him except the way we – we met." His lips twisted as irony crept into his last words.

"Hmm." Naruto could recall Kiba's team fairly well; the only reason why he kept Ochi's face in his memory was because Kiba had muttered that Ochi was the only person he ever met who smelled of almonds. Since Naruto had a difficult time pinpointing the _taste_ of almonds, he had always wondered what their scent could be like (almost everything seemed to be mixed in with honey, anyways). "That would be Ochi. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Bland. Yeah. Where'd you find _him_ when Sakura-chan said that he wasn't seen by anyone after the team separated?"

Sasuke's eyes were hooded as he once more propped his arms on his knees and knitted his fingers together. As he rested his chin upon the bridge, he spoke as if he were reciting a report on the weather. "Skewered on a young, carefully broken tree with his hands removed and the wrists cauterized. Castrated, also. I don't know about the color of his eyes; those having been removed. The optic nerves trailed from the sockets and lay across flayed-open cheeks, rather like worms, I thought."

Naruto choked, one hand flying to his throat as if to ward off the gruesome vision of mutilation, shuddering at the calm recitation. "_Who_ would do _that_?"

"Naruto, he was still alive when I approached." Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and breathed through his teeth. "It would have been a slow death."

Naruto's eyes flared open. "Would have been?" There was a curving of his pupils, the twitching of fingers as the skin pulled back around the beds and the nails curved at the ends.

Sasuke's eyes were as cold as his voice. "I did not know who he was, but even _I _would not leave a man - or an animal - to die with such indignity and pain. I severed his carotid arteries at his behest. Quick, clean, efficient."

"Did he say what happened? Who did it? He was a Jounin! How powerful does a person have to be to overcome a Jounin and- and- and _torture _him like that?"

"I don't know, Naruto. Damned inconvenient that his tongue should also be removed, hmm?"

Naruto clenched his hands together and brought them to his forehead, pressing them against his body to maintain control over the anger that fed his own demon. "How cruel. How _evil_. Demented. Madness! And you sit there like you aren't even _bothered _by it!"

"Yes," Sasuke said flatly, "it _was _very calculated. He had been left in the sun, which maximized pain and discomfort. His wounds were carefully selected to pain his body, his spirit, his mind. What senses he was left were stimulated to the max, and the senses that were removed left him acutely aware of what he no longer had. Demented? Perhaps. Madness? Far from it. Cruelty? Not necessarily."

"Sonofabitch! How the _fuck _can you say that?"

"Very easily, Naruto. I was _there_," Sasuke said, his voice not changing from its flat casualness. "Cruelty generally indicates a sense of sadism, of someone who derives joy from what is inflicted upon others – or at least acknowledges what is inflicted. This - this was too calculating and too impersonal to be emotional. I would venture to say everything indicates that what your Ochi suffered was merely an inconvenience, a frivolous detail. Cruelty never consciously entered the mastermind's variables."

"What are you trying to say?"

Sasuke suddenly looked uncomfortable, and shrugged his shoulders, as monumental as Naruto visibly fidgeting while telling an inept lie. "It's hard to describe, Naruto. It's difficult to explain something that doesn't exist."

"So it was a hallucination? Something you suffered because you were in the gas?"

The look that Sasuke gave Naruto was that of someone whose skills had been accidentally insulted by a callous bigmouth. "My exit hadn't been overtaken by that," he said scornfully. "And it led directly to your Ochi. No." He rubbed his eyes, something Naruto learned meant that Sasuke was feeling exhausted and that the in-dwelling monster was stroking Sasuke's feelings - frustrations, fears, doubts - into a raging bonfire.

Naruto could usually smother the bonfire with an unexpected joke or, when Sasuke wasn't looking, a hug (which Naruto wasn't too keen on giving Sasuke no matter the circumstances, because Naruto liked to hug soft things like Sakura-chan or the stuffed hippo Hinata won for him at the carnival two years ago, and Sasuke was just too brittle for Naruto to enjoy hugging; but the cursing was priceless and he especially loved the part where Sasuke would try to explain _again_, using small words, that Sasuke existed in a bubble, see, and only those very select few whom Sasuke trusted were allowed to penetrate this bubble, and Naruto should just be very - here now! Stop that! People who insist upon sexually assaulting him are going to be singing in the soprano section of Konoha's Community Choir if they so persisted!), but he was too disgusted, too filled with rage and the need to hunt down whoever was responsible. Again, he saw a flash of the demon's arrogance in the tilt of thin lips, and Naruto stopped himself short of lunging forward in rage to tear a throat asunder, reminding himself no, no, this is Sasuke. _Sasuke_. Sasuke only had an unwanted houseguest taking up valuable space in his mind and hands, just as Naruto had in his bellybutton. _It is Sasuke, my _friend_._

"What I'm trying to say is this," Sasuke tried again, giving no acknowledgment that he knew of Naruto's struggles, except that Naruto knew Sasuke was keen to it, "although it inadequately conveys what is so abstract that I have difficulty understanding it myself: Ochi's suffering was _secondary _to a greater scheme. Any suffering and bewilderment the human experiments were still capable of feeling didn't matter. These were just that: _experiments_, Naruto. It is hard for me to understand, and _I _live thought to thought with a mind that did the very same, but to his own greedy ends. I'm not exaggerating when I say you have _no _mind for science.

"You are emotions and faith and blunt force, packed into a body capable of defying science. Everything that you are is the antithesis to the mastermind. Emotions cannot be measured or explained; it is subjective data that is not trustworthy and cannot be successfully duplicated every time by every person. Force is an uncontrollable variable that scientists despise with a passion because it mucks up data and skews results. Faith is often blind, based often not upon facts but random beliefs that often have no pattern or make little sense, and I have never met anyone as blindly faithful as the guy who _still _figures he's going to be Hokage some day."

"Well, I will," Naruto muttered resentfully, his head hurting from trying to make sense of Sasuke's words. "They did eventually get over the fox in me."

"Yes. But they're also still upset with you over that entire village you managed to lose."

Naruto's face turned bright red. "Could we _please _not talk about that?"

"I'm curious as to how anyone could possibly lose an entire village he was hired to protect - lock, stock, barrel and fuzz. The details are so highly classified that only other catastrophic blunders possibly warrant similar lip-zipping."

"I don't want to talk about it!" Naruto growled under his breath as Sasuke soaked up Naruto's embarrassment with sadistic delight. "If you're so desperate to find out, let that spy of yours do so."

"Kabuto is _not_ my spy."

"Fine. Errand boy."

As emotion and faith and force, Naruto didn't know if he was being complimented beneath insults, or insulted beneath obscure and twisted compliments. It touched upon the old Sasuke, the one who put down to raise up. Heart was brought into their surroundings though. It soothed the savage beast, and Naruto's vision, which had sharpened considerably, receded slightly. The edge of his rage was blunted, and some understanding from Sasuke's explanation slowly trickled in.

"They were trials of observation. With the human experiments, it feels like a scientist who possesses magnificent intellect but no heart or empathy - those had to be scrapped, if you will, because petty human emotions got in the way of making discoveries. Emotions that side with empathy and sympathy limit, because without emotions, Naruto, the human intellect and imagination lack buffers for damage-control. Curiosity and desire and greed are driving forces that can outrun you in sheer force and speed, and once these are stripped of any brakes, the results - as you have heard and seen from Sakura and me - are disastrous. There is nothing to stop such a force. You can only hope there's enough _lack_ of force to suffice."

Naruto scrunched his face up in puzzlement. "Say what?"

Sasuke glowered. "Like death, you nitwit, death. Curiosity _did _kill the cat."

"Then why don't you _say_ death instead of lack of force?"

Sasuke pointed a finger at his forehead, a smile of mockery once more on his lips, and then the hand turned and the finger pointed directly at Naruto. "Because cats have nine lives, and death is sometimes inadequate at stopping force."

"Oh." Naruto wasn't so certain that the nine-tailed fox demon and Orochimaru could be considered dead but he supposed, on a _really _technical level that, yes, they were. "So, what kind of _experiments _are these?"

Sasuke pressed a hand to his forehead and frowned. "I didn't want to read too deeply into them, Naruto, but _he _was ever so helpful in explaining, according to _his _experience, what they were meant to achieve."

"Che." Sasuke's idea of helping and Naruto's idea of helping were apparently different in both idea and in sarcasm.

"The creatures in cages: an experiment to see how much the human body can be changed. Your Ochi: an experiment to see how much the human body can endure." There was more to be said, but Sasuke was silent for a long moment, eyes flickering with rapid thoughts and calculations as he sorted through what he knew, culling sentences and rearranging ideas. Naruto waited patiently, allowing Sasuke the space and silence he needed. When Sasuke's eyes finally focused on him, there was no longer anything cold about his gaze. A shiver ran down Naruto's spine when he realized this was the first time in four years that he had seen Sasuke's eyes ablaze with hot anger. Something Sasuke treasured, few as such possessions were, was being threatened, and it was more than Sasuke's pride that burned with a spirit yearning to protect, to coddle, and to shelter.

"I don't believe there are too many experiments taking place at this time," Sasuke said, an undercurrent in his voice that made Naruto want to leap to his feet with glee and announce to the world that alone is lonely, but there was still _life _in _alive_; "these are too large in their magnitude in which to carefully track more than one. How many masterminds are there, manipulating and experimenting? I cannot tell you the answer to that. Do they have sidekicks or assistants? Labs? What are they trying to accomplish with their findings? _I _shudder to think. But I do know that by following an experiment to where testing factors are being introduced will lead to those responsible."

Naruto leaned forward, his face lighting up in elation. "Will you help us find who did this?"

Sasuke's eyes flickered, a flash of cold mingling in the heat. "Naruto, I do not _care _about your Ochi. I was _not horrified_ with how I found him, but only with how lacking in emotion the set-up felt." Naruto bristled at the words, ready to yell at Sasuke, but wanting to know where his thoughts were leading. "The extent of my regards to him was given when I used my kunai for mercy.

"I do not _care _about what I saw in those cages; I haven't the humanity of Sakura's to give a flying fuck whether they had lost everything or not. If I cared, I would not _be in control_." Sasuke clipped his words short and closed his eyes, forcing back the bitter resentment that filled his voice and face, an aspect of him that was otherwise kept neatly tucked in a corner and, Naruto suspected, labeled _Bitter Resentment _to prevent Sasuke from forgetting what that emotion was. "But," Sasuke opened his eyes, which still burned and his voice still rang with the undercurrent, "but I _do care _for _her_."

Ah, so Sasuke had recently visited the corner labeled _Friendship _and dusted it off, had he?

"I thought the empathy had been poisoned," Sasuke added as an afterthought, his words raw and exposed when nothing in his eyes or face changed. "We fought, she and I, amongst those creatures, exchanging blows and she _surprised _me, Naruto." Sasuke lifted his head fully to look Naruto in the eye, deliberately letting slip the iron control over his face, because in the heart of their surroundings were two men trying to communicate, one with skills that were sorely rusting from years of neglect. "She surprised me, because she moved as I hadn't expected. _She was good_."

A genuine smile filled with pure joy stole over Sasuke's face, lighting up features and making Sasuke appear as he was: a healthy, beautiful young man of twenty-two years. It was a look so alien that Naruto nearly pinched himself to see if he were dreaming. "She blossomed, Naruto; she went from a timid bud hiding beneath scraggly shrub to a vine that has overtaken the south wall, limbs heavy with bright blossoms and the air deadly-sweet with their scents. I _will not have _such a gift wrenched up by its roots and chained to a fate like mine, left to wilt and wither away."

Then the smile was gone and Sasuke's old mask yanked over, sending Naruto in a dizzy fit and ready to demand that Sasuke put that smile back on his face and enjoy life, stop sulking 'cause it's going to give you wrinkles! Argh! Who would want to sexually harass such a sour old prune with a chip on his shoulder large enough to deserve its own zip code, anyway?

"She was caught in the gas, you said." Sasuke's gaze pinned Naruto; Sasuke had reached a goal with his words and he was zeroing in with deadly accuracy. Naruto felt the palms of his hands become sticky with sweat, and he rubbed them against his trousers. "That was six days ago. The effects of the gas should have worn off in the first thirty-six hours."

Naruto nodded his head once, firmly. "S' why there's so much doubt about her. Word has it that if the gas isn't supposed to be permanent, then there can only be two reasons for her actions."

"She's lying," Sasuke said, making connections instantly with Naruto's words, or perhaps finally revealing some thought processing of earlier, "or the gas triggered an underlying brain disorder- no, _exacerbated _something she had been skilled at hiding for so long."

Naruto made a face. "Exacerbated? Nuh uh. That's not what they're saying."

"Not yet, no. But for someone who has always considered her mind to be her greatest asset, a carefully hoarded treasure because it was all she had to help her realize her own self when she was surrounded by countless others whose talents garnered more attention? Far more destructive it is to insinuate there _always was _something wrong with her, rather than leave room to ease pain by holding an external, uncontrollable, unstoppable factor responsible.

"Naruto, no one has expected me for nearly a decade. I have long been out of anyone's calculations. When I entered the caves, no one knew it but Sakura and Kiba. My presence appears to have gone unnoticed, and thus plans may be unaltered. I bear witness to what someone has taken the pains to carefully destroy so the truth remains masqueraded. All that effort - for _what_? And if it was meant to hide the truth, then why is _Sakura _still alive, _even to this very day_?"

Something cold burned in Naruto as he felt something click inside his mind, and the jigsaw pieces that so frustrated him with their inability to connect and show him a picture began to fall in place. A hole of misunderstanding filled there. A misconception corrected here. Answers given, questions solved. His rage, white-hot and simmering, changed in texture and size. It grew within him, chilling in its icy intensity; it was a rage that silently stalked and ambushed _his _buffers - justice, fairness, and a usually unerring ability to believe there was something good in everyone but Orochimaru, Itachi, and the evil old lady with her equally evil seven cats who lived on the floor beneath him - leaving them gagged and trussed up in a locked cupboard where they wouldn't get in his way.

Naruto didn't want to get back -

"Sakura-chan..."

- Naruto didn't want to stop -

"_She's _the next experiment."

"Yes. An experiment that tests how many wounds the human _spirit _can endure before becoming irrevocably crippled."

- Naruto wanted to get _even_.


	9. Chapter 9

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Demeter1 made me do it.

* * *

For the life of her, Sakura could not remember what happened after she tumbled out of the cave with Kakashi. People often would speak of how they remembered one set of events crystal-clear, but things occurring afterwards happened in a blur. She couldn't even think of a blur. Deeply disturbed, Sakura was reluctant to take her scheduled dose of morphine, since it did have amnesiac properties, but the line of pain that crept from one point just a little to the side in her lower back and spiraled down her leg burned with a ferocity she could not ignore.

She carefully measured the blue-colored liquid in its little cup, lifted it eye-level to assure herself of the right dosage, and dutifully gulped it down. She carefully jotted down the time and dosage on the small piece of paper always kept on hand with the morphine. Her training had been beaten into her, mostly figuratively, but there were a few literal times. (Or maybe more; most of those were too blurry to recall accurately.) Not even something as massive as reality reasserting itself without taking her into account was going to make her slack and careless.

_Someone had already died for it-_ She stopped that line of thought before it could deteriorate into assailing doubts. Clinging to the counter with her good arm, pushing the cup along with her, she pulled herself to her sink. Her leg f_e_lt like a useless lump of flesh she had been chained to as punishment for neglecting her duties. _Let the punishment fit the crime ..._ In truth, Sakura was frightened of becoming addicted to morphine. She knew that if she took enough, it would dull her doubts and guilt as easily as it removed the sharp edge of pain, but that was too dangerous - too tempting. People in pain often became addicted to the pain medication when the pain was not treated.

But Sakura was a ninja - she was used to pain; she expected it, really. _No pain, no gain. No guts, no glory._ She giggled as a picture of Naruto danced through her head, doing a ridiculous wagging dance of victory. She rinsed the cup out in the sink, and left it turned up to dry. She then moved to the stove to where a small portion of the chicken noodle soup (made with ramen) had been warming. She didn't feel like eating, but she knew she had to consume something, and had available a ready-made meal with enough leftovers to last her a week - _if _she somehow managed to keep Naruto from her fridge. Between him and Kiba, there was a reason people wondered how she managed to maintain her weight no matter how often she frequented the marketplace.

Thinking of Kiba and how he was no longer going to raid her fridge ("See, I _was _at Neji's, but he threatened to thump me sixty-four times, and while _you _leave a nasty bruise, _his _thumps sting like a bitch. Yeah, I left some of the turkey. That's 'cause when I went to Naruto's, he had, like, this wrinkly onion in his fridge that closely resembled one of our oh-so-esteemed Hokages - no names mentioned of course, or even gender - so I know he's going to be hungry too. Waddya mean what are you going to get? Geez, your fridge is packed! I'm sure you can find _something _in there to eat. Hey, do you have any more of that sweetmustard? Goes really good on my turkey sandwich and you seem to be out.") left Sakura to wonder if this was a blessing in disguise, and if it was the best silver lining she could find in her storm clouds, then it was little wonder why she was so depressed.

"Oh, I dunno," Kiba said from the kitchen stool he suddenly appeared on. "If you really want me to raid your fridge, I could. Akamaru would just love to polish off what I couldn't eat."

"I'm sure he would," Sakura said caustically as she turned the heat off and removed the soup. "Except at the rate in which you couldn't eat, poor Akamaru would be fat and in need of a triple bypass." She carried it to the table, and then sat down on her chair with a solid thump. She stared at the soup and felt too drained to scoop it into her bowl. She knew it was unladylike to eat food straight from the pot, but who was going to complain? Mister Manners, who had felt he was close enough to Sakura that it didn't matter if he belched and scratched himself in obscene places?

"You're just jealous because women have never figured out how to do _that _themselves with as much grace as we do."

Sakura snorted and drew the pot near. She lifted it close and blew on it, gently stirring the steam that curled from the top. Kiba watched her for a few seconds, and then moved close.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," he said, placing an almost-transparent hand upon it and forcing it down. Sakura felt a small tremor run through both her arms.

"Why?" she asked. With a knowing smile, Kiba turned and looked at the door. Sakura turned also, just in time to see the doorknob turn and the door swing open. Kakashi didn't even hesitate or slow when he saw Sakura sitting at the table, staring wide-eyed at him.

"Ah, I see you are awake. Excellent." He made a beeline for her fridge, and Sakura frowned unhappily as he opened it and stuck his head inside. "What's for lunch?" he asked nonchalantly.

"_I _was going to have chicken noodle soup," Sakura said weakly. She wrung her hands as Kakashi removed a platter of week-old turkey from her fridge and sniffed. Why did it feel like she should just hang a sign outside her front door that proclaimed to the world: "SAKURA'S FRIDGE IS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC - HELP YOURSELF"?

"Got any sweetmustard to go with this?" Kakashi asked with interest as he turned to her. Sakura shrugged her shoulders, not really seeing why _she _had to be the one to supply sweetmustard. She hated the stuff; if the guys were going to insist on congregating to her place and raiding her turkey and bread, then the least they could do was bring their own sweetmustard.

Just as Kakashi was setting the platter of turkey on the counter, there was series of booming knocks on her door, and Tenten burst through it like a typhoon. In her hand she carried a large, covered wok from which drifted the most delicious smell. She set the wok on the table (which bent slightly from its weight), and then slapped her left hand firmly against the tabletop, since her right arm was missing just below the shoulder.

"All right!" Tenten declared loudly. "I heard you weren't feeling so hot from your trip, and that you incurred some sort of injury, so I made my famous dumplings!"

Oh no. Ooooh noooooo. Tenten hadn't been on any missions in over a year, when most of her team had been slaughtered in a surprise pincher attack. Sakura had been returning from another mission when she came across the carnage. Tenten's life was saved with Sakura's skills, but Sakura's skills could not save Tenten's destroyed right arm. _That is one shame I shall not bear. All of us here are lucky and more grateful than words can describe that she even survived those days before being found. _Ever since, Tenten had sworn she was forever in Sakura's debt, but would do her best to repay it with a lifetime's supply of her dumplings.

Ooooooh noooo.

And, because _everyone_ knew of the declaration, Sakura had a sneaking suspicion of what would happen next if word got out.

Just at that moment and seemingly right on cue, Shikamaru ambled into her kitchen _by way of the living room _without announcement, his hands firmly jammed in his pockets. Tenten whipped around on her feet and glared at Shikamaru. "What are you doing here?" she demanded suspiciously. Then she glanced over his shoulder, undoubtedly as curious as Sakura was to know why he had even been in her living room for who knew how long.

"I," said Shikamaru with a lackluster tone, "came to see how Sakura was doing." Then a glimmer of energy appeared in his eyes as he turned his gaze upon the wok. "May as well stick around for lunch," he said. Without so much as a how-do-you-do to Sakura, he pulled a chair out beside her and settled.

There was a series of loud bumps and thumps before Lee's head popped into view before Sakura's kitchen window. "Sakura-san!" he declared loudly. "I heard you were back and but not doing well - oooh, Tenten's dumplings!" He hurried past her window and came through her kitchen door, which banged against the wall and hung open. Gaara hmmm-ed in greeting as he sauntered past the window and entered the house after Lee. He didn't bother to close the door behind himself. Sakura hadn't even realized the red-haired man was in Konoha, much less that he liked Tenten's dumplings. _Now _events were beginning to smell like a setup.

Sakura glanced at Kakashi, who noticed and gave her an apologetic smile.

As soon as Tenten stepped back from politely and silently shutting the kitchen door behind Gaara, it burst open as Typhoon Naruto blew through, dragging a protesting Akamaru in behind him on -

"A LEASH?" Kiba descended on Naruto in fury. "You ignorant beast! How _dare _you put _my dog _on a leash like some kind of a common animal!"

Naruto, ignorant of whose wrath he had just incurred, probably because Kiba was too nice of a ghost to turn poltergeist and hurl Sakura's mother's fine bone china at blond morons, smiled winningly at Sakura and lifted the leash as if to display a trophy. "I found Akamaru wandering outside the walls so I brought him back to you, Sakura-chan."

"Gotta piss," Akamaru grumbled in Inner Sakura's voice as he eyed Naruto's trousered leg. He lifted one back leg to vigorously scratch an ear, dust and fur flying. "Can I have some dumplings, too?"

"Hey!" Naruto eyed Tenten's wok. "Are those your dumplings? This is great! I'm starving!"

"So am I!" cried another voice just as Chouji burst through the door, his bulk filling it from frame to frame. "Everyone came for dumplings and no one told me?" He glared at the others, but stepped forward to line up for a helping. UNlike Naruto and Gaara, he was polite enough to close Sakura's kitchen door.

"Ah hah!" Ino and Hinata's heads appeared in Sakura's kitchen window. "So this," said Ino in a firm tone, "is where everyone has been hiding out." She turned to Hinata. "Come on, you need to eat something." Ino hurried to enter the kitchen before the dumplings could disappear down greedy gullets, proceeded by Hinata's belly, and finally Hinata herself, who was rarely seen now that she had gotten past the seventh month mark and refused to be more than a hundred steps away from a bathroom. Sakura wondered how Ino managed to drag the pregnant woman halfway across Konoha, even if they had known Tenten and her dumplings would be making an (oh so brief) appearance at Sakura's place. (Sakura was also beginning to think, for the good of her kitchen door and wall, she ought to install a revolving door.)

"Hey!" Chouji cuffed Naruto across the head as Naruto wrapped a few dumplings within an almost-clean handkerchief. "Don't be greedy! Save some for the others."

"I am! I am! These are for someone who can't be here right now!"

Sakura stared wide-eyed at her unannounced guests. She hadn't seen all of them together like this since, well, since the last time Tenten had made her dumplings. It didn't matter if everyone was supposed to be scattered across three countries. One-armed or not, Tenten was not only still the best markswoman in Konoha, but she made the best dumplings, too.

Kiba, sitting next to Akamaru on the floor, was grousing of how his induction ceremony at the memorial didn't attract as nearly many people, or with as much enthusiasm. He knew he should have put a note in his will of how he wanted Tenten to preside over the reception - that would have guaranteed mourners her dumplings. And although most of them wouldn't have mourned, at least he could say people turned out.

Sakura, unable to recall if Kiba had been inducted yet or not (had_ she_ attended?), much less even having a will, would have told him off, explaining that he had slept with so many people that they would be too embarrassed to show their faces. But she had a feeling that Kiba would snidely point out that, contrary to popular rumor, he had better taste than to sleep with half of Konoha.

A tenth, maybe, but not half.

"Is this a private party-" Konohamaru's head popped into view in her kitchen window, "-or can anyone join?" Then, before he could be shooed off, he pulled himself through Sakura's window and marched over to stand in line. Kakashi cuffed him along side the head and told him it was rude to come through a young lady's window like a scoundrel with ill intentions. To which Konohamaru pointed out that he knew precisely where Kakashi had slept the other night and he wasn't suicidal enough to interrupt.

Sakura sputtered a protest, but Ino waved Konohamaru quiet with a wave of her hand. "If you want to volunteer to keep Sakura company at night and make sure she follows the doctor's orders - because I hear she's been appallingly uncooperative - you feel free to. But you'll probably have to sleep in that damn lumpy chair. Sakura, I've been telling you for years to throw that piece of junk out, but do you listen to me? Oh, no!" Kakashi's expression remained blank, but Sakura frowned unhappily because the only time she had been uncooperative was when she hadn't been getting the sleep and rest she needed.

And she _had _been sitting a lot.

And, uh, maybe throwing people around was probably breaking her lifting limit.

Okay, so maybe she _had _been a bit uncooperative_. But no one is perfect! I mean, look at Kiba over there - he botched his own death! _

"I resent that! How could I have botched my own death when I _still _wound up dead in the first place?"

Sakura briefly wondered who would do dishes, but it appeared that Ino and Tenten had quietly and effectively taken over her kitchen, handing out napkins and bowls, telling the men they would wash their own dishes and place them neatly on the rack to dry, take turns and - hey! Naruto! How many of those dumplings are you trying to hide in your pockets?

Hinata, have an extra. You _are _eating for two, right now.

Back in line, Kakashi! Cutting is not fair!

Here, Sakura, have six or seven. You'll need all the energy you can get.

Did anyone ever alert Neji about what we're doing? No?

Oh great, who's feeling suicidal enough to tell him he missed out?

Mum's the word, right?

Yeah; what he don't know won't hurt the rest of us.

Except Ino talks in her sleep, so it's likely he's going to find out about it.

Hey!

Oh, you're going to make something of it now?

You fight, you do not get dumplings!

But fight anyway, 'cause then it means more for us. Ouch! Watch what you do with that chopstick, Tenten, Sakura-chan has enough holes in her place as it is. That large one over there? Gee, I dunno where that could possibly have come from (cough cough). Yeah. Uh. Er. Here, Kakashi-sensei, let me get that for you!

Sakura wondered what sanity was like, even if it only involved itself with her environment, as voices and faces melted together, reality once more reshaping itself. The texture of appearances changed, the tone of voices blending together until she couldn't distinguish by sound. She tried not to let it bother her, because that would only upset her well-meaning guests. No matter how uninvited they were.

_On the other hand, _she silently mused with a touch of hopeful happiness, _given the company I've always kept, when has my environment _ever _been sane?_

oOoOoOo

After the dumplings had been consumed (except the ones Naruto were stubbornly saving, refusing to explain who they were been saved for, and threatening to pulverize anyone who demanded any - except Hinata, who actually did receive one when she gave him a look closely resembling the one Akamaru had plastered on his face as he also sat staring balefully at Naruto, although Sakura suspected Akamaru's expression had more to do with the leash and/or protesting bladder than it did the dumplings), everyone traversed from Sakura's kitchen and crowded her sitting room, lounging on the floor and exchanging wild stories of various adventures and exploits.

Considering some of the people involved, the exploits were very, um, unbelievable. Naruto didn't participate much, mostly grinning and laughing with the other listeners. As they often did when they were all together, Lee, Konohamaru, and Ino heckled Naruto about the infamous village he somehow lost and demanded to know how he managed to do it, but Naruto clamped his jaw shut and refused to tell.

"That," Kakashi told them firmly, like the quiet chaperon he seemed to be most of the evening, "is classified information that can only be supplied by Tsunade."

Kiba leaned over the back of the chair Sakura was curled up in, trying to ignore the spreading ache of pain because it wasn't yet time for her next dose of morphine. She was just a little outside the group - close enough to belong, but far enough not to be involved very often, because she felt drained and the group seemed to sense that she should conserve her energy. Kiba caressed a ghost-hand up and down her bare arm, and she felt the tiny hairs stir in response to the touch of cold nothingness. She ordinarily would have protested against such an intimate touch, but it oriented and grounded her to a reality that seemed much more solid than the other.

"I know what it is!" Kiba whispered in a sing-song voice. "I know how Naruto lost the village!"

"Oh?" Sakura whispered back with a conspirator's glee. "And how do you?"

Kiba smirked and continued in his sing-song voice. "I'm not telling! The secret stays with me," he added dramatically, "even to my very death! Because if I told, then it wouldn't be a secret. Not to mention I'm sure that Naruto is quite capable of making a guy hurt, even dead."

_Maybe, but could he hurt someone else's hallucination?_ Sakura wasn't sure.

Her energy waned after that. Kakashi, keeping a keen eye on her, began to tactfully shoo the others home. He politely offered to accompany Hinata and Ino back to their homes, and Hinata beamed with pleasure and gratefully accepted, since there were a few quick chores that needed doing but her belly kept getting in the way, and dear Shino wasn't due back from his mission for another two days. Ino quickly objected, saying she would be glad to loan her husband out. Cousins should help one another, right?

Yeah, but Neji was on a mission with Sai and they wasn't supposed to be back until tomorrow.

Oh, that's right – Ino had forgotten that she was going to have the bed to herself again.

Lee left with Tenten, insisting that he ought to carry her wok. Gaara snidely commented that Lee was probably just hoping that Tenten had more dumplings tucked away.

"Why, of course!" Tenten declared as she traced a finger at the line of her throat and gave a flirtatious flutter of her eyelashes. "I _always _have some dumplings tucked away, Gaara-sama. You're most certainly welcome," she smacked her lips invitingly and angled her body to display her cleavage to its utmost appealing prowess, "to join Lee in consumption." Lee's face burned bright red as Gaara stared stone-faced at Tenten, then burst into laughter that continued long after their departure.

"Well," said Konohamaru, rising to his feet, "I best be going, too."

"I highly suggest you use the door," Sakura called, "instead of my window, this time."

Konohamaru waved a hand. "Yeah, yeah. Don't use the entrance as the exit, I know." Yawning behind his hand, Shikamaru followed after with Chouji.

Naruto insisted on staying put, at least until Kakashi returned. There was a spark in his eyes that made Sakura wonder what other sort of conspiracy he had contrived, since she was fairly sure alerting everyone to Tenten's dumplings had been his work - or maybe not, because they _were _Tenten's dumplings.

Before Sakura could say anything, Akamaru lifted a leg and scratched an ear once more. "Gotta piss," he muttered again. He dropped the leg and thrust a cold, wet nose against Naruto's bare hand. "Get me outta the house so I can mark some territory before I do your leg."

"Absolutely not!" Sakura declared hotly, appalled at the idea. She glared at Kiba, who contrived to look innocent. "I thought you said he was housebroken!"

"He is!" Kiba protested. He glared at his dog. "And don't mark the foundation, either."

Naruto looked confused and Sakura couldn't blame him, since it almost sounded like she was protesting against his staying. Then he looked down at Akamaru, and a sad look crossed his face. Sakura sighed when she saw it. "Akamaru needs to be let out briefly to take care of some business," she said. "While you're doing that, I'm going to get some pajamas on." She carefully stood up, guarding her aching leg. Naruto studied her for a moment, and then smiled.

"Right," he said. He tugged on the leash as he headed for the door.

"And remove that ugly contraption while you're at it!" Kiba yelled after him. He turned to see Sakura glaring at him. "What?" he asked.

"You are not coming along to see me change in pajamas. Go with him," she commanded Kiba firmly, pointing after Naruto.

Kiba leered. "But I've already-"

"Go!"

"Fine, fine. You just don't appreciate a man who appreciates a well-proportioned woman."

Sakura watched Kiba disappear through the door that Naruto and Akamaru had left by, and then limped up the stairs to her bedroom. She settled for her pink silk pajamas - not because they were pink or because they were silk, but because she could remove her arm from its sling and push it through the wide sleeve without wincing. She had difficulty buttoning the front one-handed, but was proud of herself for the little bit of success. As she was re-slinging her arm, she heard the wood of her bedroom windowsill creak ominously.

Sakura froze at the sound, feeling her heart thud in her chest as a cold feeling swept through the room. She turned slowly, half-dreading what she might see, and then her heart shuddered to a temporary, rather shocking, stop.

Sasuke crouched on her windowsill, dressed all in slate-gray creeping clothes, his arms resting upon his knees as he studied her with an unreadable expression. He looked sleek and deadly, and Sakura fingered her sling for a moment, unsure of what to say since he regarded her in silence and made no further moves.

"What do you want?" she asked finally.

He smiled, though it wouldn't reach his empty eyes. "Hello."

_two bodies crashing into one another fate against chaos snarling animals kunai into wailing child's eye no child no mercy black-hearted black hole - _

Sakura stumbled back a step and ground the palm of her hand against her eyes. She felt a tremor run through her body. "Get out," she said softly, not trusting her voice. If she screamed for Naruto, would he come running? No, she had to face this demon on her own.

Whether Sasuke was himself a demon, or just a demon of a hallucination, could be argued at a later time in which she felt saner.

"I can't do that." Sasuke moved gracefully from the windowsill to her bedroom floor, his movements economical but liquid-smooth. Eight years of whatever he was doing had made him into a fine man, physically, but Sakura shuddered in wonder of his mental and moral health. How corrupt had he become?

She stumbled a step back as he approached. "Stay back," she hissed. "I'm warning you - don't come any closer."

Sasuke stood still for a moment, and then cocked his head to the side. "I wouldn't worry," he said with a voice that cut her to the heart, "insanity isn't contagious."

Rage exploded in Sakura's mind before she realized she was moving - lunging across the room at Sasuke, meaning to take those words and cram them down his throat. His eyes widened in surprise, but he caught her and they fell over backwards.

They wrestled on the floor; laughably pathetic in how small were their struggles. Sakura's back screamed with pain and her arm was caught in its sling. Sasuke was trying to pin her while avoiding the use of any tactics that would be effective in stopping a rampaging bull, and trying not to get squashed like a bug. They knocked over furniture, got tangled up in Sakura's throw rug, and somewhere in all the ruckus, the buttons that held her pajama top together were ripped away, and scattered across the floor like pink pearls.

Sakura, wide-eyed and cursing, panic edging her thoughts as she rolled onto her stomach beneath Sasuke, looked up and froze as she noticed Kiba and Akamaru seated together across from her, their backs against the wall, beside her ajar bedroom door. Kiba was frowning and shaking his head as the sight while two mini-Kibas, one with a pair of devil horns and tail and the other with a crooked halo and fluffy white wings, perched on his knees and munching popcorn.

"Shame Sasuke wasn't a chick," the devil-Kiba said. "It would improve the show's rating."

"And," said the angel-Kiba, "both of them greased up. Although, I dunno, Sasuke is pretty enough for a chick, and it's not like we ever cared about whether or not who we had sex with was male or female."

"True, true. But a guy wrestling with a girl just doesn't have the same shi-_zam_! of two chicks going at it."

Desperately close to tears, Sakura surged beneath Sasuke, but he hooked an ankle behind hers and yanked, sending both of them onto the floor again.

"Stop him!" Inner Sakura/Akamaru shrieked like an angry feminist with an agenda. "You must protect the sanctity of your virginity!"

Kiba choked on the bit of popcorn he had somehow snatched from the two mini-Kibas. Pounding his chest, Kiba gave Akamaru a wide-eyed glare. "I've slept with enough women to know the difference between an inexperienced woman and a virgin, and Sakura was very much the former!"

Inner Sakura/Akamaru sniffed. "You pig."

"Hey, I made sure she enjoyed it!"

"Pig."

"And _you_ were there, _helping_ everything right along!"

"Pig - what? _When _was _this_? Kick 'im where it counts, Sakura!"

Sakura swung her slung arm around to knock Sasuke backwards, but he gently batted it aside. Why weren't they helping her? The burning bitterness of betrayal roiled in her stomach as she fought back to the tears. Kiba wasn't helping her. He was sitting and gossiping while she struggled, unless this apparition was just another hallucination. Doubts assailing, Sakura surged beneath Sasuke again, and his arms slipped around to find purchase and balance. One hand, quite by chance, cupped a breast, fingers unexpectedly sweeping across a nipple and sending a surge of hot pleasure through the pit of her stomach and making various girly bits tingle unexpectedly.

She burst into frightened tears. "Don't rape me!" Sakura was a ninja; she had the strength of ten others and was quite capable of fending off any assailants who tried to invade her space and destroy what was supposed to be given with free tenderness. But she could not stop the barrage of doubts. How could she fight a hallucination? How did a person capture the wind with a sieve?

Every time Sakura thought she reached the end of her limits, when there remained nothing left of reality to destroy, there was always _something _to be broken. This, she knew, she could never recover. It wouldn't matter if it was a hallucination or not; the lingering aftermath would be all the same. It would be the crescendo of her downfall. "D-don't rape me!"

Sasuke was suddenly gone, the hallucination chased away by her broken pleas. Kiba's soft whistle of understanding slipped overhead while Sakura's mind reeled and spun her fears into a vivid tapestry. Snatching the open ends of her pajama top and jamming them together in a single fist, sobbing in fright, Sakura rolled to her back and sat upright to find herself face to face with Sasuke. He looked aghast, his skin blanched and lips twisted in self-hatred, eyes narrowed and glittering.

"How can you say that?" he asked in a soft voice that was powerful in its intensity and shaking from horror. He clutched at his shirt just over his heart, as if a lover whom he had bent to kiss had stabbed him. Then, in the voice of someone who had seen the light at the end of the tunnel only to realize it was a train barreling down the tracks out-of-control, he whispered, "How could _I _do that? _Why_?"

He dropped his eyes to look at her open pajama top, turned his gaze modestly to the side, and slowly curled the fingers that had been so invasive. Rip apart a teenaged girl's coveted daydreams and you get someone who moped and then moved on. Accidentally grab something that naturally protrudes, even if it wasn't much even by the average standard, and you shatter the entire self.

Sakura's mouth opened and closed. How was she to explain what had been spoken only moments ago? How could she condense her feelings, frustrations, and fears into a simple sentence that explained her words, expressed all that had happened, and apologized for the pain she had inflicted upon him. Instead, she said, "What _do_ you want?" and restrained herself from wincing at how cold and hateful it sounded.

He looked up, and she flinched at the intensity of his eyes. In the cavern, surrounded by creatures imprisoned in cages, Sakura had thought him devoid of life and energy. Now, Sasuke was filled with energy - no, he was filled with chaos, and it was brimming from him through his body, as if a dam had been released and the waters were raging forward to smash apart country sides and forever change the lay of the land. Still, she bravely met his simmering gaze, and then studied him carefully. His body was coiled tight, muscles taut as he held the chaos at bay beneath his porcelain skin. He folded his legs beneath him as if he meant to stay awhile.

As she watched him, Sasuke lifted one limp arm and irritably brushed his bangs from his eyes with stiff fingers hooked like claws. _Oh my; Sasuke-kun's too young to have arthritis._

The world stopped suddenly, jarring Sakura to the smallest cell. It resumed with a shudder like an infant drawing its first breath of air.

Sasuke was beautiful, and he manipulated his body to perform things that were remarkable even by her standards as a ninja. That had always been apparent when they were children, and she knew it would only grow as he matured. She had imagined what Sasuke would become over the years, the pinnacle of the potential he exhibited. Graceful, powerful, the svelte night to Naruto's bright day, Sakura thought Sasuke to be a sleek predator - like the black jaguar preying in the night.

But his arms, hands, fingers - it was like a marionette manipulated them. Skillful, yes; graceful, indeed. One had to be, if a person was expected to see the puppet and not the strings. Sakura could almost imagine the strings that were attached, could faintly see the faceless mastermind deftly controlling the appendages. It wasn't _Sasuke_; these were the arms of a different person, attached to his body against all the laws of nature.

Unsure of what to do, she turned her back to Sasuke and looked at Kiba for confirmation, and then glared accusingly as she trembled with humiliation and fear. Wryly, apologetically, Kiba shrugged.

"That's it?" Her voice grated, close to breaking, as she stared at Kiba, knowing her heart was in her eyes and how apparent her betrayal felt. She heard the sharply-drawn hiss of air behind her - knew that Sasuke probably took personal the words directed to the shadow or hallucination of a dearly departed, though oftentimes obnoxious, friend.

"Sakura!" Kiba threw his hands into the air. "You two were hardly trying to fight - not like the way you and Naruto created an air conditioning system that's going to drive your heating bills through the roof in the winter - and I can't predict how you're going to leap from suspicion to suspicion like a hyperactive schizophrenic! It's like being chained to Naruto and thereby forced to follow the guy on a, on a, uh, a caffeine buzz! You get jerked everywhere and can't catch your breath enough to react!" Sakura hunched forward at his words, wincing at what a simpleton she felt like as Kiba's clear-cut observations stripped away the illusions with which she had smothered reality. Or her anti-reality created. Or something.

She needed medication, yeah, that was it. Morphine.

"And besides," Kiba said with a sulk and a flippant wave of his hand at Sasuke, "Sasuke isn't the sort to rape women. Even if he _weren't _impotent." It was Inner Sakura/Akamaru's turn to choke in shock. "Yeah," Kiba told the hybrid in a low voice, sarcasm dribbling off the words, "hard to lose one's virginity to someone who can't get it up, ain't it?"

"Ack! Too much information!" Inner Sakura/Akamaru cried in dismay. Then, "Wait - how did _you _know that Sasuke's impotent?"

"That is part and parcel to a long, man-to-man, heart-to-heart talk we had two years ago," Kiba said snidely. "And I have no intention of revealing any more than that. Dead men tell no tales, after all."

"It's amazing," angel-Kiba said with his mouth stuffed with popcorn, wet bits spraying from his mouth as he spoke, "how people can go from trying to kill one another to spilling their guts. Figuratively speaking, since the former often can lead, quite literally and with a sharp knife, to the latter."

Sakura turned wide-eyed to look at Sasuke, fingers twisting together in shame and horror as she realized, no how matter how frightened she was, that he hadn't meant her any harm while she had struck him twice with one blow. Once, to his personhood as a friend who would never betray another in such a brutal way (well, not including the whole run-off-with-a-mad-man-sell-your-soul-for-power thingy eight years ago); and twice, by calling attention to the shortcomings in which he was probably already acutely aware of without extra aid on her behalf.

"I'm not here," Sasuke took a deep breath and spoke through gritted teeth, "_not_ here to grind your remains to dirt. Sakura, please believe me when I say I am here to _help you." _

_Why_? she wanted to ask. Instead, Sakura leaned forward and pointed at his arms, trying not to look below the level of his belt. "What's wrong with your arms?"

Sasuke's expression went wooden, and she saw the flickering of chaos wiped out - dismissed, by something or someone whose control was beyond her understanding. "These?" He lifted the arms. They were stiff, elbows crooked and the angle of wrists and shoulders gangly and uncomfortable-looking. "These are the constant physical reminders of what I have become."

"I don't understand."

"No." Though his face was slack, the bitterness in Sasuke's voice made her flinch and twist her fingers more. "No." He closed his eyes and sighed once more. "It's too long of a story," he told Sakura in a world-weary voice, "and I haven't the strength to tell you."

"Will you ever?" she asked softly.

He looked at her for a long time, eyes unreadable, face aged beyond his years. "Someday, yes. For now, I can only say the experiences I have survived in these eight years place me in a _unique_ position, one in which I know and I understand what it is you suffer." Oh, lovely. _Finally_, someone who knows what was going on.

Sasuke unfolded himself and then pulled himself upright on his knees to look Sakura eye to eye. He was, to her combined delight and dismay, the same height as she on her knees. Slowly, carefully as to not alarm her, Sasuke shuffled forward. Sakura tensed as he encroached on her personal space, a hair away from pressing his body against her own. His eyes capturing hers, unblinking and unmoving, Sasuke lifted his stiff arms. Sakura flinched at the movement in the corner of her eyes, and cringed when she realized it was those horrible, horrible things.

Sasuke gave her a smile that was old, jaded, and filled with regret. "I never thought I would ask this from anyone, but may I give you a hug?"

Sakura studied his face, keenly aware of just how close he was. She tore her gaze from his own and dropped it, studying the contour of his body beneath the clothes. She knew that it was a powerful body, and could guess how the muscles, hidden beneath those layers, would be well-defined and aesthetically pleasing in proportion. She had had physical contact with that body, first in the caves when they fought and then here, on her _bedroom _floor. She knew he had a body, and she knew what the male body contained, because that was an important part of her anatomy and physiology class. And besides, when you worked in the hospital as much as she did, the human body was usually demoted from personal to impersonal, like a chair in the corner, because it was what dwelled _in _that body, and what made that body _move _and _express _itself that was so important.

But here - here she was a woman, and Sasuke was a man, and she was acutely, uncomfortably, and intensely aware of their distance and nearness in tandem and the many thousands of possibilities with which the air was pregnant. She suddenly felt vulnerable and exposed, like a sacrificial maiden thrust at the foot of the beast. It wasn't just their bodies she was aware of, but also the force that was Sasuke in his personality and intellect, constrained and alien to what she had known eight years ago. It was a stranger, with her somewhat-former friend's matured face and voice and memories, all ravaged by time itself, who knelt before her with those _ugly, ugly _arms upraised in the air and waiting patiently for her permission.

Despite a flushed feeling that was pricking her skin from knees to scalp there was a cold breeze somewhere coming from that hole she or Naruto had made (neither could really recall who did and both wanted to pin the responsibility and cost of repair on the other) and probably her bedroom window, because there really wasn't any other reason for her nipples to perk the way they did.

"Schizophrenic thought process," Inner Sakura/Akamaru said, as if that was the only explanation the hybrid could possibly create, "and mixed bipolar tendencies, if there's anything to her moods bouncing up and down like a bungee jumper on heroin." Sakura caught their reflection in the floor-length mirror that showed her peering over Sasuke's shoulders, which were broader than she first noticed, _and_ at what she now realized was a very nice ass.

_Oooh, yeaaah!_ chanted the tingly bits.

Kiba silently and carefully swung the bedroom door closed as the two mini-Kibas catcalled. "Hoo hah! We get some action to-_night_!" demon-Kiba declared with a lusty delight.

"She needed to get laid here anyway," said angel-Kiba with a knowing nod of his head. "The sexual tension between her and Kakashi is driving me insane and you know neither of them are going to make a move while either or both are sober." Funny; how come Sakura hadn't noticed that sexual tension? "Oh, come on! He was in your bed and you didn't even make the moves on him?"

"Cold breeze?" Kiba asked with narrowed eyes. He grinned suggestively at Sakura in the mirror. "I can give you very specific details on other ways to make nipples _perk_." He moved suddenly, the mini-Kibas tumbling from his knees and melting into the floors. Before Sakura could blink, Kiba was kneeling behind her, as apart and as close as Sasuke was before her, his arms lifted up in the air in a mocking mimicry. He leered at Sakura, their gazes meeting in the mirror. She felt a tingling rush down her back as a memory - a warm body pressed flush against her own from behind as both were on their knees, hot mouth sucking at the skin where neck met shoulder, pleasure and lust burning in the pit of her stomach and elsewhere as the fingers of one hand twisted and teased at the junction between her parted thighs while the fingers of the other hand explored the contours of her breast, nerves singing and her body just on the edge and not permitted to topple, while Kiba's husky voice underscored it all as he whispered against her skin not yet, not yet, you gotta learn to _savor that tingle _- flashed vividly through her mind, all senses instantly stimulated in recall, body aroused from zero to all in that instant.

Kiba smirked as he held her gaze, dropping his chin to her shoulder. She felt the press of weight at the same spot that mouth had left its mark, amid such a swirl of ecstasy so many adventures ago. "Ah, Sakura," Kiba breathed softly, lifting his head and teasing the shell of her ear with his tongue, "you _reek _of pheromones. And _he's _caught the scent as well. Oh - and what I said about that impotence?" Kiba's arms circled around Sakura's head so his fingers could lightly trace Sasuke's jaw, his voice dropping into one of those conspiracy whisper that everyone not deaf could hear, "It's more like you gotta give the man some time to _respond_. Well, a _lot _of time." He disappeared then, blinking out of sight and leaving her to stare at the mirror's reflection of two persons. Sasuke's back was ramrod straight and possibly as stiff and _that_, she knew, had not been so before.

Sakura jerked her attention from the mirror and shifted, head tilting back as she turned and looked into Sasuke's eyes - and saw sharingan, but not much because the pupils were dilated enough to nearly swallow up the red; a stiff, unreadable expression on Sasuke's face that could mean any number of things. He held himself tight again, a soft trembling in his arms, his breathing deepening in rate and depth. Sakura had a sudden vision of tipping Sasuke over and watching him shatter when his stiffened body struck the floor.

His facial expression, Sakura realized, was that of a wild animal ready to bolt. Slowly, she released her pajama top and lifted her arms upward, knowing that it would fall open and expose herself. As her fingertips brushed against the skin of his face, Sasuke's head jerked backward in surprise, pupils dilating more than she had thought possible. She waited a moment, then ran her touch along the line of his jaw, swept it over his cheekbone, and brushed a lock of hair from his temple.

"Sasuke." Her breath whispered over his skin, and his eyes widened. "You can give me a hug, but only if I can hug you back."

"A compromise," he said stiffly.

"Meet me halfway."

"Fine." Tension surmounting, Sakura made the first move, pressing her slinged arm against his side and wrapping the good arm around his muscular torso, nearly overwhelmed by the masculinity of someone she had last seen barely out of boyhood, his hot scent tickling her senses. She felt stiff arms encircle her, sliding to find a grip since the owner hardly knew what to do with them even, she suspected, when he wasn't using them to wrap around a young, cute woman with a pained back and arm and uh, well, they were _perky _breasts which Sakura always felt made up for lack of size.

_And we are tingly!_

When Sasuke seemed assured that his arms weren't going to snap her in half, he desperately clutched Sakura closer, like a drowning man grasping for a lifeline just beyond his reach. He crushed her close, buried his nose in her hair, and sighed. Beneath her touch, she felt his body uncoil as tension faded from muscles.

Fears of rejection? Or had it been caution of triggering whatever made her plea when they first fought? Whatever the reason for being so tense, it no longer haunted Sasuke, and he relaxed under her guard and opened himself to her in utter abandon to caution or mistrust he may have had when he entered Konoha. Here, he found a refuge. Here, she found someone to cuddle and mother, though her body were raising red flags and tingling in demand that mothering was _most certainly_ not what was wanted - far from it, in fact, and can we please move on because, quite frankly, we want to get laid and there would be hell and high water to pay for if she didn't put the move on Sasuke.

But still, words spoken moments ago that only Sakura could hear floated through her mind. Sakura tried to think of something tactful to say that the tingly bits of her body and her mind could compromise and agree on, but the part of her that usually belonged paired with Inner Sakura declared mutiny and hijacked her mouth.

"Are you really impotent?"

Sasuke choked. Yes; that seemed to be a common reaction with everyone in this room. "What? He said - you actually - ! - _damn him_!" Sakura's tingly bits screamed at protest and vowed revenge upon Sakura's hijacked mouth and the responsible party. _Way to kill the mood_, they complained.

"So it's true?"

Sasuke choked again. "Not, um, er ... I'll get back to you on that." His voice sounded like he spoke through gritted teeth. "If he weren't dead, I'd kill him," he added in a lower tone.

Sakura's tingly bits agreed. And if that blasted part of Sakura could hijack her mouth, then her hips would just have to be invaded. A girl gotta do what a girl's gotta do. Upsy-daisy!

There was rapid knocking on Sakura's bedroom door, which immediately froze the invasion. "Sakura-chan? Sasuke? What're you two doing in there? There's barely any house left standing as it is!"

_Argh! We be tingly_, they moaned. _We would **not **be in wanton desire here if you had only taken Kiba up on his offer. Rawwr. This is your entire fault, you and that big mouth of yours!_

Then, just because desperation does breed invention (or was that necessity? As far as the tingle was concerned, the two were the one and the same), a very wicked part of Sakura suggested they could always invite Naruto along for the ride, because of one was fine, then two would be excellent.

And maybe, said another part that was as snide as the wicked part was wicked, maybe Kiba wouldn't mind watching. He was always such a voyeur anyway, and Naruto probably needed tutoring.

A timid thought said, Where does Kakashi fit in with this? He strikes me as being monogamous. And very heterosexual.

But the thought that stood out furthest in Sakura's mind was - _Wait just one darn minute here-! Naruto knows that Sasuke's here? _

She _knew _there was conspiracy afoot. She just _knew _it!

All of a sudden, she felt drained. For once, she wanted to have some marginal control of her life. Just once. She didn't want to be a victim of her mistakes; didn't want to be caught in the raging waters like a helpless piece of driftwood.

As if sensing her loss of energy, Sasuke started to pull away. Sakura's grip around him tightened, and he grunted unhappily.

"Don't go!" she whispered fiercely as she squeezed her eyes shut to keep the frustrated tears at bay. "I - I don't want you to leave me like the others. Stay. Stay and be real; be solid, like not much else has been." She took a deep, ragged breath, and then opened her eyes. In the mirror's reflection, she could see Kiba once more in the background, a heartbroken expression on his face.

Sasuke sighed. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

"No. Dreams fade when you wake. Don't fade. Don't crumble or melt. Stay."

Sasuke snorted. "I've heard rumors of your chair. Not only is it ugly, as I can see, but Naruto reports it's the most uncomfortable thing he's ever slept in, and that it should be confiscated as a torture device and handed over to Ibiki for diabolical purposes."

"Then my bed."

"I'm not going-"

"You gotta promise you won't steal the blankets," Sakura added with a stubborn set in her jaw. She was haggling for something that amounted to little, but it would cost Sasuke nothing and give her so much.

Sasuke sighed, resigned. "Very well. As long as you promise not to snore."

"I don't snore! How rude!"

_Not again,_ the not-so-very tingly bits complained bitterly. _You prude._

oOoOoOo

Sasuke stirred later that night, sitting upright and glaring at the figure curled against him that clutched close the pillow and wrapped in what appeared to be almost all of the quilt. "You do too snore," he muttered in exasperation.

The shadow that was Kiba, who sat in the lime-green chair and tried to figure out what made it so notoriously uncomfortable (yes, it was ugly, but the kind of ugliness that grew on a person until one regarded it in territorial fondness, as Sakura seemed to), shrugged his shoulders and scratched Akamaru behind the ears. Akamaru's tail thumped once against the floor before the dog resumed his sleep. "She makes the most _delightful _sounds in bed," he declared brightly.

Sasuke turned his sharingan-gaze upon Kiba. "You would know all about _delightful _sounds in bed, wouldn't you?"

Kiba was suddenly across the room, straddling Sasuke's hips and heatedly planting lusty kisses upon Sasuke's brow and lips as he swept his hands upward beneath Sasuke's shirt. Sasuke reluctantly leaned into the kisses and caresses, and Kiba gyrated his hips, smug and pleased at the _woof _of air that escaped Sasuke's lips against his own. "Oh yes," Kiba breathed wickedly, "I know _all about _delightful sounds." Then he was back into Sakura's lime-green chair, arm and leg draped over the sides with a bored look plastered on his face, because he knew it would require too much work and time to stir Sasuke's lust and by then Sakura would have awakened and be thoroughly traumatized. And it was quite obvious she had been traumatized enough, really. "Sure beats the hell out of horrified sounds. Although I would say she's not prone to _loud _nightmares in her sleep." Memories rather, but she never tossed or turned, because recall is important in purification. Sakura was a brave girl to face them, but too much could break her too soon.

Sasuke rested back against his pillow, tugging the covers in vain from Sakura's iron-like grasp. "Odd, that."

Kiba's eyes gleamed in the dark, but Sasuke didn't notice. "Yes. Odd, that."


	10. Chapter 10

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Demeter1 made me do it.

* * *

Sakura awoke the next morning, stretched with a yawn before wincing in pain, and then turned over to see if Sasuke was still there. When she saw the other side of her bed empty, she closed her eyes against the onslaught of a different sort of pain. She carefully sat up, untangled herself from her covers, and then turned around in time to see someone kneeling in her chair, studying the back of it and muttering under his breath.

Sasuke cast a frightfully blank look over his shoulder at her that lingered slightly below her face before he quickly resumed poking the chair with a stiff finger. Sakura looked down to realize that her pajama top was still missing its buttons and was hanging open very wide. Ooh. "What makes this thing so damn lumpy?" he asked no one in particular, though Sakura was the only other living person in the room.

Breathing a sigh of mingled relief and wonder, Sakura dragged her broken body from the bed and across the floor. She didn't bother closing her pajama top, since Sasuke had already seen what she had. Sasuke didn't even tense when she draped a good arm around his shoulders and drew him backwards into a hug. Sasuke sighed, and then gently untangled himself from her grasp. She saw his lips move and some words penetrated the cloud of cotton covering her brain as he turned to face her, but Sakura for the most part ignored it. Instead, she leaned against him, enjoying the solidness of his body and the assuredness that Sasuke back in her life and keeping promises was a welcome change, no matter if it matched the rest of the changes in the level of shock.

Sasuke grunted. "You're going to be as bad as Naruto about this, aren't you?"

"Hmmm?" She wrinkled her nose when she caught the underlying stench of decaying flesh that permeated ever-so-faintly from Sasuke. So, he needed a bath. She probably did, too, but she be damned if she ask for help from the people who have been so insistent on helping her, since they were male. Sakura had some dignity and scraps of a reputation to maintain, after all. She would just slap on some deodorant and call it good.

"I exist in this bubble, see; a large and invisible one, and I don't care for people trespassing into it." His flat, toneless voice bothered Sakura because she couldn't read any heart or mood in it. "I only allow a very small, very select few to enter, and I would appreciate it if people didn't abuse such a privilege-"

Kiba appeared in a whirl of ghostly lights and a frigid breeze as he threw his arms wide to hug both people, smothered Sasuke's lips with a sloppy kiss ("When have we _ever _listened to you?"), and then disappeared with a devious chuckle and sly grin.

Sakura looked at Sasuke, who was frowning unhappily, seemingly unsure of what just happened but nonetheless quite sure he didn't like it. "I don't care to be sexually assaulted, either," he said as he tentatively licked his lips. Since Kiba seemed to have the right idea (although a slightly different context), Sakura stood tip-toe and planted her own good-morning kiss on the tip of Sasuke's nose. Sasuke's eyes crossed in shock for a moment, before he frowned once more.

"Are you as affectionate with Kakashi in the morning?" he asked suspiciously.

Sakura sniffed. "He wasn't here in the morning." Especially since she had slept for two days, and he probably only stayed the first.

"Wise man."

"It was," Kiba's voice drifted through the air, "the worst morning after a one-night stand that I _ever _had to bear witness to. Someone is going to have to set the two of you down for an instructional discussion."

Biting back a smile, Sakura pulled away from Sasuke. "Let's get breakfast."

"Ah. Kakashi and Naruto are downstairs," Sasuke said carefully. Sakura froze. "The kitchen looks like a war zone. I think they were trying to fix breakfast, but it may be beyond repair by now."

Sakura remembered the last time Naruto had tried to make breakfast. But, perhaps, Kakashi was a grounding soul who would keep things under control.

While Sasuke turned his back to afford Sakura some modesty, she quickly dressed in a few simple layers. Sakura took her dose of morphine while Sasuke watched without expression. Feeling timid all of a sudden, since Kakashi had offered to stay the night and she wound up getting Sasuke into her bed instead, Sakura lightly placed her good hand upon Sasuke's arm. She leaned into him as they left the room and trailed down the stairs.

They heard the whoosh of running water before they entered the kitchen. Sakura, steeling herself against the horrific sight of her kitchen laid into no-man's-land, relaxed and took a deep breath when she saw the somewhat neat clutter of pans on her counter, the lay-out of food on the table, and Kakashi washing his hands at her kitchen sink. Naruto was seated at the table, looking very sulky and disappointed. Akamaru was under the table, his tail going thump-thump as he patiently waited for breakfast to start so he could beg for his own share. Kiba was seated at her kitchen windowsill, legs swinging freely as he watched his surroundings. Everyone was just one, big, happy family.

"What?" Naruto demanded belligerently as Sasuke pulled out a chair beside him.

Okay, correction: one, big, happy-but-incredibly-dysfunctional family with a large number of problems to work on - egos being just one.

"I'm surprised," Sasuke replied in a light voice as Sakura seated herself in the chair. He pushed her back into place and moved to sit across from her, leaving an empty chair at her other side. "I would have thought this place worse off than it is." So had Sakura.

"Yeah, well, Kakashi-sensei didn't trust me. So Sakura-chan's kitchen is still in one piece."

At once, everyone looked up at the large hole in Sakura's kitchen ceiling, where a bit of blue sky could be seen. Then they all silently looked at Naruto, whose face was quickly turning red.

"I think that's yours," he whispered to Sakura.

"Nuh uh. You aren't pinning the blame on me for that one." Although, to be fair, Sakura probably did start the fight, and she certainly couldn't remember what damage she _was_ responsible for.

Kakashi off turned the water, flicked droplets from his hands, and then moved to the kitchen window. His hand swept through Kiba without hesitation and drew down the shade.

Kiba slipped through Kakashi and floated over to where Sasuke was seated. "I've been violated," he complained unhappily, draping himself over Sasuke like a limp, hedonistic cat. Sakura wasn't too sure of Kiba was complaining because it was _Kakashi_ who had done the violating, or because Kiba didn't get to appreciate the violating. Either way, Sakura found the comment very unsettling. How was it that a hallucination could be violated, but had no problem feeling her up or kissing Sasuke?

"A man," Kiba said firmly, his hands dropping out of sight, "should have a _choice _in these matters!"

Whatever.

Sakura turned to Kakashi to complain about his blocking her morning sun with the drawn shades, but stopped when Kiba wagged his head no and pointed a finger at Sasuke. "Don't want people knowing he's here," Kiba said in explanation. "You don't need the extra added stress of ANBU raiding your house to put him under arrest. Why - just think of what your reputation would become!"

Well, her reputation certainly couldn't get any worse than it was - Sakura felt her mood drop somewhere to the level of her feet, and Kiba sighed. "Sorry," he said as he raked a hand through his unruly hair. "Didn't mean it like that."

The damage done still, the mood at the table as everyone silently ate was bleak. Sakura flicked her eyes upward to see of a gloomy cloud of doom hovered over their heads, and although she thought she saw a halo of light around Kakashi's head, there wasn't much up above - not even the ceiling, when she _really _stopped to look at what remained.

"So," said Kakashi to Sasuke as he buttered Sakura's toast with long swipes, for which she was grateful because her blood sugar seemed awfully low this morning, for why else would her hands tremble so? "Now that Naruto has so kindly updated me as to your whereabouts but not doings, how did the two of you meet? And why," here he turned a narrowed, disapproving eye on Naruto, "was this information never brought to the attention of our Hokage?"

Naruto dropped his chopsticks and sent a panicked look Sasuke's way. There was a glint of glee in Sasuke's eyes as he ignored Naruto, even when Naruto made zipping movements across his lips. As Sasuke languidly sipped his tea, Kakashi studied the missing-nin's stiff arms. In the better light of day, Sakura could see the gray and pink discoloration that mottled his arms and hands, like a leper's plaid. In her eyes, the colors seemed to shift in the light, and she followed the pattern, letting her mind play over its eerie similarity to something she was sure she had seen somewhere, but couldn't remember at just this moment.

"Well?" Kakashi asked again.

Naruto coughed into a fist, glared pointedly at Sasuke, and then smiled disarmingly at Kakashi. "Well, see, it's got a lot to do with that village I lost, so-"

Kakashi sighed. "Say no more, Naruto. So Tsunade _does _know."

"And that is why our Hokage also hasn't said anything," Naruto added glibly.

Sasuke finally placed his tea on the table and glanced at Akamaru, who was staring wide-eyed at Sasuke with a baleful expression. With a grin sent Sakura's way, Kiba began to play with a lock of Sasuke's hair just as a breeze drifted through her ceiling. Sasuke fed Akamaru a lump of sausage before folding his arms across the table and studying the pattern of color.

When he finally looked up, Sakura flinched at the tilting curve of his sharingan. "N-no-" She slapped her hands against the table to send herself backwards, but Kakashi's arm snapped out and grabbed Naruto's arm, half-yanking the blond out of his chair as the back of Sakura's chair slammed into Kakashi's forearm. The snake that had stolen Sasuke's skin to wear like an outer layer of clothing hovered over Sakura's table, tongue extending outward to flick across her skin. "NO! D-DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Kicking and screaming, Sakura beat against the arms that encircled her, trapping her as a meal for the reptile. She threw her head back and hissed at the snake. "I _see _you!" It had worn Sasuke's face, but she could now see its true colors, so blatantly painted across its arms – snakes didn't have limbs, didn't even know how to use them – no wonder she had known they had been wrong all along.

And she had allowed this creature a place in her bed - _with her pillow_? Mr. Clean wouldn't even come near it after that!

Sakura felt the earthquake beneath her body, as it moved upward from the ground and invaded her body. With a cry, she squeezed her eyes shut and felt sick to her stomach at the thought of sharing her bed with such a monster. She had been so vulnerable, and it had readily exploited that vulnerability.

"Shoulda known," she whispered. The shaking increased - she could feel her grip on the arms weaken as the spasms in her muscles increased. Her legs, against her will, kicked into the floor, sending her back further across the floor with a shriek of wood against tile. "N-no..." She fought against the nausea as the arms drew her closer, cradling her against the world. "Make it st-stop."

"You're with me," Kakashi whispered in her ear. That didn't help - she had been with him last time, and she had nearly killed him for it. A new voice penetrated her world, shouting something about seizures, but Sakura had caught the tail-end of her thoughts and was following its thread to the very, unraveling end.

Killed him - yes, yes, that was it. That was ...

oOoOoOo

_It was the wood beneath her fingertips that she recognized first, because her right shoulder had slammed so hard into the tree that she felt bones snap. She raised her left arm to feel the rough bark, and then trailed them along the line of her arm. The shoulder itself was sore - perhaps fractured - but her clavicle, judging from her chakra-searching fingers and the flares of pain, had snapped in three different places. _

_Her vision was washed in green - ferns, shrubs, grasses and leaves. It was a large blur, and she didn't really recognize what it was that she saw, but she knew it was green. Only the wood and the pain were certain. _

_Sakura's mind felt strangely empty, which was probably why it floated beyond the reach of gravity. A thought would trail along that she would watch with a sense of detachment - random, silly things, like that Watanabe Haya she had met while leaving the hospital, and how she should have told the neighbor to grab her newspaper in the morning, because Sakura wasn't going to be able to fetch it. And that time shortly after Naruto left with Jiraiya and her parents died, and she was wondering where her life was going - what was she going to do, if the medical training with Tsunade didn't pan out? Kakashi had randomly stopped by - she didn't know why, even to this day - and brought along some takeout. He said that eating alone was, well, lonely, but if you got two lonely people together to eat, then they weren't alone. Especially if they fought over who were going to do dishes, which was why he insisted on eating in her kitchen, using Mother's fine bone china. _

_Kakashi-sensei . . ._

_Her world slowly reoriented itself to the here and now, and a voice much like her own, but not coming from her throat or her mind, penetrated past the pain and the disorientation. _

_"I can't help him! He's got, like, legs and arms, and I'm all claws and a big tongue!" _

_Sakura pushed herself upright with her good arm and tried to see, but her eyes still wouldn't focus. She lifted her good hand to touch her face and felt something sticky along the line of her jaw. She followed the path to its origin - a rough, painful, large knot just below her right ear. As she did, she finally took note of a persistent pain-like sensation of her skull trying to implode. She winced when she touched the knot, and a detached part of her mind began to systematically and emotionlessly babble the signs and symptoms of a concussion - _

**_headache loss of consciousness confusion visual disturbance impaired memory_**

_- but the voice, so like her own but not her own, continued to complain of its shortcomings. _

_"I can't lick him back into health! Besides, I'll get cooties and then my master would think I was cheating on him, and-"_

_"Oh, shut up," she muttered, trying to stand upright. Her leg buckled beneath her and she collapsed, the last of the mind-haziness burning away at the sudden sharp flare of pain that spiked through her back and down her leg. Stunned, she stared at the forest floor before remembering that it was very important to breathe. _

_With her first breath, Sakura started to cry. _

_"No, don't!" cried the voice. A wet nose nudged the inside of her arm and Sakura realized that Akamaru was peering at her with desolate eyes and a sad, constant shift of his tail. The tears stopped. "Pull yourself together," Akamaru said sternly with her voice, "you're a med-nin and there is someone in need of your skills."_

I can't help,_ Sakura thought hopelessly. _I killed the last one. _ But when Akamaru left her side and moved, Sakura lifted her head and watched. It took her a moment to realize that the jumble of limbs at the foot of the steep slope was actually a human being. Bracing herself with her left arm, her right arm pressed firmly to her side, Sakura stumbled closer for a better assessment. She collapsed on her butt beside it and studied with a very blank mind, the detached part being very silent. After a while of getting nowhere, Sakura finally reached an arm out to touch one limp limb, and pain flared through her body once more as memories tumbled disjointedly through her mind. _

_No no no no no - not him! Not him! Sakura started to cry again as she slowly and carefully straightened out her unconscious elder. The detached part of her mind began to loudly assess the angle of his leg and the memory of her blow. Sakura bowed her head and listened, chastised at the insanity of it all. She didn't have her med-kit - she had nothing with which to help Kakashi. She was crippled; he was crippled. They may have to die together in this wilderness, for all the good that any help may bring. _

_Maybe, maybe she could send Akamaru off to those creatures in the cave. Yeah - that's a good idea! She could write a note out and attach it to the creature, and they'd send the creature off to Konoha like a homing pigeon. Just hope it didn't scare anyone and get killed for it, though. The messenger was often an unpopular figure, these days._

_Sakura looked for materials to write with and on, and realized she could use her own blood on her shirt. Okay; she could do that. All she had to do was find a clean spot, and…_

_As Sakura gripped her shirt tightly to tear it, she felt Kakashi stir. _

_"Oh!" Attention diverted, Sakura wrung her hands helplessly as Kakashi lifted a hand to press against his face, open his eye, and then turn his face towards her. _

_"Ah, Sakura," he said with general ease, as if his leg was not crushed and she wasn't plotting on a morbid message and messenger. "How are you feeling?" He reached out to touch the line of her jaw as she stared silently into his one eye, thinking with wonder how the eyes were windows into a soul, and that Kakashi had a very pretty soul. He frowned in worry. "Sakura?" _

_Sakura turned her eyes to hide her own deceitful soul. How ugly it must be beneath its many sins and faults. All those ghosts - she was cursed, and while the ghosts were gone, their memory still weighed heavily in her heart. "You're hurt," she said instead, laying her good hand upon the crushed leg, mid-thigh. She had done this - she had crippled Kakashi, because he was just too good a ninja to die from her mistakes and weaknesses. Kiba wasn't, although he should have been, but she was evil enough to break Kakashi. _

_"I'm sorry," she said, unable to shed tears. Such was a sure sign that she was evil. She had hurt him irrevocably so, and she didn't have the heart to cry. _

_Kakashi tried to push himself upright, but couldn't. He settled on propping himself up on his elbows and studying her. "What happened?" Akamaru sat and studied the two of them, his tail tick-tocking in the dirt and leaves._

_At least Kakashi deserved her honesty. "I killed Kiba."_

_"What?"_

_"And I tried to kill you, but you were too good to die. I'm - I'm not a very good person, Kakashi-sensei," she said, finally looking him in the eye. Kakashi flinched, and Sakura quickly turned her head away. Yes, she truly was ugly. _

_She hunched her shoulders. "I'm sorry." _

_"I don't know what is going on, but I'll grant that neither do you." _

_Oh, but she **did **- she had tried to **kill him**. See, death made everything so simple, and killing was such a simple thing with death. Even now, the memory of fighting him in the cave came back to her. She had thought Kakashi was like all the other ghosts, blaming her (and rightly so) for their ends, and she had truly hated him for it. She had wanted to destroy him and may very well have succeeded, for a crippled ninja was a risk and thus faced a mandatory retirement. As she laid a hand upon him, she sent her chakra questing out to further assess his injury. Her soul, no matter its ugliness, quailed in horror at the extent of what she had done. She couldn't even summon up the dredges of pride for being that skilled in her fighting._

_The detached part of her mind said, **Here, just send your chakra here, like so, and see? The blood vessels are much better now, so the healing will be quicker.** Sakura, in desperate eagerness, latched upon the hope that sprang forth from such a little action. And if she did this, like so, she could straighten out the femur bone fragments - _

_"Sakura?" _

_- and with a nudge here, the shredded muscle was realigned -_

_"Sakura, what are you doing?"_

_- and she could pour some chakra here and instantly repair that damage -_

_"Stop it!" _

_- and here, to knit and seal the bone fragments together -_

_"You're draining too much too fast! Healing isn't meant to be done like this so soon after your own injuries!" _

_- and then pull together the muscle threads and chakra lines, drain his pain into her own body so he could no longer feel it, stop the inflammatory process, send along the edema - _

_"Stop it, Sakura!" Kakashi finally pried free Sakura's hand from his thigh and levered his weight against her own, sending her tumbling onto her back where she laughed at the headiness of mingling redemption and pain. See? See? She wasn't that ugly if she could fix problems! Now all she had to do was figure out how to bring back the dead, and then, and then, and then…. _

_Bone-dead exhausted, Sakura buried her face in Kakashi's chest and wailed her grief of so much loss. He was patient, patting her hair and murmuring comforting words beneath his breath and beyond her comprehension, waiting out her sorrow until she was ready to speak. _

_As she sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve, he stiffly sat upright and more firmly wrapped his arms around Sakura. She braced herself against a steady onslaught of questions that he no doubt needed answering, Kakashi instead spoke of how he came to be in the area. _

_"I received Kiba's signal last evening," he said. "It stopped shortly afterward, but a signal sent with that urgency is never ignored. I see I may be the first to arrive; there may or may not be others, being that it hadn't much time to broadcast. I think I arrived here two hours ago; no sentries or signs of entry to the cave as far as I could tell, but I could hear your voice. You didn't sound all that calm," Kakashi added in a carefully worded afterthought. _

_" 'M sorry." _

_"Hush. Remind me, in the future, never to make you angry, darling," Kakashi said with forced cheer. "Or to make you an enemy. Having taught you, I know what you are capable of, and it's a frightful thing when combined with that strength." _

_That might have been a compliment. Maybe Kakashi was trying to tell Sakura in his own, roundabout way that she was beautiful. _

_"Sakura, do you know why Kiba called?" _

_Sakura scrunched her face up in thought as she tried to recall what Kiba had said. "N-no, I don't. I think because the others were dead." _

_"Ah. How did they die?" _

_"Killed Kiba. The stalagmites got Gina. I don't know what happened to Ochi." _

_Kakashi, long-suffering but always patient with her, sighed. "How did you kill Kiba?" _

_At the memory of Kiba's death, the shame of her mistake came rushing back to Sakura, and she began to cry again. "M-my med-kit! I didn't ch-check my med-kit and the antidote wasn't there! I was supposed to check it, but I didn't, and I killed Kiba with my c-careless stupidity!" The rush of shame was quickly followed by anger - anger at herself, at whoever had tampered with her supplies, at Kiba for not dodging that damn poisoned knife in the first place, at the assassin who fought Kiba, and at whoever was responsible for sending Kiba and team off on this mission in the first place. _

_"I hate it all!" she cried in frustration. "Why? Why? I sh-should have checked! But he died and it's my fault and if only I had checked before the mission started!" _

_Akamaru whined. "The fault of someone stealing your supplies is not your own," Inner Sakura said, her voice floating from Akamaru. Sakura's tears stilled as she stared at Akamaru. Akamaru, oblivious to Sakura's dawning horror, looked pleased to have attention. "We should look at the root of this matter, and that is someone deliberately tampered with personal supplies, breaking codes and honor alike. Whether through stupidity, addiction, or maliciousness, we must ask the questions: _Why you?_ and _Are you the only one_?" _

_"Here, here," Kiba agreed amiably from somewhere overhead and out of sight. _

_"Yes," Sakura whispered in agreement. "That is it." She floundered against Kakashi's arms. He released her and she leapt to her feet, the world spinning all around. She doubled over and dry-heaved before the world slowed down enough for her to keep her stomach's contents in place. _

_"Sakura?" She could feel Kakashi standing up beside her and place a large had on the middle of her back. She didn't need to look at him to see his concern for her; it seemed to leak from his body and seep into her skin. She scrubbed at her arms, as if to cleanse herself of her evil self. "Are you okay?" _

_"We have to get back," Sakura said. She straightened and looked at Kakashi with determination. "W-we have to carry Kiba's name to the monument - a-and Gina's, Ochi's. And we have to stop the others."_

_"What others?" _

_Sakura tried to grasp hold her thoughts as they began to spin out of control again. When she tried to grab them, they shattered into multi-faceted ideas and theories too large for her to comprehend. She stared wordlessly at Kakashi, struggling to speak but was unable to. Someone had caught her by the throat and was crushing her mind, crushing her voice box, stealing her words. They had somehow gotten inside her head and were trying to crush her skull from the inside-out. What creatures did she fight? How could Kakashi protect himself against them?_

_Sakura took a strangled, desperate gasp of air as her hands flew to her throat to protect it, pain burning through her right clavicle, shoulder and arm. "N-no. Th-the others." The ones who had done this, who had tried to trap her in the caves so she couldn't tell. They weren't _inside _her head - they were telepathically trying to control her from within the bowels of the mountain! Dead men tell no secrets, unless they were Kiba, but then Kiba had never been a gossip. _

_"What is happening?" Kakashi removed her hands from her throat, and braced himself as Sakura struggled weakly to pull away. She had no strength left and was as weak as putty, because she spent it all on Kakashi. He was such an expensive date, after all, because fine bone china cost a lot! "Sakura? What of Gina and Ochi? The hostages?" He looked over and up at the open cave that loomed like a gaping mouth. _

_"M-monsters!" Whatever had kept her from speaking snapped and the words tumbled forth. "It's filled with monsters and they'll steal your soul and control your mind and break your spirit! Ghosts haunt and heads bounce and the stalagmites will eat you!" Sakura clutched Kakashi desperately, floundered to keep the shattering thoughts in one piece. Whole, they were precious, but once broken they lost all value. "Everyone's dead or not, but the gas will get you and the cupcakes will eat you! They'll eat you like the stalagmites!" Crying in frustration, Sakura buried her face in the crook of Kakashi's neck and shoulder. _

_She felt him stiffen. "Gas?" _

_"Everywhere! You can't breathe or you'll die, but you'll die if you can't breathe so you just become ghosts and you have to kill those ghosts and there's nothing to bring you back because someone has stolen those medications and it killed Kiba and the cupcakes ate him while Gina's head bounced and bounced because I was careless and stupid!" _

_Kakashi looped an arm around her waist. "Let's get away from the cave if there's gas coming out of it." _

_"Good idea," Kiba said from behind. He fell into step as Kakashi tried to drag Sakura along, but she stubbornly dug her heels into the ground. _

_"No! No! You can't take me away! I won't run from the nightmares or responsibilities! The ghosts - I owe them. My failures, great and small, and I can't give up on them because Kiba is there."_

_"Uh, actually, I'm right behind you." _

_"I can't leave! I - I'll stop breathing, and go to them!" _

_Kakashi whipped around and firmly gripped Sakura's shoulder. She drew in a shuddering breath and felt the strength give out in her legs as her right arm cramped. Kakashi dropped to one knee with her, holding her upright. "Sakura," he said firmly, anger lurking beneath his calm features, "we have to take Kiba's name to the monument." _

_"Y-yes. We do." _

_Kiba looked at Kakashi. "You know we can't really reason with her until the gas wears off."_

_"We don't know if other help is coming, but you are hurt and you need help, and if I have to carry you to the monument and help, then so be it. We're leaving right now." _

_Kiba growled and looked at Sakura for support. "He's not really listening to me, either, is he?" _

_Sakura tried to look away so Kakashi could not see her eyes, but he pressed one hand firmly against her jaw and forced her eyes to meet his. Her vision began to blur together once more - if she couldn't see his soul, could he see hers? "You can't break on me," Kakashi whispered. "Not here, not now." _

_Kiba waved a transparent hand in front of Kakashi's eyes. "Really - would someone just _listen_ to me? I suppose it would help if anyone could see. And I don't mean you, Akamaru. I meant the other humans." _

_Sakura sighed in exasperation as Kakashi turned around and pulled her onto his back. "Your injury-"_

_"You've already repaired it," Kakashi replied testily. _

_"You're limping-" _

_"I stopped you before you nearly killed yourself." _

_"Hello? Anyone see me standing here? Besides the girl who's overly prone to hallucinations right now?" _

_"So it's not fully-"_

_"I'm fine," Kakashi said through gritted teeth._

_"I'm starting to doubt my own existence, now. Okay; well, then Akamaru and I will just follow along. No need to pay attention to this ghost and his loyal companion. Just keep on doing what you're doing. Carry on. Tally ho. All that shit." _

_Sakura didn't know if she should feel relieved or exasperated, but she was quite tired of Kakashi and Kiba. "_Men_," she muttered, because it was really the only word to describe how she felt right now. _

oOoOoOo

"Why do _I _have to be the one to stick my fingers between her teeth?"

"Because, Naruto, you're the one who'll heal best if she bites them off."

"_What_? Baa-san-"

"The seizure seems to be coming to a close."

Sakura blinked tears from her vision and focused upon the swirl of faces and words above her head. She was laying on her back in the kitchen floor - that was becoming too much of a habit, in Sakura's heavy-minded opinion.

_Wait _- seizure?

"I thought she was dying," Naruto said in a small voice.

"Whaladaygoh?" Sakura crossed her eyes at the appendages sticking out of her mouth. Well, at least she knew Naruto had to wash his hands before breakfast, so they were still relatively clean.

"Ah, good to see you're doing better, Sakura-san," Tsunade said as her head hovered in Sakura's field of vision. "You had the boys in a bit of a fright there." She glanced up at Naruto and Kakashi. "What is going on here?"

Naruto shook his head, looking old and exhausted. "You tell her, Kakashi-sensei."

"Naruto-"

"No!" Sakura felt Naruto's anger and flaring chakra, even with her groggy mind and exhaustion. Funny; her thinking seemed to be surprisingly clear now compared to the past week.

"Yeah!" Kiba's grinning mug popped into view. "You ought to have seizures more often!"

No; she'd rather not, thank you very much.

Naruto raked one hand through his hair, and then removed the other from Sakura's mouth. "This has to stop. I don't care if it's just something that's happening or an experiment or whatever the hell is going on. I - I can't see Sakura-chan like this."

"If someone eventually got around to informing me of current events, as Sakura's teacher if not the leader of this village, _that _would be most appreciated."

As Tsunade monitored Sakura and Kakashi gathered her into his arms to be moved, Naruto's explanation was a stuttering halt of disjointed sentences. He was never very good at giving a report, and trying to explain what he knew and experienced was even more difficult. Tsunade, with the experienced ease of someone who had worked with Naruto multiple times before on overwhelming issues, guided Naruto into better dictation. Sakura was moved from the kitchen to her bedroom, but she did her best to keep watching Tsunade's face, worry gnawing the pit of her stomach.

Tsunade's face did not change in its concern as Naruto, very reluctantly, explained what had happened the other day when Sakura had tried to explain to him and Kakashi the events in the caves and how she had lost her mind. "She said half her mind," Naruto said defensively, his jaw set and his eyes gleaming," "so that means she's still has some of it."

"I'm only half-crazy," Sakura chimed in what she hoped was a helpful manner.

When Naruto finished with yesterday's events with Sakura, he clamped his lips together and refused to continue. Tsunade trained a stern eye upon him; it didn't take a blind fool to realize there was a large chunk of information that Naruto would not allow pried from his lips. "What's this about Kiba and Sasuke?" Tsunade asked instead.

Sakura began to cry again. "He's a snake! A snake is human clothing!"

Tsunade rubbed Sakura's arm. "Snake or not, he may confirm your report and findings. Where is he? I didn't see him when I came in."

"But, Hokage-sama," Naruto interrupted, "you know we can't use him! No one would believe his reliability and it would bring Sakura-chan further into question. There's got to be something else."

"Very well, then, Naruto. If we can't use Sasuke, we'll just use someone else."

"Yes, er - what?"

"And since Kiba is less reliable than Sasuke, being dead by Sakura's accounts and certainly MIA without due explanation, which thereby justifies _Sakura's_ claims, we have to find _something_."

"Okay." Naruto scratched his head in confusion. "Uh, how?"

"Take whoever you want - someone trusted, I sense - and search those caves yourself. No crime scene is ever perfect and without evidence, no matter how much or how thorough the perpetrators might have scrubbed it over."

Naruto was silent for a moment. "Yes," he said slowly and carefully. "Yes. I can think - yes. I may be able to find," he winced, "Ochi."

"That would do, for a start. Although how you will find him when the other team I sent in couldn't find anything is beyond me. Make sure he can answer questions when you bring him back."

"That may be a bit difficult. Uh. Did the other team have a search dog?"

Tsunade smiled unhappily in realization. "No."

"Hmm. One of the Genin on Ino's team is an Inuzuka. Have them quit whatever mission they're doing right now and meet me on the southwestern track for that cave, six kilometers from the fort. There should be a rock almost in the pathway - can't miss it."

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her brow. "Hopefully there is something still there," she said with some regret. Naruto clapped her on the back.

"No worries, Hokage-sama. We'll get this thing figured out." Naruto planted a quick kiss on Sakura's forehead. "I'll be back in a jiffy," he told her with a confident grin before he left.

Kakashi left soon after to carry the new mission to Ino, leaving Sakura in Tsunade's care.

Sakura wished that Kakashi had kissed her goodbye too.


	11. Chapter 11

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Demeter1 made me do it.

NOTES: I really adore all the OCs in this story; even the ones I tortured mercilessly, and/or killed. I also really adore this totallynotangtsybutstillemo!Sasuke. And Ino. And Naruto. Heck - there isn't a single character in this story I'm not fond of!

* * *

The sun had reached its zenith by the time Ino and her team reached the curving point in the rural path that Naruto had told them to meet up.

"Okay, what's this all about?" Ino demanded as the three twelve-year-olds trailing behind looked on in interest. Naruto was a legend of unbelievable proportions among the Genin, but despite his ongoing friendship with Ino, they had never before met. "First you alert me and the team for a mission, and then Kakashi calls me to Tsunade-sama so she could officially present a, what? B-class mission? that is completely _classified_? Isn't that a little _extreme_ for a B-class? And aren't we just a little too underqualified for anything more than a C?"

Naruto, seated cross-legged on the stone that rested beside the path, shrugged and patted the rock. "So much for a hello. Well, take a seat. This is classified due to the sensitivity of the parties and information involved."

"Finally," one of the Genin, a sturdy-looking kid with close-cropped red hair and a wide mouth, grumbled. "An explanation."

The Inuzuka clan member whom Naruto recognized, a scrawny girl with an upturned nose and hair the same shade and unruliness as Kiba's, elbowed her fellow teammate in the side. "Shut up. We've had to listen to your whining the whole trip here."

"You're just jealous 'cause you didn't have a date you had to leave." The other jabbed back.

"Be quiet!" Jabjab.

"You!" Jab.

"No, you!" Jabjabjab -

Ino whacked both Genin upside the head. "Knock it off, both of you!" She sighed and shook her head. "It _was_ of very short notice," she said in half-explanation, half-apology to Naruto. "B-class and classified. Aye yie yie. What have you gotten us into?"

"The other teams don't have an Inuzuka."

Inuzuka Mimi stopped rubbing her head and looked at Naruto with worry clear in her face. "Is it about Uncle Kiba?" she asked fearfully.

Naruto remained silent as he studied the others. "You're Mimi," he said, taking note of the moving lump beneath her jacket. A moment later, and a puppy had squirmed its way free and was studying him with intense interest. He felt a jab in his heart as he recalled Kiba carrying Akamaru around, but that had been way back when Akamaru was still small enough to do so. Kiba had loved that dog so much - no matter his care and protection of Sakura, Kiba would never have abandoned Akamaru for so long.

"Oh! Oh!" The sturdy-looking kid waved his hand in the air. "I'm Moto Jac!"

"Funny name you got there, kid," Naruto replied with a crooked grin. He looked at the remaining Genin, a pale-faced child with a scattering of freckles across his nose. A pair of glasses was pushed up into his hair, and the child squinted his pair of bright green eyes at Naruto.

"Miruto Keiko. Pleased to meet you, sensei."

Naruto blinked. "How did you-"

"Don't ask, please." Keiko was silent for a moment, and then sighed in weary exasperation. "My mother, after having five sons, decided she was giving a girl's name to the next child she had, regardless of actual sex. At least she never dressed me up as a little girl… once I turned five," he added, almost too softly for Naruto to hear.

"We just call him Ko," Ino put in. "All right - introductions complete, what the hell is this all about?"

Naruto sat upright and regarded Ino with open interest. "You're awfully crabby this morning; you on the rag?" He ducked the rock she hurled at him. "Patience! Patience!" he cried, waving his arms. Hardly appeased, Ino crossed her arms with an even larger rock still in grip. "Normally, I give teams I work with a hint of what the mission is about, and then leave them the choice of whether they agree to it or not. But I don't have the mood or the kindness to offer such a luxury. When I say this is classified, I don't mean don't-gossip-about-it-in-your-sleep, classified; I mean slit-your-own-throat-before-you-even-_think_-about-it classified."

Ino gasped. "Naruto -!"

"Listen, Ino. There is a high level of danger involved - we're going to be trying to dig up secrets that got people, skilled and powerful people, killed. But I'm probably confusing you all right now, so I'll start from the beginning and don't ask questions until I say I'm ready to take them. You all know that Haruna Sakura was on a mission that ended in disaster. You all were present when their names were inducted on the monument: Ochi, Gina, and Kiba. I suspect I know more of why they were killed than Sakura-chan does, and if the wrong people learned you knew, then you might all very well be killed, also. The nature of the business; you have to accept it.

"There is something going on in Konoha that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. Ino - have you heard from anyone the extensiveness of the tampering with medical supplies?"

Ino nodded stiffly. "It's becoming quite the scandal."

"With every reason to be," Naruto said shortly. He looked at Mimi. "Did family give you the details of Kiba's death? No? Well, according to Sakura-chan, he was poisoned. She should, and would, have had the antidote except someone had tampered her supplies and stole it."

Mimi's face went white as she clutched her bag close. Naruto had seen the red cross before she sat down, and knew that Mimi's responsibility to the team was that of a future med-nin. For now, she was in training, but even this early she was well-versed in the danger of lacking the needed supplies. "Uncle Kiba - his death was unnecessary?"

"No; I imagine they'd have tried to kill him in some other way if the first attempt wasn't successful. I did discuss the reasons for this with someone very insightful just yesterday - and you four are the first to hear it from me. I haven't even told this to Tsunade. We think that Sakura-chan is part of a bigger scheme - that she's an experiment of some sort. You haven't heard it as truth, maybe as a rumor, but Sakura-chan is suffering from severe hallucinations."

Ino shuddered. "Naruto - wait, who is this insightful person?"

"I'll get to that. It's breaking Sakura-chan, slowly but surely, and we have to stop it. We don't know how, but we have to. But before we can do that, we have to find evidence that what Sakura-chan witnessed in the caves with Kiba was real - that they aren't hallucinations. We may be able to find Ochi, if he wasn't removed."

Ino's eyes narrowed. "Isn't he dead?"

"Ah, _yeeeeessss_… My insightful person had to finish that."

"Naruto, I do not like the way this is heading."

"Tough."

"You may be a clueless clod, but I have my responsibility to _my_ team to think about!"

Ino and Naruto glared at one another silently, before he suddenly smiled. "I know," he said tiredly. "But the far-reaching hands of this plot Sakura-chan is entangled in leaves me with very few adults whom I trust. If it makes you feel any better, you all will be under the protection of myself and, well, someone very powerful."

"Given your past record, I am _not _reassured - for that matter, I think we're safer taking our own chances with the enemy. You are willing to name the name of everyone but this someone who is powerful and that someone who is insightful - and you didn't mention this to the Hokage? Why, Naruto?"

Naruto blew a lungful of air out between pursed lips. "I said I'll get to that. All things in due time, neh?"

Ino crossed her arms. "If you like having your kidneys in your flanks instead of yanked out of your ears, then this due time best hurry."

Naruto pulled a face. "How can any harm come to these Genin with _you _guarding them?"

"Naruto-"

"Yeah, yeah. In truth, I don't know if the missing medications have anything to do with the caves. They just may only be linked by a very tragic mistake. I trust Sakura-chan implicitly - she's always been trustworthy. So, when she says that there were things in those caves that were unnatural and horrific, then there were things in those caves that were unnatural and horrific."

Ino sighed. "But Naruto, if she's having these hallucinations-"

"Those hallucinations begun _after_ her witness!" Naruto yelled. Ino jumped and looked affronted. "But that is precisely what people are trying to say! If they can wave away her testimony as being based off of falsity, then they can dismiss any evidence she produced on the missing medications, and you know Sakura-chan - if a teammate and a friend died because of something, she'll sink her teeth into the matter and worry until the problem is solved. Someone was _really_ sloppy somewhere, but if Sakura's insanity is the perfect way to cover that, then _why _must it come at the price of Sakura-chan's reputation and career, not to mention mental well-being?"

Ino shrugged helplessly. "I'm just saying-"

"What everyone else is saying, I know. I have ears that I do use, contrary to popular opinion. But think: if there is nothing wrong with Sakura-chan, and the gas was supposed to wear off the first thirty-six hours, then why is she still having hallucinations?" When no one answered, Naruto folded his arms before himself and continued. "Someone is behind all of this, manipulating the scenes like a puppet on strings. But how? I don't know. Why? I don't know if I can really answer that, except we think it's a part of this scientific experiment."

"Who is _we_?" Ino demanded impatiently. "And what is this experiment you keep mentioning?"

"I'll let him explain it, just as soon as he meets up with us. He's better at that scientific mumbo-jumbo than I."

"Kidneys, Naruto. Kidneys."

"Our goal of this mission is to search those caves. The others searchers found nothing, but there has to be something; some sort of evidence. Like Ochi. I'll let my insightful person explain that, too. Who would go through the trouble to clean the caves? I don't know. Which is why we have to be very careful and always on guard." Naruto nibbled on his lip for a moment, and then focused his gaze upon Ino and her team. He could feel his anger swelling again, but forced it into check. "One last reason - probably the most important - for this mission's classification. I _know _that we _will _be dealing with an S-class villain, or so the Bingo Book has him listed. Tsunade-san has some inkling, but you _cannot _tell anyone else what you're going to learn. When I say deal, I mean in a friendly-sort of way. We stand a chance of helping Sakura-chan with his help, and I know it's going to make you very nervous."

Naruto dropped his head and clasped his hands together. Ino growled. "I'm too impatient and angry to be nervous. Get to the point before I try to stab you with it."

Naruto looked up with a disarming grin. "If you insist, Ino."

A pair of hands dropped onto Ino's shoulders from behind, making her jump in surprise as a warm body pressed against her own. "I think," Sasuke said with a flat voice, "that Naruto was right in asking if you are on the rag."

"What - Sasuke! What are - you don't-" Ino finally settled on the thought most grounding. "I am a married woman now! You _cannot_ take such a familiarity with me!"

"What's worse," Naruto said with a sigh, "is that she's married to _Neji_. Don't ask me how it happened – apparently I was too busy losing a village while the courtship was taking place. I've never understood the whole arrangement."

"I would like to see this trick with the kidneys," Sasuke said almost conversationally as Ino grabbed her three startled Genin and yanked them behind herself. "It sounds delightfully painful."

"Want to find out, first-hand?" Ino growled.

Sasuke appeared to actually consider the idea of losing his kidneys, and then solemnly shook his head. "Better not," he said in a flat voice, although Naruto could almost swear he heard amiability. "I have difficulty enough living without a heart, if some rumors are to be believed."

"And a soul?" Ino growled, half in anger and half in confusion. That actually did bring a smile across Sasuke's face, however fleeting and sadistic that it was. The children cringed at its brief appearance.

"Contrary to most beliefs," Sasuke said in all seriousness, "I did not sell my soul to the devil – it's merely on loan for the time being."

Everyone stared in disbelief until Ko giggled, and then slapped a hand over his mouth as a look of annoyance flashed across Ino's face.

"Ah, good," Naruto said as he stood, patting his butt free of dirt and stickers, "someone else who has a sense of humor. This trip may not be so long and dreary, after all."

"But Sasuke – he was joking, wasn't he?" Ino pleaded, not daring to take her eyes from Sasuke and look at Naruto for confirmation.

Sasuke's face suddenly went very blank, very still, and very dead. "Truth is stranger than fiction."

Naruto flippantly waved his hand as he began to walk away. "We don't keep him around for his sense of humor," he said, "just his intelligence."

"Not that you _do_ keep me around." Sasuke followed after Naruto, his stiff arms hanging loosely at his sides. Ino kept a tight hold on her team, unmoving from the spot they stood. "There isn't a place in Konoha creepy enough to qualify as my lair."

Naruto stopped suddenly in his tracks, and then looked warily over his shoulder at Sasuke. Sasuke merely raised an eyebrow at the sly, slant-eyed look plastered on Naruto's face. Naruto leaned close, raised his hand, chortled with glee, and then whispered loud enough for everyone to hear: "You haven't seen the closet where Ino and Neji keep their toys."

Naruto barely managed to duck the boulder Ino yanked from the ground and threw with enough force to clear a path some ways into the forest. He easily ducked beneath her reach as she threw herself at him, and then slipped off into the forest with Ino hot at his heels. As the shrieks of outrage and Naruto's gleeful laughter subsided in the distance, Jac poked Sasuke in the side and was very lucky that Sasuke had enough decency and control to refrain from breaking the kid's arm.

"So, you're not just a boogieman my mom used to scare me with."

Since Naruto didn't seem to be in the least intimidated by Sasuke (not that Naruto's confidence and trust in anyone was a good measure of standards to go by), Mimi latched herself to Sasuke's left arm. "Is it true that Naruto-sensei is stronger than you?"

Mustn't strangle innocent little girls… mustn't strangle innocent little girls – as if he could get his hands to obey him that well. Hell wasn't just having a demented, power-hungry monster trapped in your mind; hell was other people.

Ko reached up and tugged on the hem of Sasuke's mesh-shirt. Someone _really_ ought to teach these kids the property of Personal Space. Perhaps he should have made Naruto promise to explain the concept of The Invisible Bubble before he made himself known. "I've seen that closet – you'd fit right in with the whips, chains, riding crops, and other seriously creepy stuff."

There was a brief moment of silence. Sasuke sighed and tilted his head back to watch the cloudless sky – three, two, one –

"SHRIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

Ino made a very good impression of a charging elephant, knocking aside anything in her way – including Naruto, who pinwheeled his arms helplessly as he went crashing through the underbrush. Sasuke shuddered as the three Genin attached themselves to him and cowered in fright at the sight of their sensei's rage.

It was too early in the day for anyone to yet die... With a sigh, Sasuke bent and scooped the Genin into his arms and neatly dodged Ino's wake. Alas, so much energy – Sasuke sprinted to the direction of the caves, children bouncing at his sides, Ino yelling something about demerits and traitors as she gave chase.

"Excellent!" Naruto yelled after the cloud of dust rising in Ino and Sasuke's wake as he limped onto the path, one hand pressed against a sore hip. "I love that you guys are taking such a vigorous initiative; we'll be there in no time – hey, I saw that!" he yelled and pointed as Ino flipped him off. "You are a horrible influence on those kids!"

oOoOoOo

They spent that night under some trees, their camping fire kept at a minimum to prevent notice. Sasuke listlessly watched as Ino supervised everyone in foraging for food – including Naruto – and showed the children how to cook. While the rabbit roasted over the open flames, Naruto and Jac gathered enough wood to last them through the night.

"We adults need to set up a watch," Naruto said solemnly as he squatted beside Mimi and her dog, Kasshoku. "Any preference?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I can do second." Neither Ino or Naruto protested – nor would they, as if they _wanted_ the most difficult of the three watches.

"Third," Ino said. "I'm used to getting up at three in the morning."

"Right. Then I'll take first. You kids get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be a longer day than today. We should reach the caves by noontime, and then we'll have to search it."

"What exactly are we looking for, Naruto?" Ino asked as she removed the rabbit from the spit hanging over the flames. She blew on it for a few seconds.

"Anything that may confirm Sakura's story. Except..." Naruto looked uncertain as he shot a quick look at Sasuke. Sasuke's face remained blank and emotionless. "Except there _is_ something very specific that we must find, if at all possible. We, well, _Sasuke_ saw Ochi the day Kiba's team were at the caves."

Ino began to dissect the rabbit and pass sizzling chunks to her companions. "Where is he?"

Sasuke finally stirred. "Dead. He was tortured and left to die, so I finished it."

Ino froze in her movements. The look she gave Sasuke when he failed to volunteer any more information was long and measured. Her jaw flexed and worked a few times, as if she ransacked her mind for an appropriate response. She finally just settled on giving him an unpleasant scowl. "Okay, I give; _why_ did you off Ochi?"

"He was tortured."

Ino pointed the spit, with its still-clinging half-dismantled rabbit carcass, at Sasuke. "Well, Gaara's a tortured soul, too, although we could make the argument of whether or not he even _has_ a soul. But you don't see any of us trying to off him – never mind the fact that he's too powerful for any of us to successfully off him in the first place." She rolled her eyes and glared. "_You_ are a _sadistic_ bastard."

Sasuke blinked, owl-eyed. "My birth is quite legitimate, although there have always been tales swirling Itachi's being somewhat early."

Ino opened her mouth to make a snappy retort, frowned, and then sighed unhappily. "Sasuke, what all sort of human contact have you had for the past so many years since you've been gone?"

A flicker of surprise flashed across Sasuke's face before it was once more blank. "Kabuto. Naruto. Kiba."

Ino winced. "Kiba and Naruto? Oh, forget it. I'm not surprised." She rubbed her forehead beneath its protector. "Given the sort of humans whose behavior you could observe and emulate, I find I'm not surprised with your dialogue. Nonetheless, your responses are completely inappropriate for the current conversation."

"Should I emulate you?"

Naruto blinked. "I'm missing something."

"It's easy," Ino began, and Naruto sighed, because whenever anyone started any explanation with those words, he knew it would make his head hurt to figure anything out. "Sasuke's been gone eight years and his only human contact has been limited to one spy – who is skilled at putting people to ease and not suspecting him – and two clowns. Thus, any experience of human interaction he can draw upon comes from three people skilled at snappy comebacks and conversations that aren't serious, or are disarming, to say the least."

Naruto sulked as he crossed his arms. "I can have conversations that are serious."

"Yes. And you promptly ruin them with that big mouth of yours."

Naruto didn't think that deserved the dignity of a reply, so he morosely kept his mouth shut and glowered at Sasuke, as if daring him to contribute. Sasuke merely resumed watching Ino continue her dismantling of the rabbit a few moments more.

Then, "We think it's about scientific experiments."

Ino paused in her aggressive omnivorous feasting. "Eh?"

Sasuke propped one stiff arm against a knee, slowly forced his fingers into a fist, and then rested his chin upon it. "There was a portion of the caves lined with cages, and within the cages were humans who had been forcefully mutated somehow into mindless beasts. At least, that was what it looked from my point of view – not having the information and the directives involved, I cannot truly really say what was going on. Nonetheless, I know what I saw, and I saw what Sakura saw.

"Apparently, it was cleaned away. Of the team that entered the caves, the only one truly accounted for is Sakura, who is alive and not-so-well. She reports that Kiba died, but his body was never recovered. No evidence of Ochi or Gina's fates were found. I do know that Ochi died, because I cut his own throat."

Ino growled. "And you said it was because he was tortured. We have very capable med-nins who can heal all kinds of damage and torture."

Sasuke's eyes flickered to Ino, and she quailed at the unexpected glow of fierce anger. "Yes, perhaps." Sasuke's voice was monotonous and without emotion. "But I know there isn't a single med-nin in the world who could reattach hands and feet to cauterized limbs, even if you could find the missing bits. Or eyes stripped from their sockets or tongue sliced free." He waved his free hand dismissively. "Not to mention the fact that he was skewered on the tree when I found him, and he would have died very quickly and painfully once removed."

Sasuke, whether because of the wide-eyed looks of horror the children cast him or because he was simply growing tired of reciting details he never cared for in the first place, tactfully failed to mention how Ochi was also castrated. Just as well – Ino looked ready to cram the spit down his throat if he tried to continue with the gory details. Damnable woman shouldn't be sheltering the children so. "I don't know if his body is still there or not, being located on the other side of the network of caves and therefore beyond the area the searchers canvassed. We can use Kasshoku to sniff out the scene."

Mimi gulped and looked quite green at the idea of having to search for a mutilated corpse left out in the elements for nearly a week - the corpse of someone who was her uncle's teammate and therefore would be dragged over to her home at least once a week for a "homecooked meal." Kasshoku whined and poked his cold nose against her hand, and Mimi listlessly lifted it to scratch behind his ears. Sasuke studied her a moment before continuing.

"Be also on the lookout for anything concerning Gina."

Ino nibbled on the inside of her lip. "I just had a terrible thought..." she began. She trailed off nervously, and then straightened her shoulders. "What if the reason nothing about Gina was found was because she's a traitor?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke in askance, and Sasuke frowned unhappily. "That would not fit into any of the pattern we've figured out so far. Sakura's experience suggests that someone from Konoha is behind this, but Kabuto suspects it's more likely someone in the medical field than someone like Gina – she wasn't very adept with the sciences." Sasuke was silent for a moment, and then his eyes shifted off to the side, glinting sharingan for a mere second. "Her expertise with anatomy aside, of course."

He ducked the piece of wood that Ino hurled at him. "No, I suspect she was killed like Kiba had been, and Kiba was not an experiment – just another victim." His eyes slowly traveled over the Genins. "We reach the caves tomorrow. Any questions?"

The audience was silent. "Get some sleep."

Naruto stood. "I'll begin first watch," he said, before leaping into the tree branches overhead. Ino growled unhappily about the children now going to get nightmares as she banked the fire.

Sasuke silently believed the children got the better end of the deal – better to live with nightmares of second-hand information, rather than experiencing it first-hand.


	12. Chapter 12

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Demeter1 made me do it.

NOTES: My sense of humor reared its ugly head. :( Naruto and Ino had way too much fun with this chapter. It should also be very clear that I am really, really fond of Kabuto.

* * *

"We're not going into the caves," Naruto announced as they stood at the foot of the mountain laced with the network of caverns and caves. "We're going to search _around_ them for any evidence. I'm hoping that if so much attention was paid to getting rid of the evidence within, we might find something outside. Now," he turned to Mimi, "let's put Kasshoku to work. I'm with you. Jac and Ko? You stick with Ino. Sasuke-"

"Will do whatever Sasuke damn well pleases," Sasuke put in flatly. "And Sasuke will follow Kasshoku."

Kasshoku looked at him with her large, expressive eyes. Sasuke looked back. Kasshoku whined and ducked behind Mimi with her tail between her legs. Mimi scolded her with a finger up in the air, "No, no, it's all right. Sasuke-senpai is coming along to help protect us." Kasshoku whined again, and Mimi looked from Sasuke to Naruto with uncertainty. "I dunno; Naruto-sensei?" Naruto crossed his arms and cocked his head thoughtfully to the side. "Aren't you supposed to protect us from Sasuke-senpai?"

Ino squawked in dismay as Naruto rubbed his chin, as if trying to forcefully stay a grin that was threatening to invade his face.

"If I'm protecting you from unseen enemies," Sasuke began slowly, "and Naruto is protecting you from me, then who is going to protect Naruto?"

"Naruto-" Ino pushed forward and planted herself in front of Mimi, "-and his fast reflexes can take care of Naruto! We will all stick together!" She glared at Naruto, as if daring him to countermand her order. "If these people are so dangerous to overcome Ochi, then none of the children stand a chance. There is safety in numbers and, admittedly, I would sooner take my chances with the known, although not by much, danger of Sasuke versus the unknown out there." She waved a hand to indicate their wooded surroundings.

Naruto, contrary to most rumors, did have a sense of safety. It was what prevented him from opening up his mouth and saying something incredibly stupid that would have had Ino cramming her foot down his throat.

Which was why he merely smiled at her. "Fan out, though," he said, motioning sideways with his arms. "We'll cover more ground. I'll pair up with Mimi and Kasshoku. Sasuke, you and Jac can go that way," he pointed left, "and Ino can take Ko and go that way," he pointed right. "Signal immediately for something suspicious – even if it's just a squirrel. Let's get at this."

oOoOoOo

Sakura and Tsunade sat together in awkward silence. Sakura rubbed her sore arm and thought of all the things she should say, or had wanted to say, in the past few days. To all intents and purposes, she appeared to be merely gazing at Tsunade's feet with a loss for words. In her eyes, though, she saw mini-Angel Kiba and mini-Demon Kiba wrestling around and arguing over who was going to be the first, whatever that meant.

Considering how it involved Kiba, Sakura was fairly certain she wouldn't like to know what this first was all about. Probably had something to do with being the first to glance up Tsunade's clothes. The real Kiba had left (_what am I talking about? He's dead he's always been gone and I'll never see him again except the memorial(_ and Naruto and Kakashi were out following Tsunade's commands. Sakura felt isolated and abandoned, the sharp burn of resentment in her stomach directed at Tsunade.

Her teacher in both strength and medicine had effectively removed all of Sakura's pillars of support. When Sakura had stood to retreat to her room for another dosage of morphine, Tsunade, without uncrossing her arms or opening her eyes, firmly said between gritted teeth, "Sakura. Sit. Down."

Sakura sat down. And she continued to sit, butt and leg numb and her mind quickly retreating to that stage. Seconds were creeping past her with one leg, dragging its broken and bleeding body across the gap to reach another hour.

She clasped her hands between her knees when she could no longer stand the silence or the sense of being doomed. "What now?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," Tsunade said with the harshness of a teacher at the end of her wits and patience. "That may be up to you."

Sakura cringed at the disapproval in Tsunade's voice, and quelled the rising bitterness in her stomach. This was her fault, after all. She killed Kiba; she nearly killed Kakashi. Gina and Ochi were dead and it was probably her fault too. Who knew if she had any direct connection to the missing medications and supplies, but that was probably her fault too.

And if there were an earthquake tomorrow that destroyed the great monument it would probably be her fault, too. At this point, what did one more major mistake matter? Once a person is broken, that was that. You couldn't put together a thousand pieces any more readily than you could put together ten thousand pieces.

Tsunade probably knew by now that Sakura had lost half her mind and, at any second it seemed, the other half would go screaming off into the distance in search of a mildly interesting activity.

"I'm sorry." Who said that it was once better to ask for forgiveness than to receive permission?

Tsunade sighed. "Apologies will not rescue you. They can't repair the damage done."

Sakura looked up from the wrestling Kibas. "No," she agreed sadly. "Nothing will rescue me." She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. With a heart-wrenching sigh, she pressed her forehead against her kneecaps and closed her eyes.

She felt, rather than heard, the entrance of a shinobi who whispered something to Tsunade. Tsunade murmured something in reply and then the shinobi departed. Tsunade was silent for a few moments longer before finally standing up. "Sakura, I want you to come with me. We're going to see a specialist."

Sakura wordlessly unknotted her limbs while her stomach roiled dangerously. Tsunade carefully wrapped a protective arm around Sakura's shoulder. "It's not a shrink," Tsunade whispered, "just some people who may help us answer some questions."

Sakura nodded her head dumbly.

She made sure to kick at the Kibas in passing. They booed her and made obscene gestures, which made her feel strangely better about herself. It was good to have her vindictive behavior vindicated. It seemed to confirm her, because she did things to deserve what was happening. Surely, she must have.

Two blocks later, Sakura experienced another seizure.

oOoOoOo

Two kilometers into the woods, and Kasshoku happened upon a body. This body, although dressed in the flak jacket and dark fatigues of a shinobi, was missing its head, its flesh rent to ribbons and the limbs dangling by mere strings of tendon and muscle.

Jac wrinkled his nose at the smell. "Ew."

Naruto whistled in wonder. "Looks like there's some dangerous animals out here in the woods." Then, his eyes widening as the implications as they pertained to his fellow teammates sinking into his brain, he exchanged looks with Sasuke. Sasuke's face was blank and motionless, but Naruto thought he read enough into it to know that Sasuke was thinking the same thing: those animals wouldn't happen to have been released scientific subjects, were they?

Ino crouched low to examine the remains. Her face was set in a calculating, emotionless expression as she easily riffled the clothes, stiff as they were with blood. "No weapons on it," she reported. "Time of death appears to be four, five days ago." She squinted upward through the tree branches, where sunlight barely filtered through the thick canvass of leaves. "Body seems to have missed any scavengers. Funny, that." She peeled back a few more layers of clothing, carefully holding her breath and minimal contact. "Male," she said, finally. "Definitely wouldn't be Gina's body."

"Or Ochi," Naruto said. The look Ino gave him was speculative, but Naruto pressed his lips together and maintained an air of silence.

Sasuke straightened. "Anyone else notice the lack of birds?"

Naruto raised his hand. "Just from personal experience, there aren't too many birds around in this region. At least, none that _I_ have noticed."

Sasuke turned those words through his mind. "Anyone else who isn't likely to scare off the birds in this region?" he deadpanned.

"Neither the children, nor I, have been in this area," Ino reported calmly. Sasuke took a deep breath, and then gathered his legs beneath him.

Poised to jump, he said, "Stay together. I'm going to root out predators." He leapt upward through the trees, stiff arms pressed tightly against his sides. He bounced off through the branches like a graceful feline stalking prey, very little betrayed by the cast of his face or the lay of his body.

Naruto sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "I feel like we just sent the lion to fetch the lambs."

Ino looked down once more at the body. "I don't know, Naruto. Whatever lamb did this had to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. You kids, come with us." She grinned, suddenly and wickedly. "We're getting away from the scene and finding a higher place to watch the fireworks."

oOoOoOo

Sasuke moved silently through the woods, his entire world focused upon one thing only: a target; something that would soon bear the brunt of his attention. He moved with concise precision. He conserved energy simply by insuring that everything had a purpose. (Because without purpose, he lost his way. Righteousness was a straight and narrow path, but it wasn't guided; it was a dark path, and strong temptations lay at either side, ripping at his ankles.)

Within his mind, behind the metal bars he had erected, a dark beast slithered and whispered seductive words in a sibilant voice. The words tried to entangle him within a fantasy of dark lust and spilt blood. All the power that he could imagine – all the skills, the techniques, every desire and dream – lay at his fingertips. (Except, reasonably speaking, his fingertips didn't work, hadn't worked from fingertips to shoulder since he was fifteen years old and he realized that the path of redemption ran through the pits of hell.)

He had to deafen himself to the words, and retreat behind walls and walls of emptiness to preserve what sanity remained. In doing so, the price of being sane was extracted from his body. The emptiness between his mind and the poisoned mind of another leached into his body. His hands and arms mirrored the other's, and there he managed to stop emptiness from completely consuming his body. (But the rest of him was numb – as if his body was cast between two realities, and the reality in which he felt sensations and textures existed in a realm of light that he dare not intrude upon.)

Being only human, Sasuke sometimes wanted to lash out at the world. His darker emotions, always very prevalent since the weasel-bastard revealed himself, were lovingly incited by the sibilant voice.

The first time he followed through was the first time Sasuke realized his true nature and all the potential of the world. Berserker. (Unstoppable, undefeatable, the only one who knew could truly be a force reckoned against his own was Naruto, and only because Naruto had a demon to back him up.)

Now, his emotions incited without the help of the voice, a treasure threatened and riling whatever it was that made him feel so protective, he felt that dangerous yearning that coursed through his body like chakra. He felt it snaking across his skin, itching a burning path across his shoulders and down his spine. (It took years of practice and far too much of Kabuto's needle-precise care before he learned to ride the edges of the Berserk, allowing madness to color his actions but always, always in control of himself, because the control was paramount if he expected not to be consumed by the ravenous beast.)

He easily dashed up the tallest tree's trunk until he stood, the thin top swaying slightly, almost undisturbed by his weight. The whole world seemed to lie just beyond his reach, a vast expanse of nothing that was absolute, of everything that could never be. He activated the sharingan and the world of nothingness was suddenly mapped into layers of life and energy. Bright against the darkness, the beacons of light each were a wealth of information, waiting to be dissected. He detected movement and discerned identities. A little to the east from the direction he came he instantly pinpointed Naruto's presence, surrounded by four – no, Kasshoku – five others.

Far to the west was a small camp of humans – that bore investigation. But north by west, a dim something caught his attention. Under ordinary circumstances he would have dismissed it as nothing. But it tugged at his attention, and so when he descended from the tree, his destination was to Naruto and Kasshoku so they could investigate with him.

oOoOoOo

Tsunade piggy-backed an unconscious Sakura to the doctor's office and gently laid her out in one of the waiting room's chairs. Kakashi was waiting for them, but didn't move when they made their entrance. Concern flashed briefly across his face before he leaned over and pushed Sakura's sweat-damp hair from her face.

"Did you ever before see her experience seizures?" Tsunade asked in a low voice to prevent the nurse at the front from hearing. The stark, white waiting room was otherwise devoid of life.

Kakashi shook his head as he leaned back into his chair. "No. What do you think is happening?"

Tsunade's expression crumpled, and Kakashi was suddenly struck by how, in the here and now, she was just an older woman looking down at a beloved daughter and wondering what she could have done to prevent such tragedy. With an entire village to run and protect, Tsunade didn't have much time for individuals. But for those individuals, she could very well tear asunder reality to protect and heal.

But when reality _is_ torn asunder, what was left for her to do?

"I'm scared," Tsunade admitted reluctantly. "I'm scared of the different implications and what all could be involved. I don't understand fully what's going on." Her eyes narrowed and she glanced sideways at Kakashi. "Hinata?" she asked cryptically.

The nurse at the front set a heavy folder down. "Haruno, Sakura?" she called.

Kakashi waved one hand. "Coming," he said. He bent close and scooped Sakura close. He was acutely aware of how light she was, but shouldn't be. He wondered what all she had eaten besides Tenten's dumplings. "Neji, Konohamaru, and Hana are helping."

Tsunade laughed under her breath. "Odd how nearly everyone from Naruto's graduating class and those classes closest are the most trustworthy in this village."

Kakashi paused long enough to quirk an eyebrow and look at Tsunade in feigned interest. "And if they aren't trustworthy, their fuck-up is so spectacular they get labeled no less than S in the Bingo Book."

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose. "And how!" she muttered irritably, although Kakashi had already followed the nurse through the doors. The nurse looked concerned and was raising her voice in question, but Kakashi steadfastly ignored it.

He was led to an empty room, as pristine and as stark as the waiting room. He gently laid Sakura out upon the slightly-crumpled white paper that protectively covered the examination bench, and then seated himself beside her. A moment passed before he modestly straightened her shirt. Another moment passed. He reached out and touched her hair, letting pink strands slide through his fingers. Sakura stirred slightly and seemed to move closer to his touch.

When the room's door quietly swung open, he glanced over his shoulder, and then stiffened. His free hand dropped dangerously close to the kunai pouch strapped to his thigh.

Kabuto shook a disapproving finger. "Now, now," he said lightly, "I mean no harm."

"Just ignore the dangerous, unknown ninja with the mysterious goals and motivations in a surprisingly sinister-looking pair of spectacles," Kakashi growled.

Kabuto pushed those very objects back up his nose with his left hand, since a box of medical materials were neatly tucked beneath his right. They glinted, almost comically, in response. "Theoretically, yes." He smiled benignly and made a sweeping gesture with his hand. "Of course, you should have realized this – wherever the young sir goes, I follow."

Kakashi studied Kabuto for a moment. "Sasuke. Of course."

"Of course!"

"Does–"

"Of course!" Kabuto carefully set the box down on the examination table just above Sakura's head. "I even brought my own medical supplies so others may not wonder where the supplies already in this room went, to add to the rather long list of already-missing materials. You people have enough problems on your hands," he added dismissively as he snapped on a pair of latex gloves. From under the examination table he pulled out a small stool on wheels, and seated himself on it.

Kakashi watched him closely, his hands never straying far from the pouch or Sakura.

"I understand your care of this student," Kabuto said peacefully as he carefully reached over and snagged Sakura's limp arm. "So very much like the care and concern of the last one we exchanged words over." He smiled at Kakashi's frown and growing tension. "But bear in mind I have nothing for or against Sakura-san. Indeed, she's a rather fine and upstanding med-nin, and the med-nin in me cringes at what has happened. Such a _waste_." Kabuto rolled her arm into his lap and positioned it so he could tie a tourniquet he snagged from the box around her upper arm. He began to carefully palpate Sakura's veins, following the line up to the inner aspect of her forearm. "Your Hokage felt it best that an independent, unbiased third-party should do a few simple tests that wouldn't alert anyone within the village."

"Naturally, this means you," Kakashi muttered.

"If you insist on getting the young sir involved, then yes, naturally, that means me."

"Unbiased?

"The closest you're going to get." Kabuto, selecting the vein he wanted, swabbed it. As he waited for the area to dry, he quickly removed other supplies from the box and neatly arranged them alongside Sakura's body. "When you are shinobi and medic," Kabuto said softly, "the lines of ethics blur and meld together, until there is nothing to stand for or draw the line at." Holding the skin taut over the vein with one hand, he swiftly and gently punctured through with a needle in the other hand. Kakashi twitched before stilling.

"But there is one thing that I have never betrayed, and that is the abuse of medicinal supplies and drugs." His eyes were sharp and steady, though something dangerous brewed in their depths. "I despise anyone who does."

The syringe filled slowly as Kabuto gently pulled back the plunger. When it was filled, he gently eased the needle from Sakura's arm and placed it on the table. He rested his fingertips against the puncture site for only a moment, but it was enough to heal the needle stick and any subsequent bruising. His fingers, Kakashi reckoned, lingered upon Sakura's skin longer than they should. But then, he wasn't the med-nin now, was he?

Kabuto unstopped a laboratory tube and ejected the blood from the needle down the inside. Moving very deliberately, he placed his hand directly over Sakura's abdomen and let it rest there for several long moments. Kakashi shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but Kabuto didn't seem disturbed. It looked like he was running some chakra-based diagnostics, the same way that Sakura often did, and that had many dangerous implications. But since he didn't dare interrupt the delicate flow of chakra when Sakura was so vulnerable (and because he was also so very sure that Tsunade could correct any hidden potential damage that Kabuto may be causing, if the spy dared), Kakashi settled on glaring daggers at Kabuto. After another long moment had passed, Kabuto lifted his hand, replaced the tube top, and then stood to dispose of the needle within a red tub beside the door. "Now, we'll see if dragging me across the countryside is going to be worthwhile," he said cheerfully as he quickly cleaned up any evidence of being in the room.

"Thank you," said Kakashi mechanically, although he felt like throttling the spy for doing so much as drawing blood from Sakura, despite it being for her own good.

"Oh, don't thank me," Kabuto said politely, although the look in his eyes made it very clear he knew precisely what Kakashi was feeling and was rightfully smug in knowing there was nothing Kakashi could do. "Thank the young sir and him." He nodded his head to the empty corner of the room, and then quietly retreated.

oOoOoOo

Naruto wrinkled his nose at the sight and sounds of droning flies as they surrounded and crawled about on the bloody, unmoving carcass propped against the tree trunk, not a stone's throw from the burbling spring. Half-hidden in the bushes, out of the sun and sheltered from rain, it might not have been possible to ever find the body if Kasshoku hadn't sniffed it out and Sasuke hadn't noticed the possibility of it.

He could barely hear Sasuke's subtle footsteps closely behind, but said nothing. Kneeling carefully amongst the pine needles and dead leaves, Naruto carefully pushed back a low-lying branch and bent over to peer closely at the face that had once been lovely. The eyes were caked closed with blood that came from rents across the flesh, the discoloration an ugly assortment of green, blue, purple, and black.

As Naruto reached down the brush away the scraggly locks of tangled brown hair, he softly said for Sasuke's benefits, "I found Gina's body."

Quick as lightening and as startling as actually being struck down by a bolt, Gina's hand shot upward, grabbed Naruto's collar, and twisted it severely while yanking his face close to her own. "You f-found a l-lot more than _just _m-my b-b-body. Don't print my name on the m-m-monument yet," she snapped in a thick, raspy voice. Naruto gulped as her foul breath washed over him.

"T-too late," he choked with watering eyes.

One of Gina's eyes jerked open; it wavered and trembled, filled with blood and pus. "Wh-what?" Her hand finally dropped free from Naruto's collar to fall limply at her side.

"Yeah." Naruto rubbed his throat and grinned unabashed as Sasuke's blank face peered over his shoulder. At least Sasuke's breath was a little more bearable. "It was a lovely ceremony - Kiba's sister wrote a lovely eulogy for everyone. You should been there."

Sasuke was still for a moment before rolling his eyes and whacking up the side of Naruto's head with the heel of his hand.

"Ouch!" Naruto rubbed what he knew was going to be a bruise the next day. "What was _that_ for?"

"Sorry," Gina said snidely. "The next time I d-die, I p-promise t-to attend my own funeral."

Naruto, realizing his blunder too late, felt his face turn red in shame just as he heard the hurrying footsteps of Ino and her team, following Kasshoku's tugging and whining.

"Found something?" Ino asked breathlessly as she pushed effortlessly past Naruto and easily bumped Sasuke out of her path with a well-timed swivel of her hip. "Gina!"

"Great - I've been r-relegated to an _object_."

Ino unclipped her water bag free from her belt and displaced Naruto with a well-timed swivel-and-bump of her hip. "Mimi! Where's your med-kit?" Naruto helped Ino sit Gina up and carefully dribbled water over the cracked, swollen lips. "Careful, careful," she said in a crooning voice as Gina lifted a shaky hand to tilt the water bag and hurry along the flow of water.

"Sensei," Mimi began nervously, clutching her med-kit close, "I don't have the experience for anything this extensive." Sasuke ripped the med-kit from her hands. "Hey!"

"I," Sasuke said flatly as he laid the kit down and opened it deftly despite his stiff fingers, "haven't been with Kabuto for nearly a decade without picking up _something_ along the way."

"That bored, eh?" Naruto asked.

"The companionship could have been worse," Sasuke agreed with a slant-eyed look toward Naruto.

Sasuke dribbled some of Ino's water onto a surgical bandage and handed it to Mimi. "Clean her face carefully," he said. He straddled Gina's waist and carefully worked his fingers beneath her blood-stiffened clothes to carefully pry them away from the angry-looking wounds that criss-crossed her chest.

"Watch it, bub," Gina muttered saucily as she finally managed to focus a wavering eye on Sasuke. "Most men gotta p-pay through the nose to re-remove _my _clothes."

Sasuke stared at Gina for a long moment before breaking into a genuine smile. "Naruto," he said, "I think I have, at last, found a woman worthy enough to bear my heir." Ino elbowed him sharply in the side, so he elbowed her back. "What are _you_ protesting for? _You're_ already married."

That made both of Gina's eyes snap open and focus only slightly off-kilter upon Sasuke with a look that would have made a lesser man burst into flames. "I am in _no mood _to make babies right now!"

Sasuke waved her protests away as he soaked a strip of surgical bandage with hydrogen peroxide and began to gently clean the edges of the festering wounds slashed across her shoulders and collar bones. "Darling," he declared in a theatrically light voice, "one step at a time. Why, what would my family think that I managed to move so fast on a woman?"

" 'Lucky dog,' " Ino ventured to guess.

Naruto grinned. "That you're not actually gay?"

" 'Finally, he's doing something worthwhile in his life.' "

" ' We'll have one less son to worry about getting hitched.' "

"Hell, at least it's not the son everyone hopes won't _breed_ – although I think we were all hoping _neither_ would." And then Naruto and Ino were off on their bantering, having warmed up.

"The two of them hooking up – it might improve their reputations," Naruto said with a cheeky grin.

"Imagine the wedding invitations!"

"The decorations!"

"The guests!"

"Oh, god, no! Perish the though, Ino!"

Gina frowned and tried to focus on Sasuke's face as Naruto and Ino grinned more in relief than in humor. "What - just who the _hell_ are you?"

"Uchiha Sasuke," Naruto answered brightly.

"WHAT?"

Ino gently petted Gina's hair. "But you often said you had a thing for bad boys."

"Not S-class villains - ouch! Watch it!" Gina glared at Mimi, and then at Sasuke as he finally parted her shirt. "M-must you strip me before an audience?"

"I know that a naked woman looks like," Sasuke replied. "And although Naruto is a clueless blockhead-" ("Oi!") "-the rest of your audience has nothing you don't have." Ko and Jac finally stumbled through the bushes, their eyes wide in surprise and curiosity. "Never mind." He liberally poured hydrogen peroxide over her wounds.

"That's cold!" she snarled.

Sasuke ignored her. "Although I must say what you have looks _very _fine, even at this moment."

Ino whacked Sasuke before turning back to Gina. "What happened? Do you have the strength to report?"

Gina struggled to sit upright. "Ready and willing," she said with a hint of desperation. "Bastards thought they could keep me down – I'll see them in hell first!"


	13. Chapter 13

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Demeter1 made me do it.

NOTES: I'm trying really hard at this romance thing! D: Am also really, really fond of Inuzuka Tsume.

* * *

Sakura's conscience was slow in returning to the surface, but it was crystal clear, just as it had been after her first seizure. Amazingly enough, her back and arm ached far less than they usually did.

As she carefully looked around at her white surroundings, she heard a stirring. Kakashi knelt down beside her. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Well enough, I suppose," Sakura said breathlessly. "Where are – oh. Oh." Her good mood evaporated. "The specialist."

"Who hasn't come in yet."

Sakura pushed herself upright, and then felt along the line of her collarbone. There was a small ache, but nothing compared to what it had been. Along the seeking lines of her chakra, she felt the fracture that had been left a fracture was closed now, completely healed. She frowned at that, because Tsunade hadn't made any move to aid Sakura's recovery, and the doctor had been very clear in his order to not use any aid while she was recovering.

She reached around and pressed a hand against her back, and then wriggled her hips side-to-side and bobbed her shoulders up and down.

Kakashi made a choking noise deep in his throat. Sakura looked at him with a sense of mischievousness, and he matched it with blatant innocence. "Why do I feel so, so, good?" she asked finally.

Kakashi's unhappy frown sent Sakura's mind channeling down a pipe of confusion. "Never mind," she said softly, turning her face away. Any reason for not experiencing pain looked to be one that Kakashi did not care to share. Fine and well; she should be used to secrets by now.

They sat together in uncomfortable silence for a moment before Kiba popped his head into Sakura's view. "Ahh!" She fell backwards and thumped her head against the wall. Kakashi leapt to his feet and grabbed her shoulders. "Y-you!"

Kiba threw his chest out and grinned, unabashed. "Me!" he cried triumphantly. He crossed his arms smugly before himself, and then frowned as Kakashi leaned through his torso.

"Are you okay, Sakura?" Kakashi asked with concern.

Kiba made a face and stepped aside. "I feel violated," he grumbled, jamming his hands into his pockets. "All the nice things that I do and accomplish, and all I get for it is this." He kicked a toe forlornly into the floor as Sakura sighed, then smiled bravely at Kakashi.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I thought I saw something." She ignored Kiba's complaining in the background ("Oh, you _thought_ you _saw something_. Fine. Well, just _think of me_ every now and then, won't you?") as she began to explore the line of her back, fingers prodding for any tell-tale soreness.

Kakashi watched her with a heavy-lidded expression, one that bore on Sakura until she finally dropped her hand and wriggled uncomfortably. "How much longer?" she asked finally. Kakashi stared silently at her, and then turned and looked at the door. It silently swung upon and a doctor, Sakura's file help up so she couldn't see the person's face, stepped through.

"Ah." The file dropped away and Sakura was startled to see the council member who had brought her chicken soup what seemed an eternity ago. "How are you feeling?" she asked without preamble, seating herself beside Sakura. Kakashi's eyed flickered at the seat the woman sat upon, but he said nothing. "I've talked to the Hokage regarding what has been reported, but I would like to hear it from you."

Sakura ransacked her mind in an effort to remember what the woman's name was, but all she could think of were cleaning supplies.

"You could," began Kiba somewhere, "you know, just _ask_."

That seemed like a good place to start. "I apologize if I seem spaced out," Sakura began with what she hoped was a winning smile (at least, she considered, this time she was wearing actual clothes _and_ a bra, to boot), "and please forgive if you've said so before, but I can't remember your name."

The woman's eyes were hard and flat, and when she smiled it didn't reach further than the corner of her curling lips. "I see," she murmured.

"Oh, brother." Kiba, again. "Not her, too!" Sakura felt the brush of his hands along her shoulders as he settled down beside her on the bench. "I'm bored," he complained in a low whisper, brushing his lips against the side of her neck. Sakura squirmed uncomfortably, feeling Kakashi's eye boring into her. She suddenly felt embarrassed that Kiba would take such familiarity with her – certainly he hadn't done it when he was alive!

"Actually, I did. But – very well. I'll just go off and bug Mom or something. Try and stay out of trouble," Kiba added as he jumped off the table and floated past Kakashi. He looked at Kakashi long and hard. "There's something here that doesn't feel right," Kiba muttered before floating through the door.

Sakura startled when the other woman cleared her throat, and then shamefully realized that the woman had just finished explaining something. "I'm sorry," Sakura said in a small voice, "could you repeat that?"

The woman's eyes narrowed in irritation. Sakura had known from the moment she saw her as she gave her report of findings that this woman did not suffer foolishness well. "My name is Doctor Ishin Mayumi. I am a psychologist with a specialization in PTSD. I wish to speak to you concerning the events of your failed mission and what has happened thereafter." She turned her head just enough to peer pointedly at Kakashi from the corner of her eye. "It is against my policy to have an audience."

Sakura set her jaw firmly. "Kakashi stays."

"I must insist that he goes. "

She gritted her teeth and clenched her fist. "Kakashi. Stays." Dr. Ishin's face slackened from its perpetual uptightness, her eyes widening in surprise. "Kakashi answered Kiba's call when Kiba knew the mission was out of our means. That makes him part of my experience."

Dr. Ishin recovered from her surprise quickly. "I would not have him present, coloring your perceptions."

"What perceptions? The perceptions that I'm half out of my mind?"

Dr. Ishin shuffled through Sakura's file. "And there may be probable cause of that," she said calmly, while Sakura felt like ripping her hair out. Instead, she took a steady breath to try and control the trembling in her arms. "But I don't wish to discuss it when-"

"He has my permission to stay."

"I'm afraid you aren't in any position to be giving permission."

Sakura's jaw dropped. The trembling increased. "So I'm being treated like a minor?"

"With the current state of your mind, you can't legally make the decision. An appointed guardian would, but for that Tsunade-sama would make a decision."

Sakura stared silently at the council member. A pressure was building up in her head, roiling and boiling, a bubble of cancer that was consuming her thoughts. Kakashi sighed and stood, sending Sakura a look of regret. It lanced through the bubble, and her thoughts popped into volume - I'M FUCKING TAUGHT TO KILL AT THE AGE OF TWELVE AND I'M TOO UNSTABLE RIGHT NOW TO GIVE SOMEONE PERMISSION TO STAY WITH ME WHILE YOU DISSECT MY PSYCHE PIECE BY PIECE AND PUT IT ON DISPLAY LIKE A GORY TROPHY I'M GOING TO POUND YOU UNTIL—

Kakashi grabbed Sakura before her seizure's convulsions made her slip free from the bench. His eye was wide as her legs slid out beneath. There was someone snarling in the background, but Sakura didn't know who it was because she was too delighted to hear Inner Sakura screaming the pent-up rage that Sakura wanted to vent.

oOoOoOo

Gina didn't talk much, but then there wasn't much that she did know. Despite it not being much, it either filled in a few blanks or confirmed what Sasuke had suspected but neither he, nor Naruto, could confirm out loud. As she talked, Sasuke continued his make-shift patching of her wounds. Ino dug around into her flak-jacket's pockets before coming up with a powdered protein mix. She added it to her canteen and allowed Gina a sip every few sentences. Amazingly enough, the only reason why Gina had survived and escaped her ambush was because few people thought someone of her reputation made a very good ninja. Unfortunately, they forgot the part of how she'd been a Special Jounin a number of years before going covert.

When Gina finished her report, Naruto, without preamble or waiting for any questions from Gina, launched into a quick tale of events that had occurred since Sakura left the caves. Gina remained silent, but her face changed expressions a number of times. "Jackasses; they really fucked up," she muttered, although no one could guess if it referred to her teammates for dying, the people after Sakura, or just the entire world in general.

When you hated the entire world to begin with, it didn't really matter.

When Sasuke finished patching up the wounds, he quickly replaced the supplies back into the box. As he did, Mimi started asking him questions regarding his care. Sasuke was silent a moment before he snapped the box closed. "Ask Sakura those questions," he said as he gently handed the box back. "I know _what_ I'm supposed to do, but med-nin should know _why._"

He stood upright, arms swinging stiffly at his sides as he activated the sharingan. _All I know is death. What I could tell you about life is what it isn't. _"I'll be back," he told them stiffly before launching himself into the tree branches overhead.

Naruto placed a sturdy arm around Gina. "We'll start back," he informed the others. "Sasuke will confirm Gina's findings, but you're going to have to be moved slowly and carefully, especially since Mimi's skills aren't advanced to give you a healing boost and it looks like infection is going to try killing you soon, anyway."

Gina winced as Naruto pulled her onto his back. "I've had worse," she muttered bravely. "Hell, I've gone through _orgies_ that were worse."

Ino choked unhappily. Jac's interest perked up.

"Really?" he asked eagerly. "I've heard that-"

Ino slapped a hand over his mouth. "Mind _out_ of the gutter and _onto_ the mission," she growled in warning, a pointed look at the other Genins. She turned at Naruto. "Shouldn't you be the one to confirm?"

Naruto looked puzzled, poised and ready to jump into the tree branches as Sasuke had, but towards another direction. "Why?"

"Hell, Naruto, I know that there is no way in this lifetime that any of us would even _hint_ towards Sasuke's involvement in any report, verbal or otherwise, and _there will be no mention of this to anyone not directly involved with Sakura's personal care and even then in the most private of all settings_," she added this with a hard tone in her voice as she looked at the Genins, who nodded their heads and made zipping motions across their lips, "so how are we going to explain how we confirmed the information?"

Naruto shrugged, and received a nasty pinch from Gina for it. "It's going to take a mountain of people to even sort through this mess when all is said and done, let alone checking our confirmation. Tsunade will lock it away with other ultra Super Top Secret files, and no one will ever talk about it again except in hushed circles when they think no one is watching or listening." He was silent for a moment as his eyes darkened and his face twisted with anger. "Besides," he added in a low voice, careful to keep the deadly edge out to help preserve the children's innocence for just a little while longer, "besides, they don't deserve _my_ mercy."

"So," Ino replied flippantly with her hands upon her hips, "you'll just use Sasuke. Just use him like some sort of soulless executioner because you don't want to dirty your own hands." Naruto went very still. Ino's voice continued to prattle along as her Genins, a little wiser than most people gave them credit, slowly edged away from her. " Why not?" she added, crossing her arms and angling her body away. "When you've hit rock bottom, how much further can you dig?"

Naruto took a deep breath. "If you feel that way-"

"I," Ino cut him off before he could continue, "will stay. You kids, go with Naruto. This is going to get ugly."

Gina stirred. "You're a married woman," she said in a low voice.

"Of course!" Ino declared proudly. "I am a married woman – to a man whose questions himself each day if he does what he does out of denial of his fate being out of his control, or if he is truly trying to become free." She placed a hand on each of her students' heads. "Stay safe, all of you," she whispered.

Ko gripped her hand fiercely. "Don't worry, we'll be with Naruto-sensei."

"And _that_, right there," she flicked a finger across Ko's nose, "is why I'm telling you all to be safe."

oOoOoOo

Akamaru sniffed the streets outside and around the clinic Sakura visited. Tsunade leaned against a lamppost and watched him in silence. People passing by often started to wave or call out in greeting, but there was something about the way Tsunade watched the large dog, something about her body language that deterred the presence of others. The people dropped their voices and hands, and hurried on their way, hoping that whomever it was that Tsunade was looking ready to kill wasn't them or someone they knew.

A figure dropped from the top of the lamppost and landed soundlessly on the sidewalk beside Tsunade, brown hair sticking up in wild spikes everywhere. "Any new findings, Akamaru?" the woman asked, her voice husky. Tsunade looked down upon the head, and saw that the number of gray hairs the woman had had increased since the death of her son.

Akamaru paused in his sniffing to whine a moment.

"Thank you for helping us on such a short notice," Tsunade said cautiously.

Tsume rocked on her heels, chewing thoughtfully upon a single thumbnail. "Do you know why Kiba was so special to our clan? Because he was the first male born _into_ the clan in over seventy years - the _only_ male for these last ninety years. Oh, yes," she smiled at Tsunade's shocked expression. "The Inuzuka clan had been exclusively female up to that point. The male children before were given to their father's family to be raised and cared for, because our abilities are usually too dangerous to be taught to a male child. Not with our overall aggressiveness and our sense of smell."

Tsunade remained silent, giving an ear to Tsume's thoughts and grief. The Inuzuka clan was brash and loud, but few people knew the actual inner workings of the clan that was so involved with dogs. For whatever reason, Tsume felt there was a need to speak of those inner workings. At the very least Tsunade could lend an ear.

"Oh, I know that concentrating chakra to the nose is a useful trick and others could pick it up if they gave it enough practice. But not the dogs. Combine that with the dogs that made a pact with them many generations ago, and you get a male who is very sexual and hyper-aware of his surroundings. You get a male who is attentive to a woman's pheromones day in and day out. We had to ban men from our clan because of the rapes and abuses.

"My mother and sisters were outraged when I decided to keep Kiba. But I knew, in all that time he was in my womb, that he would be different. I knew that he could be trusted with our abilities, and that he would respect men and women. And when I held him in my arms upon his birth, he looked at me with his eyes and _he_ knew it as well. And now," her voice finally broke with grief, "and now he's gone."

"But he proved himself," Tsunade said finally.

Tsume straightened up, her hands on her hips, and surveyed Akamaru with pride shining in her eyes. "Oh, yes. He proved himself to the clan; to my mother and sisters. He took something that was potentially a weakness for himself and a potential shame of the clan and he made it _work_ for Konoha."

"You were never ashamed with your son's decision to take the position he had?" Tsunade asked curiously. "It was not one to be made lightly, but neither is it a position of dignity."

Tsume looked at Tsunade with an expression of mingled love, pride, and anger. "And what," she asked rhetorically, "could be more dignified than preventing names being carved into the monument? The information may have been gathered in what others disdain or looked down upon, but it helped our men and women in their missions; increased their safety. Oh, I know some people think that sex is a weak weapon to use and manipulate people with, and that someone like my son should feel more shame at being fucked like a dog. Dignity?" Tsume barked with laughter at the idea. "What's this thing you people call dignity? Dogs understand loyalty and necessity more than dignity. If you want dignity – get a cat!

"What is life about, really? You live, you die, you eat and sleep and breathe, and somewhere, most of the time, you get laid. If you can bring any of those to use for other people, that's even better. Dogs like to think they're being useful and loved and that their masters approve heartily, and that was how Kiba felt.

"Sometimes," here Tsume's voice became hesitant and softer, dropping to a whisper that Tsunade could barely make out. "Sometimes it feels as if he's near, and I catch his scent or hear his laughter. Sometimes, it's almost like he's still alive and all I have to do is turn around and there he stands, looking all disarrayed and totally debauched. I'm a simple woman – I love, I laugh, I sleep, I shit. Like a dog, really, and like a dog I don't understand what it means to lose someone dear. I know it, oh how I feel it, but I can't imagine Kiba being gone. I still smell him, and sometimes I hear him call my name or he stands at my shoulder, laughing and hugging. But he's not there. I feel so confused, and I am a kunoichi – I should know what death is about! But I can't imagine that Kiba won't be back, ever. Not when his spirit still lingers. That is when a person realizes just how dangerous it is to become to enmeshed with animals – I feel as confused as poor Akamaru out there, who understands his master isn't returning, but not that his master is dead. Death is too strange a concept – it requires too much understanding of the past – of what was – and the present – which is – and the future – what could have been, what will be. We can't _comprehend_ future.

"I think that helping Sakura-san and you will help me feel less confused. Perhaps it can help me accept that Kiba, my dear Kiba, the first and only male Inuzuka in almost a century, is gone and won't be back." With a regretful sigh, Tsume turned her head and narrowed her eyes at a sight just behind Tsunade's shoulder. Tsunade twisted to see what had captured the other woman's interest, and almost took a step at the anger that blazed within the hardened eyes.

"I suppose," said Kabuto conversationally, a large floppy hat covering his head and dark sunglasses taking up almost half his face, "when you're so close to canines, it's easy to see the world through a canine's eyes."

"Life _is_ simple," Tsume replied, a growl within the undercurrent of her voice, "it's only _people_ who make it complicated." Kabuto smiled and spread his hands in silent acknowledgement to her words, as if conceding defeat to an ongoing argument.

Tsume bared her teeth at him, as if delighting in a fantasy of ripping out his throat. "If you weren't on our side taking part on the grand scale, you'd be dead," she whispered.

The nature of Kabuto's smile changed just slightly to match the bloodlust of her own. "If you people hadn't screwed up enough that the young sir wound up getting dragged into this mess, then I and my energies would be happily occupied elsewhere."

Kabuto brushed past Tsume and Tsunade, his walk slow and casual enough to dispel curiosity and turned aside any interest a stranger might have had. Everything about him whispered _I belong; ignore me._ Tsunade couldn't help but think of Ochi.

Tsume whistled low, but Akamaru shook his head and continued sniffing around. As Kabuto walked down the street, Tsume fell into step with him, one last glance over her shoulder to her son's dog.

"Is it true," Kabuto's voice carried across the street to where Tsunade stood, "that the Inuzuka clan have children around the timeline of their litters?"

"Naturally! The puppy and the child have to be paired off together in time to begin basic training as a unit. They eat, sleep, play, and grow together, becoming a cohesive couple. You'll never find a better or more secure partnership."

Tsunade watched Akamaru's tail, bobbing slightly with every sniff and turn. "That's why we knew Sakura was telling the truth there," she whispered. Akamaru lifted his head and looked at Tsunade. His tail wagged twice. "Because you would not have returned without your master unless _you_ _knew_ he was dead, no matter how difficult it is for you to understand."

She felt, just then, the tender brush of knuckles against her cheek. Her eyes widening, she whipped her head around so swiftly that her pigtails flew in the air. There was no one standing beside her, but she knew she had caught someone's scent.

_Sometimes it feels as if he's near. _

Tsunade felt her mouth become dry as the palms of her hands became sticky. There were many odd things that occurred in the world that she didn't try to understand. For a while after Dan's death, she still continued to catch glimpses of him out of the corner of her eye – could still hear his voice calling to her and his running footsteps behind, as if he were trying to catch up as she ran, ran, ran away from the blood and the terror and her own failures.

Her awareness of her surroundings grew suddenly, until she felt that she was aware of every breath, every heartbeat, every passing step of every person. Features sharpened in her vision and the faces of no one she knew were burned into her memory – except that one, right there. The face was there, the memory eluded her, of a young medic she had seen around the hospital.

Tsunade's breath was sucked from her lungs for just a moment, and then it was gone. Akamaru's head swung up, and with a braying that made Tsunade's hair stand on head launched himself across the street, over the heads of the passersby, and into the village beyond.

She turned her back to the street suddenly and looked at the clinic's door. Before she knew it, she had entered the building and was striding down the hallway to Sakura's room, careful not to let her suspicions form into thoughts.


	14. Chapter 14

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Demeter1 made me do it.

NOTES: Just pretend that the Greek world and mythology kinda maybe sorta exists in the Naruto world. Otherwise, the logistics are kind of painful.

* * *

It didn't take very long for Sasuke to reach the small camp surrounded by ninjas. He rode the edges of the Berserk, his mind shattering in so many different directions. He mapped out his actions for each of the six guards in the camp, reactions and counters spreading out in his mind like a so-many branched tree, a _go_ game of living pieces and strategies stretching the limits of his imagination and strategic abilities. He crouched within the trees, masking his presence and suppressing the bloodlust that rippled beneath his skin. He rocked on his heels, his sharingan-eyes half-closed in contemplation.

The sibilant voice didn't usually like him, but it was looking forward to some mindless massacre. He shoved it back into the shadows, ignoring its shrieks of protests and the seductive possibilities in surrendering to the burning power at the base of his neck. No; what he needed to do was _ask questions_.

He could enjoy _asking questions_. Oh, yes. He would enjoy it. He would be patient and wait – he could give Naruto and the Genin that. He'll give them the consideration of being out of earshot before he began _questioning_.

When Tsunade entered the clinic, Kakashi, Sakura draped across his back, was just leaving the backrooms. Dr. Ishin was closely at his heel with Sakura's patient folder tucked firmly under her arm. Tsunade frowned in curiosity.

"Hokage-sama," Dr. Ishin began firmly, "why hasn't Haruna-kun seen anyone regarding these seizures she's been experiencing?"

Kakashi glanced from doctor to leader, glad that he didn't have to be caught between the two women like a vise. He stood at Tsunade's side for this, but if it were just a little more behind than it was beside, who would take notice?

"I did send someone," Tsunade said, crossing her arms before herself. "The seizures should not concern you."

"The impact of the seizures given her current state-"

"I am aware, Doctor," Tsunade cut the other woman's rattled words off with a curt tone and an irritated wave of her hand. "But there is no need to discuss a patient's information in a public setting. Privacy laws and all that," she added snidely. Dr. Ishin tucked one hand into her pocket while studying Tsunade's face. She bowed her head finally in concession. "Have a good day, Dr. Ishin," Tsunade said. "We shall speak of this later."

Tsunade turned her heel and made her way to the door, Kakashi falling into step with her. Once upon the street outside the clinic, they melted into the shadows of the background, wrapping illusions about to deceive watchful eyes. Moving quickly from one end of Konoha to another, they soon reached Tsunade's private quarters.

Carefully, gently, Kakashi laid Sakura on Tsunade's neatly-made bed. Tsunade wordlessly sank into a chair and looked at Sakura. "What are we going to do?" she asked as she tiredly massaged her temples. "How far-reaching is this damage, and how are we going to recover from it?"

Kakashi said nothing as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms thoughtfully before himself. "The good doctor," he drawled, "tried to pin post-traumatic stress disorder on Sakura-san."

"And what do you think?"

Kakashi shrugged. "I'm not a med-nin or a psychologist." There was something slightly accusatory in his voice, but he felt it was acceptable given the circumstances. Tsunade fluffed one braid as she cocked an eyebrow at Kakashi.

"You don't approve of me sending her for an evaluation."

He selected his words with care. "Evaluations usually don't have the feel of one of Ibiki-san's dissections."

"Are you saying that because of your witness to Sakura's behavior and how fast this is moving, or is it because of the events around Sakura's behavior?"

Kakashi was silent for a moment as his gaze strayed to Sakura's figure. "She was confused and lost because of the hallucinations caused by gas. She relays events that no one can _publicly_ confirm," his stress upon that word did not go unmissed as Tsunade smiled bitterly, "and she's… emotionally fragile."

"She's broken, Kakashi. Can't you feel that?" Tsunade slumped in her chair. "She broke down before the council, her reason and sanity shattering into shards. I came to visit her and she was screaming about snakes, broken again. If she can't handle the stress of the aftermath, then _how_ can we trust her in the future when she has to go back to killing and protecting… to the blood and the pain? My own mistakes and losses crippled me for so many years, and it was sheer dumb luck that Naruto happened to be in the right place and the right time, following the right sequence of events, to force me, kicking and screaming, to get over _my_ phobia of blood."

Kakashi's gaze lingered upon Sakura, before turning in on itself and looking off into the distant past that lingered only within his memories and experiences. "But she's not broken," Kakashi said finally. "She's not broken – if Sakura were to break, she'd lose her emotions. She'd become stoic, without reaction or feeling. She's instead become more affectionate, more clingy, and more open with her emotions." He pinned Tsunade with a steely glare. "None of which match with classic PTSD symptoms."

Tsunade shrugged. "I know that."

"Hokage-san, why did you let that doctor see Sakura?"

"A hunch."

Kakashi was silent, waiting for Tsunade to compound upon her explanation. With a sigh, Tsunade leaned forward. "I have a feeling for what's happening, but I need to remove the one factor that doesn't fit into the puzzle – Sakura. It's like – whenever I look at the pieces, I see one puzzle. But I can't help but shake the feeling that the reason why we can't seem to get anywhere with the puzzle is because there are more than one to begin with. You can't fit the pieces of two different puzzles together and hope to come up with an accurate picture of either one _as_ one."

Kakashi looked at Sakura. "But we don't even know what we're looking for," he said. "And that still doesn't explain why Sakura had to see the doctor."

Tsunade knitted her fingers together. "For all the two puzzles, Sakura seems to be a part of both. If we can understand how she became involved, maybe we can separate the two puzzles."

Kakashi mulled over Tsunade's words. She stood and retreated to the bedroom's entrance. Kakashi's sharp, indrawn breath brought her up-short. "What is it?" she asked, hurrying back to his side.

Kakashi's eye was wide as he gazed unseeing at the wall. "We may be looking at this in the wrong manner – what if she's _not_ supposed to have a role? What if the two puzzles are connected in an entirely different area, one which we completely ignored?"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed sharply. "What do you mean?"

"What if the puzzle we're looking at isn't a puzzle, but a cleverly-disguised trap?" Kakashi turned his gaze upon Tsunade – she took an unexpected step back at the leashed anger in his face, and then straightened her shoulders as if subconsciously chagrined at backing down so suddenly. "We've been looking beneath the beneath, trying to understand what we're seeing, but what if there _isn't_ a beneath the beneath? What if this is all just a consequence of smoke and mirrors?"

An icy shiver skittered down her spine. Tsunade rubbed her arms as goose bumps prickled her skin. "Then we're all in danger," she said softly. "We have to alert the others."

"That's the problem."

Tsunade was still for a long moment. "There are those whom I still trust implicitly. I shall alert them, quietly. Stay here as long as you think is necessary."

When Tsunade has left, Kakashi carefully knelt down beside the bed and tentatively reached for Sakura's limp hand.

oOoOoOo

_Deep in her mind, Sakura and Inner Sakura sat together on a log that had fallen across a small stream. The two women kicked their legs free, enjoying the soft, sunny summer day, the chirping of the birds, and the wind softly caressing their skin as it ran invisible tendrils through their hair. _

_But they were not here to seek peace, but to ask questions. _

"_I can't help but feel as though we're missing something," Inner Sakura said. "This is too big to involve just us. We're not **supposed** to be key players." _

"_Catalysts," Sakura replied. "We help things change, but are supposed to be completely independent of the process."_

"_Precisely. But we're forgetting something…" _

"_What could that be?"_

"…_A face," Inner Sakura said finally. "There's supposed to be a face – oh, think! Think back to the day before we left! Surely there must be something there! Some clue – some, some possibility that we haven't seen!" _

_Sakura sadly shook her head. "I don't know. I've been over it so many times and I can't find anything."_

"_**You **might have, but I've been out of commission for some time. I'll just start working on it. We ought to get somewhere with one of us always on board." _

oOoOoOo

Tsume wasn't too surprised when Kabuto's journey brought them directly to Sakura's home. The door was unlocked – which, of course, actually made sense. Anyone worth their salt as a ninja could pick the lock or sneak into someone's home. People who would do it to the home of Tsunade's apprentice were not too bright and would probably not be missed.

Mostly, she considered, as she caught sight of her reflection in Sakura's glass cupboard display of fine china.

"What are we looking for here?" Tsume asked.

Kabuto said nothing as he made a beeline for the refrigerator. Tsume snorted, disapprovingly. "If you're hungry, I've got food at my place I'm willing to give you – there's really no need to raid Sakura's food stores."

Kabuto opened the fridge. "Ah," he said cheerfully, ducking his head and peering within, "but do you have sweetmustard and turkey?"

Kiba's face flashed through her vision, his words drifting across her ears – _honestly, mom, I haven't been home to eat because Sakura's got this huge turkey to finish off and both Naruto and Kakashi are on missions, and you've always taught me that gentlemen help the ladies out!_ — and Tsume suddenly felt tempted to tell Kabuto that she didn't have turkey, but she did have a boot ready to go up his ass – just as she had told Kiba.

Without further explanation, Kabuto began to pull supplies from the fridge, sniffing and pinching off bits for a taste. "Haruna-san was undoubtedly taking some sort of narcotic for pain – search the house for any and bring it to me."

Tsume studied Kabuto for a moment. "Laced?"

"Possibly." Kabuto eyed Kuromaru for a moment.

"Don't even think about it, bub," Tsume growled in warning. He looked at her, and she flashed him a smile that was more teeth than anything else. "My dog ain't going to be used for taste-testing."

Kabuto smiled as he dipped a finger into a rice pudding, and then deliberately slipped it between his lips. "Right," he said cheerfully with a firm nod of his head, turning back to the fridge.

With a disgusted shake of her head, Tsume wandered off to search through Sakura's medicine cabinet – now, just how the hell did she manage to lose a good chunk of her roof and … and why were the stairs leading up bring her to the basement? "I'll never get anywhere in this mad house," Tsume muttered. She turned to Kuromaru. "Find something that smells like cough syrup," she commanded.

Kuromaru snorted and sniffed at the carpet. Tail wagging, he traced up and down the hall before his head lifted and he loped away. Tsume followed after, her senses extending to more than just the house. They eventually wound up in Sakura's bathroom. As Kuromaru wandered off, his nose in the air, Tsume flung open the medicine cabinet and roamed through its assorted supplies. She sniffed at various bottles, dismissing those with the stale scent of an object that hadn't been touched for some time. Those with a scent extending at least a week ago were selected.

A bottle of aspirin, some antacids, and a mouthwash.

As Tsume was picking these objects up, Kuromaru entered the bathroom, growling softly. She crouched low, placing a light hand upon his head and scratching his ears. "Whatcha got there?" she asked, carefully gripping the bottle he had gripped between his teeth. As he released it and backed away a few steps, Tsume thought she caught Kiba's scent. She automatically glanced over her shoulder, and felt acute disappointment and grief when she realized once again she would never see him standing behind, bent half-way over and peering curiously at what had caught her attention.

After riding out the grief, Tsume twisted off the bottle's cap. She took a deep sniff of its contents – morphine. She knew that scent, and was as familiar with it as many other ninjas. But there was something off about it – something that hinted on just this side of taint. She held the bottle out to Kuromaru. "What do you think?" she asked.

Kuromaru whined and sniffed twice. He sneezed and rubbed his nose against one foreleg.

"You and me both, hon. It's tainted with something it's not supposed to have." Tsume studied the bottle for a moment, tapping one pointed nail against the glass. "I think we found what we came looking for." She straightened, wincing at the grating pops in her knees. She was supposed to retire in two years, have her next and final child in three years, and settle down to enjoy raising pups – human and canine. It was a miracle in and of itself that she was still a healthy, relatively whole ninja still on active-duty at… fortysome years of age. Yeah.

"You just had to go and fuck up my plans with your death, didn't you?" she growled at the empty air.

There was a soft brush of _nothingness_ against her cheek. "Oh, fine. Be that way," she muttered as she left. A few moments passed before she whipped around the corner and looked wide-eyed at the little bathroom. It was empty, and she brushed wetness from the corner of her eyes. Kuromaru whined and poked his nose against the palm of her hand. "I'll be fine," she said.

When she returned to the kitchen with the bottle of morphine firmly in her hands, Kabuto looked up from the large bowl sitting on the table.

"I think," Kabuto began.

"Hey, you know," Tsume said, determined to speak first.

"I found it," they spoke at the same time. They stared at one another. "You _too_?"

Kabuto wordlessly held his hand out. Tsume handed him the bottle. He deftly removed the cap with a single twist of his wrist and sniffed. His eyes widening, he dabbed a droplet onto his pinky and lifted it to his lips.

He gently replaced the cap and firmly set the bottle onto the table beside the large bowl. His eyes, when he finally looked at Tsume, were filled with dismay. "Well, _shit_."

That, Tsume figured, probably did not bode well for Sakura.

oOoOoOo

Sasuke was very good at questioning – a pinch from the darker recesses of his mind for some more creative methods, a dollop of sentences Kabuto oh-so-casually mentioned in their conversations, and a splash of his very own sadism. Sasuke could cook together just about anything to get what he wanted.

Revenge had a very bitter taste, but necessity? Necessity can sometimes taste like poisoned candy.

The blood reached no further than his stiff hands and tongue. The tongue he merely tucked back into his mouth and savored the tangy, slightly bitter, taste of blood, but his hands he stiffly wiped off on a clean corner of one of the enemy's flakjackets. That accomplished, he turned and walked over to the base of a tree. Craning his neck back, he looked upward into the green depths and said softly, "Have you seen enough?"

The leaves rustled as Ino dropped out of them. Her face was stoic and her eyes haunted as she crossed her arms challengingly before herself. "I didn't think you ought to be left on your own," she said warily.

"I didn't think you'd trust your students with Naruto," Sasuke replied with the same stoic expression.

"Don't worry – Gina will keep Naruto in line." It was easier to speak of Naruto and the others, rather than dwelling on the implications of what he knew – and what he knew Ino had overheard.

One of Sasuke's eyebrows went up in mild surprise. "You trust a whore more than you trust Naruto?"

Ino's eyebrows both shot upward. "If someone like Gina could somehow put up with Kiba without the two of them killing one another for as long as they were together and were as successful as a team, do you honestly believe that Naruto could pose a problem?"

Sasuke just looked pointedly at Ino.

"Well," she relented slightly, "this _is_ Naruto we're talking about. But don't worry," she hastened to add, "because Naruto is very good with children and knows full well how fragile they are in comparison."

"You shelter those children too much," Sasuke said as he launched himself into the trees. Ino said nothing in reply as she hurried after him. He deliberately kept his pace a little too fast and a little too headlong for Ino to follow comfortably, forcing her to maintain a difficult speed – one that should prevent talk.

Ino gritted her teeth and kept in step with him, and still somehow managed to find the breath to speak. He supposed it must be a female thing, but mostly because Orochimaru and Kabuto hadn't exactly encouraged him to study women. "You're gotten darker since you've left."

Sasuke didn't think that deserved the dignity of a reply.

Ino seemed to sense such. "I mean – gah!" She tugged at her hair in frustration. "Don't you wonder why I came after you?" she demanded pointedly. Sasuke had, and really hoped it had nothing to do with a long-time crush of hers. She was, after all, a married woman, and he had absolutely no interest in going up against her husband in any form of combat. He had heard from Kiba that Neji was very possessive and that it stung like a bitch to get on the other end of the man's blows. "It's because," Ino continued blithely, as if she knew Sasuke was trying to ignore her, "of Prometheus."

Sasuke very nearly slipped off a branch and would have tumbled most gracelessly to the ground below if it weren't for the fact that his skills were so honed. "_What_?" The sibilant voice chuckled at his surprise, but he smothered it beneath another layer of darkness.

"A legend from another culture – I found it, and many others of its kind, to be fascinating – does it ring a bell?" Ino asked hopefully.

Sasuke resolutely shook his head.

Ino sighed and grumbled something under her breath about uncultured idiots and how she could swear there was a secret society of men somewhere who did their best to make sure they _stayed_ uncultured.

"Prometheus was a Titan who stole fire away from the gods," Ino began. "It was a gift to mankind that, according to mythology, was also created by Prometheus. Well, there's a long story about the feud between Prometheus and Zeus – one of the gods. In the end, Zeus chained Prometheus to a cliffside where an eagle consumed Prometheus' liver daily, but it would regenerate overnight. Well, some time later, Prometheus was rescued by this guy named Hercules, but that's a different story for a different time.

"My point is, Sasuke, the reason I came after you is because you remind me of Prometheus. You're chained to a cliffside and you're being consumed, and it doesn't matter if you're regenerating or not. You're, you're damned," Ino finished softly.

The sibilant voice laughed again, soft and velvet in the darkness. A flashing image – _fingers wrapped around a delicate throat, bloody welts rising from where his nails pierced the fair skin, and fingers clawing desperately at his arms as the rosy mouth opened and closed, begging for air _– and Sasuke locked it deeper still, wishing that Ino had ignored any supportive heroics she might have considered and stayed with Naruto.

"But I'm not your Hercules," Ino continued on assuredly. "I've already got my own Prometheus to care for. You'll just have to find your own, or become your own."

And what, Sasuke wondered (almost unhappily, if he could remember what to compare being unhappy with, since it really meant nothing to him in the end), had been the point of this.


	15. Chapter 15

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: Demeter1 didn't make me do it. I did it for Demeter1.

* * *

When Sakura finally rose from the depths of her personal darkness, Inner Sakura rose along with her, both bearing witness to the world and all its new changes. Kakashi was noticeably absent from the room, which did not look like hers at all.

They stared at the odd bedding, the funny colors of the walls, and finally decided it was in their best interest to promptly remove themselves from this strange atmosphere and hunt down the face that had eluded them for so long and so effectively.

It took only a moment for Sakura to pry open the window, swing a leg over the ledge, and ease herself through. She clung to the sill for a moment before silently dropping three stories to the ground. Crouching low, she took a deep breath as Inner Sakura jumped to the forefront of her mind and instantly began a deep surveillance of their surroundings. They ordinarily would not be treating the home environment of Konoha as enemy territory, but at this point there were few they trusted.

For all that had happened to them, they may very well be safer in ordinary enemy territory. A kunai to the back wasn't nearly as painful as a shard of trust thrust through someone's heart. Inner Sakura was nestled in the back of her mind, quietly watching; ready to come to the forefront with all the speed of thought.

And when he entered their midst, they knew it – and they knew him as a friend for it, because his skill, experience, and eye allowed him to be just beyond their own level and talent. In that, the pupil would never move beyond the teacher, but Sakura wouldn't have it any other way, because it's always best to look up to someone, rather than contemplate the long fall from grace. Kakashi has his place and his duties, and she had her place and her duties, and each required different skills that the other lacked but neither would resent.

"Where are you off to?" Kakashi asked, his face blank but his eye bearing disapproval at her sneaking off.

Sakura winked and flashed him a jubilant smile and he blinked in owl-eyed astonishment. "I am off to save the day!" she declared with fake cheer. "It's high-time I got to my part as the hero." Because, if she was the catalyst responsible for the ruination of so many, she had to do something. To save so many would acquire heroism that would, perhaps, ease her guilt.

"Really? This is news to everyone else trying to play hero," Kakashi replied nonchalantly as he crammed his hands into his pockets.

She gave him another smile and made a scooping gesture with her hands. "You want to come along? You can reap the benefits of my glory – I'm sure there'll be enough for two of us."

"After all is said and done, I think we will want to distance ourselves as far away from these events as possible."

"We can always burden Naruto with the glory."

Kakashi snorted. "And whenever anyone wants to talk about it, he can lump it in with the village he somehow lost."

A whisper of a touch ruffled through Sakura's head, and she saw Kiba glide past her, stretching his arms upward and curving his spine backwards. "That's a glory he can do without," the vision said as Sakura glared at him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked darkly.

Kiba shrugged, then turned to face her with a cheeky grin. "I'm coming along to make sure the two of you aren't going to do anything Naruto does to warrant his reputation. It's all part of his glory: his strange ability to get himself _out_ of the very crisis he created from a horribly _simple_ little problem."

"We," muttered Inner Sakura, "aren't that bad."

One of Kiba's eyebrows haughtily rose upward as his expression twisted with scorn and his nose jerked up. "Then how do you not compare with Naruto under the current circumstances?"

The guilt drove sharp between her ribs, like a knife that had been stabbed at her heart. Tears pricked at Sakura's ears as she gathered her thoughts for a retort. "_You_ got me into this mess in the first place!" Not the best response she had ever thought up on the fly…

Kiba wagged a finger in her face. "Oh, posh! Not only do you lack a single idea as to where you're supposed to go from here, but I've also been doing my damnedest to keep you out of this mess! But you don't listen to me!"

"Which may be why the hole I'm in is much deeper than what I've dug personally!"

Kiba blinked as he tried to sort through Sakura's sentence. Sakura looked to Kakashi and smothered the smallest doubt of whether he, too, was just a figment of her imagination.

"Have you ever wondered," Inner Sakura muttered philosophically, "if our entire life isn't just the imagination of another person, far far away? That perhaps our lives truly don't exist and all of this is just a passing dream?"

_I won't have my life, Kiba's life, and the sacrifices of all my friends belittled in such manner!_ Sakura stormed at her other self. Inner Sakura, far from being cowed, merely dipped a little below her conscious, as if to concede the moment but not the idea.

"Excuse me?"

Kakashi sidestepped and turned to face the door, smoothly placing himself between Sakura and Kabuto as the enemy med-nin coughed politely and smiled from where he stood in the doorway. His hands were still stuffed in his pockets and he slouched slightly, casually…dangerously.

Sakura felt herself tense in response, her heart rhythm quickening and her breathing deepening. The tension drained away immediately as Akamaru squeezed through the doorway, brushed past Kabuto as if the man meant nothing to him, and plopped himself between Sakura and Kiba with a soulful whine.

"Poor boy," Kiba said affectionately as he bent and scratched Akamaru behind an ear. "You've been _so_ neglected lately."

"I would like a quick word with Sakura-san," Kabuto said with a deceptively friendly smile and a curious tilt of his head, "if you would be so kind as to spare a moment before you rush off to make a _hero_ of yourself." With the mocking emphasis on hero, Kabuto made a sweeping gesture with his left hand to the hall beyond the doorway he stood.

Sakura set her jaw. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm answering a favor – consider me a neutral party here, giving honest medical advice and knowledge."

Kiba snorted. "I believe _that_ like I believe Lee is the tooth fairy!" There was a moment of silence as Sakura glanced at him with an arching eyebrow. "Disregarding last year's costume party fiasco, of course," Kiba amended quickly.

Kabuto shrugged and headed back to the backdoor through which he had exited the building. "You may come with me and learn this now, or wait until I've passed it on to Tsunade-san so you can hear it from her. I would suggest the former, as I am not your emotionally invested mentor. Oh, and it might give you a lead for your cockamamie heroics."

Sakura lightly placed her hand upon Kakashi's sleeve and nodded wordlessly.

"I'll come along," Kakashi said. "For chaperoning."

Kabuto paused pointedly at the entrance, and then turned. His face was studiously blank but a smug note crept into his voice as he asked, "Are _you_ chaperoning _me_, or should _I_ be chaperoning _you_?"

oOoOoOo

Kabuto led them back to Tsunade's living quarters, the few shinobi standing guard glaring coldly at him and glancing worriedly at Kakashi, as if silently questioning him about their orders from Tsunade to stand down and tell no one. Kakashi shook his head once, fiercely, and stayed between Sakura and Kabuto. Sakura nibbled the inside of her lip and tried to focus on the fact that if Sasuke had been thoughtful enough to come and see what he could do to help (regardless of the fact that he was corrupt and a snake and oh, gods, what was wrong with his arms? Why hadn't Kabuto taken care of them? How was she ever going to trust the opinion of someone who let Sasuke's limbs rot away in such a manner?) then it would make sense that he would bring Kabuto along, since Kabuto clearly knew as much, if not more, of medicinal practice than Sakura. After all, most of her knowledge was solidly in the legal side, and most of this could easily be considered unethical at its very best. At the very worst… well, there were those people in the cages, but her memory skittered sideways at that as nausea curdled her stomach.

In one of Tsunade's rooms were a simple table and colorful cushions. A few wall scrolls depicting poems of seasons and love were the only decorations. Seated at the table, lounging on half of the cushions piled together in a nest, were Tsume and Kuromaru. Akamaru jogged past Kabuto and flopped down beside Tsume, pressing his body close to hers. She yawned and dropped her hand on his head, fingers flexing. "Is this day ever going to end?" she asked no one in particular.

Sakura stopped up short as she noticed how much deeper seemed the lines on Tsume's face, and how her eyes seemed so dull. She glanced to the side where Kiba stood, his face sad as he regarded his mother. When he noticed Sakura, Kiba pressed his lips together and shrugged his shoulders.

"Life goes on, even if death likes to reach out and trip us up," he said. "Par of the course – nature of the game. But, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to sit beside you." He grinned, suddenly. "Groping one's mother in public is not very polite."

Her face suddenly heating, Sakura crossed her arms protectively across her chest and promptly seated herself between Kakashi and Tsume. Kiba snapped his fingers. "Ah, well, better luck next time," he said mournfully. Then he reached over and caressed a hand up Kabuto's arm. Kabuto shrugged his shoulders as a fleeting look of annoyance flashed across his face.

Sakura looked at the objects on the table to distract herself. There was a lined cooler – the sort used to store and transport samples, her pot of chicken noodle soup, and her prescription bottle of morphine. She frowned when she noticed the level within was lower than she knew it was supposed to be.

Kabuto reached over and snapped open the cooler. He carefully withdrew a filled tube – purple top, Sakura noted absently, the sort for blood samples. "This is yours," Kabuto said casually. "I took a sample and did a full blood panel and chemical analysis – with, of course, the permission of your Hokage," he added smoothly as Sakura tilted her head and read her name and identity number on the label. "Aside from being slightly anemic – you may wish to add more red meat into your diet – and having an elevated white blood count, you appear to be in otherwise good _physical_ health.

"However," here he replaced the purple-topped tube with a larger test tube in which a single strand of mossy-looking plant was submerged in a clear gel, "foreign chemicals in your bloodstream suggest a different story. Do you know what this is?"

Sakura accepted the tube and studied the plant for a moment. "I don't know," she said softly. "I don't recognize it as something I should know."

"I didn't expect that you would. It's actually a rare moss that doesn't grow in this part of the country," Kabuto explained as he accepted back the sample and turned the tube around in his hands, the long fingers caressing the smooth glass. "This is a sample Hana-san kindly borrowed for me from the biologists' specimen library. It grows in the Mist country swamps and is harvested by an order of monks who brew it _specifically_ for a dream-syrup used in various ceremonies. It's known to cause hallucinations."

Sakura's gaze snapped from the moss to Kabuto, whose face was cast in shadows. She couldn't see his eyes behind his glasses, but his lips twisted into a sardonic smile. "I found traces of it within this." He smoothly slid her bottle of morphine across the table and she caught it in her free hand.

"But-"

"This moss generally has a bitter flavor, but it becomes virtually tasteless to humans when mixed in with opioid derivatives. Which, incidentally, also drastically increases the potency of the moss."

Sakura stared at the morphine. "But-"

"We know that you received the morphine on prescription from a clinic doctor for your pain when you arrived for the post-mission checkup. Was the moss inserted into your morphine before you received it, or afterward, in your home, by someone else?"

"I – I don't know." Sakura scrubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, wondering at the past few days. Her memories were so crisscrossed with the past and shadows of the present that her heart steadfastly declared real even when her head said no, it was fake.

"It's a relatively small amount, all things considering," Kabuto said conversationally, "but appears to have built up in your blood through a series of dosages. Its effects worsened as the level increased, the hallucinations becoming worse and worse." He was silent for a moment. "This moss is commonly called the dreaming bane – and is the main ingredient for that particular gas in the caves that you mentioned in your report."

"Hold it!" Tsume slapped the flat of her hand against the table. "Would this imply that the people who laced Sakura's medicine are the same who used the gas in the cave?"

"Strange coincidence," Kakashi said politely.

"Perhaps," Kabuto replied. "Or perhaps not. All I can confirm as a connection of some sorts between the two incidents is that Sakura would have started to feel the effects of her laced morphine at the same time the effects from the gas in the cave would have worn off. Once it reached a toxic level – and it varies for each person – then seizures result, as they also would once withdrawal begins. By the way," he added swiftly, "I have already informed your Hokage of everything I'm telling you. She went directly to the hospital records room to speak with Hinata-san, who seems to have volunteered in retracing and confirming every one of your findings, Sakura-san.

"Now, _this_ is a peculiarity." Kabuto pulled a third test tube, also stopped but smaller than the others. At the very bottom was some granulated powder. The label on it read simply, _potassium __cyanide_. "I found it in your soup, but you must not have eaten any of it because you're still alive."

Sakura dropped her hands in her lap and clasped them together to minimize the shaking.

Kakashi's eye widened perceptibly.

"I don't think it's a common ingredient in soups like this, but between that and the seizures caused by the laced morphine…" Kabuto shrugged. "If they didn't find your body within at least six hours, every trace of the cyanide would be gone and everyone would recall what you had been undergoing these past few days and attest it to the caves. 'Such a very sick girl,' they all would say, 'such a tragedy.' 'The whole mission was cursed; it just seems so ironically _proper_ that she's gone now.' Rather strange, really, for such an obvious murder attempt on top of the laced morphine." He smiled humorlessly. "How many people in Konoha have you pissed off so badly that they want you dead in various painful ways?"

Sakura studied her shaking hands. "But the soup came from one of the councilors – Dr. Ishin."

Kabuto carefully began to replace the tubes back into the sample case. He was silent for a moment. "At least now you have a possible lead for your cockamamie heroics."

Sakura stood, and with her Kakashi, Tsume, and the two dog-nins. "We may as well all go together," Tsume said. "I don't like the way these things are happening in the village." She levered a stern look upon Kabuto. "_You_ can stay here," she said.

Sakura paused a moment at the room's entrance, and then turned and looked at Kabuto. "Why don't I hurt?" she asked him softly.

Kabuto smiled kindly. "I gave a little nudge here and there, to your liver to help metabolize the moss, and to your back, where the healing process had been hindered by the same moss."

She nodded her head. "Thank you."

The smile slipped away. "The young sir would have approved of my actions," he said in a neutral voice. And Sakura knew that Kabuto hadn't been kind or helpful because of his vows as a med-nin; that he hadn't acted out of a sense of altruism. Kabuto had merely done what he did because that was what Sasuke would have expected him to do – she wondered, briefly, about Sasuke and all those years he had been gone, but then she pushed it away and focused her mind instead on something more tangible: Dr. Ishin.

"Let's go," she told the others like a leader, even though she had never once been the leader of any mission. It had always been her place to support and provide backup. But not now; now she would need to stand on her own two feet, and accept the support others would supply her. Now, she had something else to do.

oOoOoOo

When they arrived at Dr. Ishin's flat, moving stealthily as if approaching an enemy, they learned that all their sneaking efforts were for naught.

Tsume pouted. "I'll go fetch Kabuto," she muttered, turning her heels and leaping into the night.

Sakura crouched down beside the still body and touched the cold, clenched fist where welts of blood had dried around the fingernails that pierced through skin. Without realizing it, she began to probe the body with her chakra to feel out the cause of death, but came up with a blank, dark _nothing_.

"It looks almost like a struggle," Kakashi murmured as he righted the fallen chair that lay beside the very dead Dr. Ishin. He looked around the kitchen for anything that seemed out of place. "What's this?" He studied the bowl on the table, bits of yellow-tinged rice clinging to its side, and the ornate teacup, overturned and shattered with its dark liquid pooled across the table.

"I don't understand." Sakura said as she straightened. Akamaru prodded her thigh with his wet nose and whined. "What is it?"

Akamaru padded over to the counter and stood up, planting his massive paws on the counter space and nudging a container with his nose. He looked at Sakura, and then pushed away from the counter to set all four paws upon the floor. Sakura could feel Kakashi's eyes upon her as she grabbed the container and twisted off its lid. She sniffed, and then set it and the lid down heavily upon the counter.

"Chicken base," she said in a dead voice.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed as he looked back at the rice in the bowl. "I see," he said softly. "Spread out."

He and Sakura parted ways, moving separately from room to room in search of anything else that may be suspicious, careful always not to touch or disturb anything. Akamaru trailed behind Sakura, huffing softly with his tail going tic-toc every now and again when she looked at him.

With an annoyed look, Korumaru settled down at the front door, ready to tear trespassers from limb to limb should they intrude where they did not belong. Neither Kakashi nor Sakura found anything else of interest or suspicion and returned the kitchen. Korumaru glanced at them, but remained unmoved from the square of kitchen tile he claimed. Kakashi and Sakura silently settled in two of the four kitchen chairs that surrounded the table, looking uncomfortable with each other and the dead body.

Kiba floated through the wall. "What have we here?" he asked in wonder, hovering over Dr. Ishin. He twisted and floated around her until he could finally see the face. "She looks familiar," he said, looking at Sakura for confirmation. She merely shrugged her shoulders and tried to ignore the puzzlement on Kakashi's face.

"I have a question," Inner Sakura began as Kiba poked fingers at the body. "If the drug has been helped along out of our system by Kabuto and we're no longer supposed to be hallucinating … then what is _he_ still doing here?"

Sakura was saved from having to answer that when Korumaru stood suddenly, hackles rising and teeth barred as he growled low at the door. It swung open and Tsume stepped through. She glanced momentarily at Korumaru, raised her hand with the palm out, and then side-stepped to let Kabuto pass. Korumaru stopped snarling and his hair settled as the sight of his mistress.

Without saying anything, Kabuto crouched beside Dr. Ishin and began to study the body, running his fingertips over the cold skin and sighting out its position, the ways the limbs were pulled tight against the body, the spine curved severely, and the tightness of the jaw.

"Shouldn't we report this to Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked. "Especially since this was probably a murder?"

Tsume leaned against the wall and sullenly watched Kabuto. "I'm scoping out the crime scene," she said. "When I have more information, I'll pass it onto the Hokage."

"What about fingerprints?"

"What have we here?" Kabuto asked suddenly, staring at the container of chicken broth. He looked sharply from the container to the bowl still on the table. He pointed at it. "Tsume-san, could you tell me what that smells like?"

Tsume looked at Korumaru, who huffed, padded over to the kitchen table, and took a sniff. With a shake of his head that made his ears flop, Korumaru whined. Tsume's lips quirked. "Chicken."

"I thought so." Kabuto stared some more at the container, and then sighed. "Back to the lab I go. She's been dead eight to ten hours – there will be no trace of poison in her system if it was cyanide. But this, however, may yield something interesting." He rooted around in the cupboards before turning up a crumpled paper sack. He used it to close the lid of the container with a deft twist of his wrist, and then scoop up the container of chicken broth all without touching it. As an afterthought, he scooped up the dish with the little bit of rice still within and tucked it also into the paper bag.

"Um, I touched that," Sakura said hurriedly.

"I doubt you killed her, seeing as how you, at the time, were still under the effects of the moss and therefore under the care of Tsunade-sama," Kabuto replied snidely.

"An excellent alibi!" Inner Sakura declared happily.

"Too excellent," Kiba put in, darkness clouding his face.

Kabuto rooted through a few cupboards before turning up another container, which he stored the rice in. "If this is exactly what I think it is, then she probably used the chicken base to make your soup just as she flavored the rice – so someone else had been out to kill her, but for what reason?" he pondered. "Was it accidental that Sakura-san could have been killed in the same way?"

Tsume sighed and rubbed her temples as if trying to fend off a headache. "What do I tell formal investigators when they arrive, regarding the removal of evidence and crime scene tampering?"

"Some things needed to be processed first," Kabuto replied loftily. "I'll get you a full and complete report, and then you can lock all the details away in the same folder as the village Naruto lost."

Tsume frowned. "How did you-"

"I'm a spy, my dear." Kabuto smiled sweetly at the Jounin as she bristled. "Knowing that which everyone else doesn't want known is what I do."

They watched him leave, and then Kiba kicked at the ground. "He irritates me," he muttered, hunching his shoulders. He was silent for a moment, and then glared at Sakura. "I'm torn between following him and then staying beside you to make sure you stay out of trouble."

Sakura sighed and looked at Kakashi. "So, now what do we do?"

Kakashi yawned and tucked his hands behind his head. "I suppose we have to wait for the arrival of the investigators and give our reports." He shrugged. "I wonder how Naruto is doing," he added softly.

Kiba brightened. "Ah hah! Now _that_ I can find out! Stay out of trouble, Sakura." He blew her a kiss before disappearing through the floor.

"As I was saying," Inner Sakura began, "what is it about Kiba?"

Sakura didn't know.

For that matter, she feared to know.


	16. Chapter 16

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: I did it for Demeter1.

NOTES: I can write a fight scene, really I can!

* * *

Tsunade remained silent when she soundlessly entered the cramped records room. Three nin-dogs lifted their massive heads and regarded her with that strange mixture of canine sense and human understanding, before settling their heads back between their paws. Inuzuka Hana, gathering up the remnants of lunch, barely nodded her head in acknowledgment.

Neji shut the door behind Tsunade and leaned on the handle as he kept his face deliberately still.

It took a few moments longer for Hinata to notice. The young woman rubbed her eyes as she turned from the heavy ledger that lay open before her, and then dropped her hands to gently rub the protruding swell of her stomach. Tsunade would have felt a flash of jealousy if she had seen a pregnant woman years ago, but not now. That was before she realized that being Hokage was essentially being the mother to an entire village.

It was a shame the village couldn't be more obedient, like rambunctious children eager to please, rather than sullen teenagers with far too much time and hormones on their hands.

"How's it going?" Tsunade asked, stepping to the side and allowing Hana and two dogs room to exit through the door.

Hinata looked startled, glanced at Neji and the one remaining dog for a moment, and then dropped her hands. "Slowly. I've been cross-referencing everything that Sakura listed," she began, turning back to the ledger and indicating the handwritten paper that Sakura had shown the council. "But it's not correlating. Some entries match her notes perfectly, and others do not – as if her notes are false."

"Do you think Sakura may have fabricated some of her notes?"

Hinata worried her lip for a moment as she turned and regarded the ledgers. Her forehead crinkled in thought. "I'm inclined to think _something_ was fabricated." She shuffled through some of the pages, glanced at her own notes for a moment, and then swiftly located what she was searching. "The ink is different."

Tsunade's brow wrinkled in confusion as she bent over to peer at what Hinata indicated. Hinata, uncomfortably close to the Hokage's substantial bosom, blushed a deep red. "You're right," Tsunade muttered. "The wording was written with a bolder pen."

"And also," Hinata hastened to add, tugging some of Sakura's reports from beneath another heavy stack of ledgers, "that's not the ink Sakura used – or the same writing, even if her writing changed drastically from whatever she's currently…undergoing."

Tsunade accepted the report from Hinata and compared the two side by side. "I see." She handed the papers back and wished she could take time out for a stiff drink. Maybe two. The records room was easily accessible for all med-nins so they could accurately record what was needed, taken, and used for their missions. This trust-based system was going to have to change starting immediately. She knew there was going to be many angry people, upset at losing their privileges because of _someone_.

She just hoped they wouldn't wholly blame Sakura. "I don't suppose I would be so lucky as to be told who could have done this." Hinata shook her head. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Well, just keep doing what you're doing and let me know if something comes up." She looked at Neji. "Is there anything I can get for you?"

Neji shook his head as Hinata buried herself in ledgers once more.

"Very well." Tsunade left them and continued on to the next place she intended, ignoring people's whispers about her apprentice even when they fell silent in her passing. She was accosted by a wolf-masked ANBU who whispered words of death in her ear. "_Shit_." She ignored people calling out to her as she strode with a much quicker pace from the hospital, and then broke into a full run for Dr. Ishin's.

oOoOoOo

Hana and her dogs were on a mission. As a veterinarian, she was familiar with pregnancy, especially considering her clan's breeding habits. But, as a _veterinarian_, her area of expertise lay outside the realm of pregnant human females (or pregnant human _males_ for that matter, since you never know what sort of weird-ass ninja experiment gone haywire is going to produce, both literally and figuratively-speaking).

"Pickled onions," she muttered darkly, staring at the vending machine in front of her and clearly affronted by its lack of unconventional foods. "Of all the things to have a craving for…" She considered kicking the vending machine with her foot, but that wasn't going to ease her frustrations – just add to them, in fact, by a few aching toes.

"The food stand two blocks down usually sells them along with hotdogs," a voice announced from behind.

"Thanks, Kiba," Hana said, turning on her heel and marching resolutely forth with her dogs at heel.

She froze in mid-step and turned. There was no one in the hallway, but she thought she heard a jaunty whistle and a strutting step somewhere in the distant_. Goddammit I need a vacation,_ she thought resentfully. She glared down at her dogs, who cocked their heads innocently and peered sideways at her. "You guys aren't helping," she told them firmly before setting off anyway to search for this food stand.

oOoOoOo

They bound through the forest's treetops. Gina clung to Naruto's back, his hands hooked beneath her thighs, and her eyes screwed shut with a grimace of pain plastered on her face. The three Genins (and one dog) scrambled to maintain the reckless pace Naruto was pushing. They sent a few flocks of birds jumping into the air and calling out in indignation for being disturbed so frightfully. The forest floor beneath them was a canopy of green underbrush and fallen leaves; it obscured any trails or roads that might have been hidden, but they moved too fast to take note of their surroundings.

When Naruto came to an abrupt halt on one large limb, his head cocked as if a sound had caught his attention, Jak and Ko careened past him before their feet caught up with their mind, and Mimi nearly crashed into Naruto.

"They're tailing us," Naruto said softly.

"Ino-sensei and Sasuke-senpai?" Jac asked.

Naruto shook his head, and then shrugged Gina off his back. She grunted and winced as he set her as gently as he could onto the tree branch. "The missing experiments." He braced Gina upright with one knee, then nipped his thumb and drew blood. Closing his eyes in concentration, he made the signs necessary for a summoning and then slapped his hand against the branch's surface in four consecutive spots. With a popping sound and a poof of chakra, four large toads were among them, each looking a little cross-eyed.

"Shaker, Baker, and Li and Noodles." Naruto frowned. "What's with all these weird names?"

Shaker grinned. "Trying something new. So, what's up, boss?"

Baker and Li began to hop up and down in excitement. "We get to kick ass?" they asked together. "Huh? Huh? Yeah! All right!"

Noodles sighed. "But I was taking a nap!" he whined. Baker and Li, who sat on either side of Noodles, lifted their front legs and smacked Noodles across the head. "Ooowww. What was _that_ for?"

"All right," Naruto declared loudly before the situation deteriorated further, "listen up you four! We've got some escapees from a mad scientist's lair coming after us and I have reason to believe that things are going to get quite ugly. I promised Ino to watch after her kids, which is where Shaker, Baker, and Li come in." The three aforementioned toads turned as one to look at the children, then turned back to face Naruto, their bodies slowly straightening to attention, expressions becoming more intent and serious. "One child - or dog - to each of you; you will not engage the enemy 'cause the only thing I want you to do is keep the kids safe and out of trouble. But they have to stay here, because we can't be separated, so you three need to dodge attacks. Got that?"

The toads nodded solemnly. "And you-" Naruto frowned unhappily at Noodles, who frowned back. "Dammit. They're getting closer." He shot a quick glance over his shoulder, and then crouched beside Gina as the children hustled forward, selecting toads and climbing onto their broad backs. "I'm going to create a clone who will hold onto you and ride Noodles at the same time. It's going to be rough."

Gina's eyes were wide as her gaze darted around her surroundings. In the distance, loud snaps could be heard as branched were broken free of trees. Naruto could sense the tiniest of tremors in her arms and legs and knew the tremors weren't originating solely from exhaustion and pain. "Well, it's not like I got much of a choice, do I?" Gina grumbled.

Naruto put his hands together. "I wish you did," he whispered as he summoned his chakra and performed the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. "I wish we all did." The bunshin shook himself for a moment, like a dog shaking water from its fur, and then whipped around Naruto. It wrapped its arms gently around Gina (in a distant part of his mind, Naruto could feel pressure where Gina made contact with flesh), carefully lifted her up, and then sat astride upon Noodles.

Noodles grumbled under his breath, bunched his legs beneath, and then sprang upward high in the air. As if that was a signal, the other three toads jumped up after him. Naruto glanced up, shielding his eyes as he did so, and dived out of the way when three monsters fell upon him.

He tumbled off the branch and they came crashing down, their weights too massive for smaller branches to hold. Naruto righted his fall and planted his feet firmly against a tree trunk. He used the momentum to propel himself across to another tree trunk, twisting and grabbing his kunai as he did so. He looked up at the descending monsters. Each were bloated and twisted, skin unnatural shades of green and violet, as if they were living bruises. Their limbs were askew, some longer than others, another triple-jointed, and one of the monsters had an extra arm jutting out of its chest.

"Ew," Naruto muttered. He leapt forward in the air just as a fourth monster exploded from the ground, with branches, leaves, and dirt clods flung everywhere. Without looking at them, Naruto hurled kunai at two of the monsters. One knocked the blade flying with a metallic ring from where the kunai glanced off its claws, but the other wasn't as lucky – it squealed in pain, like an enraged boar, as the kunai struck and sunk to the hilt just below the breastbone. It dropped to the ground, bloody froth foaming at its snout as it clawed blindly at the kunai's handle. Blood gushed free as the monster accidentally severed its abdominal aorta.

Naruto whipped around, startled when he heard Ko cry out and Mimi scream something incoherent in reply. Something heavy struck him from behind and sent him flying off-balance. He righted himself in mid-air swift enough to dodge a sharp-clawed blow that splintered a near-by sapling into wood shavings. A few blond hairs drifted free of his head.

_Ah hell – _that_ woulda stung_! Naruto spun about on his heel, blocking the next blows. His hands blurred into signs and three bunshins materialized and sprung into every direction with a single thought. One monster, ignoring the bunshins, pounced on Naruto. Leaping into the air, Naruto viciously kicked at the creature's head and narrowly missed getting his foot caught in a row of teeth. (_Wait – three rows of teeth? Holy hell!)_ Propelling his weight upward off the creature's head, he threw another kunai down and turned his attention upward without seeing if it struck.

Mimi was desperately clutching onto Ko, who was strewn across her lap and over Baker. Kasshoku's teeth were sunk into Ko's arm, legs splayed wide for purchase. Li was fending off a monster (_Wings? No way is that fair!)_ with a tree branch, lashing it back and forth like a whip at the monster's eyes. It shrieked in anger and flinched just beyond reach.

Naruto collided with the winged monster. He scrambled up and over, blocking its claws and teeth. He sunk a kunai into one of the great, leathery wings and tore it side to side. The monster screamed in pain and plummeted wildly, one wing flapping furiously as the other hung limp. Naruto gathered his legs and leapt free in the last moment, his landed softened by yet another monster. The winged monster struck the ground with a gurgled scream, twitched, and then lay unmoving.

Naruto caught a glimpse of two bunshins pinning another monster that thrashed and growled incoherently. He sensed an oncoming hostile attack, twisted, and jumped. The two monsters rushing at him from either side rammed into one another with a bone-splintering crunch and collapsed. Naruto felt one of his bunshins disintegrate. His attention went immediately to Gina and the children. Then he spun and sent leaves underfoot flying as he met claws with fists, his eyes sweeping up to meet a gaze that he expected to be crazed and angry.

He saw tears.

Jolting to a stand-still, they froze in their grappling as Naruto stared in slack-jawed surprise, which was followed by a stinging rush of guilt.

These weren't monsters – they were humans; civilians who had no choice in the matter. Victims of the worst sort. Some of them had been young children, others pregnant mothers-to-be, and all had been changed utterly, their lives irrevocably ruined and their minds crushed by someone's insane and cruel curiosity.

Heart suddenly aching and head in revelation, Naruto's grip slackened. The creature whimpered deep in its throat as its head tilted to the side. Naruto thought he saw another flash of tears.

But he didn't see a massive paw sideswipe him, razor-sharp claws renting across his torso and shoulder and effortlessly parting vest and flesh. He crashed headlong into a tree that snapped in half and was unable to fully stop his flight, blood splattering in an arch. Stars danced in his vision from the blow as he struggled to maintain his chakra, to keep the toads and bunshin from evaporating. He struck another tree, this one larger and older than the last and it only bent backwards beneath his propelled weight. Naruto pushed himself upright, nearly losing his grip against the bark as blood streamed down his arm. He forced the dizziness back and straightened to meet the creature as it barreled down upon him with a shrill roar.

It pitched over dead, its body crashing through the underbrush and coming to a halt just a step away from Naruto.

Naruto blinked in surprise at the kunai jutting from the back of the creature's skull. "What the _hell_?"

Sasuke landed on top of the body, knees flexed and arms splayed wide for balance. He looked down upon Naruto, somehow managed to look condescendingly humble in the process, and then stepped off the body to land beside Naruto. He didn't even blink at the blood "Idiot. Do you think you can look just a little more useless next time – maybe paint a target across your forehead?"

Naruto stared at Sasuke for a moment, and then surged forward to grab large fistfuls of Sasuke's vest. "Waddya do that for?" he demanded, fighting down the urge to shake Sasuke until his teeth rattled out of his head.

Sasuke's face was dangerously blank and his eyes flat. "You're invading my bubble," he warned with a barely audible voice.

"That was a human being, you bastard! A human being!"

Sasuke turned his head to pointedly stare at the creature for a long moment, and then back to Naruto. "And how is that _human being_ any more different than the shinobi you've had to kill on missions?"

Naruto's fists tightened a moment, his knuckles turning bone-white. He heard four toads land on the ground behind him, could feel worried eyes studying the scene in confusion. He shouldn't be fighting his comrades in front of the children – not so soon after a battle like this. He shoved Sasuke away. "There's a _big_ difference."

"How? The monster was trying to kill you as dead as any enemy shinobi. You cannot differentiate between the two."

"Sure, I can," Naruto said as he turned to the Genin, Gina, and Ino, who watched from a tree limb. "Sure, I can. Because those shinobi made the decision to kill me and deliberately approached me as a target, and these were civilians who didn't make that choice because they _couldn't_…" His voice faltered. "They didn't have much of a mind left," he said finally. "Just bloodlust. Just – just insanity. They weren't enemies – they were just victims." He wanted to sit down and mourn for the creatures, because he couldn't even drudge up the respect he offered for enemy shinobi. These creatures attacked like wild, senseless animals, with no purpose or reason; no honor. It was simply _wasteful_. "Well, _shit_."

He saw Ino take Gina from the bunshin. He dispelled his chakra, the toads returning to whence he summoned them. The Genins, perched on the toads, dropped in mid-air.

"Ow." Ko rubbed his arm where Kosshoku had gripped with her teeth. Naruto crouched down beside him.

"You all right?" he asked Ko, even as he glanced at the two other children. They nodded their heads in confirmation, lips pressed tightly together and faces pale. Jac looked nauseous and, after glancing at Ino with uncertainty, stumbled to near-by bushes to vomit.

"I think I might be bleeding where Kosshoku bit me," Ko said softly. His eyes fell upon Naruto's wounds. "But not badly."

Naruto patted Ko's arm. "Good."

Sasuke nudged Mimi forward, wordlessly gesturing to Naruto's wounds. Mimi tripped over a root as she hurried forward with her kit, expression fierce with concentration. She began to sterilize Naruto's wounds with hydrogen peroxide even as he tried to wave her away because his wounds healed too fact to usually require medical attention.

"You have no idea where those claws have been!" Mimi declared fiercely, shaking a finger in Naruto's face. Scratches like his were wounds she was familiar with, and she latched onto that security with gusto.

"Listen to the med-nin," Sasuke said blankly. Naruto glared at Sasuke for a moment, and then looked at Gina as he endured Mimi's rubbing the swiftly-healing scratches with a peroxide-soaked sterile bandage.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"They weren't the same who attacked me," Gina replied. "These guys weren't cohesive. They fought like a pack of animals that didn't have guidance."

Naruto looked at Sasuke. "What did you find out?"

"Confirmed our suspicions: this is a scientific experiment, although the significance of it is far more than I anticipated."

A chill raced up and down Naruto's spine as he regarded Sasuke, whose voice was stony and what little expression through the muscles around the eyes seemed to cast a foreboding, darkening presence. "I don't like the sound of that."

Ino's voice cut in. "Wars are a source of evil ingenuity."

Sasuke's eyes shifted sideways towards Ino. "Do wars beget these experiments, or do the experiments lead to wars?"

Ino grumbled. "Let's just keep the pseudophilosophy out of this."

Sasuke shrugged at Naruto's inquiring look. "We argued over what comes first: the weapons or the war, and I won."

"Did not."

Sasuke grunted, clearly too mature to be dragged into a squabble like Naruto so often was. "Getting back on track," Sasuke began, as Mimi finished with Naruto and moved over to Ko to check for possible damage, "we were discussing what I learned on our way back and we think we might be on to something."

Ino turned to Gina. "But the decision is up to you. If you don't want to do it, we won't. Don't let Naruto or Sasuke try to talk you into it otherwise."

Gina blinked. "I d-don't think I like where this is going." She sighed. "What is it?"

Ko squawked in protest as Mimi yanked his clothes up, and then blushed when she began to rub the bloody tooth marks with another peroxide-soaked sterile bandage.

Ino was silent for the long moment she solemnly regarded Gina. "We need to corner the squad that first attacked you – it's still out there, waiting. This attack seems just to be some wandering, uncontrolled group that was released or escaped from the caves. Otherwise there would have been handlers of some sort."

"If possible," Sasuke said, "we can get the field leaders in this trap and get a more thorough explanation on top of confirmation."

Gina directed her speech to Sasuke. "Let me guess – I need to be the bait." Her voice was surprisingly steady, but her hands were beginning to tremble again. She took in a deep, shaky breath and held it for a moment as her face went red.

Sasuke managed to dredge up the memory known as Sympathy and even plastered the expression of such across his face. "Someone moved very fast to clear out the caves, and it happened after Kiba's wire signal. Someone has been closely monitoring this area, and the odds are good that they still are." He waved a stiff hand at their surroundings. "This is as good a cover as any. You've been wounded again fighting off these creatures and need help, so you signal for it. The others monitoring this area will answer, find you, and then we ambush them."

Gina clasped her hands together, brow knitting and lips pursing. "I – I think I still have my wire on me. Didn't turn it on because I didn't want th-the others tracking the signal." She fumbled a moment with her pockets before removing a little black box with buttons and a touch pad. She glared at the wire, squared her shoulders, and pushed away from Ino. She swayed unsteadily for a moment, and then snarled when Naruto stepped forward to steady her. Naruto stopped out of reach, his open hands awkwardly held in mid-air.

"It won't work if they think I'm not alone," Gina added. She hunched her shoulders and refused to look at them as Ino ushered the children away. Sasuke slinked off without a word, disappearing into the bushes but still remaining close. Naruto let his hands fall to his side, opened his mouth to speak, and then changed his mind. He watched as Gina carefully tottered to the tree that had stopped him, and stiffly slid down against the trunk, her legs folding awkwardly beneath her. She glowered at Naruto, clutching her wire as she impatiently powered it up.

Sighing, Naruto casually made a few hand signs. "Kiba would kill me if he ever heard I left you defenseless as bait," he said just before he transformed into a small toad the size of Mimi's fist. He thought he heard Gina mutter, _Damn right,_ except it was a male voice that wasn't Sasuke's. He paused for a moment to consider his surroundings, found nothing out of the ordinary, and dismissed the words as his imagination. With a ribbit, he hopped over to Gina's lap and wiggled under her flakjacket.

"What is it about you guys trying to get between me and my clothes?" Gina demanded snidely before viciously stabbing the emergency signal with her thumb. She opened her hand and listlessly watched as the black box slipped free and fell to the ground with a dull thump.

Naruto deemed it best to answer with a croak and hoped she'd take it as a compliment.

Gina poked him. "Shaddup and stop fidgeting – that tickles."

oOoOoOo

The ANBU, laded with forensic supplies, ushered Kakashi, Tsume and her dog, and Sakura out the front door and into the waiting presence of Tsunade. "Honestly," Tsunade said with a disapproving shake of her head, "can't _any_ of you stay out of trouble?" She even managed to glare at Tsume, as if expecting the other woman to have more control over everyone.

Given her track record with her own children, Tsume didn't see why _she_ ought to feel guilty. "Yeah, well," she jabbed her thumb over her shoulder, "Kabuto took some bits from the apartment to do his own thing with; said he'll get back to you on the findings."

Tsunade eyed the four, and crossed her arms before herself in irritation. "I don't know if I ought to let any of you out of my sight," she muttered. "Why did he run off with some bits?"

Tsume shrugged. "Well, even though nothing was actually said, I suspect it's because Issin was probably died from cyanide poisoning." Tsunade glanced sharply at Sakura, who looked as if she wished the ground would open up and swallow her out of sight. "Any reason why I need to stay here? I've got a few kennels to feed, and no one wants to see the ramifications of a pack of hungry nin-dogs searching for food and mistress."

Tsunade waved a hand. "Fine. Get out of here." She looked at Sakura and Kakashi. "I'd put the two of you to work if I knew there wasn't going to be more problems produced."

Kakashi just blinked in languid amusement. Sakura bit her lip and twisted the hem of her shirt between sweaty fingers as Akamaru whined and nudged her knee with a damp nose.

"Go get some food and rest," Tsunade finally said. "You both look like you're going to need it."

A fierce expression flashed across Sakura's face as she opened her mouth to say something. Heart pounding in wonder and pain, Tsunade chopped the air with her hand, cutting off any remark Sakura was about to make. "Later," she said softly.

Another strange expression crossed Sakura's face, but Kakashi looped a hand through her elbow and pulled her away. "How about turkey, tonight?" he asked Sakura. Tsunade watched them depart, bumping shoulder to shoulder, one silver head bowing towards pink hair. Akamaru trailed after, tail wagging slightly.

"I don't have any sweetmustard."

"No problem. I heard Tenten was cooking tonight…"

Tsunade and Tsume exchanged looks. "Think they'll stay out trouble long enough for me to feed my kennels?" Tsume asked wryly.

"Let's hope so," Tsunade replied. "Their track record seems to be getting worse."


	17. Chapter 17

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: I did it for Demeter1. And I enjoyed every minute of it. :D

NOTES: This chapter brought to you by that age-old debate of pirates vr. ninjas: battle ON!

* * *

"There is a missing puzzle piece, Sakura. A face. We _know_ there is – so go back."

_healing crushed bones beneath her fingers needing desperately rescue the dead_

"Go back further."

_Stones monsters attacking even when she knew they weren't real but the terror it was there and so was Gina who was dead and scattered and the cluttering ghosts_

"Not there yet."

_Kiba's last life whispering across his lips and beyond - beyond to another existence even her mind couldn't comprehend try as it might make up its own to cope_

"Before we left for the mission. When we were getting supplies."

_Gathering supplies hesitance over the abortion kit because captured women were commonly raped and became pregnant hysterical also contained after-morning pills if necessary_

"Stop! There, that face!"

_Watanabe Haya newly graduate smiling as they brushed against her_

"Now freeze that image."

_Watanabe Haya._

"There's something about this face."

_Watanabe Haya smiling._

_Watanabe Haya smiling nervously._

_Watanabe Haya flinching and angling her body away._

_Watanabe Haya… with all the signs of… guilt? For what?_

"Now we've got it, like a hound does a scent, we can find it again, Sakura. This wasn't the last time we saw her on this mission; only the first. There was another time. The time between healing Kakashi and searching for those papers, what did we see? Everything is such a blur after that, and we can barely recall anything after that when we were searching for the reason Kiba died. _Think_! What is it that's trapped in our mind?"

_Trapped?_

_I… I don't know. I remember… I remember being half-carried, half dragged across the countryside, ghosts whispering in my ear. There was hysteria, panic attacks, blows. Yes, we did come to blows, didn't we? There was pain, and we know that pain, that sudden wrench of heartstrings. _

_Yes. _

_I do remember _that_ very clearly…_

oOoOoOo

_Sakura stared wide-eyed at Kakashi, too stunned to make a sound._

_Kiba frowned. "Did you just slap Sakura?"_

_That was as good a place as any to start. "Did you just slap me?" Sakura demanded shrilly. _

_Kakashi winced and contrived to look slightly apologetic. "Yes. And I'll do it again if I have to. You need to pull yourself together; you're a kunoichi, Sakura. You can't give a report when you've screaming incoherently. For one thing, you won't have much a voice left when we arrive." _

"_We – we aren't there yet, are we? Can't be – it's too short." Sakura wrapped her good left arm around herself, too aware of the throbbing pain in her shattered clavicle, the relative uselessness of her right arm, hanging as dead a weight from her body as her stumpy leg. "It was dark when we left, it can't be dark again. I'm – I'm cold." Ice wrapped its way around her spine, a pick jabbing at the base of her hip and sending flaming chords of agony down the back of her leg. "Cold like death." Her eyes flickered to Kiba, who hastily held his hands up and shook his head._

"_Don't you start!" he said hurriedly. "I don't feel cold one bit – nope, not me!" _

"_Hurry hurry," Inner Sakura/Akamaru cried as he poked a wet nose against Sakura's knee. "We have to get back before the village is frozen, because we don't have any shovels to dig them out with!"_

"_They can use this," Sakura said helpfully, reaching around to her back to the pick that was digging, digging, but there was nothing there. She felt around her body, and clothes, but nothing. Nothing was there, except her broken body. Maybe the pick was invisible?_

_Kakashi, his face carefully passive, once more reached out to Sakura and looped his arm around her waist. "Are you ready?" he asked as he pulled her close. _

_Sakura felt warmth flowing from his voice, from his body where it was pressed against hers. It seemed to chase some of the ice away, although she wished there really was ice cased around her arm where it hurt, because then it wouldn't hurt and maybe she could think of something other than pain, other than agony and how it hurt when Kiba died even though Kiba was here and he wasn't supposed to be here. _

"_The sooner we get back," Kiba said sagely, "the sooner you can get examined. I don't like this." He glanced worriedly over his shoulder. "And I really wish I knew what happened to Gina and Ochi." _

_Sakura bit the inside of her lip before she could tell Kiba that the stalagmites had gotten Gina – had torn her asunder like reality and would have torn Sakura, _should_ have torn Sakura instead, because then Tsunade or another competent medic could put Sakura back together the way she was supposed to be. Created anew, but not like the monsters in the caves, even though they weren't any more monstrous than she surely was on the inside. No, no._

"_Walk with me," Kakashi said softly. She clung to his arm, to his warmth, to his voice. She focused the shattered bits of her mind (once so great; oh, how the mighty have fallen, Sakura-chan! Such a distance, and no one to catch you so you've splattered all over the ground!) on his voice, let it shove the swirling chaos of fragmented thoughts to the side and pull a blanket of gray silence over. _

_She pushed off just as he did, feeling his repaired muscles tremble more from exhaustion than anything else as he guided her carefully through the forest, with dogs and ghosts nipping at her heels. _

_It wasn't until early the next dawning day that they arrived at the great closed gates of Konoha. Sakura craned her neck backwards and the gates swung wide, wooden boards like jagged teeth, the opening nothing more than the gaping maw to a great, carnivorous beast. _

_Sakura dug her heels in, tugging desperately at Kakashi as he began to lead them forward. "No! Not there! Don't th-throw me there!" _

"_I'm not throwing." Kakashi gritted his teeth and lunged forth against Sakura's weakened strength. "That requires too much energy." Her heels left furrows in the ground. _

"_Stop!" Sakura whipped her upper body around, nearly wrenching Kakashi's arm from his socket. She felt tender tissue give, her arm drag uselessly, a dead weight just as she had been at the caves, useless for nothing but dragon fodder. The beast before her laughed, its foul breath gusting through her hair and clothes. "I won't!" She flailed as Kakashi wrapped both arms around her torso and lifted her off the ground. _

"_We are going to see the medics," Kakashi said firmly. _

_To the dragon they went forth, who was furious over his lost people, enraged at the foolish person responsible for such needless deaths. Sakura could see the surrounding ninjas on guard, who watched in wary silence. They stood in silent testimony to the sacrifice of a young maiden, the only way in which to appease the great, whiskered dragon._

"_You can't!" she cried. She arched her back and tried to slide under Kakashi's arms, but he jammed a leg between her knees. "You can't send me - I'm not a virgin!" _

_Kakashi choked. _

_Kiba coughed. _

"_The dragon wouldn't want you even if you were," Akamaru put in cautiously. "You're sweaty and dirty and smell really awful."_

_Kiba frowned. "You would too if you haven't had a shower this whole long day. And I'm not talking about your tongue, either."_

"_Well," said Kakashi dryly, "there answers any questions **I** might have had regarding **that**." _

_Sakura lapsed into uncontrollable sobs. "Y-you can't!" she repeated over and over. _

_Kakashi sighed, paused a moment to hug Sakura close, and whispered in her hair. "What is the standard routine for ninjas returning from missions that rank B and higher?"_

"_Why are you doing this to me?" Sakura gasped when Kakashi's grip suddenly tightened as his stance went rigid. It went lax after a moment as he brushed her hair back from her eyes. "I'm so sorry! Sorry sorry-"_

"_Sakura." His voice hardened. "What is the standard routine for shinobi returning from missions ranked B or higher?_

_Fragmented thoughts and ideas whipped around in her head, hiccupping over and around the looming image of a dragon that fe-fi-fo-fummed, of how it was going to grind her bones to make its bread since she wasn't a virgin anymore. But beneath it, in the hard little core that was still Sakura, still in one piece despite the best efforts of dragons and ghosts and monsters both caged and roaming free, a resonance of hard-won knowledge and difficult lessons rang loud and free. _

"_Check-up," Sakura said finally. She lifted her head and resolutely stared into Kakashi's one eye. "Everyone is to check in at the hospital for a routine medical evaluation." _

_Kakashi smiled and sunlight dashed the darkness from her soul. "And now that we have arrived at Konoha, home to generations of our family, where are we supposed to go?" _

_A miasma of thoughts churned. **monument hospital no caves we've got to return body no tell Tsunade to the monument even the hospital **She took a deep breath and tried to dash the thoughts away, but they plagued her like a hyperactive Naruto pleading for another date. "We're supposed to go to the hospital." _

"_Good idea!" Akamaru declared happily. "After they clean you up you'll be presentable to the dragon!" _

_Kiba glared at Akamaru. "You're not helping matters any." _

"_Neither are you!"_

"_How do you know?"_

"_Because you're dead!" _

_Kiba shrugged. "Yeah? And?" _

"_And so that complicates a whole lot. Like the whole matter of you being dead." _

"_Didn't we already cover this?" _

_Sakura craned her neck to watch man and best friend argue as Kakashi began to pull her towards the hospital. _

"_And if you're dead, then why are you here?" _

"_Why can't I be here? This is my home, too!"_

"_But you're dead!" _

_Kiba threw his hands up in the air. "I give up. I would have more success seducing _Sasuke_ than I would talking sense into you. Hey, wait up!" He jogged to catch up with Sakura and Kakashi. But Akamaru, in a very dogged sense, continued his line of thought like it was a bone to worry._

"_And since you're dead, you're not supposed to be here." _

_But," Sakura cut in quickly, "dogs don't talk like you, either." She noticed that Kakashi glanced at her with worry on his face._

_Akamaru stopped upright as Kiba stuck his tongue out. "Yeah," Kiba declared. "So there!" _

_Akamaru sniffed. "Well, killing you off certainly didn't change a thing."_

"_Exactly what I've been saying all along!" _

_There was a playfulness with their banter, but it didn't quite seem to hide a lethal edge. It was like juggling knives in the air – razor-sharp, cut-your-throat-in-an-instance sharp – or like toying with death and destruction. Sakura didn't pay any attention to Kakashi pulling her towards the hospital, because she didn't want to turn her back on Kiba or Akamaru – didn't want a knife buried in her back when she was least expecting it._

_Not that Kiba would do such a thing… right? Right? But Kiba was dead, except he didn't change, but if he didn't change then how could he be dead? But death; death meant there never would be a change. Except he wasn't alive. _

_Sakura hugged herself closer to Kakashi and hoped that maybe he would protect her against her thoughts, against the dragon and ghosts and other visions oh my, and against the future. Kakashi wrapped an arm around her aching shoulders, and led the way in silence. _

oOoOoOo

"There's more."

_Our memories – what is real? What is fake?_

"All of it."

_All of what?_

"It's all as real as it is not."

_That… doesn't make sense. Aren't we supposed to be working on _that_?_

"Well, yes. But there's more. Much more than that."

_How can we find what we're looking for if we can't even differentiate between reality and illusion?_

"We're not going to differentiate, only remember. The hospital. What happened at the hospital?"

_I… I don't know. _

"Yes, we do. It's there. The face, remember?"

_Watanabe Haya._

"The face, yes. We met once again, she was involved. This is very important – so what do you remember?"

_I remember… I remember Kiba playing with fish._

"Besides that."

_No, the fish! Someone had decided that a tank of fish in the waiting room gave it an ambient air, eased the suffering and all that, and Kiba decided to play with the fish._

oOoOoOo

"_I think I'm hungry," Kiba said, up to his elbow in water as the fish wriggled beyond the reach of his fingers and dashed beneath their little clay huts and algae-covered plastic plants. "But, you know, it's hard to tell." _

_Akamaru huffed in response, having firmly seated himself at Sakura's feet and refused to budge. Sakura knotted her fingers together, all too aware of her vulnerability in the waiting room. Someone had already taken Kakashi back for a private exam, but they left her in the waiting room at the mercy of her swimming thoughts, like those fishes; drowning in doubt because her thoughts were like pirates that plotted and schemed to hijack reality and leave her floating in Davy Jones's locker. _

_Or would she sink? Sakura knew how to swim, but she wouldn't be able to swim with her arm like this, so she probably _would_ sink. And Davy Jones's locker was probably like the guys' locker at school, and then they'd put her to work mopping up seawater that got tracked in. But she _was_ a ninja, so maybe she would kick their asses for being slobs and then they'd stay clean to avoid being beaten up, and consequently she would have the cleanest of all lockers!_

_Except she got Kiba and Gina and so many others killed, so she failed at being a ninja. Maybe it was time for a new career. Pirates had ships, so she could sail away from the dragon – and they also had eye patches, because buccaneers were supposed to be one-eyed. She had both her eyes, but her arm was useless, so she could convert it into a hook. She could be a pirate, just like Kakashi. But did anyone else know that Kakashi was a pirate? She never heard of such a thing until now._

"_Is Kakashi a pirate?" Sakura asked Kiba suddenly. _

_He eyed her suspiciously. "What brought that on?" _

"_But Kakashi's a ninja. Maybe – maybe he's a ninja-pirate!" she declared triumphantly. _

_Kiba slowly backed away from the fish tank. "Right." _

_Sakura growled at the male medic who came over to fetch her, a clipboard in his hand. No, no. She didn't sound like a pirate; she should take lessons from Kakashi. She bet **he **knew how to growl – with the right incentives, of course. _

_The male medic took a hasty step back as Akamaru's head rose and he also growled. _

"_Ah!" The medic held his clipboard out to Sakura. "I'll be seeing you now," he said. Sakura eyed the clipboard. "Just follow me." He waited as Sakura struggled to her feet. She knew that was wrong – _she_ would have hurried forth to help when she was serving in the hospital; what on earth were these young upstarts being taught these days – when she got that quality survey, ooooh was Tsunade going to hear from her! _

_Kiba finally caught a hand beneath her left armpit and hauled her to her feet. She swayed unsteadily for a moment, her vision going white around the very edges as blood rushed through her head. _

"_I'm fine," she said to Kiba, but the medic nodded his head and turned his back to her. _

"_Follow me," he said as he led them to a private room. _

_Sakura limped to keep up, leaning against the wall for support when she nearly slid through Kiba, a sharp lancing pain shooting through her leg. She would also need a wooden leg, but would have to avoid termites. Poor Shino; she'd miss him and Hinata, but they'd understand. She carefully kept her eyes trained on the floor just before the medic's feet, ignoring the myriad of voices that swirled around her, the doubts and the images that didn't belong. _Concentrate on pirates_, she told herself. "Shiver me timbers," she muttered, and then giggled. _

_The medic led her into a white room that suddenly enclosed around her. Screaming, Sakura stumbled backwards and fell to the floor. Pain exploded through her body, all her old injuries screaming for attention at once. Then the walls stopped moving. The medic was immediately at her side, looking exasperated with her. "There's nothing wrong," he said testily. _

_Kiba nudged the medic, but his hand slid right through. "Your bedside manner really, really sucks. And not in the good way, either." _

_The medic grabbed Sakura's good arm and hauled her to her feet before leading her to the examining bench. He left her there and turned to fiddle with the blood pressure cuff hanging on the wall. Sakura leaned against the examining table and tried to lift her leg up to sit on it. Kiba's arms ghosted from behind and gently lifted her. "Stop it," she hissed between gritted teeth. The medic turned to answer, his eyes narrowed quickly when he saw Akamaru sit at Sakura's feet, tail wagging eagerly._

"_Animals are not permitted in the hospital."_

"_Animals? Where?" Akamaru suddenly stood to attention. "Where?" He caught sight of the wagging tail. "Oh."_

"_That," yelled Kiba, "is bullshit!" _

"_That," said Sakura firmly, fighting down the urge to elbow Kiba in the side, "is **nonsense**."_

_Kiba jammed his hands into his bloodstained pockets. "I said it better." _

_The urge to elbow Kiba was quickly being replaced by the urge to throttle him. Nerves worn thin by the constant pain, worry, and all the assailing guilt, Sakura felt her patience leeching away. "I'll have you keelhauled," she warned Kiba._

_The medic cleared his throat. "I'm just doing my job," he said with just a hint of impatience. _

"_Yo ho ho and a barrel of rum," Kiba muttered darkly. _

"_Bottle. A **bottle **of rum."_

"_No way. You're going to need a whole **barrel **to get through this mess." _

_Sakura turned her attention from Kiba. "Akamaru is a certified nin-dog of the Inuzuka clan and thus have the rights and respect due as a fellow shinobi." Her mind latched upon this familiarity. It was something she had to lecture on with many of the newer medics when they first began training in the hospital. It was rarely an issue, but every now and again a non-shinobi medic, thinking they could gain some sort of recognition, would make a fuss about the chain of infection and the dogs being a risk. "And that means they can legally accompany anyone they so wish to." _

"_I dare you to remove Akamaru from the premises," Kiba muttered darkly. "I **dare **you." _

_The medic made a face, but remained silent._

_Kiba hummed under his breath. "Now I've got these pirates stuck in my head." He grinned at Sakura. "No thanks to you. Oh well. Fifteen men on a dead man's chest." _

_Sakura blinked. "That must have been one **hell** of an orgy." _

_The medic dropped his supplies in shock._

oOoOoOo

"And the exam came and went, you got X-rays for your back and clavicle, and then what?"

_And then we wrote up our report for Tsunade and –_

"No. There was something more."

_But –_

"The face, Sakura! The face!"

_But there were so many faces. Which ones were real, which ones were fake?_

"Watanabe. We saw her face. It was after the exam and the X-rays, when we had the prescription for the morphine, and we were limping for the pharmacy."

_We were… Yes, the walls had closed in on us, and we were hiding in the closet to escape the enemy pirate shadows…_

oOoOoOo

"_I'd say something, but I'd feel like it was just a cheap exploitation."_

_Sakura didn't look at Kiba from where she had pressed herself into the closet corner, ignoring the drape of cloth around her and the hum of the linens warmer overhead. _

"_Look, you gotta come out of here, Sakura." _

_She shook her head. Her entire body shook, but she gritted her chattering teeth and clung to Kiba's voice, to his presence, the best she could. Her thoughts bounced recklessly from one subject to another, an endless play of fragmented memories. Kiba sat across from her, his hand stroking one twitching foot. "It'll pass," he said with a little more cheer than anyone should be allowed to have. "This is what happened to me after the gas. It'll get worse before it gets better, but this is a good sign because it means it's coming out of your system."_

_When the shaking had finally subsisted, Sakura was overwhelmed with exhaustion. She fought to stay awake. There was something she was supposed to do, but it slipped between her fingers before she could grasp hold. "What- what am I?" She wanted to curl up and sleep until the end of time, except they would never find her body. One day, while renovating the hospital, they would open up the door and find the bones (and pink hair) of one once called Haruna Sakura._

_Or they may just find her when her body began to stink. _

"_I've got to, to…" She reached a heavy arm upward and felt around for the door handle. She peered at Kiba's form, light and aglow in the dark. "Monument," she said suddenly._

"_What?"_

"_Monument. I've gotta get your name to the monument. Tell Tsunade-sama. Tell her, tell her about the others."_

"_About time. Maybe Gina and Ochi are back, too." _

_The door swung open, illuminating her surroundings. It was like a shaft of light had undercut the current of confusion. Sakura blinked in surprise._

"_Oh!" declared a voice in surprise. "Oh, what on earth are you doing here?" _

_Arms reached in and tugged Sakura out. She gritted her teeth once more against the pain, against the dizziness that threatened to pull her into unconsciousness when she was forced to stand. She leaned back against the wall and squinted at whoever had rescued her from the closet. _

"_Watanabe." _

"_Oh." The med-nin blushed. "You remember me." She frowned unhappily. "You look **horrible**. Why were you in the closet?"_

_Sakura pushed away, the pain in her back clawing its way to her heel. "I have to see Tsunade-sama. Have to… Kiba, monument." She nearly fell over, but Watanabe caught and supported her. _

"_You should be resting. It must have been an awful mission," Watanabe said carefully._

_Sakura nodded. "I – I need to tell. The supplies I needed were gone!" She began to cry in horrified shame just as something strange flashed across Watanabe's face. Watanabe carefully edged to the side, eyes flickering away. _

"_Oh. Is – is there anything I can do to help you? Maybe I can deliver your report for you." _

_Sakura dabbed at her eyes. Were her supplies the only ones that had been tampered with? Doubts assailed her. Surely she wasn't the only one. She had to know – she had to find out, before someone was killed once more. If she could prevent another needless death, another disaster like Kiba, then all might not be in vain. There was still some good to be salvaged. "O-of course," she said. Already her mind was planning: report, search, prescription. Everything she needed to do was instantly categorized. A plan of attack was forming; this time, she was ready. She didn't know who her enemy was, but she knew what her next battle would be._

"_Help me," she said. "Help me to the records room." _

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Of course I'm sure!" _

"_But…" Watanabe bit her lip. "But you look like you ought to go home and get some rest."_

_Sakura stubbornly shook her head. "No. No, lives are at stake. Kiba died because of the tampering."_

_Watanabe's face went deadly white. Sakura could feel the girl stiffening. "What?"_

"_To the records room. Now."_

_Leaning heavily against Watanabe, Sakura made her slow and pain-stricken way to the records room. They eventually stopped at an overstuffed sofa. Sakura ignored the passing people, their greetings and questions. Many she had worked with, but none she wanted to talk to. She didn't trust them. They all had access, and therefore they were all guilty. Until she knew precisely what happened, there wasn't a single innocent left in Konoha. (Well, except Naruto and Kakashi, Hinata, and Tsunade of course. And maybe Kiba. Yeah; she'd trust Kiba because he wouldn't set his own death up like that. But everyone else was clearly guilty! Well, maybe not Ino-Pig. And Sasuke, because this wasn't the sort of thing that Sasuke did.)_

"_Here," Watanabe helped Sakura sit on the sofa._

"_This is not-"_

"_You look like you're in pain," Watanabe said patiently. "You've already been seen for your examination, right?"_

_Sakura nodded grudgingly. "I got a prescription." She removed the crumpled script from where she had crammed it into her brace. "Morphine, for pain." _

_Watanabe tugged it from Sakura's hand. "I'll get it filled for you," she said. "You look ready to pass out. Take a moment to rest. Maybe we can get further when the pain isn't so bad. Here." She dug a notebook and pen from her pocket, pausing a moment to rip some pages free and jam them back into the pocket. "Write your report for the Hokage. When you're done, I'll help you to the records room, and then I'll take your report directly to her."_

_Sakura glanced sideways at Kiba. He shrugged. "It's as good as anything. You can't do everything at once." _

"_Okay." She accepted the notepad and pen from Watanabe, bowed her head over it, and began to write. Somehow, all the experience in writing reports and making medical notes came to the forefront, allowing her to keep her thoughts precise and short. She left out any mention of Sasuke, but did not hesitate to tell Tsunade of the experiments, the ghosts, the stalagmites. Her handwriting was dashed and sloppy, and large blots of ink marred the pristine paper. Her memories were gradually becoming fuzzy; she felt unsure of what she remembered, but she persisted._

_She was aware of other people stopping and asking her questions; she ignored them. _

_Akamaru finally found her from wherever he had run off to, and settled at her feet; she ignored him, too._

_Time passed; she had no way of knowing how much. For all the details that she wrote, the report still felt painfully short, horribly inadequate. _

_When Watanabe finally returned, the muscles in Sakura's shoulders and neck were sore from bending over the notepad, and her hand was cramping. She gratefully accepted the bottle of morphine from Watanabe and took her first dose. Relief didn't follow immediately, but she didn't expect it to. Watanabe had thoughtfully brought a glass of water, which Sakura also gratefully accepted. "Thank you," she said when she had gulped down every blessedly beautiful drop of moisture. _

_Watanabe smiled. "You're welcome. Are you ready?" _

"_Yes." Sakura handed the notebook, with its report, to Watanabe. She felt a small flash of guilt for not delivering it personally, but quickly squashed it with her reasoning: _she had to know what was wrong with the supplies_. On some level, it was a selfish desire. If she knew that she wasn't the only one whose supplies had been tampered, then she wouldn't feel as guilty for killing Kiba. She didn't want to admit that it was solely her own stupid mistakes that she damn well knew better than to make. _

_Watanabe helped Sakura to the record room. There, burdened down with more paper and ink, Sakura spread the ledgers through the room and began to make notes. Watanabe parted ways with her, promising to check on Sakura as soon as she delivered the report. _

_Untold time later – hours, no doubt – ANBU arrived to speak to Sakura. Her world hazy with exhaustion, blunted pain, and the floating sensation of morphine, Sakura refused to budge from the records room. She answered their questions, though she had no memory of what exactly she said. _

_Hinata also entered the room and spoke at great length with Sakura. Hinata agreed to let Sakura do her search, but made the decision to have Sakura present her findings to Konoha's medical council so that immediate action could be implemented. After Hinata had departed, Sakura left and barred the records room so no one else could enter, but that didn't stop Kiba from flitting in and out whenever he felt like it. She searched the medical supplies, comparing and cataloging the differences in what she found, and then retreated back to the records room. The growing level of discrepancies did nothing to soothe Sakura._

_It only made her feel worse. _

_She felt driven, maddened in more ways than one. The insanity that pushed at her mind, gradually worsening from that time in the closet when her thoughts had been clear despite the exhaustion, was the only thing that kept her awake. It fueled her body as nothing, not even adrenaline, could. She found herself pushed beyond her normal boundaries. Every time Sakura thought she had reached her limit, she astounded herself once more. _

_She felt superhuman._

_She felt drained, soulless._

_She felt exhausted._

"_I'm so sorry," she told everyone, seen and unseen, as the shadows weighed down upon her._

oOoOoOo

"Watanabe gave us the morphine."

_Anyone could have laced it at the pharmacy._

"But there is still something odd about her, something we need to look into further."

_We should… talk on Watanabe. _

"Yes…_Talking_ is a very good idea."

_Now?_

"Now would be the best time to catch her off-guard."

oOoOoOo

Sakura slowly worked her way out of the meditative state she had pushed herself into when she and Kakashi lay down in bed to sleep. She opened her eyes and stared up at the darkened ceiling, refusing to let her mind form any thought. After a moment, she swung her feet over the edge and reached for her slippers. She felt the bed stir as Kakashi sat upright. One callused hand caressed her arm in question. She smiled and covered it with one of her own. "I'm just going to the bathroom."

He probably nodded, but Sakura didn't see. She slipped her feet into the fuzzy bunny slippers that Ino had given her as some sort of gag gift years ago, and padded out of the bedroom. In the bathroom, she dug out the clothes she wore a few days ago from the hamper, wrinkled her nose at their sweaty stench as she pulled them on, and then squeezed her way free through the tiny bathroom window. She landed on the ground outside, narrowly missing the scraggly rosebushes that grew despite her lousy gardening abilities. She paused a moment to crane her neck upward and look at her darkened bedroom window on the other side of the building.

It was like someone had struck her in the gut. Sakura fell to her knees, her arms wrapped desperately about her shoulders as her vision swam. She had deliberately lied and misled Kakashi. She was going forth to do her own thing even though he had the right to stand at her side, since he had been the only living soul to do so throughout this entire misadventure, and she spurned that.

It wasn't bridges she was burning, but trust. Something had grown between them, something deep and solid that she didn't really share with anyone else, but it was tender. She didn't think it would survive this.

All the while that he had given her his trust, had guided and protected her, had prevented Sakura from strangling herself on that single thread, and now she was repaying that by turning her back on him, sneaking away like a common criminal.

Sakura pushed herself upright and deliberately turned her back to the window, an ache tugging from deep within.

She _had_ to do this. Some things she _had_ to face without the support of others; for her to regain her strength, she could only rely on herself. Surely Kakashi would understand that. She hadn't been able to do anything on her own; everyone had insisted on being involved, but in the end she had to throw away the crutch and walk on her own two feet.

Because if she couldn't do this on her own, then she surely was broken.

Sakura quietly slipped away. She evaded the sleepy ANBU that Tsunade had placed to guard her home (mental note to Tsunade-sama: never station someone who will be knocking around ten at night to ask for some hot chocolate to keep the cold night at bay), and trekked across the city to where she knew Watanabe Haya lived.


	18. Chapter 18

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: I did it for Demeter1. We're swiftly coming to the end here, people!

NOTES: Okay, so I can't really write battle scenes. I kinda fudged about with this, and then took the coward's way out. D: I also seriously love the idea that the Uchiha clan had nin-cats, and took full advantage of this. I also really love the scene between Tsunade and Sai. Ah, hell - I think this is one of my favorite chapters to write.

* * *

They left the bodies to lie where they had fallen.

"At least the other monsters will get _fed_," Gina had muttered. If it had been any of the children, Ino would have slapped them so hard her hands would have stung. If it had been Sasuke, Naruto would have elbowed him in the side and consequences for intruding into Sasuke's invisible bubble so many times in one day be damned. Naruto, of course, wouldn't have said it.

But since it was Gina, who narrowly missed being turned into one of the monsters and subsequently escaped a most gruesome fate, the others deemed it safest to just let her speak.

After all, everyone had their own different ways of dealing with stress, and Gina had far more than just stress to deal with. Each bounding leap that Naruto took vibrated through her sore body; each landing thump made her wince and grit her teeth.

The adults kept their pace slow for the sake of the children, whose stamina was beginning to drastically flag. Finally, when the sun had set and darkness was beginning to settle, Naruto stopped beside the trunk of a tree that had been split open by a long-ago lightening strike. He was gentle with extracting Gina off his back onto the ground, but she still couldn't stifle her groan of pain.

Naruto rubbed his face. "We have to move faster."

Gina waved her hand in irritation. "Then go. Since all our problems just happen to be located in front of us, I'll be safe here. Did just fine when all those bastards were looking for me _before_ you lot arrived, and now they're all gone."

"We'll stay with you," Ko volunteered. The other Genin, their faces set in determination, nodded in agreement.

"We'll return," Naruto promised them.

"You had better," Gina warned with a shake of a fist. "Because if _I_ have to come after you, there will be hell to pay and I'm going to extract it from _your_ hide."

Without further words, the others left, scurrying to catch up with an army of transformed enemies. The darkened enfolded around the Genin and their wounded charge, and only the sounds of nocturnal life disturbed the fearful silence left behind.

oOoOoOo

Sakura carefully flattened herself against the roof, wary about making an outline against the skyline. The apartment building beneath was silent, its occupants snugly tucked away for the night. There was a stray dog roaming through the trash bins in the small alley off to her left, and it startled Sakura when she first saw it – she thought Akamaru had followed her, before remembering that Tsume had arrived after supper to take Akamaru for a post-mission check-up, something she had been meaning to do but had sadly neglected due to unexpected obligations.

She felt strangely naked without the large dog hanging around, always ready to leap to her side and into action at a moment's notice. She felt even _worse_ without _Kakashi_ at her side, ready to lend support and aid.

_I really shouldn't do this alone._ Once she had been out of sight from her home, her hands had begun to shake. Thinking it was about to be another seizure, Sakura had swiftly wadded up and stuffed the tailing end of her shirt in her mouth to prevent biting her tongue. When she realized that her anxiety and nervousness had made her blood sugar drop, Sakura felt disgusted with herself. She was too experienced, too battle-hardened for something as silly as this to happen! One little botched mission and she had lost a few years' worth of seasoning. (Except it wasn't one little mission, it was simply too important for that, but she hadn't been that severely injured and she expected her health to persist more than it had against the effects of being poisoned.)

_I **need** to do this._ A quick stop at an all-night sushi bar had provided her with enough nutrition to raise her blood sugar, and she was on her way. Sakura had even refrained from taking a bracing sip of sake!

_I **can** do this._

She crept along the roof's edge, gradually working her way over to where she knew Watanabe's apartment was. She focused on the point of arrival – where tile had worked itself loose and fallen away – while Inner Sakura kept carefully aware and focused on their surroundings. Sakura was dimly aware of how cold the stone tile felt beneath her body, how the skin on her belly ached where it scraped against the roof's surface. It was taking a considerable effort to think and move like a kunoichi _who_ could fully depend upon the information of her surroundings and senses, when reality still felt raw and uncertain.

_I **will** do this._

Sakura paused when she reached the edge of the roof. She was sure no one was out and about, paying attention to her. She silently slithered forward, grasping at the edge. Spreading her legs wide and bracing her toes, she bent her upper body over the edge and peered downward at the window below. It was dark and slightly ajar, practical green curtains fluttering from the slight breeze that wafted through the night. The apartment would be unoccupied right now, because Watanabe had the late shift, and _no one_ ever got off those in time.

Rubbing her fingertips together and grimly enjoying the controlled flare of chakra that made the palms of her hands itch, Sakura slithered down. _Maybe slither isn't exactly the right word… Nah, Sasuke isn't all **that** bad. _She balanced upside down, one hand gripping the window sill as the other eased the window up the rest of the way. She shook loose hair away from her face and scanned the dark room before releasing her toe hold. Her upper body fell – she twisted around, snatched tightly at the windowsill, and bounced off the side of the building.

Her shoulder and clavicle ached from the strain of holding up against gravity.

After this night was over, she would rest then. Take a small vacation, hole up in some place where it was nice and light and cool, and try to find something akin to reconciliation with the damages she had incurred from this mission. Until then…

_I **must** do this._

Sakura gritted her teeth, clamped her feet against the side of the building, and hauled herself through.

oOoOoOo

Kakashi was torn between outrage and amusement, and decided to settle on being exasperated. It seemed much safer, because the only other option was to summon Pakkun to track the woman down so he could shake her until her teeth fell out of her head. Then he'd pack her up, carry her back to bed, and tie her into place. It seemed to be the only way he could assure himself of Sakura staying out of trouble. (And it wouldn't even be _kinky_. Nope… Uh, maybe…)

She had gone and snuck out of the window, like some sort of lecherous male teenager trying to escape being caught by the father.

He eyed the small opening in such a manner that suggested it was the window's fault having lured Sakura away. She had admirable hips, Sakura did, all curving and generous, and it boggled Kakashi's mind how she managed to wiggle them (enticingly, yes? Back and forth, just like so, and… no, no, don't go there, best turn his mind back to the current matter…) through the window. He could see her bust fitting, no problem – but those hips? He reached his hands up to measure the width and length, then drew them up close to his face. He was fairly sure her hips were a little wider than that. What he needed was a _practical_ comparison.

"Why did she-" No, he wasn't going to ask that question. Wasn't going to wonder if she was still so paranoid that she couldn't trust him enough to explain what was going on within her mind. Wasn't going to think of the alternative, of Sakura being institutionalized like two of the Chuunin with Kiba who survived the last known use of that damn hallucinogenic gas.

She had been doing so well, too.

It was safer to dwell on her hips, but not _that_ sort of dwell. Yup, and Kakashi was totally not a heterosexual male. Right.

With a regretful shake of his head, Kakashi returned to her bedroom, yanked on his pants and flakjacket, adjusted his mask, and retreated outdoors. He even managed to avoid the ninja who was supposed to watch the place but failed miserably, but at least the guy returned the mug he borrowed along with the hot chocolate.

Kakashi studied the bathroom window from below, making note of threads caught by the branches of the rather ugly rosebush that persisted against all odds_. Why roses?_ he wondered absently, when begonias seemed to be more of Sakura's sort.

After a moment of careful consideration, he summoned Pakkun. The watching ninja didn't even notice the stir of chakra. Kakashi silently walked around the corner of the house to the tree he knew the ninja was in, and heard a distinct snore. Oh boy. (Mental note to Tsunade: immediately send that one back to school, but refrain from informing Iruka who made the decision.)

Pakkun, who had followed Kakashi without saying a word, lifted a paw to hide his yawn as Kakashi glared upward into the leaves. "Wazzup, boss?"

"Sakura's gone."

"Oh." Pakkun scratched his ear. "And Akamaru's back at the kennels with the rest of the pack, so he can't track her. Did you know that he refuses to sign a contract? He's of the firm opinion that he's going to stay with Sakura."

Kakashi folded his arms before himself and turned his mind to the matter at hand. "What's the word?"

"Just the usual. I think Tsume-sama is thinking of making Sakura some sort of honorary Inuzuka because Akamaru's decided to formally declare her his mistress. There's something wrong with the night and everyone's feeling pretty restless, so Akamaru's not getting any arguments from the rest of the pack. Want me to track Sakura?"

"Don't attract attention."

"She's gone and gotten into trouble? Man, the things that Akamaru and Kiba's been saying about that." As strange as that sounded to Kakashi, he opted to remain silent and let Pakkun do his job. Pakkun lowered his nose the ground. He gave Kakashi a sly, sidewise glance. "I see that _you've_ been busy."

Kakashi buried the uncharacteristic desire to kick the dog and did his best to look bored. Pakkun's tail wagged lethargically as he followed Sakura's scent off into the darkness. Kakashi followed along, his hands jammed in his pockets and his thoughts all awry with worries chasing haunting memories at the heels of cool calculations.

He really was going to have to tie up Sakura so she couldn't run off anymore. Probably to her bed frame, because at least then she'd be somewhere soft. It was also the only practical solution he could come up with, given how she would likely forever resent being drugged into a heavy sleep after what she experienced. But maybe if he just used the sharingan…

He… really, _really_ liked the idea of Sakura being tied. (_Down boy, down!)_

Sobering thoughts – _that_ was what he needed to focus on.

The only other person he had had to deal with directly as they recovered from the hallucinogenic gas had been Kiba, and while Kiba had also been wildly erratic with his moods, he had also been much more aggressive and violent. And the more a person recovered from the gas, the worse their mood swings became. Sakura, as much as she wanted to think she was doing better, was still recovering. She hadn't yet gone through the mood swings that were so common, and it still remained to be seen if she would _ever_ make it through.

In the end of a grand total of seven hours, treating Kiba had been surprisingly easy – Kakashi guiltlessly abandoned Kiba to the whims and wants of an entire kennel of whelping bitches _and_ his mother. (And, really, who _didn't_ noticed that the Inuzukas were normally aggressive, violent, and moody?)

Kakashi didn't know whom he ought to feel more sorry for – Kiba, for having to put up with Tsume while she raged at him for being stupid enough to breathe; or Tsume, for having to put up with Kiba while hallucinating. The great thing about the Inuzuka clan is they generally deserve one another. He wondered if he ought to be worried about Sakura, and Tsume's impending decisions as clan head regarding Akamaru. Dogs who normally lost their masters in combat were left in the kennels for breeding and signed into the pack summoning. But if Akamaru insisted on keeping Sakura, then Sakura would suddenly find herself an honorary Inuzuka with all the unexpected perks – and downsides – as clan member. While Sakura could do worse, he wasn't sure if it was really _better_.

Having always been close to the summoning ninja-dog pack, a privilege that his maternal Inuzuka grandmother had demanded for while she raised him after his father's suicide, Kakashi was quite familiar with the inner workings of the clan that easily managed to hide its secrets behind a loud, obnoxious, yet strangely sincere guise. It was why he learned to never turn his back on the loud ones, even though Naruto somehow managed to slide under that particular radar each and every time.

But his father's suicide had cast doubts upon how true the Inuzuka breeding ran through Kakashi's own veins and subsequently Kakashi had been quarantined _within_ his mother's clan. Forming attachments and being emotionally invested with any of the clan had been discouraged despite his grandmother's overbearing attitude otherwise, so he never bothered.

It had been hard to feel anything more than just regret when he finally realized what Sakura had been trying to tell him at the caves, that Kiba – the hope and the pride of the clan that was as much a stranger as it was a family for Kakashi – had died. Kakashi hadn't even felt shocked, because the Inuzuka women and their unclaimed sons were notoriously reckless, and women like his grandmother and Tsume were considered uncommonly _old_ (not that it should ever be mentioned to Tsume's face).

Kakashi never intended to be emotionally involved with his Team Seven, because Kakashi didn't want to ever open himself up to the vulnerability of being close to another human like Obito and the Yondaime. Yet he somehow found himself wanting and even welcoming that vulnerability with those three children. And then they become adults, and the vulnerability still existed, even though he had half-hoped they could sever ties.

Oh, it was easy to see why he had become attached to Naruto and Sasuke. The boys had been orphaned, just as he was, and he was reluctant to see them forced into adulthood as he had been, isolated and alone despite an abundance of family support. Sakura, being young and normal and even sheltered, had been much harder to get closer to, and so he hadn't tried. Then the years passed, Naruto was gone and Sasuke… will remain unmentioned, because Kakashi was still unsure of what was going on with Sasuke and had a fairly good idea that such information belonged with Naruto's missing village. Sakura became a skilled and accomplished young woman, the only one left of the team still living in Konoha, so he marveled from a distance and wondered if Rin might have become the same had she lived.

When Sakura's mother died, that was when Kakashi somehow found a similarity with Sakura that made itself into another emotional attachment, another vulnerability.

Sakura had always been the "normal" one of Team Seven. Smart and cute, a hard-working, well-meaning young woman. She didn't have any outstanding talents, overwhelming abilities or tragic childhood or strange personal history like the two boys when they had first started (although being trained by Tsunade definitely changed some of those). Sakura was simply Sakura. She did quite well on her own and hadn't required close adult supervision or constant refereeing. But when Sakura was bereft of her parents, lost of the only family in her life and suddenly had the same orphaned status as the two boys… It was different. It was a hardship she never had to endure before, one that _no one _should ever suffer.

And since both of her teammates were gone and unaccounted for, Kakashi took it upon himself to lend Sakura the shoulder she needed to lean on and cry, if needed, and the relationship had grown between them just as it had been him and the two boys, although it was certainly not alike in other aspects. For one, she was female, and nubile at that – dammit, stay _down,_ boy! – although it could be argued that Naruto could be female and nubile if given the inclination.

Pakkun, having drifted past the sushi stand that Sakura had visited, stopped upright, pinned his ears back, and growled very softly.

Kakashi blinked as Kabuto emerged from the shadows, his lips pressed tightly together in worry, then sighed in annoyance. "I don't want to hear it."

Kabuto pushed his glasses up the line of his nose. "Why does everyone think I come bearing only bad news?"

Kakashi didn't think that deserved the dignity of a response, so he jammed his hands in his pocket (felt the sharp blade of the kunai nestling not-so-innocently within reach) and slouched forward. Silence hung heavily in the air between them, waiting with bated breath as the tension grew.

Kabuto finally broke by shrugging. "Very well – I concede that I have such a reputation for good reason. But I only came here for a late-night snack. Dissecting molecules and calculating hydrogen bonds has left me hungry and bored."

Kakashi remained where he stood, reluctant to expose his back or blind side to the traitor-turned-spy-turned-something inexplicable. Kabuto's face suddenly relaxed into an easy smile, which Kakashi found all the more alarming. Pakkun's warning growl didn't even bother to change.

"Now," Kabuto began as he began to move slowly towards the sushi stand, "if you don't mind, I'd rather-" He froze in mid-step, all color washing from his face. Kakashi and Pakkun tensed and crouched forward, then gasped in surprise as an unexpected shocking wave of cold blasted them in the face. No wind stirred.

"Oh dear," Kabuto said faintly. "That's not good." In a move that astonished Kakashi, Kabuto turned his back towards them and stared across the distance. A dog, possibly a stray, began barking wildly, and a few short seconds later many others joined in, their clamor echoing through the twisting streets of Konoha. The crash of something breaking could barely be heard above the frantic barks and bays. Lights were beginning to flicker on throughout the village, human voices rising to match the canine racket.

Without even looking at Kakashi, Pakkun sprung forward. "The pack is breaking free!" he yelled. Kakashi was following after Pakkun before the words had even registered in his brain. He felt Kabuto's presence giving chase at his heels. He grabbed one of the kunai from his pocket and slackened his pace just enough for Kabuto to reach his side.

"Who will you fight?" Kakashi asked softly, angling the blade where it was hidden within his sleeve.

Kabuto laughed bitterly. "I'm on whatever side the young sir is on."

Which meant that Kakashi would have to endure the threat at his back as he threw himself headlong into the one he could now feel surging before him, a sense of maddened bloodlust growing alarmingly fast within its rapid projection of killing spirit.

"Pakkun! Find Sakura and have her join me!" He wanted to keep the nin-dog with him to watch Kabuto, but priorities were priorities.

Pakkun peeled off to the side without protest and was gone immediately.

oOoOoOo

Tsume flung herself from her bathroom window the moment the pack effortlessly burst through its kennels, madly flinging itself at whatever heretofore undetected enemy was making itself known.

"The first damn shower I get since Kiba dies and I've got the entire pack of nin-dogs going rabid on me," she grumbled, ignoring the gravel beneath her bare feet and especially the surprisingly-cold breeze. "What did I do to fucking deserve this?" she yelled at the dark sky.

There was a startled, strangled gasp from somewhere, followed by, "Mom?" But when she glanced quickly over her shoulder to where she _knew_ she heard something, there was no one there.

oOoOoOo

There was the quickened breathing, the bumping of body against furniture, and finally the rustle of goods being set down on a flat surface. Impatiently, Sakura reached up and turned on the lamp light beside her. As she leaned back against the chair she was seated in and crossed her arms before herself, Watanabe whipped around, wide-eyed as she clutched her knapsack close to her chest.

Sakura watched as the color completely drained from Watanabe's face and her knees collapsed beneath her. She kept her own face impassive, her body language dominating but not threatening, and the surgical scalpel in clear view. The metal had long warmed to her body heat, but she enjoyed the feel of its smooth handle in her fingers and let the pad of her thumb play against the razor edge without allowing it to slice her skin.

"We need to talk," Sakura began in a sotto voice. "It took some trial and error in my thoughts and reality, but this is where I need to be, and you're going to tell me what I want to know."

Watanabe seemed to collapse inward at that, as if someone had cut the strings of their marionette; Sakura watched as the limbs folded inward and the head drooped forward, no longer animated and nothing more than just a single puppet meant to entertain a shadowed audience. Her breathing, already shallow and rapid, seemed to hasten in panic.

"Why did you do it?" Sakura continued in her sotto voice. "For money? For fame within some sort of underground? For-"

"My brother." Watanabe's voice was so soft that Sakura had to strain to catch every word. "Held hostage." Her head was bowed over her breast, her knuckles becoming white with strain as she pressed the knapsack tighter to her body. "All throughout the country there's various medics they've got hostage so we can siphon off the supplies they need. All the different chemical compositions and derivatives needed, I guess because if they got so much in bulk without a special license that it would attract attention they don't need. They said they'd kill my brother if I didn't do it, and would do much worse than that if anyone found out." Watanabe lifted her head and Sakura saw eyes that were haunted and terrified. "But I think I know what that worse is."

Sakura winced as a memory bumped to the forefront – _bloated flesh with malformed joints, all covered by grotesquely disproportionate muscles, eyes devoid of intelligence and life,_ tabula larosa_ – _but it couldn't dislodge the memories that had driven her to this point, the knowledge of being insane and just how precariously close to destruction was her life, her reputation and honesty, everything she had fought tooth and nail to garner, nothing that could be measured by monetary values.

Most painful of all that, the thing that seemed to demand a price that could never be met in this lifetime or any following, was the feeling of Kiba wrapping himself around her, holding her tight as his life slipped further and further away with every poisoned breath.

"You wouldn't understand," Watanabe began.

"Oh wouldn't I?" Sakura asked darkly, the grip on the scalpel tightening until she could feel the blunt edges of its handle cutting into the palm of her hand. "Oh, _wouldn't_ I understand that one of my loved ones was being held hostage against me, on return of some service or good behavior on my part? We're shinobi and kunoichi, this is standard procedure for all of us!"

"But I'm not!" Watanabe cried. Her skin was becoming rapidly flushed, but Sakura dismissed that as part of their confrontation – emotions were running high for both. "I'm just an ordinary citizen, a lay medic! An intern stationed at the Konohan hospital for experience that I could apply for a job at the emergency department of another city! And my brother was just a newspaper delivery boy, and they grabbed him and told me that I had to get them the supplies, so I skimmed here and there and jury-rigged the paperwork."

Which would explain why she had been targeted, because someone like Sakura was a loose cannon, a threat that would render itself quite deadly when the right opportunity presented itself – hell, she didn't even need the right opportunity to be deadly.

Watanabe dropped her knapsack and plunged her hands into her hair. Her body was trembling as she bowed half-over. "I, I'm a medic. I didn't sign on to kill people – I'm supposed to save people, preserve life!" She whimpered. "Th-the Inuzukas have always been kind to me, I – I didn't want to kill anyone!"

Sakura sighed in exasperation as she watched Watanabe's panic peak into hyperventilation. The medic in her wanted to coax Watanabe into a calm state, to slow the breathing and reduce the panic, but the human side of Sakura wanted to see Watanabe suffer as she had.

"But hasn't she suffered enough?" Inner Sakura asked.

Irrationally, Sakura hated Watanabe. She hated that this had come to what it was. _If there's one thing that Konoha **doesn**_'_**t** lack, it's powerful ninjas with hero complexes like woe. She could have easily approached me, Tsunade-sama, any of the Inuzukas, Naruto, Sai, Ino, hell, even Neji, for help. We'd've dropped everything to help her._

"But who," Inner Sakura asked, "who was it who even made arrangements to make this a mission in the first place? Someone had to have requested it and given enough information to Tsunade-sama for her to assign it to Kiba's squad."

_But-_

"Sakura!" She winced at the lash of anger from Inner Sakura. "Calm yourself, because you're beginning to get carried away!"

Sakura sighed as she quietly placed the scalpel on the floor. She watched as Watanabe's hands slipped from her hair and dropped; she wrapped the arms tightly around her chest, still gasping for breath. There was something very wrong with this scene, something that she should be acting upon, but couldn't quite figure out. "Watanabe?" The other medic didn't even seem to acknowledge she heard. Sakura sighed. "Who dosed my morphine, and why? Answer me that last, and I've leave you be, forget everything you had to do with this."

Watanabe didn't answer; instead, she bowed her head and hunched her shoulders. The alarm that clamoring in Sakura's mind increased to a deafening pitch. Sakura silently lunged across the room without the scalpel, dropping to her knees and planting a hand against Watanabe's chest. Watanabe remained as she was, unmoving and vacant.

The heart's electricity was all wrong. Sakura could feel it just below her fingertips – it should have been a pulsating hum with every beat, but it felt stilted and erratic, and something quite dark was attacking the cells like needles puncturing holes in a canteen.

And if that wasn't enough to tell Sakura that something was wrong, every one of Watanabe's struggling exhales were tainted with the stench of almond. Now that she had a feel of it, the cyanide wasn't so much coursing through Watanabe's body as much as it was ruthlessly throwing itself at the body's natural protective barriers like a battering ram, molecules tumbling away out of reach before making another hurtling gesture. Too many cells had already been ruptured, and the heart would soon be overcome and fail.

"How did this-?" Sakura jammed two fingers into Watanabe's mouth as the other medic went completely rigid with a strangled cry. She felt around until she discovered the hollow tooth that the slick remains of a capsule had been hidden. She tried to squish the irritable anger from learning such an implication, but it struck her overwhelmingly. "Oh, come on!" That simply didn't add up to the whole being used for the sake of the brother story.

She started to send her chakra questing forth to decompose the cyanide, but stopped when she felt the heart suddenly stop.

_My vows!_

Had she pushed Watanabe into biting down on the pill? Would she have stopped the damage before it had progressed too far and too fast for her to neutralize it?

Would she have cared?

Sakura carefully laid Watanabe's body out on the floor, and then slammed both fists into the floor. "_Damn_ it!" She felt the building shudder from the vibration of her strike. She sank back on her heels as her mind reeled in dismay. "Damn it," she uttered. "Damn it all." Inner Sakura began berating her for feeling sorry for herself. She pushed the guilt away, pushed the sudden onslaught of anxiety and worthlessness away, and forced herself to stand and move towards Watanabe's personal things for a search. As her fingers brushed the smooth wooden top of the dresser that had stood in the far corner, she heard a dog begin to bark.

When Sakura slid the top drawer open and began to paw through the clothes, the one dog barking became many dogs backing.

As she shut the drawer upon finding nothing suspicious and moved on to the next drawer, there came a horrible crashing noise, like the gates of hell breaking loose. Before she realized it, she was across the room and leaning halfway out the window, one hand gripping the sill while the other rested lightly at the weapon pouch strapped to her thigh. She concentrated her senses outward and noted several large flare-ups of charka. She counted them each off in her mind. _Tsunade-sama, Kakashi, Tsume-san…. _Something dark and powerful had overcome the gates and the dogs were racing towards it.

Sakura's grip on the windowsill shattered the wood. Panic bubbled inside at the thought of being pursued by her nightmares, and for a fleeting moment she wondered how the stalagmites could possibly have caught up to her and Kakashi. But no – those were hallucinations, and her mind was clear. Crystal clear. As crystalline and as clear as a pool of icy mountain spring water.

"Or as crystalline and as clear as springtime runoff in a rice field_…"_ Inner Sakura somehow managed to sound incredibly snide despite how bad the situation had just become.

"Shaddup."

"Whatever."

She backed out of the window, fell to her knees and couldn't feel the rough wooden floor scrape them raw. The sensation of being choked, of something standing above her with a killing hatred, made Sakura whip around in panic, the back of her head glancing off the wall. Watanabe's body lay unmoving, but the fear of another failure pursuing and casting guilt upon Sakura's soul pushed her back onto her feet and out the window in escape.

She hit the ground harder than she had anticipated, the shock of which made her knees go temporarily numb and the soles of her feet ache.

"Calm down!"

"_What_?" Sakura shrieked. Inner Sakura recoiled in surprise. "It wasn't supposed to be like this! I should never have done this on my own!" She was too incompetent to be _trusted_ on her own, that was the problem! She ought to be chained to her own bed where someone like Kakashi could constantly keep an eye on her. She grabbed her own skull between her hands and began to squeeze, wanting to obliterate the guilt, to do away with the memory of her mistakes, of her never-ending incapability.

"Sakura – stop that!"

"Yo!" Pakkun bound up to Sakura and jumped upon her. Startled, Sakura grabbed him before he could land on her head. "The boss sent me and – hey! You don't smell like Kakashi!" He gave her an offended look. Sakura was silent as Pakkun wiggled his way free of her arms and onto the ground. The canine took a serious stance as he angled back towards the direction he came, and then cast Sakura a disproving glare over his shoulder. "We're under attack! Kakashi wants you to assemble at his side!"

They moved together at once at full-tilt, Pakkun a few steps ahead as he led the way, Sakura moving on instinct. _Under attack_. Tsunade had authored various plans of counterattack after she became Hokage, and Sakura knew her role should the village be attacked at night when off-duty.

Assemble at the front lines and batter her way through anything that clearly didn't belong.

Sakura welcomed and relished the thrill of using brute strength, of hitting first and never suffering the consequences thereafter.

Anything more required responsibility and decisions, and it was apparent that she was still incapable of handling either.

oOoOoOo

Tsunade was out of her bed and across the room when the nin-dog pack broke free of its kennels. Sai entered her room and was standing at attention when she reached the door.

"We seem to be under attack," he said in that peculiarly nonchalant manner of his.

Tsunade grabbed him by the vest and yanked him along in step with her. "Details!" she barked as she herded him to her closet.

"I expect everyone will be deploying in their places as outlined in Operation D: Nightfall attack on ground level," Sai recited. "Teams have begun immediate movement to their assigned places – I've taken the liberty for sounding the siren once we were alerted."

"Any snags?" Tsunade sensed Sai tense at her side as she shamelessly stripped off her pajamas. She barely glanced at him as she began to pull on the battle garb she had stashed away.

"Well…"

"If it's not worth mentioning, don't bother," Tsunade said sharply as she turned around. Sai wordlessly hooked her bra in the back.

"The order to use the siren came across wire," Sai began, his voice taking on a strangely disquiet quality. Tsunade slipped on both boots, and then hoisted one foot in the air for Sai to lace up as she bent over to lace the other. "Although we must admit we couldn't quite figure out why anyone would go through the trouble of replicating Inuzuka Kiba's voice and using his passwords to alert us of an attack."

Tsunade straightened and stared at Sai so sharply she was almost surprised he didn't fall over out cold from the full force of her expression. "_What_?"

Sai took half a step back, though his face didn't lose its nonchalance and his hands didn't still as he knotted her boot laces. "Following the alert, two sentries sent back warnings before they were silenced. We began mobilizing but whatever is attacking got here fast. By the time I reached your room, the Inuzuka dogs broke free."

Tsunade grabbed her flak vest off its hanger so hard her nails tore through the material. "Give me a full report after the attack is neutralized!" She began to jam weapons, summon scrolls, and various medical implements into the jacket's many pockets as Sai buckled it up so it wouldn't slip or gape across her substantial bosom.

Every operation that countered an attack on Konoha required an immediate and direct assault with every able ninja divided into teams specific to each location in every operation. Given their run of losing their leaders to frontal assault, Konoha had been understandably reluctant to allow Tsunade to lead the attacks.

So Tsunade promised to fight in proper battle gear, because even she admitted that high heels carried an unexpected vulnerability.

Since she also threatened to stab anyone in the heart with her high heels if they persisted on trying to get any more concessions out of her, they decided that Tsunade in proper battle gear was good enough.

"Let's go!" Tsunade launched across the room and leapt out of her window. Sai followed without hesitation. She shoved her worry from Sai's revelation deep within her mind, determined not to let such a silly little thing ruin the enjoyment of a good fight. She'd been aching for something to break lately, and now the chance was being given to her on a silver platter.

Later, when she would have to patch up the wounded and sacrifice sleep and nourishment to oversee the costly recovery, she could worry and fret. But for now, there was punishment to glut upon.

oOoOoOo

It was too dark to make out the exact details of what he and Kabuto had silently charged at, weapons raised and muscles tense. It was a blessing in disguise that Kakashi didn't really have to see the horrors that he fought. The memory of Sakura's report and his own imagination filled in what the darkness hid, what speed blurred, and what blood obscured. The monsters, hundreds, perhaps thousands, had crashed through the gates and swarmed the massive walls. Their intimidating size and soulless ruthlessness was enhanced by unbelievable grace and strength. But they were slow. In Kakashi's Sharingan eye, they were like babies struggling through molasses. But each monster he struck down was replaced by two, three, four more, each as mindless as the other, each as bloodthirsty and as immune to pain as the last.

He had summoned kage bunshins to meet numbers with numbers, but when the Inuzuka nin-dog pack charged through they heedlessly knocked his bunshins out of existence. He tried to exert some command over them, but they simply ceased to regard human authority – or at least _his_ human authority. They attacked the monsters with the same bloodthirsty ruthlessness, almost rabid in their uncharacteristically brutal demand for revenge. Someone had been egging them on, Kakashi suspected.

He also suspected that someone's name started with "Aka" and ended in "maru".

The pack was proving to be both a great help and a horrible hindrance. None of the operations had taken into account more than a hundred dogs attacking the enemy without guidance, darting between friends and foes, using their human allies for cover and ambushes. It was even worse that the pack's frenzy made it difficult for _them_ to distinguish between friend and foe at times. It was not unusual for a dog to lunge and snap at a Konohan shinobi who accidentally bumped or crashed into a dog, but the bites were at least mild. _Mental note to self,_ Kakashi thought, _have Tsunade-sama issue rabies vaccinations to everyone stationed at this sector._

Kakashi was both alarmed and dismayed to see otherwise well-mannered, elderly bitches savagely falling upon and rendering one six-legged monster into pieces, its black blood foaming in their mouths. The ground was quickly churned into a slick, frothy mud. The air stunk of fear, urine, and blood, and would have surely overwhelmed sensitive Inuzuka. Kunai and shuriken rained copiously through the air, the screams and cries an orchestra of hell.

Kabuto quickly recognized his own limitations within the battle amongst the dogs and not being accounted for in any operation. He administered battlefield care to their wounded allies with the same precise accuracy Kakashi was so used to seeing in Sakura, but lacking her concern (although why he would even have the time to notice and compare in the battlefield was completely beyond him, but the notion stubbornly persisted because the foolish woman was nowhere to be seen and neither was Pakkun, and so help him if the two of them had gotten eaten by something big and ugly along the way…!)

There were also enemy shinobi, which he supposed made sense because _something_ had to be controlling the monsters. Kakashi learned of this the hard way when he paused in the fighting long enough to steady who he thought was an ally, and narrowly missed being gutted. The razor-sharp kunai sliced the side of his hip and then slid into his thigh, parting recently-healed flesh and spilling blood. An Inuzuka dog leapt onto Kakashi's attacker from behind, great jaws closing down upon the enemy's skull for a single crushing bite.

Kabuto was immediately at Kakashi's side, one hand clamping tightly down upon the spurting wound.

"We hardly know one another." Kakashi spoke without malice as he easily blocked the downward blow of a double-clawed paw before he buried a kunai into the monster's eye. The healing was done within seconds, a slap-dash job indeed, but at least the wound wouldn't open and bleed all over the battle site. Kabuto immediately left for another wounded ally, and Kakashi suspected that Sakura would have at least _smiled_ at him before she left.

Kakashi quickly adjusted for the pulling tightness that shortened his stride and weakened his kicks. Within moments he had worked out a new pattern to the attacks, allowing for his allies of human and canine shinobi, and his enemies. The battle seemed to flow better then, but the bodies still continued to pile.

When his chakra began to wane and flag, Kakashi pulled his forehead protector back over his eye. The sudden change in his senses was momentarily shocking, sending him stumbling off-balance. Something grabbed his arm and steadied him.

"Ah, Sakura!" He smiled down at her, all too aware of how the very leg she had shattered and then repaired just a few days earlier was beginning to tremble with fatigue and pain, throbbing from both its newest wound and its recovered scars. "Come to join us at once!"

The look of her eyes as she glanced at him before turning her attention back on the battle was breathtakingly beautiful in all its primal anger. Sakura's face was flushed with excitement, her eyes glazed with battle lust as she released her hold on Kakashi's arm. "I see you saved some for me," she said. She flexed her arm and sidestepped to meet the oncoming attack of one monster. One well-aimed blow shattered the ribcage and crushed the heart beneath. Her expression collapsed just as the monster did.

Kakashi saw the brief flash of a woman tethering on the brinks of ruin, and he pulled her into a tight hug, trusting the Inuzuka dogs to watch his back.

"They're human!" Sakura cried.

"They're enemies," Kakashi replied. Then he released and pushed her backwards in time for a monster to crash down between them, someone perched on its back. A massive one-eyed dog, similar to Kakashi with its eye patch, jumped off the monster's back and landed beside Sakura on the ground, his hackles raised.

Tsume, from atop the monster, raised her fingers to her lips and whistled, the shrill sound startling the Inuzuka dogs from their fight. "Assemble!" she commanded, her bellowing voice carrying over the cacophony of battle noise. Kuromaru barked three times, each precise and even. The pack began to break apart into pairs, their cohesiveness growing immediately as their human mistress reasserted their superior cunning.

Kakashi and Sakura stared.

"What?" Tsume asked impatiently as she lightly stepped off the monster.

"Where's your battle gear?" Sakura demanded as she pointed.

Tsume looked down. "What's wrong with what I've got on?"

"Nothing," Kakashi put in hurriedly. "Nothing wrong at all. Ouch."

Sakura withdrew her elbow from Kakashi's side. "You're not _wearing_ battle gear!"

Tsume sniffed and turned up her nose. "I'm not wearing _anything_." She proudly posed, cocking her hips provocatively and jutting her chest out. She flashed a grin at the admiring whistle Kabuto sent her from across the battlefield, and then started forward.

Sakura slapped a hand against her forehead. "Kiba's mother. Right."

"It wasn't his father he got his brazen personality from," Tsume muttered. "Besides, _I_ look mighty fine for being fortysome years old."

Kakashi blinked. "You're not fortysome years old. You're fifty-" Sakura elbowed him in the side, again.

"Gotta go!" Tsume waved to them as she ran off into another direction, Kuromaru following at her bare heels. "My dogs are scattered all over and I gotta get them under control! Move it!" she snarled at one monster when it leaped in front of her. It was long and lean, its face stretched in a snout and a long, sleek tail lashing angrily from behind. At Tsume's command, it squeaked in fear and scuttled out of her way, where other Inuzuka dogs fell upon it with glee.

"That one must have been spliced with a dog," Pakkun muttered from where he was hiding behind Kakashi's legs.

"Hey!" Kiba dashed past Sakura and Kakashi, skipping through the monsters like they weren't there. "Wait for me, Mom!" He skidded to a halt. "Sakura, tell Mom that she's got to brace the dogs for – oh, forget it. Kabuto! I need your help!"

Sakura felt her knees suddenly weaken and give out. Kakashi grabbed her up and leapt out of the way of another monster.

oOoOoOo

Tsunade paused a moment to wipe the blood from her brow. None of it was her own, but it stung viciously when it hit her eyes, and blurred her vision. She lashed backwards suddenly, her fist met with equal force, but no malice. Without looking, she shook her fist free. "About time you damn well made it."

"Hey," Naruto said defensively, "we rushed!"

"Can it!" Tsunade barked. "We've got a battle to win! So what exactly are you going to do?"

There was a moment of stunned silence. "_Me_?"

"Yes, you! You pull something out of your ass like you always do or this village is going to be lost, and not in the same way as your other!"

"Hey! Well, Sasuke-"

Tsunade threw another light punch at Naruto, but he caught it again. "We will not mention his name!"

"Oh, fine then. He-whose-name-we-will-not-mention thinks he can use his summon to pin the monsters on the other side in a pincer attack, causing less property damage than anything _I_ can come up with. Ino's waiting to pass on your decision because he refuses to show his hand without you accepting the fall for it. We gotta move fast though." His expression became troubled, which made Tsunade's heart sink and panic settle. "The enemy intends to gather up our ninja as prisoners and make them into monsters like these, but worse. The discovery at the cave has forced their hand early, so they intend to take what they can."

Because normal humans didn't stand a chance against normal ninja; if normal ninja could barely hold their own against monsters-from-normal-humans, the thought of an army of monsters-from-ninja was enough to make Tsunade's blood run cold no matter how little she admittedly knew of what was going on.

She glared. "This summon have anything to do with snakes?"

Naruto grinned. "Nope!"

"Fine then. We can't hold up against this assault otherwise. Hit them hard from the other side and maybe we can wipe them out before we lose anyone else." Dawn wasn't due for another three hours, and while Tsunade was proud of how much the operations had held out, she hadn't factored in an enemy that wasn't human.

She would sooner kill everyone in this village than allow them to fall in the hands of mad scientists.

Naruto nodded his head. His eyes went blank for a moment as his upper body drooped. Barely a second later and his head snapped upright. He winced. "She always leaves me with a headache when that happens," he grumbled.

Tsunade surveyed the damage, readying herself for another attack as soon as the summon came through. "Naruto, what sort of summon is this?"

He grinned, possibly at the very image. "Nin-cats!"

Tsunade choked. "_Cats_?"

"Yeah. Who'da thunk that Sasuke even _liked_ cats?"

"**_Cats_**!" Tsunade watched in horror as Tsume wordlessly streaked by (why didn't _she_ have to wear battle gear?), a small pack of nin-_dogs_ following at her heels and barking out coded commands. "Oh _shi_-"

oOoOoOo

The battle between Konoha shinobi and the inhuman monsters would live on forever in the minds and tales of its citizens. The horrors of those nighttime hours, the drama, pain, deaths, triumphs and successes, would be reminisced upon for years to come. The reports would be numerous and mind-boggling, the accounts immortalized in their history books.

But the battle between nin-dogs and nin-cats is best left unmentioned – like Naruto's missing village.

oOoOoOo

In the aftermath, flies buzzing at congealed blood and decomposing corpses, the wounded citizens of Konoha began to pick up the pieces, bury the dead, move the wounded, and catalog the damages. The gentle morning light chased away nightmares even as it revealed the ugliness that had been wrought.

There was too much waiting for her at the hospital, but Tsunade still thought that it was never too early for stiff drink.

The fact that she had to _share_ was hardly a comfort.

"Ah, nothing like a hangover to help put things in perspective!" Sai announced happily from where he had wedged himself between Sakura and Kabuto. Sakura was too tired to throttle Sai, because it was inhuman how anyone could be so damn cheerful after such a harrowing battle – except Naruto, but it could be argued that Naruto didn't qualify as being completely human by way of harboring an immortal demon within his belly button. So she quietly sipped the sake and hoped that Sai wouldn't bring Tsunade's wrath down upon her by proximity. She and Kakashi had just arrived to the little group, and she didn't relish moving. She was going to need the alcohol for later – she had… ghosts to confront, skeletons tucked away in her closet to bury.

She wished that Sai and Naruto hadn't snagged her by the wrists and pulled her down to sit between the two of them.

"Explain to me again," Tsunade began as she swished the sake around in her battered cup, "how the nin-cats summon was stopped."

"I told you. Twice," Tsume snarled.

"I know." Tsunade smirked humorlessly. "But I like to hear good tales over good drink. And it's for the good of our audience, who are never to speak of this to anyone, anywhere, because it involves someone who is not to be mentioned because of his entry in the Bingo Book." She gave Kakashi and Sakura a pointed glare, and they knew what that meant. They had the privilege of knowing how the battle ended because they had been there from the start. This was henceforth to be Ultra-Classified.

"Apparently the brat hasn't seen a naked woman since he left Konoha."

_**Woe**_! _Damn does that sake burn when it goes into the lungs!_ Kabuto reached around Sai and pounded on Sakura's back, very pointedly ignoring the irate scowl Kakashi sent him from where he sat between Tsume and Ino.

"And what a shock that must have been," Tsunade said snidely. "Especially when it's from a woman old enough to be his mother."

"I happen to look _mighty_ fine for a fortysome year old woman!" Tsume declared proudly.

"Actually, you're a fifty – ow." Kakashi winced as Tsume withdrew her elbow from his side.

"Whatever." Tsunade muttered something unflattering into her sake. "So, having at least beheld the wondrous work of nature that is yourself…?"

"He passed out." The silence stretched uncomfortably. Tsume gritted her teeth. "From an unexpected blood loss. Look, can I go get dressed now?"

"Why?" Tsunade asked with a pointed leer. "You look _mighty_ fine from where I'm sitting." Then she giggled and hiccupped. "Fine, fine, get going." She waved her hand irritably. "We've all got important duties to fulfill. I want a full report on my desk by tomorrow morning. And that includes the guy who summoned the nin-cats." Her eyes flickered over to Ino. "See to it that he's told when he," she glanced sideways at Sai, "wakes up from… blood loss."

Sai, wisely, kept any smart remark to himself as he and Ino left to help pick up survivors.

Kakashi and Sakura were parted once more, because Naruto insisted on dragging Sakura off in one direction, and Tsunade strong-armed Kakashi along with her for another for an evaluation at the hospital.


	19. Chapter 19

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: I did it for Demeter1. Here's to you, my friend, for having been with me through the thick and the thin of writing this story.

* * *

Sakura saw them together, two ghosts of the past, one dark head bowed beside one transparent brunet head, and they both looked up as she and Naruto approached. She hesitated for a moment, wrung her hands in worry, and then carefully approached. She stopped once she was only a reach away from where Sasuke sat upon the shattered remains of one house. They all ignored the monstrous bodies that lay near and the buzzing flies keeping the dead company.

"Can you see him?" Sakura asked Sasuke. He studied her, a large, ugly bruise marring his otherwise pristine face, and then jerked his head in a nod.

Sakura turned to glare at Kiba. "What the hell is going on?" she demanded angrily, dashing at the tears that suddenly blurred her vision. "I don't understand! Are you dead or aren't you?"

"Uh," Naruto placed his hand on Sakura's shoulder, "Sakura? Are you feeling okay?" She shrugged his arm off, and Naruto looked at Sasuke in confusion.

"I'm dead, all right. Poison, remember?"

"Are you a ghost?" And before Kiba could respond, "Just how come only certain people can see you, and why me? That _alone_ was enough to drive me to the brinks of insanity!" She ignored Naruto's pleading inquiries.

Kiba looked uncomfortable. "Well, see, it's actually all _your_ fault."

She didn't know if that deserved the dignity of a response. "_Mine_?" Ah, dignity, thy name is lost!

"Well, yeah. Did you know that Death is actually this really cute girl who flies on an oar?"

"What does-"

"So I gave her a wonderful kiss!"

Sakura's demands stuttered to a halt as she tried to imagine Kiba doing anything so obnoxious. Sasuke actually slapped a hand against his forehead in exasperation. "You what?"

Kiba shuffled his feet. "And I might have, uh, felt her up. Maybe."

"You _what_?" ("What's going on, Sakura-chan? Neh? Hey, Sasuke?")

"But I had to go back and help you, so Death said fine, but the only people who could see me were the people I've been sexually intimate with. I don't think she realized, ah, just how much I got around."

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "Sexual? _You_ told me that it was a medical prostate exam." Naruto choked, but whether it was from shock or trying to smother sudden laughter was up to debate.

Kiba stared at Sasuke with a blank expression. "Surely you jest. Do the words, 'pick-up lines' mean anything to you?"

Sakura felt her face turn beet-red. Having witnessed what Kiba could do with other guys, Inner Sakura was delighted in letting their imagination run amuck. "But – but-"

Naruto flung his arm wide to point at Sasuke. "Wait a minute – you mean _he_ gets laid more than _I_ do?"

Kiba shrugged. "Hey, you didn't take me up on any of my offers, even when I said I could henge myself into Sakura-"

"WHAT?" The ground around Sakura splintered and Naruto swiftly retreated a few wary steps.

Sasuke coughed and Kiba blanched. "… It has suddenly occurred to me that I've very glad I'm dead."

"Wait – wait!" Naruto floundered.

"What about Kabuto?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

Kiba grinned. "That's how we met, remember? He wanted a distraction because you had to assassinate someone, and thus _I_ came into play. No pun intended. He swore up and down that he would make it worth my time and effort, although I admit I wouldn't have really cared in the end because the man knows how to use his-"

Sakura slapped her hands over her ears. "I don't want to know!" she cried, although Inner Sakura insisted that they needed the details. For their report. Yeah. ("Oi, what's he saying, Sakura-chan?")

Sasuke, on the other hand, regarded Kiba with open curiosity. "I never did get the details on that distraction."

Kiba leered. "I would _love_ to give you the details."

Sasuke snorted. "I'm sure. Some other time."

"Of course, my mother and sister were also able to sense me."

Sakura stomped her foot. "I said I _don't_ want to know!"

Even Sasuke managed to look a little disgusted as his face inexplicably and uncharacteristically flushed a bright red. "That's delving into realms I want nothing to do with. I've already seen what she looks like without her clothes."

Kiba shrugged. "But you gotta admit that Mom looks really good for a woman of her age."

"Well, then, fine!" Naruto declared as he threw his arms up in the air, and then folded them across his chest in a sulk. "Don't tell me anything! It's not like _I_ have any deep, dark secrets to hide. Sheesh."

Sasuke glanced sideways at Naruto. "The only thing _you_ have to hide is that village."

"_grrrk_"

"Oh, wait." Sasuke smiled smugly. "You didn't hide it – you lost it!"

"Idon'twannatalkaboutit."

"Well, I do!" Sakura smothered Naruto's protests with a hand over his mouth. "Not your village, but this." She waved around at the carnage. "What's going on here? How did this come to be?" She told Sasuke, Naruto, and Kiba of what she learned from Watanabe, but squirmed in guilt because she really wanted Kakashi present to hear this. They were Team Seven once more, the Team that should have, could have, might have been if different roads had been taken. She knew Kakashi would have found the sight of his Team, standing shoulder to shoulder as mature, responsible adults as precious of a memory as she found it.

Except Kiba's presence was ruining that pristine image in her head.

"Fuck you, too," Kiba said without any animosity.

"Stay the hell out of my head!" Sakura snapped impatiently.

"I'm not in your head. I could always read your face like a blank book. And where's my dog, dammit? How'd you manage to go and lose the finest tracking dog in all of Konoha _again_?"

Sakura wished Kiba was alive, if just for the satisfaction of wrapping her arms around his neck and wringing the ever-lovin' daylights out of it. "Yeah, well, your mom!"

Kiba burst out laughing. "I could take that in so many different ways!" He floated over to Sasuke's side.

"Don't touch me," Sasuke said, hunching his shoulders and moving closer to Naruto. Naruto merely blinked and looked annoyed at being left out of the conversation.

Sakura lightly punched Naruto in the upper arm. "What was the big idea of leaving?"

"Oh." Naruto brightened. "We found Gina alive!"

"Really?" Sakura laughed. "That's wonderful! How is she?"

"Very snarly."

She waved that away. "That's normal for Gina. What about Ochi?" She watched as their faces became very still (or Naruto's did, at least; Sasuke changed expression like Shikimaru changed levels of energy, and Kiba had his back to her). "What did you learn?" she asked softly.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a knowing look that had her bristling at the implications. "Now wait just a minute – hey! Stop that!" They ignored her when each man grabbed an arm and led her over to the shattered remains of the treestand that sentries had used for lookout before the monsters had ambushed and destroyed it. Kiba floated behind.

"We need to talk," Sasuke said grimly as he sat down beside her.

"And it's going to be really ugly," Naruto added in an identical voice.

Sakura clasped her hands between her knees as she felt Kiba settle behind her. "But not," Kiba put in optimistically, "as ugly as those hallucinations. Trust me: being dead is a hell of a lot easier than suffering that gas."

Surrounded by brute male force, Sakura couldn't help but feel like a worthless damsel in distress. But she shouldn't be – she could effortlessly physically pound them senseless and then heal them back to their original state of health without breaking a sweat. But the guys flanked her from all around as if they were trying to save her… and they probably were, since she most likely needed saving from herself.

"Oh, stop that. We don't need the added angst."

Sakura gritted her teeth. _Leave me alone, you. I've had enough of the damn coddling! I made mistakes and I need to own up for them or I'll never be able to walk without anyone gripping my hand._

"Just humor their male sensibilities," Inner Sakura advised smoothly. "They're reacting to the situation in a typical male fashion, which is to say they alternately want to kill whatever is responsible, and cuddle with someone who is soft and squishy in all the right places."

"Ugh," Sakura muttered.

"I like soft and squishy!" Kiba declared.

"Stay the hell out of my head!"

Naruto glanced wide-eyed at Sasuke, who shrugged wordlessly.

"I'm still half-sane," Sakura warned Naruto. He managed to grin despite his obvious apprehension.

"And Jiraiya-sensei often said that a woman with half her sense was worth ten of me!"

"That… does not really make me feel better, Naruto."

Sasuke, after a long pause, rolled his eyes and reached around Sakura to smack Naruto upside the back of his head.

"What was that for, you loser?" Naruto demanded hotly.

"Because _someone_ had to." Sasuke settled back against the debris. He settled his _ugly_ arms upon his raised knees and forcefully knit his _ugly_ fingers together. "What happened?" he asked softly, his dark eyes burrowing into her own. She found herself captivated by the intensity of a gaze that held a hint of a spark, but nothing more. "When we left – what did you learn here?"

Sakura tore her gaze from his own and let it drop to the ground. She saw their feet, Naruto's to one side of her own and Sasuke's to the other. None of them had painted their toenails. Not that she expected Sasuke or Naruto to paint their nails… she wasn't sure how she would have reacted if they did. (She briefly entertained the notion of inviting the boys along for a pedicure, but somehow she suspected they wouldn't take her up on it.)

As her gaze flitted from detail to inconsequential detail, her mind languidly went backwards through the days, until she was remembering her arrival at the hospital, and how she had met Watanabe. Knowing that Watanabe had died of a sudden heart attack when she might have been able to do something made Sakura's stomach sink in dismay and despair. Naruto took one of her hands into his own and squeezed it; Sakura lifted her head and smiled brightly as she felt warmth flutter and mask the sinking feeling.

She told them what happened then, at the hospital after she had arrived. Her words were linear in fashion, meant to fill in those blank spots in her mind up until the point Naruto had left on the mission Tsunade sent him on, and then continued with everything thereafter – Dr. Ishin's death, the lacing of her own morphine. She spoke under the assumption that Sasuke knew everything that Naruto did. She was hesitant with the information she learned from Watanabe, but she didn't shirk from telling them of the mistakes she made.

"I was a fool," she said bitterly once she reluctantly revealed how she had consciously and knowingly ignored the symptoms and allowed Watanabe to die. "I – I feel horrible, because at the time I felt she was just nervous and panicking, or maybe just faking it to appeal to my better nature." _And it's quite apparent that I _don'thave_ a better nature,_ Sakura mentally added, nearly choking on the flood of bitterness. "I should have moved to heal her. And then we were under attack and I went off to help like I was supposed to."

Naruto squeezed Sakura's hand again. "This is why Hinata gets to be present for healing during interrogations," he said.

Sakura frowned. "Why?"

"Because you've got a vicious streak."

She winced as that struck home at her own insecurities. Sasuke reached around Sakura to smack Naruto upside the head again.

"Bastard! Wazza big idea?"

Sasuke ignored Naruto. "That helps clarify some of the information we had," he said thoughtfully. Sakura turned to study him, but his gaze was distant. "Kabuto and I have been monitoring the goings-on in the caves for some time. There's an underground group of scientists who've been doing very dangerous tinkering with genetics and drugs – _he_ was quite involved with them before he got tangled with Akatsuki," Sasuke added, jabbing a claw-like finger at his forehead. "Kabuto and I have been trying to destroy them for a number of years now. But their hooks are buried deep within many innocents and to tear one loose would uproot and hurt far too many. We don't know who, exactly, or how many, but we do know that they operate independently of other megalomaniac evils, although they hire out to cover costs – so long as they can gain knowledge. They're pursuing science no matter the cost, justifying all ends with every means. This science focuses on human beings in general and their limitations – and how to remove them."

Sasuke closed his eyes for a brief moment, and Sakura took advantage of the lull. "Does Tsunade-sama know?"

He smiled unexpectedly. "Shizune-san is our liaison."

"Oh."

"We've been communicating since Naruto lost his village."

"I _didn't_ lose the village – I know precisely where it's at!"

Sakura and Sasuke stared at Naruto in surprise. "Well, this is the first _I_ heard!" Sakura declared. Naruto stubbornly looked away.

"To continue," Sasuke said with irritation in his voice, "I still haven't learned who sent Kiba's team to the caves. There was three things going on that pertain to those scientists."

"Those creatures," Sakura said in a quiet voice.

"Humans warped and changed through means I will not explain. We learned from Gina and the guards we've… interrogated… that the scientists had been hired to create an army of living weapons. The normal humans worked so well that they were going to unleash the monsters on the closest Hidden village – Konoha – as a test for their strengths and to gather up the wounded ninja to further supplement their army of genetically-altered living weapons. Especially when they learned just how resistant a Jounin-level ninja is to torture."

"Sasuke found what was left of Ochi," Naruto whispered, his grip on her hand tightening.

"I see," Sakura replied, fighting to keep back tears.

"But they weren't supposed to attack so soon," Kiba said softly. Sasuke repeated the sentence for Naruto's sake, who nodded in agreement while a disturbed frown marred his face.

"Apparently, between the scientist who decided to conduct an unauthorized experiment and the supplier who panicked and tried to cover her own ass, it forced their hand against the village early," Sasuke continued. "Although to what extent Dr. Ishin had planned as an experiment and how much of it was Watanabe's panic is probably lost forever with both of them. And it may not have been Watanabe who killed Ishin – it could also have been a rival to either of them. But as good as any of us are, we can't ask questions of the dead. Present company excepted."

Sakura winced.

Naruto immediately reached out to whack Sasuke upside the head.

"I'll break your arm again if you invade my bubble," Sasuke warned.

"Whatever. You deserved that."

Kiba growled. "Children, please!"

"So now what?" Sakura asked. "Did we destroy all the monsters? Are they going to be out for revenge? What?"

"Prior experience leads me to say that you people have proven to be too much trouble to continue bothering."

_The problem with talking to Sasuke,_ Sakura thought irritably, _is that his deadpan voice makes it difficult to take him seriously. And there's no way to detect if he's being deliberately evasive, either._ "What? No revenge?"

Sasuke shook his head. "That's why it has been very difficult to completely find each and everyone of them to destroy, Sakura. That's why Kabuto and I don't know precisely how many there are or how far deeply they're entrenched in society. They think of themselves as the purest of scientists – absolute reason, they have relinquished human desires, wants, pettiness, and emotions. They don't care about another person's pain simply because they have destroyed empathy – that gets in the way of obtaining results." Sasuke stood and began to pace in irritation. "But they also managed to purge themselves of the _concepts_ like revenge, bitterness, anger, possibly arrogance."

Sakura watched in mute horror, taken back by such a strange display of emotion.

"So, no," Sasuke added hurriedly, "they won't come after Konoha and they won't come after you. They'll erase their tracks, file their attempts under Failure, and move on to the next inhuman experiment."

"But you're keeping my dog close, you hear? Sakura? Are you even listening to _me_?"

_And that was it_, she realized with breath-taking clarity. Sasuke hadn't purged himself of those very things, and he was frustrated because of… what? Because he was unable to separate himself from what had destroyed his past, burnt his bridges so thoroughly that he would probably never return home? Because he was still human, with all of his human weaknesses and frailty? Or was it because someone else had managed to rid themselves of their humanity – and they _still_ managed to fuck up so spectacularly?

Sakura stood and Sasuke went still. He watched warily as she approached, smiling proudly all the while. "Sasuke." She reached out and gently grabbed his ugly arms, ignoring their waxy texture and how they seemed to suck the warmth from her fingertips. The rest of his body suddenly went ramrod straight, dark eyes widening in panic as she moved close enough for their noses to bump. "Sasuke, thank you for remaining human." Then she embraced him.

Naruto cheered. "Group hug!" He threw his arms around Sakura and Sasuke, who demanded that they kindly observe his personal space and – stop that! My ass was not up for grabs, you damn ghost!

oOoOoOo

Tsunade's purposeful walk stopped at the soft call of her name. Without looking towards the owner of the voice, she crossed her arms before herself and waited.

"Tsunade-sama, I – I can't go back to being a medic."

She stood still, giving no indication whatsoever that she had heard anything, until Sakura finally emerged from the shadows and approached shamefacedly, Akamaru at her side with his ears drooping and his tail tucked between his legs. "I ignored my training more times than I can count, and because of it people died. Some of the ignorance was from stupid mistakes, but the rest of it was unforgivable, willful negligence. I broke my vows, I scorned your teaching, and my reputation is shot all to hell."

Tsunade shifted her weight from one leg to the other, dropping her arms so she could rest one hand against a cocked hip. "You foolish girl." Sakura winced and seemed to sink further into herself. "You stupid, foolish, hardheaded, ignorant wastrel of a child!" Akamaru dropped to his belly and whimpered. At least _one_ person had the sense to grove. "You think I invested eight years into you just to have you throw that all away the first time hardship proves to be too much for you? You think I will find such a miserable excuse of ignorance to be an acceptable reason in which to lose possibly the best apprentice I will ever have in my lifetime?"

Sakura ducked her face as her skin burned bright red in humiliation, but Tsunade had hit her stride and wasn't about to let Sakura slither away free. "And _now_ is the time you decide this? When I have a village in shambles, wounded people piling up in the hallway, investigations to do, and a medication scam that's going to require my entire attention? You want to leave me short-handed with incompetent fools who couldn't find their own asses with both hands for the sake of licking your own wounds_? I don't think so!_ If you want to talk about mistakes, about ignorance, about hardship then you're preaching to the choir – I was made Hokage of this village despite the mistakes I made, despite a crippling phobia of blood, so don't be telling _me_ about why _you_ can't go back to being a medic!"

"But I-"

Tsunade's hand moved in a blur. Sakura winced as if expecting a blow, but stared in surprise to see Tsunade holding up three fingers. "Three days!" Tsunade bellowed. "That's all you're going to get for moping and mourning, Sakura, and then I expect you back for double-shifts ready to jump when I say jump, do you hear me?"

Sakura squeaked.

"What was that?"

"Yes, Shisho!"

"Now get the hell out of my sight before I smack that chip named Pity right off your shoulder and put you to work on the aftermath that's overflowing the hospital!"

Sakura squeaked and retreated, Akamaru rushing to keep up.

Tsunade waited until Sakura was well out of hearing before allowing herself a smile. Tsume, emerging from around the corner she had been hiding, clapped slowly.

"Are you mocking me?" Tsunade asked, giving Tsume a cool look. "Don't give me a reason to get started on _your _complete and utter lack of proper battle gear!"

"You're right," Tsume replied blankly. "This calls for a punishment." Then a lecherous grin made its way free. "Clearly I deserve to be spanked!"

"Get out of here!" Tsunade snapped, pointing in the direction Sakura had retreated.

Laughing as she held her hands up in surrender, Tsume scuttled past Tsunade. "She's like a daughter to you, isn't she?" Tsume stuffed her hands in her pocket and hunched forward casually.

Tsunade swept past Tsume without looking. She then paused for a moment, still feeling Tsume's wry mirth in the air. "All of Konoha is my children – from very old to the very young, from the most obedient to the wayward. All those who have come before and will come after. And yes," here she turned her attention and gaze upon Kabuto, who had been silently shadowed by Tsume and remained blank-faced through their conversation, "that includes Konoha's fostered and adopted children, our lost and our abandoned, despite their feeling otherwise. That includes those who willfully reject their parents, who fuck up so spectacularly that the rest of the world hears about it. There will always be a place in our hearts and our hearths, even if we have to _chain_ them to the spit."

Kabuto turned his face away from Tsunade. "Somehow, I don't think that Itachi-san would have been all too stirred into remorse from such _motherly_ passion."

Tsunade snorted as she began to walk away. "Of course not. But when you see Sasuke, tell him if I ever get my hands on him he's not only due for a hard spanking, but he's also grounded until he's well over a hundred years old."

Kabuto twitched. "I'll see to it that the young master hears."

"With relish, I'm sure," Tsume put in dryly.

oOoOoOo

Naruto shoved Sasuke's scribbled pages into his folder. "Thanks," he said unnecessarily.

"Whatever. That's the last time I ever do a report for you."

"I really owe you one."

Sasuke twitched.

"But," Naruto added, looking off into the distance, "I can't help but feel we're missing something." They stood silently together for a long moment, and then both came to the same gut-sinking realization.

"Oh shit," Sasuke muttered at he placed a stiff hand across his eyes.

"I'm so dead," Naruto moaned.

oOoOoOo

Gina gritted her teeth as she led the Genin through the sparse underbrush. "I'm going to kill them," she swore. "I'll make their lives so miserable and so fraught their reincarnations are going to be feeling the aftermath for the next twenty generations to come!"

The Genin, wisely, remained silent.

oOoOoOo

Kakashi, Ino, and Naruto reached Tsunade's office at the same time the following day. Their reports clutched tightly to their chests or under their arms, they glanced with uncertainty at each other (except Kakashi, who looked bored), and then finally moved together on some sort of hidden signal. There had to be safety in numbers, right?

Tsunade, dressed in blood-splattered scrubs and her face drawn, looked up from the pile of papers her desk was hidden beneath. She calmly folded her arms before herself and waited until the three Jounin were lined up together before her. She grabbed a few objects from her desk and then cleared the entire surface with a single sweep of her hand. One of the Chuunin assigned to her winced as the many papers and folders crashed to the floor, and then moved to gather the mess into a straight pile.

"Here," she told the Jounin firmly, tapping the very middle of her desk. Three reports piled on top of one another. "You see this?" she asked them, hefting a nondescript folder from her lap for all to see. When they nodded, she threw it on top of their reports. "That," she said, jabbing her finger at it, "is Naruto's report on his missing village."

Kakashi and Ino glanced sideways at Naruto as his face flushed. Moving very carefully, Tsunade placed her paperweight on top of the report pile. The paperweight was actually a water globe with a quaint little village. No one remembered when Tsunade got it or from whom, but it was common knowledge that you did not move the water globe, you did not jostle the water globe, and if you even _thought_ of breathing on it your living hide would be nailed to the nearest surface.

Naruto's face went chalk-white as his eyes widened perceptibly.

"This," said Tsunade firmly, "is never to be spoken of, again. No mention of the scientific experiments, and no word of Sasuke. _If_ I follow through with an investigation, you will hear it from _me_, and _only me_." With that, she swiveled around in her chair until her back faced them and waved her hand. "Dismissed."

"Wow," Ino said when they had departed from her office. "To be placed in the same hush-hush category as Naruto's village." She whistled, impressed. Then she looked at Naruto, who still looked shell-shocked. "What's the matter with you?"

Naruto made a sound similar to that of a mouse caught by a sadistic cat, and then quickly separated from her and Kakashi.

"Don't ask me," Kakashi said when Ino glanced at him. "It's hush-hush, remember?" Then he wandered off to where he knew Sakura was _brooding_. Silly Sakura, there were more important things to do than brooding.

There was a bedpost he needed to tie her to, for one thing.

oOoOoOo

Sasuke entered Gina's room in the dead of night, through her open window. It would have been a more dramatic entrance if there had been curtains blowing in the breeze, but since the night was hot and still and muggy, and hospitals didn't think much of possible contaminates like curtains, Sasuke worked with what he had. At the very least, he ought to have been fending off a stationed guard, but Naruto had talked the other guard into taking a coffee break and firmly seated himself on the other side of the door to prevent disturbances.

Gina wasn't asleep when he entered. She silently watched by the light of the monitors as he approached and knelt at her bedside. Picking up one of her bandaged hands into his own stiff, cold hands, he did his best to smile. "I'm sorry, my dear, I must call off our engagement."

Gina sighed melodramatically. "But _why_?"

"It wouldn't have worked out. You know - my family, yours, our completely different backgrounds."

Gina batted her eyelids at him. "The fact that you're an S-class missing nin with a death sentence hanging over your head wherever you go, including and especially Konoha?"

"There is that minor inconvenience, yes."

"But why should we allow such a minor detail to get in the way of an otherwise _fabulous_ relationship?"

Sasuke lifted the palm of her hand and pressed a dry kiss into it. "Another time, another place, we might have had a future."

"Not with my career."

"I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors." Sasuke managed to school his face for a flash of genuine concern. "What will you do now?"

"Retire. The Inuzuka clan is giving me Kiba's pittance. I'm surprised the guy actually figured out what a savings account is. Maybe I'll go into sex ed."

"You'll be a wonderful teacher."

Sasuke dropped her hand and pressed his hands into her mattress to stand.

Gina reached up, grabbed him by his collar, and pulled him down for a sloppy, heated kiss. Sasuke's hands floundered in confusion for a moment before he forced his body to relax into it. The touch was too distant, too far away from him to appreciate its value or her deft skill, despite how his mouth still remained the most sensitive part of the overall numb body.

She finally broke off, pausing a moment to flick her tongue across his nose. Her bandaged hand dropped lower, slipping past his waistband. "If you ever do pop over for a visit," she whispered, "I would gladly give you a private lesson."

"Hmmm." Sasuke made a show of giving it thought. He knew he wouldn't come, and she knew it, but the masquerade afforded them both some comfort. Not to mention it gave Gina some time to flick her wrist and fingers in such a way that Sasuke almost wished his hands had their full range of motion once more, despite the rest of his shortcomings. "Perhaps. For your birthday." He supposed he _could_ try. Gina was Kiba's teammate – she had to be tactful, discreet, and patient, yes?

Sasuke savored the muted sensation for a moment more before gently grasping her wrist and tugging her hand free.

"What happened to your face?" she asked suddenly. He wished she hadn't.

"I was _stunned_… speechless by a naked Amazon."

Her eyebrows shot upward. "Do tell! Was it from any inappropriate words on your part?"

"Believe me, there _were_ no words." After a moment of hesitation, he pressed his lips to her forehead as he supposed she might have liked, and then disappeared.

Gina stared listlessly at the spot Sasuke had been, kneeling before her bed, accepting her ministrations.

And smiled slowly, evilly. There was a reason why Kiba always tried to stay on Gina's good side. In her line of work, blackmail was a skill she had taken much pride in - her deftness of it as quick and as easy as Naruto's use of kage no bunshin.

Was the betting pot on Sasuke losing his virginity still going, after eight years? It was certainly something worth investigating, especially since she had had that inside information from Kiba…

oOoOoOo

Sasuke had just settled himself within the great ear of a distant leader, folding himself in the crevices and creases until his body had molded itself to the surface like lichen growing upon a rock. He tucked a stiff arm under his head and was mentally preparing himself for a black sleep without voices or bloodstained thoughts when someone unexpectedly entered his presence.

Stiffly unfolding himself, he made a face before turning and facing the unfamiliar presence.

To his dismay and unexpected embarrassment, it was Kiba's mother, who looked quite interested at her surroundings.

"Huh. Never knew this place was here," she muttered, reaching out and running a hand across the stone's surface.

"What do you want?" Sasuke demanded resentfully; it was bad enough that Naruto knew he could be found here – he didn't want anyone to invade his privacy or impede upon what little peace he could find. Not to mention he could still see her in his mind's eye, hair still slightly damp and eyes gleaming dangerously as she stood naked… slick with sweat and chest heaving with every breath… demanding him to call off his cats or face her wrath. "Is it about your son?"

She curiously cocked her head to the side and regarded him in the same manner that he had once seen a dog regarding a rather large beetle before deciding the beetle made the perfect snack. "There are some things I would like to ask-" and there was a hint of something in her eyes that suggested the questions would be regarding events that occurred years before, "-but, no, not today," she added ruefully.

She was silent a moment, rocking on her heels and appeared to be carefully pooling her thoughts and ideas together. "I would like to borrow your minion."

"Kabuto is _not_ my minion."

Tsume waved away that protest with the same negligent effort as she would wave away a fly. "It won't be for too long – just a week." The bold line of her body, the sway of her rounded hips and the triangle of dark hair…

Sasuke slouched forward, allowing his arms to tumble uselessly into his lap. "And what _intentions_ do you have for Kabuto?"

The smile that crossed her face was surprisingly like Kiba's when he had been up to no good – tight, feral, and lecherous – it suddenly made so much sense to Sasuke how Kiba had managed to be such a good whore.

"Breeding," she said simply.

Sasuke opened his mouth to reply, recalled how she looked that night, and then clamped it shut. She radiated smugness then, and it irritated him to no end. "I leave that to my-"

"Don't worry." She dismissed his words once more with another wave. "I can seduce with the best of 'em." …confronting the enemy, hands on her hips with her chest proudly jutting forward… "He's not gay, is he? No? Well, then I have better than oh-so-fine odds. Probably wouldn't matter if he was gay, either, being the nasty, inconsiderate bitch that I am, most the time. Where do you think Kiba picked up his best techniques?" The smile she gave him was more teeth and sass than it was cheer.

Sasuke shied away with the thought of Kiba learning his best techniques from his _mother_ – there were still some things that he liked to think were sacred, no matter how Kiba did his best to desecrate any and all of them, even if he still couldn't get the image of Tsume's, uh, battle form from his mind. "Clearly you don't need-"

"Thank you very much," she cut in with such cheer that Sasuke desperately wished his hands would work for the two minutes required to throttle the woman. He doubted he would get away unscathed.

With a flippant wave of her fingers, she departed from his sanctuary, but he knew that regaining peace would not come easily.

Damn it.

Why did they always have to do this to him?

This was precisely the sort of thing that made him stay as far away from Konoha as possible, no matter how much effort Naruto might put into ambushing and trussing him up to haul him back. No matter how much Naruto would babble about keeping promises, Sasuke was _still_ better at getting out of the ropes than Naruto was at tying knots – dead hands or not.

As he settled back once more in the crook, he couldn't help but cradle the warmth that threatened to blossom deep in his gut because someone not closely attached to him had sought him out for a bloodless question – just a human touch of regard and consideration. He treasured it, deep within where the monster wouldn't distort it, barely allowing his thoughts to even skim over it. He would not even doubt that the treasure would be admired later; the less he gave the monster, the more he kept to himself, even if it was also kept _from_ himself.

* * *

**author's notes: **I'm done! Weeee! cartwheels I actually started writing this March 16th, 2005. Two years later, and the story that was originally just meant to be a 20,000 word mystery instead became a 100K monstrosity! I'm actually quite proud of myself to have finished it. This was the first horror/mystery I've ever written, and I'm glad to see a receptive readership. I was also trying to write a romance. This is also the first time I've ever tried to tell a story through a series of flashbacks, but I think it worked in this particular instance because of the nature of Sakura's madness.

I also really, really liked this particular Universe. While I'm not at all keen on revisiting _Switched!_, there's a fascinating dynamic with these characters and many different side stories demanding attention. I must admit I've become quite fascinated with the Inuzukas. And while I am definitely working on a sequel, I'd also like to cover Kiba's earlier, uh, endeavors (that's a good word for _those_), Sasuke's undertakings, and Naruto's missing village.

Incidentally, for all those curious (or not), my two favorite lines in this entire story are, "Can I go get dressed now?" and "Sexual? _You_ told me that it was a medical prostate exam"

This story is dedicated to Demeter1, because it started out as a little Christmas fic wherein she could read Kakashi/Sakura. I tried. I'd also like to thank everyone who has read this, especially all you lovely souls who took the time and effort to drop me a kind word through PMs, reviews, and my livejournal. It's far more appreciated than I could ever tell. :)

(I will eventually follow through with an added chapter - another side story, like I did with _A Gutter Rat's Tale,_ which would probably be a lemon between Sakura and Kakashi. That way, people not interested in reading lemons won't have to worry about skipping it to get back into the plot.


	20. Chapter 20

FANDOM & CATEGORY - Naruto / dark-suspense-romance  
PAIRING(S) - Sakura/Kakashi. Some totally non-sexual strains of "We're just friends!" Kiba/Sakura. Yeah, _right_.  
WARNINGS - Gore, death, sexual innuendo, torture, drug abuse.  
SUMMARY - It began with a hostage recovery mission. It ended in bloodshed and death. Caught in a circle of missing medications, her companions dead for mysterious reasons, Sakura means to get to the bottom of everything, even if she has to sacrifice what little remains of her sanity to do so. Dignity - what's this thing called dignity?  
DISCLAIMER: I did it for Demeter, even though I don't own any of the Naruto characters. If I did, Sasuke would be a lot less of an angtsy emo-turd. :D

NOTES: I really had completed this story on 6/29/07, and here I am, three and a half years later, finally posting what was meant to be an unofficial epilogue (really, I consider it to be a companion side-story-sequel). Well... consider this an early Christmas gift! :DDDD This is a semi-graphic lemon, and it explores a side of romance that is rarely seen in fanfiction. I think that trust is such an undervalued, underrepresented, but exceedingly important facet in any loving relationship. There's a special at the very end that doesn't have anything to do with Kakashi and Sakura. This is largely because, given Kiba's bisexuality, I wanted a gay scene.

(To be perfectly honest, I had almost all of this chapter just kind of hanging out on my computer. I finally just dusted it off, finished a few loose scenes, edited it, and then posted.)

* * *

Kakashi said nothing when he arrived on her doorstep – just came right on in and helped himself to her left-over turkey, a jar of sweetmustard in his pocket oh-so-conveniently winding up in her refrigerator "to chill" after he had slathered a generous amount onto his bread. She watched him from her kitchen table, her hands wrapped around the mug of green tea she had made herself. She hadn't yet decided if she resented his intrusion on her quiet moment of peace, as she listened to the wind moaning through the hole in her roof. (It was a sad sound, one that was lamenting the lost souls wandering in the darkness, destroyed in a single moment for someone's selfish curiosity.)

"Huh. Maybe Kiba can gather them up and make them into his own village," Inner Sakura suggested happily.

Yeah, and they could all go and settle in Naruto's missing village…

Sakura ignored the voice, ignored the chilly breeze, and concentrated on Kakashi. He was contemplating the difference between dark and light meat. She sat with her shoulders hunched, wondering when the ax was finally going to fall.

He seemed bound and determined to let her be the first to speak. Every time she opened her mouth, he tensed expectantly.

They needed to find a familiar, safe subject. "So, how was your checkup?" Sakura asked finally. Kakashi blinked at her. "The one that Tsunade did at the hospital? After you know what happened you know when?"

Kakashi crossed his arms before himself, glanced up at the hole in Sakura's roof, and then looked back at her. She had the sudden sneaking suspicion that he was smiling smugly at her from beneath that mask of his. "Tsunade said I require three days' rest and at least three invigorating massages by a qualified professional medical ninja."

Sakura twitched. "Oh, she did, did she?"

"Three massages a _day_."

"Oh really."

"With oil."

Oh hohohohoho. Sakura had a vision of a naked Kakashi, all slick and gleaming… _Down girl!_

"And candles."

Twitch twitch twitch. Naked and slick and gleaming by the soft casting light… (Must wipe away drool!)

"And soft music playing in the background-"

The fantasy spinning around in her mind came to an abrupt halt. "Oh for crying out loud-"

"I might have made that last up," Kakashi admitted reluctantly.

Sakura gripped her teacup hard. "I'm sure."

"And maybe the candles."

"Yeah."

"But the oil still stands."

"Really."

"And since _you_ happen to have three days off and _I_ happen to have three days off, and you are a skilled med-nin who is qualified to give invigorating massages…" Kakashi's voice trailed off; he appeared to have developed a twitch of his own.

It also appeared that Tsunade's idea of an invigorating rub was her way of saying… her way of saying…

_That you two really need to get on with it and make the two-backed beast,_ said a snide voice that was all too much like Kiba. _Because, dammit, there has been no sex for the entire adventure, and shouldn't every adventure have at least one great bout of sex?_

Sakura's body decided to tingle in agreement.

Nothing more was said as Kakashi returned to his sandwich-makings. Having satisfied that appetite, he retreated, telling Sakura he would return when he completed some errands.

oOoOoOo

Sakura was already prepared for bed, wearing nothing beneath her tied-together bathrobe as she sat on the bed and brushed her hair, when Kakashi entered through her window. She had long ago resigned herself to the fact that her teammates, companions, and friends tended to have an almost-phobic aversion toward entering her home through the front door, like normal people.

Then again, she was herself hardly normal, and she did prefer to come through the front door.

As Kakashi wordlessly shucked his shoes and vest, and then languidly sprawled about on her bed, Sakura decided that being normal was for the bird. The sight of Kakashi, all lean muscle and bone, oh so generously laid out before her like a well-deserved reward for the events she had had to suffer through the past week, made a delicious warmth tingle in her entire body. She briefly considered seducing Kakashi, but realized seduction was a subtle sort of dance that she simply had no patience for at this time.

If this was why Tsunade had wanted them both to have three days off, despite the need for every available, healthy hand, then Sakura was going to take full advantage of such.

Kakashi was a man. She was a woman, fully grown and matured. Despite all that happened, her mind was back (although it still felt like it rattled around in her head in multiple pieces), her body was repairing, and she found that, somewhere along the line, she had given her heart over to Kakashi. (In truth, she have given it to Kakashi before, in a more strictly platonic sense, and he shared it with Naruto, Sai, Ino, Tsunade, and all of Sakura's precious people, but now there was a different sense in his ownership to her heart.)

So when Kakashi reached over for the blankets, Sakura pushed them out of his reach and moved to straddle his hips. Kakashi's one revealed eye widened as Sakura pressed her hands into the mattress on either side of his head, and leaned forward to softly brush her lips against the outline of his.

Kakashi's eye flickered down, lingered a moment, and then turned back to Sakura's face. She smiled wickedly and slowly ground her hips against his, as another Jounin in another time and place had once taught felt her nipples tighten as arousal began to curl in the pit of her stomach and send a slow buzzing pleasure downward.

Kakashi's eye fluttered shut. "We shouldn't," he whispered, his hands fisting the sheets.

"You 'shouldn't' have stayed at my side then."

"You need me."

_Got that one right! _Sakura lifted one hand and brushed it against the edges of his mask. "And you think that stopped, now that we know everything – well, except for Naruto's village. Do we go back to being alive, but lonely?" She slipped inquiring fingers beneath the mask, and slowly pushed it down. He caught her hand in one of his own and squeezed.

His breath was quickening in his chest as she undulated against him at a slightly faster speed. "There will be no going back," he whispered, a fevered look crossing his face. "I can't promise there will never be heartache, or that I will always protect you. I'm a shinobi – my path lies in bloodshed."

She bent forward and kissed the outline of his lips. "And I am kunoichi; I am med-nin. My path lies in bloodshed, because I will try and stop the flow, patch up the wounds, and heal the worst of the damage. Sometimes, I even jump into the attack to stop it, or destroy the target before there's a need for my companions to be wounded." She tugged the cloth lower. "I know what we are; there are no illusions. But I can take care of myself."

He frowned. "This whole mess happened because you couldn't."

"Which is why I need someone to watch my back." She giggled and wriggled creatively. Kakashi's hips finally bucked beneath her own and he sat half-upright, eye wide and fingers clenching at the sheets. "What? You rather I trust someone who lost an entire village?"

Kakashi tilted his head to the side, looking comical with his eye wide in surprise and mask half-off and askew. "I admit I haven't lost an entire village all at once."

"Or should I trust someone who fucked up so spectacularly that he landed in the Bingo Book as an S-class villain?"

Kakashi regarded her strangely. "Noooooo…"

Up until now, their relationship hadn't been passionate. Sakura had always expected that when she fell in love, there would be emotional fireworks, breathless rushes of hormones, and headwhirling, heartpounding, worldstopping need.

She pushed herself up on her knees, swiftly undid the belt on her bathrobe, and pushed the garment off her body. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, knowing that lifting her body put her chest directly within the line of his vision, and lifting her arm did interesting things to various parts of her anatomy. "I've been very patient with you," she said. _Finally!_ cried the tingly bits in exhilarated triumph. _We get some action!_

"Have you now?"

She finally tugged the mask off and flipped it over her shoulder, not caring where it landed when she had a pair of very fine lips to explore first with her fingertips, feather-light and in wonder, and then with her own lips. She ducked her head to kiss him again, pushing eagerly against his mouth. A large hand, fingers callused but gentle, trailed up her side before finally cupping a breast. Her entire body tingled in response.

Being a kunoichi and med-nin, Sakura was used to the exhilaration of adrenaline-infused fights to the death and fights to stop death. She had expected that falling in love with be the same sort of exhilaration – not this steady stream of warmth and fondness, of basking in such a rare of stability in her life.

She ground against him again, breaking their lips apart. She tried to sound seductive, but couldn't manage with the giddy giggling. "I've had you in my bed for these past few days and only _now_ get to do anything."

"I commend you on your patience." She grabbed his head between her hands and pressed her lips against his forehead, words breathless between the stolen kisses. His other hand rose up to grip her hip, fingers pressing against the hollow. "Undoubtedly it will be worth the wait for both of us."

After the rollercoaster of emotions and questionable sanity this latest adventure had brought, Sakura realized that such a reliable, stable love in her life was far greater than any explosion of passionate romance. Explosions, after all, left a lot of destruction in their wake, and were quick and fleeting.

"It got frustrating at times." She blinked as unexpected tears stung her eyes. She squeezed them shut and tried not to think of so many lost opportunities, but instead of the here, the now, the moment, the oooooh – hot wet mouth! Mmmmmmm~

Sakura's eyes flickered open and she buried her hands in Kakashi's soft hair as he sucked and gently scraped with his teeth. The pleasure burned a steady path to the junction between her legs, spiraling and coiling. _Savor the tingle. _"No more talking?" she asked breathlessly.

"Keep talking," Kakashi said around her nipple. He pulled back and blew on it, and she shivered. He switched to the other. "I like the sound of your voice." He looked up at her long enough to wink. "Besides, it won't be long before you _can't_ talk."

"Someone has confidence." _Savor the tingle. Sex is about climbing the peak, the fun of getting there. _Kakashi's hands explored her naked body, mouth following here and there, nipping and licking. She sighed as her own hands slid from his head to his neck, and then stopped at the collar of his shirt. "Why am I the only one undressed here?" she demanded petulantly, tugging at the shirt without wanting to rip it from his body. Most men tended to be a little cowed at the sight of her strength, although Kakashi had never once been anything more than proud (and occasionally intimidated) of it.

Nonetheless, she didn't want Kakashi to get the idea that she was out to club him over the head and drag him back to her lair.

As if reading her thoughts, Kakashi grabbed a fistful of his shirt and yanked it up and over his head with less than a second's worth of detachment from where he was slavering attention to one breast, his free hand massaging her coccyx. Mmmm. She couldn't decide if she wanted to press back at his free hand, arch into his mouth, or undulate against his hips _Once that pinnacle is overcome, the tingle becomes a quick burst and is then gone – fleeting; really, not even worth the effort sometimes. So savor that tingle._

With a broad expanse of muscle and skin to stroke, Sakura set about to doing it. She enjoyed the feel of his scarred skin beneath her hands, the play of muscles as they rippled and jumped. But she craved to do more. She wanted to consume him – fill her senses with his essence until he marked her with his scent, touch, and taste. She wanted to bear his bruises as marks of triumph – wanted the world to know how intimately he had taken her and she had allowed him.

Kakashi's hands were slipping lower and lower, and her arousal burned hotter. She wanted to draw it out as long as she could, but her impatience was rearing its ugly head. She hurriedly guided his hand to the junction between her legs. Her hips twitched as the fingers slid, massaged, and finally curled. She occupied her hands by massaging his flesh, kneading at the chakra points and the line of his neck and chest. _Don't take much to get a man excited – a flash of skin, the touch of warmth and slick flesh—_

She drew his face up for another kiss, and tentatively drew her fingers along the edge of his forehead protector. He frowned unhappily at that, so she pressed her fingertips against the underside of his jaw and slowly settled herself down, trapping his hand beneath and within, and settling upon his own heat. _–see, Sakura, we guys get off much easier than you gals. So use us like a toy. Believe me when I say all we have to do is settle back, grin, and go along for the ride. And we'd enjoy _every_ moment of it._

With an impatient grunt, Kakashi slid a hand beneath one pale thigh and rolled them over, pinning Sakura beneath him. He worked his other hand free from her and hooked a thumb under his waistbands. "Are you sure?" he asked.

Sakura stared breathlessly at him, and then planted a chaste kiss on his lips.

_But I can't possibly tell you what it means to top. None of us like to turn our backs to the doors and expose ourselves, even in sex - not shinobi; not kunoichi. _

"I am – but are you?"

His one eye crinkled merrily as he smiled brightly. "Naturally!" She helped him push the clothes down and kick them out of their way. She really couldn't tell who was purring as their long limbs tangled and tugged until his lanky body fit against hers, line against line, curve filling crook. It was hot – so very hot – and Sakura felt like she was being smothered by the heat and the protectiveness and oh, the pleasure that made her tingle _everywhere_ and her toes curl in delight.

_If you find someone special enough, willing to pleasure you __**and**_ _shield your body from possible attack at the same time? _

When Kakashi finally entered her, his heat matched her own. She angled and rolled her pelvis to meet each thrust, his pace slowly growing in speed and intensity. Lips mashed together, more for contact than for pleasure, eyes closed and each gasping breath drawing air from the other like drowning swimmers. Suffocation – he was sucking life from her just as she was consuming him, the fire burning, burning. Sharing together, two becoming one.

_Don't let them go, hear me? Watch their back, always caring and always protecting. Never let them go. Grow old, Sakura, you and whomever you chose. _

The tingle was spreading through her arms, her very fingertips prickling as she pressed further against him, as if their bodies could meld together like soft wax. "More," she whispered against his lips. "Take more - _all_ of me." Becoming one, because two are inadequate. His fingernails clawed the outside of her thigh, a salty contrast to the sweet, pain and pleasure mixing together and balancing as spice, as he drew her leg up and over one shoulder to gain depth. The tingle had become a throb; she felt her vaginal walls spasm repeatedly, and her hips rolled hard against Kakashi's as she concentrated on that delicious sensation.

_Grow old and die in bed together, preferably after coitus._

Balancing like light and day, old and young, new and used. A spring was tightening in her abdomen as the throbs became harder with Kakashi's strokes.

_Savor the tingle. Savor it – _

Balancing like love and hate. Balancing like life and death, the path of the shinobi, the decision of the kunoichi. Ying and yang. Pleasure of the healed body amidst the pain of shattered mind.

_savor it –_

The spring snapped, and Sakura squeaked and gasped as her climax swept through her like a torrential flashflood. She rode the sensations through, and eased into a floating simmer of tingling afterbuzz. She clasped both hands to Kakashi's face as he rolled against her hips and savored the feel of her climax, muscles clamping and milking around him. After another half-minute of thrusting, he shuddered to a halt; his eye pressed tightly close and his body relaxed suddenly with its own peak reached and realized.

"Stay with me," she whispered and clung as he drew back.

He fumbled around for a moment before he finally grasped the sheets. It took some tugging to untangle them from beneath Sakura before he covered them both. She admired the way the muscles of his arms bunched with the effort and movement. "Of course."

Kakashi swiftly fell asleep, his hand tangled in her hair and hers pressed against his navel. Just as Sakura was drifting off, she felt the brush of something against the shell of her ear, and the whisper of Kiba's voice.

"Glad to know you won't be needing any more tutoring."

Sakura would have cheerfully strangled him, except she somehow knew that the first time she and Kakashi had sex, there would be someone's voice softly guiding her through that first time, marking it as something special because that voice recognized when something was more than just mindless sex; when it was something more than just two lonely people sharing a quick moment of togetherness.

Or two people trying not to get caught in a brothel…

She lifted herself up long enough to study Kakashi's still face before snuggling close.

As bedmates went, he was better than the average lover. He only stole the blankets twice.

* * *

SPECIAL SIDE STORY OF SIDE STORY

Sasuke settled once more in the ear-shell of the great stone statue, fitting his lank body to the curves and crooks of stone. He flopped his stiff arms across his chest and closed his eyes for some much-needed rest, ready to bury the monster that lurked in the background of his mind.

But the problem with resting was that visitors often prevented such.

One sharingan eye opened. "What do you want?"

Kiba floated closer. "To give a hedonistic blowjob!"

Sasuke crossed his legs and shuddered. "I may be a cold prick, but there's no way that frigid mouth of yours is coming anywhere near it."

Kiba waved a hand in annoyance. "People always think that ghosts are cold - I'll have you know that I'm an incorporeal being of energy: neither hot, _or_ cold."

Sasuke was silent for a moment. "What about Sakura?"

"I refuse to enter someone else's territory. Contrary to most rumors, the only married or claimed persons I ever fucked were in brothels, and only then because everything there is fair game." Kiba floated within reach and smothered Sasuke with an upside-down kiss. Sasuke pressed in to it with all the eagerness of a corpse that wasn't an Inuzuka. "Can you feel that?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Not really. Although you being a ghost may have little to do with that. My body has been numb to external stimuli ever since the monster took up residence." He watched Kiba's hand trail down the length of his body and slip under his trousers. "I feel detached from that, too."

Kiba tongued Sasuke's ear. "You might feel less detached if you actually _uncrossed_ your knees. But, see, what I like about you is the fact that you can go for _hours_. Granted, it takes three hours of foreplay just to get a response, but I'm hoping for a quickie this time! Two hours total ought to be enough. Well, quickie for you," he added as an afterthought.

Sasuke sighed. "My life is pathetic."

"You'll hardly find a living soul with my expertise."

He laughed at that and shook his head at Kiba's ego. "You're almost as bad as Naruto when it comes to stubbornness." Sasuke settled back against the rock and spread his thighs, and Kiba lightly settled between them. "I've got all day - we'll see how far this gets."

"Hmmm?"

"It's rude to talk with your mouth full," Sasuke said, cocking his head to the side with a detached expression in his eyes.

Kiba cheekily waved a hand overhead. "Hmmm!"

"But keep doing it anyway. I think I can _feel_ that."

"Mmm-mmm!" Kiba lifted his head. "By the way, I saw Mom leaving." He went cross-eyed. "Hey! You're wilting!"


End file.
